The weather had been extraordinary for the last two weeks. It was as if the sun wanted to prove that spring could be the same at the 56 parallel as it was at Washington's 39th this time of the year. The wind could still be chilly, but nevertheless the sunrays warmed those courageous enough to sit outside in sheltered corners, and the sky over the highland peaks was as blue as Monet could have painted it.

Ideal flying weather.

Although neither of her friends had said a word, Mattie had felt increasingly pressured to make up her mind to give it a try. She knew Hal and Rob would never go flying without her, as they knew she was secretly battling with the subject, but she did notice the way Rob would look at the sky when they were walking outside. Someone unconnected to the matter probably wouldn't have picked up on it, but Mattie had seen this exact same expression too often in Harm's eyes when he longed to take a tour in Sarah but was buried up to his neck and then some in work.

Seeing the same longing in her friend's eyes and knowing he tried to hide it because he knew it caused her problems made Mattie hurt for him. As long as they couldn't be sure the weather would hold, she had an excuse to wait, but eventually she realized that the only way to ease the underlying tension rested in her very own hands. So two days ago, she had dug up all the courage she could find within her and had, without saying a word, entered the kitchen for their traditional night tea – placing the flight-school flyer and Rob's Christmas card on the kitchen table in front of them. Her sacrifice had immediately been recognized as such.

Rob looked up in surprise and instantly understood. "You sure, Matt?" was all he said.

Hal looked at him questioningly. "Sure about what?"

Rob ignored him. "You don't look too comfortable about it," he gently told her. "Don't do anything you don't feel at ease about yet, okay?"

Mattie swallowed and tried a crooked smile. "You notice everything, do you? No, I'm not feeling comfortable about it. In fact, this is scaring the hell out of me. But I've been seeing Dr. Norris twice a week since December, and I've talked to her about this a lot recently. Today she told me that now was as good a point to try as any. She says I've already come a long way in the therapy, more than she thought I would, at this point. Now I might want to think about taking the next step." She sighed shakily. "Which is: flying with someone I trust."

"Wow, that's great, Matt," Hal congratulated her, getting up and patting her on the back. "Celebration tea?" he asked, winking.

"Slow down," Mattie replied, lifting her hands in an appeasing gesture. "I haven't been up there yet. I might still screw it up. But as to the tea: thanks, I'd like some."

"I second what Hal said," Rob spoke up. Mattie wasn't sure if she had just imagined the slight tinge of pride in his voice, but the smile he gave her was one of pure encouragement. "Way to go, Matt. Just yell and I'll talk to Ian first thing in the morning."

Her chuckle was clearly uneasy. "Well, I just yelled, I guess."

If possible, his smile widened. "Uh... yeah, I guess you did. Sunday?"

"If the weather forecast is good."

"It is," Hal said, pouring Mattie a cup of his freshly brewed beverage. "13 degrees centigrade, little wind, high pressure, 1024 millibars, lowering in the course of the afternoon. Low pressure approaching but not hitting land before early Monday. No precipitation during the weekend. Good enough, I'd say. Rob?"

"Sounds just fine." Mattie could see Rob was trying to hide his excitement. Again he looked a lot like Harm when he didn't want to let on that something was moving him.

Involuntarily, she smiled. "Then it's a date. And I'll ask Pam, too, so we can go up in four and pay less," she added when she noticed how Rob jumped on the word 'date'.

That had been on Friday night. Mattie had actually managed to relax and had almost looked forward to the magnificent tour Rob had planned for the four of them. However, when they got in the car this morning to drive out here, her stomach had begun to cramp slightly. She had tried to convince herself this was due to the many curves in the street, but now, standing on the tarmac and watching Rob do the pre-flight check-up, she couldn't fool herself any longer. She was only glad she didn't have to play brave with any of the group as Pam knew her from their work in NEXUS.

The petite young woman laid her arm around Mattie's waist and gave her a comradely squeeze. "You'll do fine, Matt. Jeannie let us switch off the lights last Wednesday, and if she can face her fear, then you will, too. And if you feel you can't hold it together, then just tell me." She smiled and held her open backpack in front of Mattie's eyes. "I brought a 'frustration towel'. If things go haywire for you, grab it, bite on it, and scream as loud as you can, okay? The muffled tone won't scare us, and you can work your fear off on it until you don't have any force left. Works wonders." She winked. "I can tell from my own experience."

For a moment, Mattie let her head rest on her older friend's shoulder. "Thanks, Pam. You're the best. I'm glad you're here."

"Are you kidding? I wouldn't have missed this tour for the world!"

"Ladies? We'd be ready for take-off," Rob invited them to join Hal and him.

They walked over to their friends and waited to be given further instructions.

"Matt, do you think you'd be all right sitting in front with me?" Rob asked. "I think looking at the control panel might let you have a better feeling for what's happening, as you know what you're seeing. And I always like having a co-pilot at hand," he added with a wink.

'No need to freak out, you could sit anywhere,' Mattie told herself. "Okay," she agreed, "but remember I'm not... exactly a pilot."

"Sure, don't worry."

Pam and Hal got in in the rear, and Mattie braced herself. Drawing a deep breath, she stepped on the wing, pulled herself up and slid onto the co-pilot's seat next to Rob, who handed her a headset. She put it on, fiddling with the mike a little because her hands were suddenly shaking wildly. Rob noticed her distress, leaned over and straightened it out for her. Mattie felt he was suddenly awfully close. She tensed.

Gently holding on to both her earmuffs, he looked at her intently. "Point of no return, Matt," he said softly so the others wouldn't hear. "It's okay if you want to call it off. We'd all understand." He still didn't draw back his hands.

Mattie needed two tries to get her voice to comply, but she was determined to stand her ground. "Thank you," she answered just as low, trying a smile. "But I'll be okay." Reaching up with her right hand, she closed her fingers around his right wrist and held on for a short moment until he gave a slight, encouraging nod, letting go of her headphone and leaning back in his seat.

Getting the permission via the radio, Rob ignited the motor. "Ben Craig ground control, this is 3-4-7-Golf-November, requesting taxiing clearance," he told the tower.

The tower radioed the permission to taxi to the far end of the runway. "Hang on, folks, here we go," Rob announced and set their Tiger in motion. Mattie kept her eyes glued to the instruments, daring them to indicate anything out of the ordinary, until she became aware of her underlying paranoia and forced herself to lean back. Then she turned in her seat.

"Pam?"

"Yes?"

"Umm, might I have the towel, please?" she asked sheepishly. "Just in case, you know."

With a smile, Pam handed her the requested object, not commenting. Mattie made a long, thin roll and bit on it as she would on a stick, feeling stupid. However, when none of the others gave the slightest sign that they found she was acting silly but just kept concentrating on what Rob was doing, she relaxed, finding the sensation of grinding her teeth around something soft did indeed ease her tension to some degree. Meanwhile, Rob had radioed for take-off clearance.

"3-4-7-Golf-November, this is Ben Craig air control, you are cleared for take-off," the tower told them.

Rob acknowledged, concentrated and advanced the throttle. Vibrating slightly, the Tiger picked up speed as it followed the long, slim strip of tarmac until the speed indicator in front of her told Mattie it was time to pull up. Synchronically to her thoughts, Rob made the aircraft gain height, and instantly, the well-known floating sensation settled in her stomach, electrifying and at the same time paralyzing her. Clinging forcefully to her armrests, Mattie closed her eyes for the moment, concentrating on her breathing as long as the plane was ascending fast.

Eventually, Rob eased the Tiger's nose down a little. Feeling the gravitation pressing her in her seat lessen to some degree, Mattie dared open her eyes again, noticing she all but had a cramp in her jaws from biting the towel hard all the time up. Once her eyes had put together a clear picture of her surroundings, Mattie felt as though she were able to move again and took the cloth out of her mouth. Massaging her sore face muscles, she found it hard not to grin.

Rob looked over to her now, and in his green eyes, Mattie saw the same sparkling joy she remembered seeing in Harm's blue ones, up in the air. The smile he gave her momentarily took her breath away. "Welcome back, Matt," was all he said. "And this," with his hand he made a presenting gesture in front, "is all for you today."

Trembling – but not knowing whether with fear or with anticipation – Mattie straightened in her seat and for the first time really dared look outside.

The land was still mostly brownish-gray, as the molten snow had left it, but if one looked more closely, a slight green veil seemed to cover the pastures, telling of the nearing spring. Down below, the Strathmore Valley was stretching, flanked on both sides by the rocky, but rounded highland peaks. Some of the mountain tops still showed snowy spots in some hidden corners, and little lakes of melting water were sparkling in the brilliant sun.

"Over there." Hal, who had a map on his knees, stuck his outstretched arm in between Rob and Mattie pointing in front. "That should be Ben Macdhui, that peak at about 11 o'clock. And if we continue in this direction, we should get to see Ben Nevis, too, at more or less 9 o'clock." It was obvious he was all excitement.

"How are you feeling, Mattie?" Pam asked, resting her hands on Mattie's shoulders.

Slowly, Mattie emerged from the dazed paralysis that had taken hold of her. The airspeed indicator showed they were traveling at about 120 knots. The directional indicator read 315, a northwestern course, and the altimeter told her they were flying on a cruising altitude of approximately 6000 feet above sea level. They were flying, as it seemed, with utmost ease, and the gorgeous panorama left her speechless.

"I'd forgotten what this feels like," she whispered, more to herself. Her lower lip started to tremble and she bit it, staring in front.

No one had heard her but Rob had seen she had answered. "You okay?" he asked.

Her eyes wandering to and fro between the windows and the control panel, Mattie only nodded, overwhelmed, fighting her tears. For a moment she glanced to the side and met Rob's eyes. She could see he instantly understood what was going on in her. His worried expression lit up and it was with new energy that he turned in front, taking the Tiger into a wide, smooth turn to the left, opening the view on the valley a little wider.

"Wow, this is so awesome." Pam had her nose flattened against the side window. "Just imagine that the others are just following their usual Sunday routines, like sleeping off last night's two liters of Guinness, or whatever..."

"... and we might just be spying on whatever they do, from up here," Hal chimed in. "If I'd brought my notebook, there's this program issued by NASA that..."

"I don't even want to think about what ways there are to keep us under constant observation," Rob said. "I prefer clinging to the naive belief that at least in the bathroom I'm on my own."

"You never know." Hal's voice had taken up a somber undertone, making them laugh. "At least Shiva sees you wherever you might be."

"Reassuring thought."

Mattie's chest felt as if she would burst if she didn't find a valve for her emotions soon. "Guys," she spoke up, not caring about the distinct trembling in her voice. "Don't worry, please, I'm fine. But if I don't scream now, I'll burst. This is just... I don't know... I..."

"Take the towel, Matt," Pam reminded her, her grin audible.

"Okay..." Mattie stuffed the roll of cloth between her teeth again, drew a mighty breath and then screamed into the towel with all that was in her. When she ran out of breath, she pulled the cloth from her mouth and wiped the tears from her eyes. Around her, loud clapping and whooping was heard.

"Yeeehaa!" Hal yelled from behind, punching her arm. "You did it, Matt! This is it!"

"I can't believe it!" Mattie half laughed, half cried.

"Way to go, Matt," Rob said, shooting her a radiant smile and then exercising another elegant turn that made them feel the g's just a little more than was necessary. The maneuver elicited more excited whoops and laughter, and this time, Mattie joined in as if it were the most natural thing in the world for her. At the apparent success of his stunt, Rob repeated it various times, careful to stay within the limits of what air control would tolerate. Who ever needed champagne to feel this giddy? Mattie wondered, never wanting this moment to end.

"Okay, people," Hal spoke up again when they had quieted down a bit. "Now let's do what we've come here for in the first place. Here goes: if Rob didn't screw up our course with his maneuvers, we should be heading towards Ben Nevis now. We should be able to see the peak in..."

As it turned out, Rob had plotted a magnificent course, and Hal had outdone himself preparing a commentary worthy of Jim Carrey mimicking a tourist guide. They followed a wide round course, always seeing the Grampian mountains at their starboard side, finally turning their tail on them in order to head towards Ben Craig airfield again.

They were still gliding smoothly above the scenery, making about 135 mph in ground speed. However, once they had adjusted to the 135 course that was to take them home again, Mattie noted that Rob was gripping the yoke more tightly, his brow occasionally furrowing. Involuntarily analyzing the Tiger's movements, she noticed that the winds must have strengthened, occasional crosswind gusts pushing the aircraft a little off the course, forcing Rob to counteract with the rudder.

The others didn't seem to have noticed yet. Hal and Pam were right now vividly discussing the benefits of an Ayurveda treatment for stress disorder. Feeling her insides start to clench in a first reminder of her feared panic, Mattie resolved that she needed to stay inconspicuously happy, in order not to make them uneasy. After all, the slight turbulences were nothing out of the ordinary, and Rob didn't seem all that bothered by them. Applying one of the autogenic- training methods suggested by Dr. Norris, Mattie willed her rising fear down and attentively observed the control panel in front of her.

"You're being very quiet there, Matt," Hal eventually observed. "You okay?"

Mattie forced a smile into her voice. "Yeah, don't worry, I'm fine. I guess I tired myself out a little, screaming so much, you know."

"Ah, okay."

For a few minutes, all proceeded normally, and Mattie had just about begun to finally relax again, when Murphy's Law struck.

"Argh, f***!" Rob swore, making them all jump. He was furiously rubbing his left eye, trying not to let his movements have effect on the yoke.

"What is it?" Hal sounded slightly panicky. "You all right?"

"Yeah, as you can see I'm just great!" Rob ground out, hissing in pain, still rubbing his eye.

"What happened?" Pam somehow managed to sound all calm.

"There was this fly circling around me all the time," Rob told them. "I noticed it right after take-off, but as long as the weather was so easy it didn't bother me at all. Now we're hitting slight turbulences, nothing big, but I need to concentrate more to keep her steady. So the beast was starting to irritate me. I tried to get it when it was sitting on the window next to me, but just when I was preparing to slap, a gust from the side shook the plane, and my movement went out of control. I hit myself in the face, and problem is," he hissed again and swallowed, "my thumbnail scratched my left eye. Hurts like hell. Right now, I can't see a thing here. Once it calms down, the sight's gonna return in full, but I can't see very well on the right, too, because the pain's making my eyes tear up. Everything's just one big blur."

"Oh, shit..." Hal murmured flatly. "How long until you're operational again?"

"Too long, probably a couple of hours. We can stay up another 30 minutes or so but we'll be running short on fuel if we don't land by that time."

"You'll have to get us down somehow," Pam matter-of-factly summed up the situation. "Is there anything we can do to help?" Mattie admired her for being able to remain so cool. She herself felt all effects of her autogenic training dissipate, and the well-known fear was once again starting to strangle her. Involuntarily, Mattie grabbed the neck of her t-shirt and pulled hard, feeling she needed more air. 'Don't hyperventilate, don't hyperventilate,' she kept repeating her mantra.

"Actually, yes, there is," Rob answered Pam's question, removing his hand from his eye, blinking and grimacing. Hal handed him a handkerchief and Rob dried the tears on his cheeks, apparently still trying to get the world into some focus again. "But it's really only Mattie who can help me because she knows what she's looking at," he explains. "Matt, are you with us?"

'Everything depends on you. Your friends depend on you. Get a grip, dammit!' Mattie inwardly yelled at herself, trying not to think of what they were facing: the landing. The one maneuver that had caused all the pain and sorrow in her life, five years ago. She swallowed heavily. "Yes. What do you want me to do?"

"I can see some," Rob explained, the strain in his voice showing that he still had to be in pain, "but I need you to be my extra eyes now, Matt. I'd rather have talked you through the landing altogether, but it's been so long since you've done a landing that we'll have to cope like this. How well are you acquainted with instrument flight?"

"Some," Mattie answered shakily. "I haven't done a night landing yet, but I did have to rely on the instruments two or three times when the sight was poor. Like when..." She broke off, her hand again finding its way to her collar. However, Mattie managed to stop the movement in mid-air and forced her hand back down.

'This is just your head. You have all the air you need. Breathe slowly, as the reflex comes to you, don't draw active breaths.'

For a moment, Rob turned his head to face her, and she could see how red and swollen his left eye had become. However, his smile was just as enchanting as ever, be it teary and pained or not. "You're not completely on your own here, Matt," he said reassuringly. "I can still decipher more or less what I see on the controls. I just need you as my backup reader, in case I need a quick reading and can't make it out. Or in case anything might escape my notice. I'm just not completely reliable right now."

Mattie gave herself one final mental kick and nodded, actually managing to give him a small smile in return. "Roger. Let's do this."

"You go, girl," Hal cheered from behind, but he was immediately shushed by Pam who told him their pilots needed to concentrate now.

Mattie glued her eyes to the control panel as if her life depended on it. Maybe it did, she thought wryly, managing to push the implications away.

"Ben Craig air control, this is Romeo-3-4-7-Golf-November. Requesting landing clearance." Rob's voice was all business now. They had long left their cruising altitude and were gliding at about 3000 feet, making a descent rate of about 900 feet per minute.

"7-Golf-November, this is Ben Craig air control. You are cleared for landing on Runway One-Four."

Mattie's eyes darted to the direction indicator. "The confusion made us deviate a little. You need to correct your heading by about 5 degrees, before you can turn to 140 for the landing."

"Roger that. Tell me when I reach 134 so the momentum does the rest."

"You're almost there," Mattie told him, only mildly wondering where on Earth she had found her composure, considering everything she was feeling. "Easy now... okay, 134."

Rob ended the turn and eventually, the plane reached their predefined course again. "Altitude?"

"1800 feet," Mattie read. "Pull her up a little. We're descending too quickly."

"How much?" Rob minimally changed the position of the yoke.

"Wait, ah, yes, that should do. Hang on. Can you see the landing strip?"

Rob slightly leaned forward and squinted. "Yeah, I see it. I think we need to go to 140 now. Same procedure as before. 139 is limit."

"Got it. You're at 136... 137... 138... 139, fly straight on. Descent rate looks good."

"Attitude?"

"Looks good. Course is 140 now."

"Good. Speed?"

"You could give a little more flaps."

"Done. Okay..." Rob straightened in his seat, relaxing visibly. "We're close enough now," he declared. "I can see well enough to bring her in on my own. Thank you, Matt, you've been a great help."

"Welcome..." Mattie let herself sink back into her seat, relieved, if still watching the control panel closely. A moment later, the Tiger safely made contact with the pavement, and Rob stepped on the brakes.

"Ben Craig ground control, this is 7-Golf-November. Clearing the active runway." Mattie thought she had never heard Rob's voice sound so relieved before. From the rear seat, clapping was heard, joined by an excuse of Hal's, telling them the tourist routine was the only fitting reaction right now, and that they should spare them when they got off the plane.

Rob taxied to their final parking position, then opened the canopy and hopped out. Mattie saw him round the plane at a quick pace while Pam and Hal were getting out on the pilot's side. For a few endless moments, she couldn't manage to pull herself up and just sat motionless. But eventually, the fact began to register in her brain that this time, she'd made it through – and not just because of dumb luck. Because she and Rob had done a good team job.

With shaking knees, but smiling, she clumsily climbed out of the Tiger's cockpit and stepped on the wing. Down on the tarmac, Rob – white-faced and with a dreadfully red eye – held out his arms to her. Not trusting her knees any further, Mattie sat down on the wing and let herself slip down on her feet. Rob was there to help her stand. When their eyes met, they could read in each other's gaze what they'd just been through together, and emotions ran high. Rob forcefully pulled Mattie close, encircling her in his arms and burying his nose in her hair.

Mattie let herself be embraced, holding on to her friend for dear life. She was still shaking but she could feel that he was trembling, too, as the emotional aftermath of the situation rolled over them.

"I was responsible for all of you," Rob whispered, "and I let you down."

"No, you didn't," Mattie replied in a low voice, never letting go of him. "We're all here, aren't we?"

"Yes, but if you hadn't been able to step in, I might have gotten us all killed." Mattie felt the remorse was hanging heavily on Rob's shoulders. She drew back slightly so she could look at him.

"Maybe. You don't know that. Look, if there's one thing I really learned during my rehab and all, it's that you should never waste time thinking about what-ifs and could-haves. The situation is, we're all alive and well, and you did a great job landing the bird half blind. Stick to that, and forget about what might have happened, okay?"

He heaved a shaky sigh and gave her a crooked, doubtful smile. "I'll try. Still," he sobered, "you did an outstanding job there, Matt. I could feel you were panicking, but you willed it down and gained control. That's more than most people would have managed to do in the same situation. So maybe this unlucky flight did some good, after all."

"It definitely did," she agreed. "And just for the record: I don't think it was that unlucky at all. Until that fly started the troubles, I was having the time of my life." She looked at him intently, wanting to make him see how important this day was for her. "This is one of the most beautiful days of my life, Rob," she confessed. "You managed to get me flying again. Honestly, I doubt I'd have gotten this far without you. You can't even begin to understand how much this means to me. Thank you," she added simply, but she felt her words resounding from the bottom of her heart.

"You're welcome," he only answered softly, pulling her close again and resting his cheek on top of her hair. Mattie had no idea how long they stood there, just reveling in the closeness of a very special friend, until Hal discretely but distinctly cleared his throat.

"I guess we could all use a good cup of some anti-stress tea now, right?"

"Mommy tub! Ben 'wim!"

It should have been a day away from the office – but apparently neither her son, nor the never-ending virtual queue of people waiting to call her, wanted to allow her an idle minute. Sighing, Mac wrapped the squirming and wailing toddler into a large bath towel and headed to the living-room, ignoring her son's protest. "That was just to clean you up. And now Mommy needs to get to the phone, okay? Be a good little sailor." Inwardly, she still cringed at the thought that 'sailor' had been one of the first words Ben had clearly associated with a concept.

'Okay, Harm's brains,' she had resignedly admitted to herself.

"Stop pulling at my collar," she told him when she tried to find a comfortable position to talk – one ear on the receiver, the other being examined by the kid on her arm. "Hello?"

["You sound pretty stressed."]

"Maybe that's because that's what I am. Hey, Mats."

["The general call you for any favors you could do him from your home computer?"]

"No, fortunately he realized that I do need my days at home to catch up on my housewife duties. It's just that every 15 minutes the phone starts to ring, and that your brother's being especially lively today. He decided to play and make mud-pies out of my chocolate dough in the kitchen when I was answering another call," Mac explained with a crooked grin. Then she sobered. "Is everything okay? This is an odd time for you to call."

["Yeah, I know, but I just felt like calling to hear how you all were. Sorry if I called at a bad moment."] The girl didn't sound uneasy at all, so whatever she was calling about couldn't be all that bad, Mac thought, relieved.

["Harm's at the office?"]

"Of course, and he won't be back for another four hours, at least." Mac let a hint of mock severity creep into her voice that she had found out worked well to give Mattie an opening. "Don't beat around the bush. Why are you really calling?"

["Doing the mom routine again, huh?"] Mac could hear Mattie was grinning. ["Okay, so I have an ulterior motive. Have you got a minute or two?"]

"Yeah, I think I do. Ben just found out cuddling with my favorite bath towel is a great thing to do."

["The fluffy green one?"]

"Exactly. So, what's up?" Mac was determined not to let her off the hook, knowing Mattie would only call at an hour like this if she had something really important to discuss.

["Two days ago I went flying."] Mattie's voice had sounded very shy, but she hadn't quite managed to hide the pride resounding in her tone.

Mac's heart leapt. What a great surprise for Harm! But why was she the first to know, not him? She had to make sure she had gotten the picture right. "You mean on a small plane?"

["Yup. We rented a Tiger at a nearby airfield where they offer special rates for St Andrews students, and Rob took us on a Highland sightseeing tour that's worth remembering."]

"Wow, Mattie, that's fantastic news." She had the impression the sun was shining just a little brighter. "But tell me, what managed to bring that on? Did your therapist tell you to do it?"

["She didn't discourage me."]

"Meaning what exactly?"

["Actually, it was Rob who started it all,"] Mattie started to elaborate. ["A few months ago, he came by this ad in Hal's bag, informing people that a generous St-Andrews alumnus was financing a lot of things for Ben Craig airfield if they let us students fly for very little. Rob outed himself as a private pilot and invited us to go flying together. You can imagine how that discussion went..."]

Mac grimaced, thinking of a number of recent panic breakdowns on the phone. Luckily, they had lessened ever since Mattie had started seeing that therapist. Not that Mac blamed her for being so hesitant about it – who better to relate than her? "I suppose that evening was... eventful?"

["Uh, yeah. Anyway, that's when I told Hal and Rob about my past, and they were just great about it."] Mac saw no need to remark that she wouldn't have expected anything else. ["And for Christmas, Rob gave me a voucher telling me to name the day I felt secure enough to try it out, and he'd personally take me up. If I chickened out, no one would hear a thing."]

"But you didn't?"

["No, although I was pretty close to it,"] Mattie admitted. ["When we were descending, Rob had eye problems because of a fly, and the bad things started coming back to me. But when Rob told me he needed me right then and there to be his second pair of eyes, I suddenly managed to get a grip. No idea how that happened. I just knew we had to get the plane down. So we did."]

Harm would be so thrilled. Mac could hardly wait to see his face at hearing the news. But had Mattie even told him? "Again, this is fabulous, Mats," she congratulated her daughter. "Have you told Harm?" She knew well she hadn't.

["Not yet,"] Mattie answered a little sheepishly. ["I wanted to do something special, and I... well..."]

"...needed someone to negotiate financing it, I suppose?"

["Kinda, yeah."]

"So what is it you're thinking about?"

["I did another NEXUS interview yesterday with my favorite participant in the project,"] Mattie replied. ["Jeannie had this idea when I told her I'd been flying. And Rob and Pam second it fully."]

"Second what?" Mac was beginning to get slightly unnerved about Mattie's next-to-no-info policy.

["Mac,"] Mattie sounded as if she were assembling all her courage. ["Harm promised that if I ever wanted to fly again, he'd make it happen. But I, well, I wouldn't want him to know just yet. So… uh… do you think you could manage to help me get my pilot's license without Harm knowing?"]

"This is some news," Mac said, astonished beyond belief. "Accelerating from zero to 100 in five seconds, are we?"

["I know it sounds that way, but Mac, I know I can do it! And I so want to!"]

It had been too long since Mac had heard her this eager to do something special, and she felt very much inclined to help Mattie carry out her surprise plan. However, she needed to make sure of one thing. "You sure you're not doing this just to prove something to yourself?"

["That was two days ago, before I got on the plane in the first place. But now I remember what flying feels like, and I really, really want to go back up there."]

"And if your panic returns?"

Mattie sobered a little. ["I know it can always happen. Panic disorder can never be healed. Too many things remind you of what you're so afraid of, and they can all trigger an attack. But that's no reason not to try if they really will, as long as you know how to fight the fear."

"Was that your therapist speaking?"

["Yeah. I asked her about my plan today. I wanted to make sure I wouldn't be doing something stupid."]

"And what did she tell you?"

["To go for it if I really wanted it badly enough."]

"Did she seem supportive?"

["Not right at the beginning. After that, she seemed to warm to the idea of my flying."]

"And I suppose that if this doesn't work out, you never even thought of doing it, right? Officially, I mean." Mac tested the terrain.

["Exactly. Especially when Harm's around."]

Ben had fallen asleep for good on Mac's lap – the bath seemed to have tired him out. Better get him to his bed and seize the opportunity to have him catch up a little on the sleep he tended to lose, drawing good-night processes out endlessly. "I see," Mac acknowledged. "And you'd get special rates?"

Mattie named the rates and fares. Mac had to admit it was in fact feasible. "Will you continue seeing your therapist?"

["'Course I will,"] Mattie affirmed readily. ["I think that once I start flying again, I might need her more than ever for some time. Don't worry, I never thought of quitting."]

For a moment, Mac pondered the options in her heart. What if something happened? Could she bear facing Harm, telling him she'd had a hand in it? And... could she bear losing this girl who had grown so dear to her? On the other hand, what were the odds that something of the kind would happen twice to the same person? Mac decided she loved statistics.

"Okay, let's start and see how things go, okay?"

["Mac, you're the best!"]

"Under one condition, though – or make that two."

["Whatever you want!"]

Mac shook her head at the overzealous girl, smiling. "That you'll be very attentive to how you feel and stop if you feel you're not there yet. And that you'll take me to witness Harm's reaction when you first take him up on a tour."

["That's a given. Thank you, Mac. I so want to do this for Harm,"] Mattie added, sobering slightly. ["For all he's done for me."]

"Then consider it done. But," Mac raised her virtual index finger, "I want an update after every lesson."

["You got it."]

"Then go catch your dream, hon."

["I will."]

June 15, 2010
1437 Local
North of Dundee
Scotland

Who would have guessed Scotland could be so hot? Once again, Harm pulled his handkerchief out of his pocket and tried to dry his forehead – which didn't really work as the piece of cloth was already completely soaked. Rob's Mini Cooper was an old one, too. So they had to go without air conditioning, and sitting folded in such a small car when you surpassed six feet wasn't exactly funny to begin with. Harm had asked Rob why he didn't get a bigger car, but when he had told him that this Mini Cooper had been his grandmother's for as long as he could remember, Harm knew exactly how Rob had to feel about it and had said nothing further.

In the rear, Mac was playing simple clapping games with Ben, in order to keep him quiet. So far, it had worked, but Harm hoped they'd arrive soon wherever Rob had promised to take them. Unfortunately, Mattie had received a call last night, learning she had to step in for a NEXUS co-researcher today, doing a last-minute interview to help someone wrap up his studies. So she had only been able to have breakfast with them at their hotel and had then entrusted upon Rob the task of taking them on the tour she seemed to have all planned out. She insisted she wanted it to be a surprise tour for them, so Rob was bound to silence. No matter what Harm had tried to get a glimpse at what they were about to do today, Mattie's friend had kept his promise and said nothing. Harm only wished he were as patient as Mac. She didn't seem at all bothered by the fact that they didn't know what Mattie had planned for them.

Harm knew he was doing a poor job hiding that he was disappointed not to see more of his daughter. He, Mac, and Ben had come up for the end-of-term celebrations, so they could take some of Mattie's belongings back to London with them. Mattie would stay on in St Andrews for another ten days after they'd returned south. Then she was to drop by in London for a few days and from there to fly back to the States and get a few weeks of Californian sun with her grandparents, before returning to Richmond for her senior year.

Harm felt guilty that he hadn't once found the time to drive up and see Mattie during the school year. It had always been her to drop by for a long weekend, more or less every six weeks. So now was the very last occasion for them to get to see a little of where Mattie had spent – it seemed – her most exciting and inspiring college year. How much this might have to do with the young man sitting behind the steering wheel, Harm had no way of knowing. But he did have his suspicions.

So he and Mac had finally gotten round to going north – and had hardly been able to meet with Mattie at all. Since they had arrived the day before yesterday, she had almost constantly been busy with something or other, leaving it up to them, mostly, to do a little Scottish sightseeing. The only thing she had in fact told them was that they would do this tour with Rob that they were currently doing.

And so far, today's activities hadn't exactly been exciting. All Harm had been able to deduce from traffic signs and conversation snippets when Mattie had once called them on Rob's cell phone, was that they were headed to some place north of Dundee. The only positive thing about the drive was that the weather was splendid and the scenery looked gorgeous, even from the car. What a waste of flying time... Harm longingly gazed outside.

About 15 minutes later, Rob left the main road and drove up a slightly bumpy narrow road that wound downhill in turns until it rather abruptly ended in front of a large gate. Harm first jumped and then stared. A sign read WELCOME TO BEN CRAIG AIRFIELD, and behind the iron bars he could indeed see a small but apparently well-built runway. Half a dozen small white private planes stood lined up on the tarmac. Harm felt he was involuntarily starting to grin. Had he ever thought they were wasting flying time?

However, what a strange thing to plan for them, by Mattie, of all people, he thought. He knew her panic attacks had lessened since she'd been seeing her therapist about her fear of small planes. But flying was still something Mattie had tried to avoid talking about during the last couple of months, begging him to understand she still needed some time to fully come to terms with it.

He had accepted her plea, of course, and the topic had been laid to rest. Harm wondered if Mattie's conscience was bothering her about avoiding what meant so much to him? If so, he and his little girl needed to do some more talking, he resolved. Still, it was a sweet thing for Mattie to do if she had really done what he suspected and organized a Highland aerial tour for them which, he was sure, would be one of the best things to do with a day like today.

Rob seemed to be a member of the club running the airfield because he only showed a club ID at the gate and was allowed onto the parking lot. They got out, stretched their limbs and savored the slight breeze coming from the hillside.

"So this is what Mattie was so secretive about this morning?" Harm asked Rob with a smile, taking a thorough look at his surroundings. "In fact, she seemed pretty excited when she left." He turned to face Rob. "Was this her idea? What exactly are we going to do anyway?"

Rob's smile was a tad too mysterious for Harm to feel at ease. "Something very special," the young man answered. "I promised Mattie not to say a word, but I'll say this much, Captain: I've done this with Mattie several times in the last months, and it's an experience to remember."

Hearing those words, Harm gaped at Rob, aghast. "Wait a minute – you're not telling me you and Mattie went flying with someone? You know her story, don't you?"

Rob's smile broadened. "Yes, she told us what she's been through, and no – we didn't go flying with someone."

Harm felt his face fall. The hope had been too sweet indeed.

"We went flying on our own, me steering and her being my RIO, so to speak. But in fact, the first time we took Hal and Pam, too."

"What?"

Apparently his expression had to be a hilarious sight because now, Rob couldn't contain his laughter – as couldn't Mac, Harm noted, confused and just a little irritated. There was something to this picture that he didn't get.

"I love seeing you at a loss for words, counselor," Mac laughed, picking little Ben up and placing the boy on her right hip. Rob excused himself and withdrew in the direction of the waiting planes.

Harm looked at his wife, his irritation half genuine. "You knew?" He didn't know what ticked him off more, the fact that Mattie hadn't told him she had apparently overcome her fear, or the fact that Mac had to have been in on the picture for quite some time.

"Yes, I did, but Mattie made me swear not to say a word unless she could be sure not to disappoint you with this." Mac had sobered slightly but was still smiling. "She did it for you, you know."

Harm was overwhelmed. He and his daughter would go flying again. Together. Cruise the skies around Mount McKinley as he had promised her back at the hospital, five years ago. "I don't know what to say," he murmured, shaking his head in happy disbelief.

Mac was all practical. "Then just say nothing and let's go. I think Rob's got a plane waiting for us."

"Remind me to thank him for making this happen," Harm said. "I'm convinced he played an important role in this."

"Be sure of it," Mac confirmed, turning to her son. "Look, Ben, daddy's going to go flying with Rob now. And we'll watch them start and land, all right?"

"You're not coming?" Harm asked, surprised.

Mac shook her head. "I'm not sure how well Ben would take the whole thing. I'd rather have him fly on a big airliner first. No experiments. Your pilot's not all that experienced, you know."

Harm lifted his eyebrows. "Mac," he said in a low voice, feeling slightly embarrassed and avoiding to glance in Rob's direction. "You don't know that. Maybe Rob's been flying for years. It's not exactly polite to voice suspicions of the kind this frankly."

"Oh, sorry." Harm noted that Mac hadn't sounded sorry at all. As a matter of fact, she was grinning widely.

What the hell was going on?

Shrugging to himself and resolving he'd investigate this matter a little more thoroughly once they'd returned, he kissed Mac and Ben goodbye and got on the plane. Rob was still standing outside, finishing the pre-flight checks. He pointed Harm to the co-pilot's seat, which he gladly took.

In front of him, Harm found a map of the area and began to study it. A minute later, he became aware that Rob had installed himself in the pilot's seat. Pondering possible flight routes, Harm didn't look up.

However, he jumped when he heard the next words being addressed to him – by a voice he knew all too well and would least have expected to hear right now.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, my name is Mathilda Grace Rabb and I'm your pilot on this flight. Fasten your seatbelts, please."

Harm's head swiveled around – and there she was: his daughter, cheeks glowing, wearing headphones and handing him another set, her hand trembling, but her expression serene and excited.

"Mattie! I don't understand..."

Her voice wasn't entirely stable when she answered. "I'll tell you the whole story later, Harm. For now, I'll just tell you that Mac helped me finance the flying lessons behind your back, and that Rob managed to make me take the initial hurdle in March. I passed my exam two weeks ago. But now let's get started, shall we? Dad?"

Harm swallowed hard. "Could you pinch me, please?" he croaked out, half laughing.

"Sure."

"Ouw!"

"You're not dreaming."

Harm rubbed his cheek, chuckling. "I guess not." Sobering, he couldn't help asking, "How did you feel when you first went up, though?"

Mattie fell earnest as well. "I wouldn't have survived the first time up if it hadn't been for Rob, Hal, and Pam. They kind of conned me into it, and they were great. Then we had a little situation upon landing because Rob had eye problems – I'll tell you later – and I all but lost it. But Rob told me he needed my assistance, and somehow, I held it together. That was the turning point. Don't ask me how that happened. It just did. That night, I decided I wanted to take up flying myself again."

"Seems that in this, you're as much my daughter as you could ever be," Harm mused, deeply moved.

"In being crazy about planes?" Mattie teased but Harm didn't pick up on her humor.

"No, I was thinking of something else. Did I ever tell you what made me get my wings back after my ramp strike? For quite some time I didn't feel like wearing them because I didn't feel I could."

"No, you didn't. What was it?"

"I went up in a Tomcat with Tom Boone, in the rear seat because I was on the Seahawk for legal business only," Harm told her, seeing the images in front of his mind's eye. "During the flight, Tom was injured and lost consciousness. It was already getting dark, and I ended up having to do a night landing on the carrier from the rear seat."

"The very thing that caused your accident..." Mattie mused. "Isn't that strange? I had to keep cool in the situation that caused my accident, too!"

"I told you: it's evident you're my daughter." Harm felt his grin turning prouder by the minute.

Mattie's smile radiated warmth. "Then it's only natural I'd do this for you, right?"

Harm put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it, profound gratitude welling up in him. "Wow, Mats, this is... how... oh, well. Later." He shook his head as if to clear it, laughing. "So, where are you taking me?"

"We'll do a round trip over Strathmore Valley," she explained. "That's the tour we made on the day that changed my life, speaking in terms of flying. If that's okay with you."

"The sky's all yours, Mattie. Take her up." Still totally dazed, Harm leaned back in his seat.

Mattie smiled at him, then turned in front and unconsciously took hold of the microphone in front of her mouth. "Ben Craig ground control, this is 5-2-1-Echo-India, requesting taxiing clearance."

Apart from Mac's vows in front of the altar or Ben's first cry, Harm thought he'd never heard anything more beautiful in his life.

*************
END CREDITS
*************
On the next JAG...

Harm gets a new job.

The Rabbs leave London.

Where will life take them? And who is to cross their path?