TITLE: GHOSTS BANISHED ~ Rewrite of Ghosts of Christmas Past

AUTHORS: Margie Harkins [maharkins@prodigy.net]

                       Bridget Walker [bridget@mrbean.net.au]
                       Pat Steiner [ssbpmn@aol.com]

SUMMARY: This picks up where Ghost of Christmas Past ended. This is a tale of happened after Jenny left Harm at the wall.

RATINGS: SSS for Harm-Mac shipper moments

DISCLAIMER: JAG belongs to CBS et al. No copyright infringement is
intended. The following is for entertainment only.

If you like this story, a note to that effect would be lovely. If you didn't, then please signify by your silence.

PART 1

As Harm stood back from the wall, and lowered his hand from the salute, the reality of what he had heard this night began to sink in. His father had taken comfort with another woman, hours before his disappearance.

The shock of this revelation, and also the affect of the wind and snow began to take its toll on Harm, and he began to shake. He knew that he should get out of this weather, but his feet didn't seem to want to move. All he could do was just stand and stare at his father's name, and the wings that lay at the bottom of the wall, and at that moment Harm wanted nothing more than to stay out here and crumble into the earth. He was so wrapped up in the thoughts that were swirling in his mind, that he did not hear the soft approach behind him. Therefore when he felt the soft hand on his shoulder he almost jumped from the shock. Then Harm heard her voice and he knew that everything was going to be okay.

"Hey Flyboy. You were supposed to meet me for supper an hour ago. You okay?" Mac felt the trembling of Harm's shoulder under her hand and immediately became concerned. She tried again.

"Harm? Can you hear me?"

Harm knew that he had to answer his Mac. Otherwise she couldn't help him, couldn't save him. With a quiet, shaky voice he answered. "Cold Sarah, so cold."

This revelation shook Mac to the core, and allowed her to take a better look at Harm. He was standing stock still, simply staring at the wall. His coat and cover were covered with a thin layer of snow, and his nose was red. It was obvious that he had been out in this weather for a long time. Once again Mac questioned Harm in the hope of making sense of the situation. She knew that he had come in order to see his father, but she had a feeling that something more had happened. "Harm?"

He once again repeated his early mantra. "Cold Sarah, I am so cold. Help me please."

Now Mac was worried, and she knew what she had to do. Wrapping her arms around Harm from behind he pulled him into the warm cocoon of her embrace, she then spoke softly against his ear. "I will help you Harm. I am going to take you back to my place okay. I am going to warm you up in front of the fire, and then we are going to talk."

Gently Mac reached out, and encompassed Harm's gloved hand with her own. She then tugged on it in order to get him moving. He stumbled, but Mac was quick on her feet, and she managed to keep him upright. She then turned him around, and pushed him in the direction of her car. Harm seemed to be walking on his own, so Mac quickly turned and faced the wall. She snapped to attention in front of the man she had helped search for in Russia. She brought her hand up in a salute, and then lowered it. Taking a step closer to the wall, she spoke. "I don't know what happened here tonight Lieutenant, but I promise I will take care of him. " With that Mac made her way over to where Harm was slumped beside her car. At the sight of Harm looking so lost, Mac rushed over and helped him back to his feet. With her free hand she opened the passenger door, and helped Harm into the seat, and reached over and fastened his seat belt into place. She then took the blanket from the back seat, and covered him. Harm in the mean time had not spoken since his plea for help at the wall. And Mac was getting more worried with every moment that passed.

She let herself into her side of the car, and fastened her belt. She then started the Corvette, and turned the heater up high. Just before she backed out of the parking lot, she leant over and cradled Harm's cheek in her hand. She then spoke softly to the man, who had done so much for her in the past. "You are going to be okay Harm. You can depend on me, and I will help you."

Mac then dropped her hand, and backed out of the lot, she headed in the direction of Georgetown and her apartment. She had a feeling that tonight was going to be very long, and very painful for the man sitting beside her.

By the time she had made the first block, warm air was filling the car and
she sensed Harm was starting to relax and thaw. Finally he leaned his head
against the side window and closed his eyes. She turned her attention to the
thick downtown traffic for a few minutes and when she turned back to look at
him she was amazed to see a lone tear on his cheek. Her mouth opened to
question him, and she bit back the urge. She knew he would tell her in his
own time, and getting him warm and dry was more important at the moment.

A long twenty minutes later she shook him awake and once again put her hand
to his cheek. "We're home Flyboy....I mean we're at my place" she stammered.

He gave her a vague nod but even by the time she had walked around to his
side, he had only begun to remove his seat belt. "Move it mister. I'm
freezing out here" she ordered.

The realization that his reticence was causing her discomfort stirred him to
action and he levered himself from the car, grateful for the fact of her
taking his arm and leading him to her apartment. He did not have to think
about anything, and right now did not want to.

She unlocked the door and quickly turned up the heat, and then the gas
fireplace logs for good measure. He started to flop into the nearest chair
and she took firm hold of his arm. "Not yet Sailor. You have a shower to
take and don't come out until you're warm. You can hand your clothes out to
me for the dryer while you're doing that; and I'll put on some coffee."

"Sorry to be such an incredible pain in the six" he moaned.

"We'll discuss payback later and you know what they say about it" she gave
him a soft smile and propelled him to the bathroom, turning on the heat lamp
and the shower at the same time. "Drop your clothes out to me."

"Hey you're wet too" he realized. "I won't stand for you nurse maiding me
and not taking care of yourself."

"Changing right now while you're in here" she assured him, "now get started."

Shortly she was stuffing a pile of wet garments into the dryer and had the
Mr. Coffee doing its job.

The water ran for a long time and her concern grew. Finally she knocked on
the door and called his name. With no answer she opened it a crack and could
hear the shower, but detected no movement behind the frosted glass doors.
"Harm are you all right?" she demanded sharply. Another pause for his
response and she raised her voice. "Harmon Rabb you've got two seconds to
answer me before I open those doors and the myth about fighter pilots it
destroyed."

"Mac I..." she finally heard him mumble. "I'm OK. Coming now." And without
thinking that she was still standing there he pushed through the doors.
"Opps" he gasped, and her face showed both amusement and embarrassment.

"Hello" she smiled, turning away quickly as she reddened, and passing him a
towel over her shoulder.

"What myth?" he asked as he quickly dried himself and then tied the towel
around his waist.

"The one about fighter jockeys being gifted" she laughed, trying to bring
some lightening to the situation.

"It's legend" he retorted and she smiled, happy to see a flash of his usual
spirit.

"If you say so" she laughed again. "Let me get your clothes before you start
parading around my apartment with your legend showing."

She passed him his now dry things through the door and waited for him to come
out, meeting his eyes as he did so and then stepping forward, bolding putting
a hand on each side at his waist. "I don't know what happened tonight, but I
do know you need to talk about it. Please don't let it fester inside."
Empowered by the fact he did not pull from her touch, she slipped her arm
around his waist and led him to the table, pulling the chair for him.

"I want to" he said softly. "I want you to know, but just you please. It
doesn't involve anyone else. In fact it doesn't even really involve you, but
I do need to talk about it." His green eyes met her dark ones. "Just let me
work into it slow OK? I mean I'm still sorting it out in my own mind--trying
to get a handle on it."

"OK" she frowned, trying to imagine what could have taken place that night
before she arrived that could have so affected him. She ran a light hand
through his hair, giving it an affectionate ruffle as she turned, intending
to pour the coffee.

"Mac." His voice was barely audible and he caught her hand, pulling her down
to the chair next to him. Once again their eyes met, and she raised her
eyebrows indicating she was listening.

"I just wanted to, well thank you for tonight. I mean when you asked me this
afternoon to have supper I wasn't real civil and thanks for understanding
it's the day and all and not personal. And now this...this other....that I'm
about to lay on you. Well I just appreciate it is all." He stopped for
breath and he squeezed her hand hard between his. "What I'm also trying to
say in my own clumsy way is that I know in the six weeks I've been back
things are not as they should be between us. I want so much to get back what
we had when I left and I'm not sure I know how, and now this...this thing and
it doesn't even really have to do with us. Only my neuroses."

"You've put up with mine plenty" she reminded him gently and then took a
breath. "I know we've been different with each other since your coming back
and I've hated it too." She pulled away from him and stood to do the coffee,
not wanting him to see her face for what she was about to say. "Harm as long
as we're being honest here--I'm expecting you to tell me what's bothering
you--you can know that your leaving tore me apart." She stopped and took a
breath. "There I've said it. I was hurt and betrayed and for a couple weeks
I was a zombie. Then I realized that I had to pull myself together or resign
my commission. So in the months you were gone I got my life and my career on
track. I was glad for you to be back. But one of the promises I made to
myself was that I was never going to allow myself to be that hurt, or
vulnerable, again."

"I think I'm understanding" he said softly, realizing what it had cost her to
admit that much.

"Harm I'm sorry" she suddenly gasped. "This is not about me. You obviously
had something happen to you tonight that you need help working through. I
shouldn't be telling you about me."

"I'm glad you did" he sighed. "I have problems with my coming back too.
That Australian...excuse me. Commander Brumby is in my office and partnered
with my...former partner. I failed at my attempt to return to my former
love, and on top of that I found out that it's not really my love any more.
JAG is where I belong. You tried to tell me a long time ago on the Coral Sea
that I couldn't go back and you were so right. Anyway, re-establishing how we
used to be able to talk is important."

She touched his hand again and busied herself with the coffee, feeling they
needed a small break from the soul bearing. "Let's take this over to the
fire" she encouraged, holding the tray with one hand and tugging his arm with
the other. She settled him on the sofa and handed him a cup, and then sat
next to him, pulling the folded blanket up over both of them.

"Mac about tonight" he began after several minutes and she saw his hand
tremble, the coffee sloshing in the cup.

"I'll take that" she smiled. "And I'm listening whenever you're ready. And
if you're not we can just sit here and wait for Santa. It's nearly midnight
anyway."

Sighing, Harm picked his coffee cup back up. He stared into the cup for a long time before starting to speak "Mac, I'm not really sure where to start my story. You know, Christmas Eve has never been easy for me. Every year I relive my dad being shot down. Did you know that requested his flight records? I used the Freedom of Information Act, so I know the time that his squadron was launched and the time he was shot down. Every year, I relive those events in my mind......I almost wish that there is some way that I could warn them as to what will happen." Looking over at Mac, he tried to give her a weak smile "Ever since I've been assigned to JAG, it has become a tradition for me to go to the Wall on Christmas Eve. I was too young to remember spending Christmas with my dad, I always envied my friends for that. I felt like yelling at them 'Do you know how lucky you are?' Well, going to the Wall is my attempt to spend Christmas with my dad." Harm stopped talking, still staring at his coffee.

Mac sensed that he wasn't going to continue right away "Harm, I've known you for a while, I know you go to the Wall every year. It's never affected you this way, what happened this year? You really scared me out there tonight. When I found you, you were nearly catatonic.....what happened?"

Taking a deep breath, Harm looked at Mac "I met a part of my dad's past. I found someone who was with him the last days of his life. I also discovered how he saved their life. It was as if fate put us both at the Wall at the same time."

"Harm, was it fate or do you think it was a Christmas gift from you dad? What did this person tell you about your dad? Was he a pilot too?"

Taking a deep breath as if to brace himself "Let me tell you the full story, Mac. It wasn't a 'he' that I met, but a 'she'. She was a singer in Bob Hope's USO Christmas Tour. Her name is Jenny Lake. .............I was standing at the Wall, just staring at his name. I was praying for and talking to my dad. I didn't hear her walk up behind me, she startled me when she spoke. She had a candle in her hand, and asked if I had a light for it. I asked who she was there for, she answered "to honor a Naval Aviator", then she said my father's name. My heart stopped for a moment, I couldn't believe my own ears. She was there for my dad, Mac. Then she looked at me, she knew who I was.....she told me that it was like seeing my father again. My dad had told her all about me.....'all about his little Harm' ." Harm's voice cracked when he mentioned his own name.

He once again lapsed into silence. Mac took the still full coffee cup from him. Taking his hand gently "Harm, you don't have to tell me this now. Why don't you just relax. How about stretching out on the bed for a little bit? If you feel up to it later, you can tell me about your meeting with Jenny Lake?"

"No Mac, I have to share this with someone. You've been the one who has always supported me on my search for my dad. You risked you life to help find him. You above everyone else, deserve to hear this." Standing, Harm started pacing in front of the fireplace "I told you she was a singer with the USO. The troupe arrived ahead of Bob Hope, the show was to be that afternoon. Turns out Bob Hope's flight was grounded, so the show was re-schedule for the next day. The Captain let the singers and band spend the night on board. He had to re-assign some of the ships officers to make room for his guests. The Captain assigned Jenny Lake and Phyllis Diller to the quarters my dad and his RIO shared. That is when they first met, but their paths crossed several times during Jenny's time on board."

Harm once again broke away from his story, and Mac once again tried to get him to stop.

"Harm, by the sounds of this, I really think that this might be too painful to share." She said, her hand resting on his forearm.

Harm scrubbed his face wearily with his free hand, and then spoke his thoughts. "To tell you the truth Mac, it is painful. Very painful. But if I was going to tell anyone in the world this story, it would be you. Only you. And right now, I have to tell you, because I don't think I can fully digest what Jenny Lake told me until I share it with you. Because after everything is said and done, you are my best friend. Always have been, and always will be."

Mac was overcome by Harm's words and knew that what he had to say must be the equivalent of life altering for him. Impulsively she stood up and came to stand behind him. She then wrapped her arms around Harm's neck and whispered in his ear. "I will always be here for you. Don't ever forget that. You have helped me so many times in the past. This is my turn to return the favour. This time I am going to help you." She then surprised them both by kissing him on the cheek before coming to sit beside him once again. Mac sat apart from Harm, giving him space to continue, but this time it was Harm's turn to surprise. He leaned over and curled his arm around Mac's waist, and hauled her to his side. At Mac's questioning gaze he simply stated. "You're my anchor."

Mac gave Harm a smile that lit up the apartment, while at the same time giving him the courage to continue.

"As I said, they crossed paths many times on board the Ticonderoga. The most important meeting was one night out on the fantail. Jenny had lost her fiance, a marine aviator the week before, and felt that she had nothing left to go on with in life. She had decided to end it all by jumping from the ship."

Mac gasped. "Are you saying that Jenny Lake was going to commit suicide?"

Harm nodded. "That is exactly what I am saying. Anyway, she ran out of there, after witnessing my father and another pilot almost crash. An incident that I had no idea about until tonight. Dad managed to track her down just before she was about to jump. He managed to coax her back over the rail. They got to talking, and Dad spoke about Mom, and I, or 'l'il Harm' as I was referred to, while Jenny spoke about her fiance, and about how she loved the part of him that made him an aviator. Before they both knew what was happening, one thing led to another, and I don't know if they were trying to find a substitute for those who they loved, but this is what stunned and upset me so much. He betrayed my mother. And from what Jenny told me, a kiss at the fantail was not the only time. My father, the man who I have looked up to all of my life betrayed my mother willingly, and then felt enough for her, to give her a part of himself, his wings. His wings. The very thing that personified who he was. I don't know what to believe anymore. Everything I have ever known, and everything I have worshipped has been a lie. And I don't think I can forgive him.

Mac turned Harm around to face her, knowing how much it cost him in pride to
admit that. "I'm not going to try to tell you what you should and shouldn't
think" she said slowly, "only that I understand what you're saying; and how
betrayed you must feel. But Harm, those were terrible times. If she gave
your father a few hours of happiness before his life turned into hell on
earth, then maybe that's not so bad."

She took his arm and led him back to the sofa, sitting him down and then
taking his hand in hers, alarmed to find out how chilled he seemed.

He squeezed her hand back. "Thank you. Thank you for coming for me, and for
taking care of me here, and for letting me cry on your shoulder."

"This is what best friends do" Mac reminded him, lifting his hand to her lips
and kissing the back to emphasize her words.

"And partners" he added with a small smile.

"Of course" she smiled as well.

"Well this half of our partnership is going home and letting his partner get
to bed" he told her, starting to rise.

"Not while I'm conscious" she said firmly.

"Mac I've intruded enough on your evening" he objected.

"Oh please" she shook her head. "Look around. Does it look like I have
plans. Christmas was not something that was done up in a big way at my house
growing up. I've learned to live without it you know. My plans for tonight
were to watch a late movie if anything was on since I don't have to get up,
and then I was going to sleep late and treat myself to a big breakfast buffet
at one of the hotels and walk around in the Pageant of Peace display after.
Now I can fit you in there I think."

She tightened her hold of both hands. "Not to mention the temperature has
dropped even more. It's sleeting badly and the streets are like ice. Then
there's the fact that you're shaky on your feet here. You'll have to go
through me to get out that door. I want you to stay." She stopped and
laughed lightly. "Besides if you leave I'll stay up all night and worry
about you and it will be your fault."

"OK I give." He threw his hands up in surrender. "You can make up this sofa
for me."

"Remember the Watertown" she laughed. "You had four inches on the bunk
there. You've got about twelve on this couch." She stood and tugged him to
his feet. "Let's go sailor. We'll get you into jammies. I'll make some hot
chocolate and warm up some sugar cookies and we'll watch something until
you're ready to sleep. Which will be accomplished in one half of my very
large bed--no comments please. We're both adults and I'm sure we can
approach it from that standpoint."

"I don't have jammies" he murmured in a pretend pout.

"Dalton left a set of sweats here" she smiled. "I've kept it because it's a
good reminder of an era of bad judgment. Every time I put a sweater in that
drawer I get a jolt of reality. It's good for me."

"I can handle that" he sighed.

A short time later they were settled in front of How the Martians Stole
Christmas which followed How the Grinch Stole Christmas, with a tray of
cookies, along with brownies and fudge [gifts from kind neighbors], and the
hot cocoa.

"Thank you" Harm told her sincerely when the movie ended. "I needed
something like that--and you--to take my mind off all this. I know you think
I'm over-reacting but I appreciate your not saying so, at least out loud."

"Hey don't presume to know what I'm thinking" she admonished him. "It's just
not my place to tell you what you should be thinking and feeling. I'm in
listener mode."

"Still I'm burdening you with it" he sighed.

"And when I want you to stop I'll tell you to shut up" she grinned. "Until
that point, feel free to burden. Except right now when I'm so tired you're
fuzzy to me."

His concern immediately left himself and moved to her. "Bedtime for both of
us then" he ordered, clicking off the TV.

"Good night Harm" she murmured and fumbled for his hand. "It's going to be
OK you know. It's all going to look better in the morning. And we'll talk
more about it then."

His fingers closed around hers. "Good night Ninja girl. Thank you. Thank
you more than I can express."

She pressed her fingers together with his and brought his hand up to tuck
under her chin. "Good night partner."

After a stop at Harm's apartment, breakfast at an all-you-can-eat buffet and a second emergency trip back to Harm's apartment, Harm and Mac were strolling leisurely along the footpath by the Washington Monument.

Mac tugged at their linked hands "Care to tell me what was so important, that we had to make a special trip to your apartment?" "You'll see" was all Harm replied, as he steered her toward the Vietnam Veteran's Wall.

Harm didn't hesitate as he walked up to the slab that contained his father's name. Both Harm and Mac saluted his dad, then Harm dug into his coat pocket for a box. Mac noticed the box in Harm's hands, but didn't question him. She knew that when the time was right, he'd explain his intentions.

Staring at his father's name Harm spoke quietly "Mac, to a pilot, his wings are his most prized possessions. They define his whole character, what he is in life." As Harm opens the box, Mac catches a glimpse of a pair of gold wings nestled securely within.

"These are my wings. The wings that were pinned on my uniform the day I became a Naval Aviator. I was so proud that day, the day I joined the ranks of the elite. I could say then, that I followed in my father's footsteps. These are my most prized possession."

Bending down to the base of the monument. Harm placed his wings among the many candles and flowers lying there. Harm then picked up the box that Jenny Lake left the night before, the box that contained his father's gold wings. Standing, Harm tucked the box in his pocket. Saluting the wall once again, Harm murmured "Merry Christmas, Dad."

"Good Morning, Colonel." Mac glanced up to see Harm lounging against her door frame. "Have a nice Christmas?" Mac grinned back at him "Very nice, I spent it with a very special friend."

Pushing away from the frame, Harm entered her office and closed the door behind him. "Can that special friend as for a favor?"

Mac was puzzled by his question. "Anything, Harm, you know that."

He pulled a now familiar box from his pocket. As soon as Mac saw the box, she realized that something was missing from Harm's uniform. "You do realize Commander, that you are out of uniform?"

"Well, Colonel, that was what I was hoping you'd help me with."

Handing Mac the box with his father's gold wings, Harm softly asked "Would you please do the honors of pinning them on?"

Mac was speechless at his request. Carefully removing the wings from the box, she reached toward Harm and pinned his father's wings in place. Stepping back, she saluted him.

Harm returned her salute. "Mac, there is another tradition that follows the pinning of wings. The traditional kiss."

"Well, I'm not one for breaking tradition." Mac stretched up, kissing Harm gently on the cheek.

They stood looking at each other, unable to break eye contact. As if of one mind, they reached for each other, losing themselves in a deep loving kiss.

At this first touch of lips, the two officers suddenly couldn't get enough of each other. Neither wanted to be the one to break the kiss as both craved it so much. Finally a lack of oxygen forced them apart.

Harm's breath was ragged as he spoke. "I think we need to talk. Something just happened here that neither of us can deny. Meet me at my place at 1800?"

All Mac could do was simply nod at Harm's request. Right now she would go anywhere with the man in front of her.

Harm acknowledged Mac's response and walked towards the door. Just before he opened it, he walked back and kissed Mac again. This time lightly on the lips. "Thankyou for everything." he whispered against her lips. He then exited the office, leaving an overwhelmed Mac behind. As she watched his retreating form into the bullpen, she touched her fingers to her lips, trying to feel the tingling sensation that was running through them. "You're welcome." she whispered.

PART 5

HARM'S APARTMENT

1755

Harm was pacing the apartment. Mac was due any minute, and he didn't know whether to be happy, excited, apprehensive or scared. After what had happened in her office this morning, neither had been game enough to see the other, unsure of the other's reaction.

Mac on the other hand had been standing outside Harm's apartment for the last twenty minutes. She stood there wondering what tonight was going to bring. Something passed between them in her office this morning, and it was something that she had wanted for a very long time, but she wasn't one hundred percent about Harm. She hoped that he felt the same way that she did, but what if he didn't. What if he had only kissed her out of some misguided sense of gratitude? Mac wasn't sure how she would take the rejection if this was the case. Finally deciding that she would never find out unless she took the plunge, Mac knocked soundly on the apartment door.

At the sound of Mac's knock, Harm's reactions kicked in, and he opened it so quickly that it slammed into the wall behind it. At the first look into Mac's eyes, any apprehension he might of held vanished immediately. Harm knew what he wanted, and she was standing right in front of him. Almost lunging for her, Harm reached down and picked Mac up and carried her into his living room. He then sat her down on the couch, where he proceeded to kiss the life out of her, not unlike their earlier display at Headquarters.

To say that Mac was surprised by Harm's greeting would be an understatement, but it was definitely not unwelcome. As soon as Mac looked into Harm's eyes, it took all of her restraint not to jump him herself. And now she was engaged in a necking session on Harm's couch reminiscent of her high school days.

Finally the need to breathe tore them apart. With foreheads touching, Harm uttered his first words. "Hi." He whispered.

Mac couldn't help but giggle at Harm's ragged whisper. "Hi yourself." she whispered just as raggedly.

Harm allowed a huge smile to spread across his face. It definitely looked like what occurred this morning in Mac's office was not a fluke. Unconsciously he leant towards Mac once again with the kissing her, but pulled away at the last minute. Mac's frown of disappointment forced Harm to hastily reassure her.

"Trust me, there is nothing more I would like at this time, than to lay you down on this couch and kiss you senseless, but I promised you food, and we need to talk, after all, we haven't felt the need to jump each other before. So what say we go into the kitchen, eat, and then come back out here and talk. Then if things go well, like I hope they will, we can continue exploring our new hobbies?"

Mac knew Harm was right. As fun as this was, they needed to eat and talk about it. Sighing, she lifted herself off the couch, then reached down and pulled Harm up by the hand. When he was standing tall, Mac stood up on tiptoes and cupped the back of Harm's head with her free hand, she then brought his lips to hers and gave him quite a chaste kiss. She then let go of him and sauntered in the direction of the kitchen. Leaving one stunned sailor behind, shaking his head on how he was going to get through this evening.

After dinner had been eaten and cleared away, both officers made their way back to the couch. Without hesitation, they sat side by side, and hand in hand. For a while they simply sat and enjoyed each other's company before Mac broke the comfortable silence.

"Well. I don't know about you, but I am enjoying this latest development in our relationship."

Harm let out a breath that he wasn't aware he had been holding, and unconsciously squeezed Mac's hand. He knew Mac well enough to know that she had spoken first in order to break the ice, while at the same time giving them both time to gather their thoughts. He also knew his marine well enough to know that she wasn't finished. And she didn't disappoint.

"Harm I know that this has been a very tough couple of days for you, and I would understand thoroughly if you want to put all that has happened today down to a combination of stress, emotion and gratitude, but I feel that it is only fair that I tell you what I am thinking."

Harm was horrified to think that Mac could possibly think his motives were anything short of wanting to be with her, and an expression of his feelings, but at the same time he understood her point of view. Thinking that she was buying time in order to let him down gently Harm simply nodded he allowing her to continue.

"What has happened today is something that I have dreamed about for a very long time." Mac's first sentence got Harm's attention and his eyes snapped to hers. Mac smiled at the look of wonder that passed by Harm's features. Encouraged she continued. "Over the years that we have worked together, we have both done things that we have not been very proud of, and also had things done to us. And allot of the time, we have been hurt. My point here is that ninety-nine percent of the time, we seek comfort from the each other. Whether it be an encouraging word, a look, or even a hug, and I think it is time that we looked into that. I know how I feel about you. I love you, and I consider it one of my greatest honours to have been the one who was able to help you two nights ago, but I don't want thanks or praise, because I know that without a doubt if the roles were reversed you would have had no hesitation in being the one to help me when I would have needed you most. So tell me Harm? Is this kissing thing something that we are going to be engaging more in?"

Harm's response to Mac's question was to simply reach out and gather her in his arms, he sat her on his lap and tucked his face into her hair. He held them in that position until Mac became worried and extricated herself from his embrace far enough so that she could see his face. When she saw the tear tracks running down his cheeks. Immediately she cupped his face in her palms, and softly whispered his name.

Harm shook his head trying to regain his voice, when he found it what he said was something that would change their lives forever. "I am sorry. I don't mean to worry you. Again. You have been so good to me. It is just, I love you so much. I never dreamed that you would feel the same way. I love you Sarah."

Tears sprung to Mac's eyes at Harm's words, using her hands which still cupped his face, Mac brought his lips to hers. This kiss was not like the ones that they had shared upon Mac's arrival. It was not frenzied or frantic, it was soft, slow and full of love.

Neither broke the kiss, instead Harm lowered himself forward so that Mac was pinned under him on the couch. With the feel of of their bodies aligned, the kiss was deepened and hands began to wander. Harm slipped his hand beneath Mac's blouse, and began to trail it upwards. When he reached the cotton of her bra, he stopped abruptly, ripped his mouth from hers, and sat back up.

Mac could not stop the whimper of protest from escaping her lips, as Harm pulled away from her. Straightening her clothes, she also sat back up and took Harm's hand in her own. Softly she spoke. "Want to tell me why you stopped? You know that I wouldn't have protested. Not now. Not now that we have finally told each other how we feel."

Harm ran his free hand through his hair. It took all of his willpower to stop when he did, and he only hoped that Mac didn't think that it was because he didn't want her. Keeping his eyes focused on the floor in front of him Harm spoke. "I love you, you know that. But every relationship I have ever been in has always been based on my compatibility with my partner in the bedroom. You are my best friend before everything else, and I would love nothing more than to take carry you up those stairs right now and to make love to you, but I want us to have some time getting to know each like this. Being in love. Then when the time comes to for us to move to the next level I know that it will be so special. Do you understand?"

Mac couldn't believe it. Any other man would have taken what had been started to its logical conclusion, but not this man. He thought enough of her and their relationship to call a halt, and that only made her love him more. "Yes I understand." she whispered. "And I agree with you. All of my other relationships have been focused on sex, but I know that there is much much more to us than just that. But I hope that this doesn't mean that you are kicking me out. I would really like to stay here tonight, I would really like to sleep in your arms."

At Mac's understanding Harm lifted his head and caught her gaze, he then pulled her into his arms again. "I would like that very much. But before either of us hop into bed with each other, I think we need to settle down, or else all that we just said will go out the window. Why don't you go and find something to sleep in, and I will run down the block and get some ice-cream?"

Mac agreed and Harm stood up, he retrieved his wallet from the desk, and opened the door. Mac hurried over just before he walked out, and kissed his soundly. "Hurry home." she simply stated, before turning around and walking into the bedroom. Harm stepped into the hall and made his way towards the elevator, a grin firmly ensconced on his face. Unconsciously his step quickened, as the thought of the Mac waiting for him to come home so that they could sleep in one another's arms played on his mind.

Mac was going through Harm's dresser looking for suitable sleepwear, when she heard a knock at the door. Laughing she walked down the, talking loudly as she went. "What happened flyboy? Forget you key, or did you change your mind?" She was startled however when she opened the door, for it was not her sailor on the other side, but a woman at least twenty years older than Mac herself. Puzzled at who this woman could be, Mac questioned her. "Hi, can I help you?

PART 6

"Yes." spoke the older woman. "I am looking for Harmon Rabb Junior. My name is Jenny Lake."

"Ma'am," Mac responded automatically. "Harm will be right back. Come in
please. I'm Sarah Mackenzie. Everyone calls me Mac. And you must be
frozen. Take that coat off and let me make you some tea."

"That would be great, thanks," Jenny smiled. "I will never ever get used to
this cold."

It was not until Mac returned with the tea that she spoke again. "I came
because I'm concerned about Harm. I'm afraid I may have left him with the
wrong impression the other night at the wall. Is he OK?"

"He is now," Mac said slowly. "But he was pretty shocked and upset after he
talked to you."

"Did he tell you the story?" Jenny did not look up from her tea cup.

"He did yes," Mac nodded. "I knew some about his dad before, but not about
the Ticonderoga and...well...you."

"His father was a fine man," Jenny sighed, "and I could easily see that the
apple didn't fall far as they say." She looked up at Mac and smiled suddenly.

"What?" Mac asked, shaking her head.

"You're in love with him aren't you?"

"Good grief am I wearing that tattooed to my forehead?" she gasped.

"You may as well be," Jenny smiled again. "When I just spoke of him your
whole face lit up, especially your eyes."

"Yes," Mac admitted shyly. "For a long time. But it's only just now that
we're admitting it--to ourselves and to each other. We've been in denial for
a very long time about it. We were almost there six months ago when Harm
left for carrier duty and then when he came back things were all confused.
Now we're both on the same page thankfully."

"And that would be?"

"Best friends and very much in love," she smiled. "It wasn't all that much
buried after all."

"Given the time I could have easily fallen in love with my Harm," Jenny
smiled.

"I can relate," Mac grinned, "especially if the father was as charming as the
son. My Harm had me from hello."

Before Jenny could answer the door opened and a very cold Harm Jr. stepped
inside.

Mac jumped up to greet him. "You know only us would want ice cream on a
night like this. Fortunately I didn't have to worry about it melting on the
way home." She laughed and kissed his cold cheek as she pulled his coat from
him. "We have company," she whispered then, gesturing around the corner of
the room."

"Company on a night like......" Harm leaned around and saw Jenny. "Miss
Lake...what....how did you find me? And why?"

"Phone book Sherlock," Jenny replied with a quick laugh. "And I looked
because I realized I probably left you with totally the wrong idea about your
dad. Come and sit please. There's more I need to tell you."

"Uh....Miss Lake please..," Harm hesitated. "I'm not real sure I need to
hear any more. I....I didn't handle real well what you told me before."

"I'm sure," Jenny smiled. "That's why I'm here. And please don't call me
Miss Lake again. With less years in my life to live than have all ready gone
by, I don't need to be reminded how much older I am than you."

"Yes ma'am," Harm nodded.

"Harm we can hear what she has to say," Mac told him firmly. "Don't leave it
halfway. You'll always wonder." She tucked her hand firmly in his and led
him to the table, not releasing him as they sat with Jenny.

"Let me say something first," he spoke up. "Jenny, those were terrible
times. And while I hate the idea that my dad cheated on my mom, I've come to
realize that it's not my place to judge something I know nothing about. Or
better said, that I should understand. I've been a combat pilot. I know
what it's like to be scared shi....to be scared to death and if you provided
him some comfort...."

"Harm wait," Jenny spoke up. "That's the point here. I did not do any such
thing. Not in his bed anyway. Yes we comforted each other, with kindness,
but with nothing else."

PART 7

"What are you saying? I thought that you two......but, he gave you his wings." Harm couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was so sure, thinking of the worst scenario and now that wasn't true?

"Harm, Mac why don't we sit down. I better tell you the whole story. I owe it to you and I owe it to your father's memory."

Harm and Mac settled on the couch, Jenny on the chair opposite. "Harm, when I met your dad, I was at rock bottom. After losing my David, I felt that I didn't have anything to live for. Maybe I should have left the tour and headed home. But for some reason, I felt closer to him on the tour. I guess I felt that in some way I was doing the honorable thing by staying. Anyway, I met your father......he seemed to sense that something was troubling me. We ran into each other on the ship several times, he was always nice to me. Finally, things just got too much for me. I went to the fan tail of the ship, I was thinking, all I have to do is jump and I'll be with David. It just seemed so simple, so easy, so possible.....and then you dad came along and stopped me. We sat outside and talked. He talked about you Harm, he was just so proud of you."

Mac couldn't resist reaching over and stroking Harm's arm. He glanced over and offered Mac a weak smile. Sliding his arm around her shoulders he pulled her close.

Turning back to Jenny "Please continue, Jenny. You don't know how much this means to me, to hear about my dad. I just hope that this doesn't bring up too many bad memories for you."

"Harm, any bad memories have faded with the years. Fortunately, the good memories never fade away, they always stay special in your heart. Your father's memories are very special. Well, back to my story. We sat and talked. We could each sense how lonely the other person was. Before we knew it, we were kissing each other. But we pulled back from each other, and realized that we weren't kissing the person we wanted most in the world. The person we wanted most in the world. But we were lonely, there was no hiding that. We spent the rest of the night just talking, talking about everything. He told me about his hopes for you Harm, how he wished that you would follow in his steps as a pilot. He told me about a plane that he had bought, about one day he'd restore it with you. He also told me all about Trish, how beautiful she was and how she managed to hold the family together while he was on the other side of the world. I told him about the plans that David and I had for a family, for a life together. I think the one thing that we both knew was that life was uncertain at best. People were being killed all around us. We learned to appreciate the little things that life offered us, and at that point in time we had each other to lean on and talk to. The next thing we knew, it was morning. You father escorted me to cabin I was assigned, I had a horrible sense of direction on the ship. He ended up being late for a briefing because of that, it's amazing what sticks in your head after all these years. Well, later that night, before his flight, he searched me out. He had something for me, as a 'thank you' for sitting and listening to him ramble on. I was touched when he gave me his wings. At first, I didn't want to take them, I knew how important they were to him, but he insisted. The only thing I had to give him was my scarf. I gave it to him, in hopes that he understood how much I cherished our time. Later, when I heard that he was shot down, my heart really broke. First David, then Harm. All I could think about was the family that he spoke so lovingly about. I vowed then that one day I'd track that family down. That is why I'm in Washington, I figured that I could find some record of his family here. I never expected to run into you at the Wall. I thought I was seeing a ghost at first, you are almost his double. After I left you at the Wall, I realized the impression that I gave you, I had to come back and correct it and tell you what really happened."

"Ms. Lake...Jenny, thank you. You have just given me the best Christmas present ever." Harm reached his hand out to squeeze Jenny's clenched hands.

Jenny stood "I should be going. I can tell you two have a lot to talk about." Stopping at the door she turned and wished them a "Merry Christmas."

As she left, Harm gently closed the door behind her. He then put his palms against the door and leant into it. By the way that his shoulders were raised, Mac could see the tension evident in Harm's body language.

Quietly Mac moved towards the man who meant more to her than anyone else in this world, she placed a hand on his shoulder. She then twisted him, so that he was facing her, taking his hand, she lead him over to the couch, where she sat him down and proceeded to sit in his lap.

Harm snaked an arm around Mac's waist and brought her further into his embrace. The couple sat like that for awhile, simply reveling in each other's company and absorbing what Jenny Lake had to say, Finally it was Harm who broke the silence.

"Thankyou." he whispered against Mac's ear.

Mac twisted her body around so that she could look the man she loved fully in the eye. "Thankyou?" she questioned. "What for?"

Harm simply shrugged his shoulders. 'For everything, for being here, for being my anchor. I have no doubt that I could not have gotten through this without you."

Mac leant forward and rested her forehead against Harm's. "Don't you get it by now. I love you. You were hurting, and that meant that I was hurting as well. I would do anything for you Harm."

Harm nodded but found that he couldn't meet Mac's eyes. Mac rested back on her haunches, and turned Harm's face to once again her. "What's wrong. Tell me please."

"Okay, but I might muck this up okay."

"Okay."

"Christmas time, has never been a happy time for me in my life. It has always carried the stigma of the time when Dad went missing. This Christmas was tough, hearing what Jenny had to say, but it gave me a new perspective into the man my father was, and for that I will always be grateful. None of the women in my life have really been able to understand and help through Christmas, not until now. You were there for me Sarah, you were there, you did all of the right things, and said all of the right words, and that is reason enough for me to love you for the rest of my life. But it is not just gratitude, it seems like I have loved you forever, and hearing the stories about Dad's last flight, and Jenny losing her David, made me realise that you never know when life will be snuffed out from under you. I am very proud to carry the name Rabb, it is an honor to my father, and it is one of my greatest dreams to be able to extend my father's legacy and pass on my name to a child of my own. What I have realised in the last few days is that you are the woman with whom I want to carry on that legacy. I want to marry you, and I want you to carry our children. And then maybe in the future we will have memories of this Christmas to share with our children, and as a family we will make new memories. So what do you say? Sarah Catherine Mackenzie, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Mac couldn't help herself, she flung herself into Harm's embrace and squeezed him tightly. The only words she spoke were to whisper her assent into his neck. Gently Harm cupped Mac's face with his hands and drew her back, he then kissed her softly to celebrate their engagement.

In the heavens above, Lieutenant Harmon Rabb Senior watched over his son, and the woman he adored confident in the knowledge, that his legacy would continue, and that 'lil Harm would get his dream next Christmas of making new memories with his family.

THE END