Title: No Pain, No Gain
Author: Ann
Rating: T-14
Disclaimers: I don't own JAG or the characters seen on JAG. I do own the original characters in this fic.
Notes: Thanks to Bree for hosting the Virtual Season, to Steph for the artwork, to Kim for the many hours of discussion of physical therapy on AIM, to my wonderful beta-readers who catch my typos, and to Laura, who came up with some of the commercials. Feedback is always welcome at aerm1@aol.com.
AN: Britney Spears was photographed wearing a hat that said "MILF in Training" shortly before she announced her pregnancy. If you don't know what a MILF is, consult American Pie or the nearest teenager.

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Previously on JAG: In the series finale, Harm and Mac got engaged, then tossed a coin to determine where they'd go. In the VS, it came up heads, and Harm went to London and Mac went to San Diego for a few months in Episode 1. In tonight's episode, it's June, 2005 as we begin. Harm and Mac are engaged, but as you read in the first VS episode, they won't get married until September. Timewise, it's concurrent with last week's episode.

Trailer
*********
1900 local
Sidewalk in front of the Bull and Crown Pub
London, England
June 17, 2005

"Lieutenant, sir, please stop hassling me." Petty Officer First Class Mary Lynne Chalmers spoke with an air of quiet authority. "If you don't, I'm going to report you to Commander Johnson."

Lieutenant Jonathan Wilson grinned at the sailor. "You know you like it, Babe. You're just scared you'll get in trouble." He reached out and ran his hand up and down her arm. "I can make sure nobody knows."

She shook his hand off and turned angry eyes on him. "I'd know. It's against regulations, sir. I don't know about you, but I like my naval career. I am not going to date you. Not tonight. Not ever. Now ... leave ... me ... alone." She turned and entered the pub.

"You don't really mean that. You know you don't." He turned away, baffled by the behavior of the young woman. He was tall, blond, and good-looking. All the women he'd ever known had fallen at his feet, except for this one. Who cared about rules and regulations? Rules were made to be broken. One just had to be careful not to get caught.

1240 local
Dulles International Airport
June 17, 2005

"No, nothing to declare." Harm checked his watch for the fifth time since landing at Dulles. He had exactly three hours to get through Customs, pick up a rental car, and get to the Blacksburg Family Court for a four o'clock custody hearing. So far the process had been anything but efficient. Thank goodness he'd only brought a carry-on case. If he'd had to go through baggage claim, he wouldn't have had a prayer of getting there on time.

"Hope you enjoy your stay." The Customs agent stamped his passport and handed it back to him.

Harm gave her a nod and shouldered his bag. His long strides took him to the car rental area. Twelve forty-five. The tired lines in his face smoothed out as his fiancée came into view. A delighted grin lit his face. "Mac! I thought you weren't getting in till tonight." He reached out for her and pulled her into his arms.

Mac returned the hug, lifting her face for a kiss. "I changed my flight. I figured you might want some company on the drive to Blacksburg."

He squeezed her and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "I knew I was smart to propose to you."

"And here I was thinking I was smart for forcing your hand." Her eyes twinkled.

"You were. And I'm glad you did. Now I need to find the Avis counter so I can pick up my car." He looked around the room, finally seeing it tucked away in a corner. "Do you have luggage?"

She nodded. "Right here at my feet."

Harm let go of her and reached for her suitcase. "Shall we?"

Mac followed him to the rental counter. Fifteen minutes later, they were fastening their seatbelts in a late model Taurus. Another five minutes saw them on the road to Blacksburg.

***********

1700 local
Rehabilitation Services
St. Vincent Hospital
Blacksburg, Virginia

"Damn it!"

Harm stopped outside Mattie's door, his eyes wide at the language he heard. Turning to Mac, he whispered, "I've never heard her talk like that before."

Raising an eyebrow, Mac answered with a grin. "I bet you'll hear more of it before she's out of high school." She bit back a laugh at his horrified expression. "Harm, relax. For one thing, it's not that bad. For another, I think she may be entitled to the occasional swear word. This whole situation has to be very frustrating for her."

His posture relaxed as he nodded. "Thanks." Harm composed his features and knocked on the door frame. "Anyone home?"

"Harm?" Mattie's voice sounded strained. "Come on in."

Harm stood back to let Mac precede him into the room.

"Mac!" Mattie's squeal was ear-splitting. "Man, am I glad to see you."

"Oh?" Mac raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. I can't seem to get this scrunchie on. Can you help me?"

Mac reached for the elasticized ribbon. "You just want it at the nape of your neck?"

Mattie nodded. "Thanks. I'm still having trouble doing a lot of really simple things. Ticks me off."

"I can imagine. But think how far you've come already, Mattie." Mac finished twisting the scrunchie into place. "There you go. You do realize that you'll have to figure it out or change hairstyles, right?"

"I guess. Maybe I'll just have someone shave my head." She tilted her head to look up at them from her wheelchair. "Speaking of how far people have come, how come both of you are here?"

Harm grinned at her. "Well, since I was practically going to be in the neighborhood, Mac thought she'd stop by and see us before we take off on Sunday."

"Uh huh. Right." Mattie nervously licked her lips. "Um, how did things go this afternoon?"

"They went fine. The judge read your father's letter and listened to another impassioned speech by Mac." Harm's gaze was tender as he looked over at his fiancée. "And then she said that she agreed, gave me custody of you, and ordered that your father complete rehab before he can request visitation privileges."

"Wow. Does she know we'll be in England?"

"She does." Harm grinned. "So I guess you're mine for the long haul. Think you can stand it?"

Mattie giggled. "Yeah. I'll have Mac to help me."

Harm clutched his chest in a dramatic gesture. "You're killing me. Mac isn't going to help you. She's going to be my wife. Her first loyalty will be to me."

Mac winked at Mattie behind Harm's back. "I think he's forgetting the women's code," she mouthed at the girl.

Another giggle escaped Mattie's lips. "Thanks, both of you. I'll try not to be too much trouble."

"If you are, I'll just remind Harm that it's probably karmic payback for something he did to his mother when he was a kid."

Harm shot a glare at Mac. "Hey, whose side are you on?"

Mac cocked her head to the side as she considered her answer. "Hmm. Like Alexei, I'm on the side of the highest bidder." She grinned at both of them.

"Cute, Mac. Cute." A chuckle rumbled out of Harm's chest. He turned to Mattie. "Now, if your hair meets with your satisfaction, I have a question. Are you ready to blow this pop stand?"

Mattie's eyes lit up. "Do you mean it? I can leave right now?" She pushed on the wheel, and her wheelchair rolled closer to Harm. "I can think of nothing I'm more ready to do."

"Hang on there, Squirt. It's only a field trip. You, Mac, the physical therapist, and I are going to go pack up your stuff at your house. Then you're coming back here till it's time to leave for the airport." Harm's tone was gentle as he broke the news.

Mattie's face fell. "I should have known it was too good to be true."

Mac knelt down at eye level with the girl. "Mattie, listen to me. The PT is going with us to see how well you can do on your own or with just Harm's help. And she'll show us just what we need to do to help you. You know we're sort of new at this."

Mattie snorted bitterly. "Yeah. Me too."

Harm sat down on the side of the bed. "Mattie, I know you're sick of being here. No one will be happier than I will when I have to tell you to get off the phone and run do your homework. But for right now, it's where you need to be."

Her voice was resigned. "I know. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Mattie. Just trust me, okay?" Harm put a gentle hand on her arm. "We're going to get through this together."

She nodded.

"Now, can I tell the PT we're ready to go?"

"Sure." Mattie's face brightened. "If I'm good, can we at least get take-out for dinner? Maybe have a pizza delivered?"

Mac smiled. "Works for me." She nodded at Harm and he left the room. Turning back to Mattie, she smiled. "Now, tell me how you really are."

Mattie gave a twisted grin. "Honestly, I'm so much better than I thought I'd ever be when I first woke up, I guess I shouldn't complain. But I'm so far from what I used to be like, I can hardly stand it sometimes. It's frustrating as hell."

Mac bit her lips to keep from smiling. "Better watch that language around Harm, young lady. He already had a heart attack when he heard you say 'damn.'"

They were interrupted by the arrival of Harm and the physical therapist.

"Mac, this is Susan Woodford. Susan, this is my fiancée, Lt. Colonel Sarah Mackenzie."

"It's nice to meet you, Susan. And it's Mac." Mac held out a hand, noting that the woman reminded her of every woman Harm had ever flirted with.

"It's a pleasure, Mac. I hope you all understand the necessity for this supervised visit." She smiled warmly at the group in the room. "If Harm is going to try to take Mattie to England in two days, I think we all need to be sure that he knows what he's doing."

"Absolutely. I'm not totally stupid."

Mattie laughed up at him. "True. Not totally. How long did it take you to propose to Mac?"

Mac choked on a laugh as Harm replied, "You might want to remember I decide how much allowance you get, young lady."

Harm looked around the room and rolled his eyes. Mattie's bed was a foot deep in clothing, sweaters and jeans mingling with tee-shirts and shorts. At least she didn't have many dresses. He had a feeling they were going to have to ship most of the girl's belongings to London.

Mac must have read his mind. "Harm, I think if we ask her really nicely, we might get Harriet to pack the winter stuff up and get it to UPS over the next few months."

His left eyebrow went up half an inch. "You really think she'll have time with all those kids?"

Mac shrugged. "Why not? She can get AJ to help her."

"Hey! I don't want that little terror messing with my stuff!" Mattie's tone was indignant.

Harm considered her comment. "Hm ... I guess we could just send it all to Goodwill and find a school in London that requires uniforms. What do you think?"

Mattie shook her head slowly. "I think I give in."

"Good choice." Mac and the physical therapist exchanged smiles. "Since you can only take a couple of suitcases, what do you want to go now?"

Susan broke in. "Be sure to wear a dress on the plane, Mattie."

The girl grimaced. "I hate dresses, Susan."

"Okay. Wear a skirt. But wear one of the two. You really don't want to wear slacks."

"Why not?" Mattie's expression was mulish.

"Because it's a long flight. And sooner or later, you're going to need to go to the restroom."

"Oh." Her eyes wide, Mattie nodded. "Gotcha."

The therapist grinned. "It'll be a lot easier to manage a skirt when your guardian is the only one around to help you."

Harm breathed a sigh of relief. One more hurdle had been crossed. Heaven only knew how many more there would be.

"Which reminds me. Let's practice that now."

"What!" Harm's voice cracked on the word.

"Yes. No time like the present. Might as well find out now." Susan smiled at the expression on his face. "Come on, people."

"Yes, ma'am." Harm turned to follow them out of the room. Thank goodness the old farmhouse had wide doorways for the wheelchair.

Mac returned to the task of separating Mattie's clothes into two piles: those that would go with her to London and those that would go to Harriet.

********

"Okay. Captain..."

"Harm." He grinned at her.

Susan shook her head. "Right. Anyway, you need to help Mattie stand. She has enough strength in her upper body to hold onto something for balance, but you're going to have to help her get positioned. It's easier on everyone if you hold onto the gait belt. Don't pull on her hands or arms. You pull. She pushes."

"Right. This is coming back to me." Harm leaned forward and down to put his arms beneath hers and take hold of the belt, allowing Mattie to grab the arms of the wheelchair. "Ready?"

"Yeah." Mattie sucked her upper lip in between her teeth.

"On three then. One, two, three." Harm helped her out of the wheelchair. He stood there a minute, conscious of Mattie's determination as she clutched at his forearms.

"Good job. Now here's the tricky part. And it will be especially tricky in an airplane." Susan pointed out the three steps that had to be covered between their position and the commode. "You have to get Mattie so that she's able to sit down." She proceeded to guide them through the process. "All right. You did well. Now let's do it again."

"What!" This time, Mattie and Harm spoke in unison.

"You heard me. Do it again. I want to be confident you all can do this without me."

"Whatever." Mattie sounded less than enthusiastic.

"Mathilda." Harm glared at her.

"Sorry. I'll be good." Mattie's tone was slightly less surly.

"Thank you." He grinned down at her. "Remember, practice makes..."

"Don't finish that, Harm." Mattie sighed. "Let's get going. I want that pizza."

***************

2200 local
Blacksburg, Virginia
Mattie's house

They were seated on the living room sofa, soft music playing in the background. After Harm and Mattie's lessons on transfers to and from the wheelchair, they had eaten pizzas and breadsticks, then taken Mattie and Susan back to the hospital. Worn out from jet lag and packing, Mac and Harm had collapsed on the couch seconds after returning to the house.

"Mmm. I could get used to this." Mac snuggled closer to Harm, practically burying her face in his shirt.

He tightened his hold on her. "Used to what? Being together or being in Blacksburg packing Mattie's clothes and other assorted paraphernalia?"

"Both." Mac pulled her head back to look up at his face. "I think she's doing pretty well, all things considered."

"She is. To be honest, I'm amazed at her resiliency. God, Mac. I was so scared when she first got hurt. You have no idea..."

"Yes, I do."

He cocked his head. "How?"

"Because you wouldn't talk to me about it." Mac stroked his chest with one hand. "You know, I think that's something we need to work on."

"What? Me not talking to you?" Harm nuzzled his chin along the top of her head.

"No. Us not talking to each other about things we're upset or worried about."

"Okay. Who knows? Maybe after five or ten years, we'll even be able to do it."

She smacked his chest. "Real funny."

"I thought so. Now, let's think about something even more important."

"What?"

"This." And he leaned down to kiss her.

1900 local
British Airways Flight #216
Somewhere above the Atlantic Ocean
June 18, 2005

Mattie looked around the first class cabin and smiled happily. "This is pretty sweet, Harm."

"Hey, only the best for my favorite ward." He grinned down at her. "Just don't get the idea that you'll always be flying first class. This is in deference to your current need for space and a place to lie down."

"I know. Still, you have to admit that this pretty cool. I mean, my choice of movies, video games, etc."

"Hmm. I could have sworn that I was told you still have to get caught up in chemistry and geometry."

She grimaced. "I do. But there is no getting around the fact that I did get finished with all my other classes. You should be impressed."

"I am, Mattie, I am." His tongue peeked out between his teeth as he grinned. "But since we have all this time right now, it seems like a good time to do some math."

"Sorry, Harm. I don't do math on Saturday nights." Her eyes danced with mischief.

"And just what do you think you should be doing on Saturday night?"

She gave a tiny shrug. "Well, four months ago, I'd have been going to a movie with Kevin or a party with my friends. Now..."

"You're stuck with an old man like me."

"Exactly. Mac doesn't seem to think you're old, though. Neither did Susan. In fact, I think she kind of liked you. If Mac hadn't been there, she might have flirted with you."

Harm shook his head. "Mattie, you're a nut."

"Yeah, but I'm your nut."

"This is true. Now, what do you want to watch till they feed us?" He leaned over to look at the choice of movies on her screen.

*************

1730 local
King's College Hospital Rehabilitation Unit
July 1, 2005

The pencil that Mattie had been trying to pick up went skittering across the table before rolling onto the floor. "Damn it all to hell!" A quick swipe of her arm sent her math book flying after it. "Damn, damn, damn!"

"Power down, Mats." Harm entered the room, a concerned look on his face. "What's the matter?"

"What's the matter? Nothing. Nothing's the matter. At least nothing you could understand." Angry tears threatened to spill from her eyes. She looked around for her reacher.

"I'll get it." Harm picked up the pencil and the textbook and laid them on the table. He pulled up a chair and straddled it. "You want to talk?"

Mattie drew a shaking arm across her eyes. "What difference would it make? You can't understand what I'm going through right now."

Harm sighed. "What makes you say that?"

"Look, Harm, I wanted to be like you. Obviously, I failed."

"Oh, I don't know. I think you'd be surprised at just how much like me you are."

"Yeah, right. You fly planes. I'm stuck here in rehab because I crash them." She looked away.

Harm put his finger beneath her chin and turned her head so she faced him again. "Mattie, I've been where you are." He gave a rueful grin. "Well, not exactly where you are. I was at Bethesda, not King's College, but I was in rehab after a crash."

"No way." Mattie looked skeptical. "You're like the best pilot I've ever seen."

"You haven't seen that many pilots." He swallowed hard. Almost 15 years later it was still difficult to talk about it. "I never told you why I quit being a pilot, did I?"

"No."

"I didn't have a choice. I got an eye infection that affected my vision. I couldn't see well enough to land a plane at night."

"Oh. That sucks."

"Yeah. Well, unfortunately, I didn't realize it until I was coming in for a trap in a storm."

"A trap? Like on a carrier?"

"Yeah. The deck was pitching, and I could barely see the ball. I was coming in low, and the LSO was yelling, 'Power! Power!' My RIO panicked and ejected us over the ramp."

Mattie felt a lump in her throat. "Oh, God, Harm. What happened?"

"What normally happens when you eject too low. The plane crashed into the deck and became a giant fireball. Mace, my RIO, got sucked into the flames. I was luckier. I landed on the deck."

Her eyes widened. "So then what happened?"

"I spent several weeks in the hospital while they put my legs back together. Spent a couple of months in a wheelchair."

"A wheelchair? Is that why you said it was coming back to you?"

"Yeah. Only from the other side. Broken femurs don't work too well with crutches, especially when you've broken the other leg too."

"Ouch." She bit her lip. "So then what?"

Harm shifted positions. "So then there was the Board of Inquiry. I went to that in the wheelchair."

"Why was there a Board of Inquiry?"

"SOP when someone dies, Mattie. There were those who thought it was pilot error."

"Sounds like it was RIO error to me."

Harm hunched a shoulder. "Maybe. It still didn't change the fact that my RIO was dead. If I had known about my eyes, I'd never have gone up that night."

"I know what you mean. If I'd known it was going to snow, I'd have canceled that flight lesson." She looked at him, a question in her eyes. "Killing someone sucks, doesn't it?"

"Yes, it does. But you didn't kill anyone, Mattie. You weren't at the controls."

"Somehow, it doesn't feel that way. I mean, I was the one who wanted the lesson."

He nodded. "I know. And I know it hurts. But with time, it will become easier."

"Good. Now tell me that with time rehab gets easier."

An eyebrow went up. "I thought you didn't want me lying to you."

"I don't."

"Then I can't tell you that rehab gets easier. Once it starts to get easy, they up the ante. Haven't you noticed that by now?"

"Yeah." She frowned at her guardian. "It's so frustrating sometimes. I think I'm making progress, and then I do something dumb like miss the pencil and send it rolling off the table."

He squeezed her hand. "I know. But you really are making progress. You missed hearing the doctor say you might be paralyzed from the neck down. All things considered..."

"It could be a lot worse."

"Exactly. Now, what would you say if I told you I can spring you for dinner?"

"I'd say let's go." A wide smile lit up her face.

**************
Part 2