Harm stood to the side as he watched Mattie work out between the parallel bars. She was doing so well getting her mobility back a little at a time and the doctors were hopeful for a 90% recovery. Of course, that was with a lot more therapy and taking it easy. Mattie and the words 'taking it easy' really didn’t belong in the same sentence.

The same went for his wife and their quest to have a baby. Another disappointment this morning had left Mac in a funk that he knew to steer clear of for a few hours. He just wished that she would let him in some and share the pain instead of the two of them hurting alone. It was just getting worse with every month that went by.

The disappointments with their quest were starting to make it hard to be happy for Mattie and her victories. The only thing that kept him going at times was how excited Mattie would get when she was able to stand a little longer without crutches, or be able to go an entire day where she didn’t need to fall back and use her chair.

It then hit Harm that he really hadn’t seen the chair in a week or so. Shaking his head he was beginning to think back over the summer and how much his job ate up his time. Hell, last weekend he came in to find some pictures on the table and discovered that Mac and Mattie were seeing the sites that he wanted to show them, or at least see with them.

Turning back into the hallway, he headed back out the door to work.

Same time
London Street Side Café

Mac sat lost in thought at the little place that was slowly becoming her haven to hash over the emotions she just couldn’t share with Harm. She knew that she was hurting him but these emotions were just too raw to share.

How do you explain to someone that you feel like a failure? How do you live down that there is something wrong with you and that this problem is causing you to keep from getting pregnant? That thanks to your body that you have wasted money for nothing, I mean what kind of woman must you be if you can’t get pregnant?

It doesn’t matter that your mind understands the reason, but it then adds to those thoughts that maybe you deserve what you have.

Is someone trying to tell you that you don’t deserve to be a mother? There has to be some reason why you can’t get pregnant. It must mean something for you to get a disease that will keep you from adding to the population. Keep you from a dream that is nearly drowning you. The dream of a cherub that is a part of you, someone to love and care for, a little person to shower with all the things you wanted as a child. A child with the man you love.

Moreover, here you sit, alone. Knowing that there is no one else out there who can feel your pain. That every person who walks by proudly pregnant makes you want to scream at the injustice that you're feeling. That you pray that another woman never gets pregnant so that you aren’t alone in Hell.

How no one knows the sting of sitting there seemingly happy for them, when they make that glowing announcement they just found out that they're pregnant.

Then there is the liquor store across the street.

Commercial Break
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Coming soon to a theater near you

Rocky VI

Rocky vs. his nursing home roommate

A battle to see who gets the window bed

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August 30th, 2006
Local Park

Harm finally spotted her sitting under a large tree on the edge of the park.

"May I join you?"

Mac’s tear stained face looked up at him, and without even waiting for her answer he joined her. "How are you feeling?"

"How am I feeling?" She asked, "I'm feeling just great."

"Are you now? I know that you had a run in with Kate when you went by the embassy."

"Did Kate come running to you about how I didn’t seem happy to see her?"

"No, Jen was there and saw what happened and called me. Of course all she said was that you and some female commander had some words and that she saw you leaving in tears."

"Did she tell you everything?" Mac sniffled

Harm sighed, "She didn’t have too. I saw Kate last month when I was in Naples."

"So you knew she was pregnant and didn’t tell me?" Mac exploded at Harm as she scooted away to get a good look at him.

"I knew you wouldn’t take it well."

"Humph. Take it well? Take it well? You think that I can’t handle the news that one of your ex-girlfriends is having a baby? Gee thanks, Harm."

Harm bit his lip as he considered his next words, "Sarah, I know that any other time in our lives you could handle anything but right now and with all of this baby business I knew the last thing you wanted to hear was that Kate was pregnant."

Mac looked away, knowing that he was telling the truth.

"It hurts me, too, you know. It's us going through all of this, you're not alone. And I'm sure that Kate saw through the fake smile I put on when I found out and wished her the best, especially when she started teasing me about us having a houseful of girls and with my luck they would all be Marines."

Mac started to cry again, and fell into Harm’s embrace.

"Honey, I know we both want to have a baby, but if it's going to split us apart then I think it's time to rethink all of this."

"You want to stop trying, don’t you?" Mac whispered as closed her eyes and guilt flooded her over what she was costing Harm.

"I want us to sit down and talk about where we are with our options. I think that you need a break from all of the trying and we need a break to just be a couple without worrying if it's time for your next shot or when I need to leave a sample somewhere." Harm pulled her even closer, "I want to make love to my wife and know that we're doing it to show that we love each other. Not because we have to because the surge stick says it's time."

"I also don’t want you to feel anything but loved. There will be no guilt over this Mac. If anyone should feel guilty it is me."

"What?"

"I should have been stronger a few years ago, and if I had been then we would have gotten together a long time ago, and we would be trying for number three or four."

"Don’t go there, Harm. We can’t go back and rehash the could have's and would have's."

"I’ll stop feeling guilty if you will stop feeling like you're costing me something. If you haven’t figured it out yet, all I need is you by my side and the world is warm and sunny."

The dark places in her heart wanted to believe him. "Even here in London?" Mac whispered.

Seeing that he was getting through, Harm raised her chin to look into her eyes, "Yes, even here in London."

"Harm, I really want to try one more time. If this one doesn’t work, we'll take a break."

"One more time Mac, and then we take a break till January. After the New Year, we'll revisit our options and maybe look at some new ones." He felt her nod and hug him closer as she started to cry again. He just sat there holding her as she finally let the pain of the past year go.

September 1st 2006

"So where are you two going?"

"Just some place away from here." Harm replied to Mattie as he carried their overnight bags to the door.

"Like that tells me anything Harm." Mattie said shaking her head.

"I planned this last month for our anniversary and I don’t want to spoil anything for Mac. She needs a fun weekend away."

"Okay. What time is Jen due over since you don’t seem to think that I can be on my own for a few days?"

Harm glared at her as Mac walked in the front door. "I take it we're going somewhere?" she said pointing at the waiting bags.

Mattie jumped in before Harm could, "Ya, old Harmy here wants to drag you away for your anniversary."

Mac could only laugh as Mattie patted Harm on the back, as she grabbed her crutches and headed off to her bedroom.

"Surprise." Harm said as she walking into his waiting arms.

"Thank you." She kissed him, "Where are we going?"

"To Brighton for the weekend to celebrate our anniversary" He said kissing her again.

"How long have you had this planned?" Pleased that he remembered it without hints.

"Since your birthday when you told Mattie you would like to go there. And when I knew when our last set of procedures would be done."

"So since I am to be still all weekend you wanted to take me away for a romantic weekend?"

"I just want to sit by the fire with you and enjoy your company. That to me is a romantic weekend with a short stroll along the beach and a quiet dinner for two as we watch the sunset."

"I still don’t know what I did to deserve you."

"Ditto."

October 10th 2006
Rabb Residence
London England
Kensington District

Harm was pacing the kitchen floor back down to its foundation as he worried over Mac. He knew that if the tests came back negative that it would take them back to her shutting him out.

Harm jumped when the phone rang and could only watch as Mattie answered it.

"Yes…no she isn’t…He is…What time…I will tell them…thanks…" She hung up the phone and twisted around to face him, "That was the clinic, they said they have been calling Mac since noon but her cell keeps going to voice mail."

"They gave you a time?"

"Ya, something about a follow up appointment for her lab work. They said be there at 9:30. And they said that they couldn’t say any more since Mac is the patient. I think that sucks since this affects both of you."

"That's just the way of things Mattie. It took me a day before the nurses taking care of you realized that I had your medical power of attorney."

"Where do you think Mac is?"

"I don’t know where it is but I know she has a coffee shop she hangs out at after all of her appointments when she goes alone."

"And how do you know that Sherlock?"

"She pays for them on our debit card. There's a charge for 5.62 pounds at Benny’s Coffee Café."

Mattie was about to say something else when Mac walked in the door and prayed that Harm wouldn’t pounce on her about not telling them where she was. It was hard because she wanted to pounce on Mac for scaring them too.

Harm took a deep calming breath while walking over to her, "Are you okay?"

Not trusting herself to say anything, she shook her head no. She knew Harm wanted to pull her close and ward off the depression that was over taking her but instead she dodged his embrace and headed to their bedroom to change.

She felt their eyes on her as she left the room.

"I don’t think I've ever seen her hurt that badly."

Harm’s gaze never left the hallway where his had wife disappeared. "I have," but this time I can comfort her, if she’ll let me.

"I’ll scrounge up something up for dinner."

Harm turned around and saw the tears rolling down the young girl's face. "Thanks, Mattie."

Harm and Mac’s Bedroom

Harm found her sitting on the edge of the bed. He walked over and joined her.

"Did you talk to the clinic?"

"Why did I need to hear from them? I started spotting just as I arrived there for my appointment so I saw no need to torture myself with Joan’s voice one more time telling me that we'll see you in a few days."

"They called here just before you walked in. They want to see us in the morning to talk over something. I didn’t get anymore than that since Mattie took the call."

Trying to keep her composure and accepting what fate planned for her, she turned to Harm, "I am through with this Harm. I know that I begged for this last chance but after today I just can’t stand it anymore. The knowing that the past two times we actually conceived, that for all intents and purposes we had babies put back in me and then to have to deal with the fact that my body wouldn’t accept them has just…"

Harm took her into his arms and held her as the pain of the last year finally came to a point. He felt as she did and knew that it would be a long time before they broached the subject of other alternatives. They both needed to heal from this last blow.

"What ever you want Mac, I'll be right beside you."

October 11th 2006
The Centre for Women’s Health
Dr Taylor’s office
930am local time

Harm held Mac’s hand in his as she sat stoically waiting for the doctor to come in. It had been a long night of just holding and reassuring each other that they would make it through.

Dr Taylor walked in and sat down with a smile, "How are you this morning, Sarah?"

"Fine, I guess." Mac answered getting irritated with the doctor’s good mood.

He looked at them a little strangely, as he tried to figure out their mood, "I figured that you would be happier?"

"Why?"

Taylor looked perplexed at the couple, "Did Joyce not call you yesterday?"

"If she did she got my voice mail. I just wasn’t into hearing her tell me again that it didn’t work."

Harm spoke up, getting a little irritated, too. "All we got was a phone call telling us to meet with you this morning."

"Bloody Hell, I am going to have to shoot that woman. Your test came back positive. It worked."

Stunned, Mac forgot to breathe as Harm shot the doctor a look that said you better not be pulling my leg.

"Your blood work showed a rise HGC, and I wanted to test you again today to see how much higher it has gotten. The level I saw yesterday sometimes indicates twins, but you never know for sure until we do an ultrasound."

"But she was spotting yesterday, and she has felt like her period has been coming on for the past four days?"

"That isn’t that uncommon. The spotting was it heavy?" He asked Mac.

Still unable to speak she shook her head no.

"Well, then unless it gets heavier or continues more than a few days then come back. I would just chalk it up to your child causing some trauma from embedding in the lining of the uterus."

"When will you do an ultrasound?" Harm inquired as he squeezed Mac’s hand. She immediately squeezed back and he thought she was going to break it as tight as she was holding it.

"With most cases, I wait till the sixth week. We should be able to see a heartbeat and know how many little Rabb’s will be joining us next June."

The smile that finally found its way to his face made the doctor chuckle. He felt for this couple and was glad that after trying so hard that they finally were pregnant.

"I will leave you alone for a few minutes and then Karen will come and do another blood draw." He said standing up and taking Harms offered hand.

"Thank you, Doctor."

Harm looked at Mac, "Are you ever going to breathe again, Marine?"

"A lifetime of unlimited baby sitting."

"Excuse me?"

Mac started to laugh. "It’s what Mattie is going to owe us once she realizes she lost our bet, a lifetime of babysitting."

"I don’t think that I want to know about the bet."

"Just like I really don’t want to say anything until we pass the three month mark."

"What about Mattie? Because I don’t think that you're going to be able to get rid of the smile on my face till June."

"Okay but we wait till the ultrasound in two weeks. I want to be sure that everything is okay."

"Deal. But I can still do this," he said pulling her up from the chair and spinning her around until both of them were dizzy and laughing.

October 25th 2005
The Centre for Women’s Health
Ultrasound Room
1600 local time

Harm sat behind Mac as the tech prepared the wand for the first look at their baby. He was right about his smile; there was no way in the world it was going to disappear from his face unless they got bad news. And he just couldn’t believe that fate would be that cruel now.

Mac was counting to one hundred in Farsi as she tried to stop thinking about the nausea that was starting up. Every day at four pm on the dot since last week, she got sick to her stomach and then just felt totally wasted.

The tech answered the door when Dr. Taylor rapped on it, "You two ready?"

"Well, let’s see what we have here." He asked aloud as he told Mac that he was inserting the wand. After a few seconds of staring, Harm was certain that nothing was there but then the doctor pointed out a small peanut like thing on the screen.

Mac didn’t need any explanation of what she was seeing, months of Internet searching and reading taught her that she was looking upon her child.

"Is that the heartbeat?" She asked.

"Yes, it is."

"How many?" Finally came from Harm as he found his voice from awe of it all.

"Only one of the three looks like it implanted but that’s okay."

"Oh it's more than okay." Harm nearly shouted out and got a strange look from Mac. "I mean I'm more than happy with just one. I wish that they had all implanted but…"

Mac reached up, put her hand over his mouth to stop his rambling, and could only smile as Harm tried to dig himself out of a hole he wasn’t really in. She understood completely. They would take what ever they got and were ready to spoil him or her.

The doctor took a few more shots of the new Rabb and then left them alone so that Mac could get dressed.

"My looks and your brains? Or your looks and my brains?" Mac asked as she put on her pants."

"I really can’t say that I care one way or the other as long as they are healthy." He then got up and kneeled before her, "But I can promise you this, I will love them and you forever."

"And you always keep your promises."

She then leaned over to kiss him and he pulled her tight against him.

Eight Months Later
Area Hospital
June 20th 2007

Fate smiled as two people, so much in love added to it as they held their son for the first time.

And this chapter fades to black.

End credits
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And for next week

Mattie deals with rehab and the stress of learning to walk again.
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