Title: Living for the Weekend

Author: TC Amlin

Classification: Humor

Disclaimers: All of this is just borrowed, CBS and DB owns them and only shares

Spoilers: This is part of the VS 2002.

There is a nod or two to other JAG pals of mine and a special thanks to my beta reader Lisa

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jag HQ

Monday 8/19/02

0820 EST

Harm rubbed his head absently as he and Mac entered the elevator. "Stop that, Harm. You don’t want to get that stitched up again, do you?"

"No. I just wish that it would quit itching."

"Well, I want my arm to quit hurting, too, but, as the doctor said, it will be a few days," Mac answered back tersely. She glared at Harm for a second longer, and then faced front as she mimicked his words from the weekend, "Come on Mac, it is an easy thing to do, won't take much time." She ran out of breath just as the elevator opened to reveal the Admiral. "Sir."

"Colonel, Commander." He said as he looked over his two top aces. The aviator with a bandage across his forehead barely covering his black eye and the proud Marine whose arm was in a sling with the wrist wrapped up.

His perusal was reciprocated by the couple as they saw his right foot with the big toe as black as night contained by the foot cast.

"Bad weekend, Commander?"

"You could say so, sir. You, Sir?" Harm asked as he looked down at AJ's foot again.

"You could say so, Commander."

The trio walked in to the bullpen and headed to their respected offices. "And Commander, keep your hands from your face."

"Aye, aye ma'am."

Opening credits

Big Brother Down Under – The houseguests learn the proper way to handle a Hoover when a special guest joins them for the day.

JAG HQ

Friday 8/16/02

1800 EST

"Harm, I don’t want something that big!"

"Come on, Mac. Bigger is better."

"Commander! Size isn’t everything," Mac said as she punched the elevator button.

"Problems, Colonel? Commander?"

Both Mac and Harm jumped when AJ asked them the question, "Uh, no sir. The Colonel and I are just have a disagreement on size." Harm answered and then realized what he said as Mac glared at him. "The size of a bookcase I'm building her this weekend."

"You're brave, Mac, if you are letting him near power tools in your home," Sturgis said as he joined them.

"Tell me about it. Ever since I told him he could help me, he has gone crazy."

Harm decided to veer the heat from him, "SO, sir, what are you doing this weekend?"

AJ looked at Harm with a knowing look, "Some SEAL buddies and I are going camping"

"Sounds like fun, Admiral," Sturgis responded back.

"Anything beats your weekend plans, Sturgis."

"And just what are my plans?"

"If the woman of your life is busy then it goes like this. Tonight he will gather his laundry and set it by the door. He will clean his bedroom after dinner. Tomorrow he will run from seven to nine and then shower. Grab a book and his laundry and head to the laundromat to wash. Two hours later he returns to fix lunch. After lunch, he will clean the kitchen from head to toe and do the same to the living room. Fold and iron his clothes for the week. Sunday will be spent with his dad and whatever case he's on."

Mac and AJ tried to hide their amused look as Sturgis tried to shrug off Harm's description of his weekend especially since everyone knew that Bobbie was out of town. "Smart Ass," he muttered as the four of them entered the elevator.

Friday Night, 8/17/02

Home Depot

2000 EST

"How about this color, Mac?" Harm asked for the umpteenth time with a color he knew she wouldn’t pick in a million years. He knew she was playing with him but he was getting tired and just wanted to get home before the store closed.

Mac just looked at the card and pondered for a moment. The color she wanted was on one of the first cards but frustrating Harm had become a priority since he was driving her nuts over this bookcase. "Nah. That really doesn’t match anything in my place."

"Well, then, I guess, we will just have to leave the wood a natural color. Won't we?"

"Harm, it's particle board. I want some color."

"Then pick something, woman, and let's go eat."

"Are you buying?"

"If you pick something soon, then, yes, I will buy dinner,” he started, "but I get to pick the place."

Mac acted like she was really pondering the situation, then picked a light sandy brown color along with a nice olive green for the trim and headed to the paint counter.

Harm blew out a breath and followed her shaking his head. “Hey Mac, while you wait here for the paint, I’ll go get the lumber we picked out a few hours ago.”

“Harm, it was 36 minutes ago and whatever you want. I’ll just meet you at the check out counter okay?” Mac replied back.

Harm gave her his special smile, nodded and walked off. Mac, on the other hand, blew a stand of hair out her face. “A small book shelf was all I said and now we have a major construction project. I swear I will never understand men and their need to show off their manliness. Ugh.”

A young blonde teenager interrupted Mac. “Can I help you ma’am?”

Smiling at him, “Yes, I need a gallon of each of these colors. Please.”

A few aisles over

“Come on, ma'am, it won't be that big of a problem. Just a few hours in the back yard and then some and AJ will have a great new swing set slash play house.”

“Tiner, just how much carpentry have you done?”

“I’ve done some stuff with friends.” He shrugged.

“And did you use a nail gun with them or a power saw?”

“Come on now, Ma’am. I’m just trying to do something nice while the Lieutenant’s away.”

Harriet looked at the Petty Officer with some trepidation. She really wanted the swing set slash castle fort up, before Bud got home so AJ could have something to play on while she gardened. “Fine then Tiner. Grab that box of nails and let’s go. I’ve got to pick up AJ from the sitters by 9.”

“You won’t regret this, Ma’am.”

~~~~Break~~~~

CBS Movie of the week advertisement

~~~~Break~~~~

Monday 8/19/02

JAG HQ

AJ hobbled to his office cussing silently, ‘why can’t they make a comfortable shoe for broken toes.' He automatically spat out, “At east.” To Tiner and then when he saw Tiner’s hand. “What happened to you?”

“Nail gun, sir.”

“Excuse me? A nail gun?”

“I was helping out Lieutenant Sims this weekend sir with Little AJ’s castle.”

“And?” AJ prodded on.

“He was busy nailing boards when my son came up and grabbed him from behind.” Harriet said as she came into drop off some files and heard AJ’s question.

“I jumped sir and nailed my hand to the castle.”

“And I was able to cut through though the board with the power saw.”

“Just a few hours in the ER and a titnus shot.” She didn’t mention her return trip the next day to get a giant splinter pulled out of her six after little AJ tripped her and she fell on top of the pile of logs still there to make the castle.

“I see.” AJ said as he looked from Harriet to Tiner. Deciding that he had heard more than enough, “Do I have any appointments today?”

“Uh, yes sir. The weekly staff meeting at 900 in the conference room, the Sec Nav at 1100 and then Admiral Coffin at 1300.”

“Thank you Tiner, carry on.”

Flashback

Saturday Morning

KIKI’s Laundry Mat

1034 EST

Sturgis was cussing the fact that it raining, that his dad had called twice about Sunday dinner, and that he was out of quarters with one load life to dry.

Deciding that he could combine a few loads he started moving clothes from one dryer to the other when he whacked his left elbow down hard on the coin slot sticking out. “Damn it!”

“You okay, Mister?” a young boy asked.

“Yes, son, I’ll be fine. Thanks for asking.” He returned as he tried to rub the pain away only making things worse.

“Okay then, mister, but that sounded like some crack to me when you hit that thing.”

“Tell me about it.”

The boy ran off and Sturgis leaned over to pick up the clothes that he dropped and nearly yelped as he straightened his left arm. Bringing the arm back across his chest, he used his right hand to finish picking up his clothes.

After getting all settled, he was about to head next door to the Quix Stop when he remember he didn’t bring any extra change. He finally decided to see if they would give him some ice for his elbow and aloud to no one, “You know, Harm, I think you cursed me. I just hope that Marine of yours pays you back this weekend."

Georgetown

Mac’s Apartment

Mac leaned over to finish stretching. A good run was what she needed as Harm began his project. Note to self ‘never let that pig-headed Flyboy know you want to build something’… at least while you are in town. Seeing that it was about to rain, she headed up the stair and was rewarded to hear that, for now, the power saw had quit. Of course, that could be a bad thing, so she opened the door to see Harm leaning over to examine his plans spread out over the floor. A broad mischievous grim broke out over her face as she decided to sneak up on him.

“Hey Sailor!” she yelled as she pounced on him.

The Roberts Place

Same time

Tiner sighed, good thoughts and all, this was a pain. The instructions were somewhere in the house, thanks to little AJ and Tiner had forgotten how many times he had to stop when AJ ran by him as he was using the nail gun.

“How are coming along, Jason?”

“Almost finished with the swing set part. Might be all I get up if it starts raining.” Please, oh, please rain. Let her brother-in-law finish this tomorrow.

“Great. You have done so much that I think after this last bit you can call it a day. Mikey said he would be in tonight and would help finish it.”

Tiner just smiled brighter, “My pleasure, Ma’am. I just have a few more pieces here and then I’ll clean up.”

“Okay.”

Just as Harriet was turning way; “Just let Mikey know he can call me if he needs a hand.”

“Oh thanks. I will.”

Harriet turned to head to the back porch when AJ came running around the newly built swing set and bumped Tiner. All Harriet heard the nail gun go off several times and Tiner cry out in pain.

~~~~Break~~~~~

60 minutes 2 – Kangaroos, are they safe pet to have and can you afford one.

~~~~Break~~~~~

JAG HQ

Monday 8/19/02

0855 EST

Mac was hurting as she headed to the break room to get a cup of coffee. All she hoped for was that someone had made a fresh pot. She didn't see Sturgis standing there and bumped right into him.

Mac jumped back as he growled in frustration, “Sorry,” and then, “What happened to you?”

Sturgis looked at Mac’s arm in a sling, too. “I’ll tell you if you tell me Colonel?”

“Never charge a man with power tools and lumber around him.”

“Be careful doing laundry.”

“You did that doing laundry? Come one, Sturg. What did you do? Slip on your wet kitchen floor?” Harm asked chuckling as he joined them and got Mac out a cup.

“Well, at least, I didn’t get blindsided by the Marines,” Sturgis threw back at him.

Waving his hand in the air Harm answered, “I still can use both of my hands.”

“I can clobber you with my cast.”

“Guys chill or I will use my good arm on both of you.”

“So, Mac, did he finish your shelves?”

Before Mac could speak, Harm interjected, “As a matter of fact, I did, except painting them. And they look great.”

“They will look much better with paint.” ‘To cover the blood on them’, she thought.

The three of them headed down to the conference room and met up with AJ as he looked back at them, “I wonder how much the local ER’s made off this office this weekend?”

“Sir?” Mac asked as Tiner came up to them with the Admiral's coffee cup. “Never mind.” Mac said as she caught sight of his hand.

“Looks like we all partied hard, Sir.”

“Yes it does, our office looks like a Monday in the Washington Redskins locker room instead of a JAG office with lawyers in it.”

Sunday Morning

8/18/02

0600 EST

AJ scooted to the edge of his SUV and stretched. Camping was fun especially when you could sleep in the back of your vehicle with an air mattress. Looking around at the other 4 SUVs he knew that the others would sleep in, retirement had its privileges, too.

Taking a deep breath he jumped on out of the back of the SUV and got his foot caught in between two rocks, and lost his footing. With an oomph and crack, he landed on his face.

“What the hell was that?” Robert, a.k.a. Bob, Parker cried out as he popped his head out of his RV and wandered over to AJ.

“Just me, Park. I tripped.”

“Ha ha ha ha. The great Cheggie lost his footing.” Retired Admiral Butch Reading laughed.

“Thanks, Butch.” AJ said as he sat up and pulled off his shoe and watched his big toe swell up and turn black.

“How bad is it, AJ?” Park asked as he rubbed his eyes.

“Well it’s broken for damn sure and I am hoping that it is only the toe.”

“Man that looks awful.”

AJ looked up at Bob, “Do you think that you could help me up?”

“Oh, sure, AJ. Come on Butch and get your six over here.”

“I’m retired so bite me.” Butch yelled back as he zipped his tent back up on his Aztec.

“Forget him Bob. He’s always been lazy.”

“Like you weren’t, Sammy.” AJ asked as Sam Beckett found his way over to help.

“Well at least I got up. Butch is already back asleep and if I didn’t come over then Bob here would be going with you to the ER for his back so shut up and give me your hand.”

AJ glared for a second and lifted both hands with each man taking one and helping AJ back onto the tailgate of his Escalade.

Sam looked at the foot again and smiled, “AJ, that really looks nasty.”

All AJ could think was there was no way to kick Sam’s six.

Georgetown

Mac’s apartment

8/18/02

0630 EST

Mac rolled over onto her injured wrist and woke right up, “Why me? All I ask is why me?”

She rolled over and found that she was sleeping alone. Getting up was fun as she grabbed her sling from the nightstand. The doctor told her it was a small fracture and that a week or two in a splint would be enough. And that she would be able to forecast rain.

She found Harm stretched out on her couch with an ice pack on his head. "Marine you are a heavy stepper."

"Excuse me?"

"With the way my head feels I can hear every step you make and it is loud. In all my life I never had a hangover like this and I didn’t even get to drink anything." Realizing what he said, "Sorry Mac I didn’t mean to say that."

"No problem, and too bad its not a hangover, that I could fix. Fifteen stitches and a mild concussion are beyond Mac's Magical Hangover Juice."

"Just remember that next time you want to jump me, I am wearing a hard hat."

"Next time I plan on aiming for your legs so you don’t toss me across the room. And I promise to make sure that I don’t land on the board you are working on.

Harm groaned as he remembered Mac flying over his worktable, his trying to slow her fall, then her landing on the board that came flying up whacking him in the face, and knocking him out.

Mac, for her part, just remembered bracing herself with her hand and then rolling over to see Harm out cold.

Mac started laughing, "what?" Harm asked.

"Just wait till I tell Harriet that you got knocked on your six by a Marine."

Harm restrained himself with the knowledge that hurling a pillow at Mac would only make him fell worse. However, he was not above promising retribution in the future. "Just remember Marine, that as soon as I am well and your hand is better that revenge is mine."

"Bring it on Flyboy, just bring it on."

JAG HQ

Monday 8/19/02

0915 EST

Conference Room

AJ tried his best to get comfortable with his foot propped up in the chair that Tiner had somehow carried in there for him. The only amusement he got was from seeing his staff as uncomfortable as he was. Mac and Sturgis with their arms in splints, Harm trying to keep from itching his forehead and he was still trying to find out why Harriet was sitting on a pillow.

"Before we get started anyone else I should know about have an interesting weekend?"

Mac was about to answer in the negative, when Singer walked in.

Harm and Sturgis found their legal pads interesting. Harriet turned to Mac with a 'Oh My' look as Lauren sat down… with blood shot eyes and green hair.

"Lieutenant?"

"My apartment manager added too much chlorine to the pool. He didn’t put up a warning before my morning swim."

"I can call a friend of mine who owns a Salon. She might work you in at lunch." Harriet said, thinking that sometimes life is fair.

"Thank you, Harriet." Singer answered biting her tongue.

AJ did his best to give the others an intense stare with the message of not here and grabbed his notes, "Alright then, if there is nothing else, let’s get started."

Closing credits

~~~~~Break~~~~~~

Commercial

~~~~~Break~~~~~~