Title: Surrogate VI - You Can't Run from Yourself, NC-17 Version
Author: MSHDV, MSHDV@aol.com
Summary: Part VI of the Surrogate series.
Disclaimer: JAG characters portrayed belong to JAG, CBS and Paramount Television. No copyright infringement intended. All other characters depicted are purely fictional and any similarities to actual people are purely coincidental.

Author's Notes - This is the Sixth and Final Part of the Surrogate Series (but don't panic...there is an epilogue). It has all the characters we love and love to hate! Feedback is more than welcome. Some of the facts are based on the series...some have been fed by my imagination for the story line. "The Heart Won't Lie" belongs to Reba McEntire and MCA Record.

WARNING: This story is rated NC-17. If that sort of thing bothers you, reading further is a bad idea.


Surrogate VI - You Can't Run from Yourself


Prologue


  You can run for cover
You can run for help
You can run to your lover
But you can't ever run from yourself

Because there you are no matter how far you go

No matter how far you go
No matter how long you stay
You can run forever
Darlin you will never find true happiness that way

Because there you are no matter how far you go

You can run for cover
You can run for help
You can run to your lover
But you can't ever run from yourself

Because there you are no matter how far you go


The darkened sky sent torrents of rain crashing against the small shore, the lightning illuminating the remains that floated amidst the environmental nightmare created by years of activity in the port area. Cargo ships carried their bounty to the country's waiting millions, while depositing pollutants in their leaving wake.


JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VA
1830HRS (EST)


"Tiner, let's just stay till we finish. I don't want the Admiral on my six first thing when he comes in. Remember it's my six on the line first when he's pissed, so let's just do it!" Victor Galindez watched as Jason Tiner grabbed another armload of files and moved them into the storage boxes they had scattered across the entryway to the Admiral's Office.

"I just don't get the 'this isn't the archive at the Smithsonian' comment. Military protocol requires that we retain files for..." Tiner grudgingly handed the listing of the box's contents to Gunny for cataloging interrupted abruptly by the exasperated Gunnery Sergeant.

"Tiner, are you going to argue military procedure with a 2 Star, besides we aren't 'deep sixing' them, we're moving them to the storage area." The Gunny waited for Tiner's response with a questioning stare, but when all he saw was the Petty Officer shrug his shoulders he made his way back to his desk. He agreed with Tiner that this duty was for some 'pencil dick', but getting it done beat listening to the Admiral rant about office space, this newest crusade.


SPECIAL CRIME DIVISION
METRO POLICE
WASHINGTON, DC
1900HRS (EST)


Katlin Sawyer flung the empty coffee cup into the pail across the room with frustrated annoyance, as she tried to focus on something, anything, but the assault on the Marine. It had been over 1 month since Sarah Mackenzie's rape and everyone, including the victim, had apparently moved on with their lives...except for one sorry ass, obsessive, compulsive, cynical detective...HER! What the hell was wrong with her anyway?

The case had come to a crashing halt against a brick wall built on a foundation of memory loss and lack of evidence. The only evidence in the file except for the images of the physical damage done to Mac, the medical records and one witness statement, was the lab report on Jingo's bowl and the empty water bottle. Lab report...that was a joke...'Inconclusive findings due to unknown substance'. A new cocktail for the sexually perverse and depraved to use on their unwilling partners. A dash of Dezocine, a dab of Quazepam, a pinch of Ketamin and a base of Rohypnol...Katlin Sawyer's clients choice for 21st Century sexual ecstasy.

Katlin gathered her things and exited Division, heading for the parking lot. She noticed the wind pick up and felt a sudden chill gust surround her with lingering ferocity. She shivered when entering the police issued vehicle, realizing the aftermath of the sudden chill wind still hung around her like the reaching cold hands of the dead.


JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VA
1900HRS (EST)


The shadows felt across Jag Operations as the last of the staff left for the evening. Quiet and solitude permeated the now darkened bullpen, the air thick with an unnatural silence. As was the case on all Friday nights, lights out was earlier than usual, as everyone rushed off for a weekend of rest, relaxation and activities that had nothing to do with the tasks that afforded them all their individual versions of the American Dream.


Gunny walked back to his desk and dropped the completed file listings. >From the corner of his eye he saw him standing in the shadows with his gaze fixated on the front of the building and his arms pointing in the same direction. For some inexplicable reason, Victor found himself following the fixated gaze electrified with a surreal conviction, an unearthly purpose. He found himself looking for something, anything, but when his eyes only registered on the emptiness of the Admiral's Office, he turned back to the stranger.

"Sir, is there something I can help you with? Sir?" Gunny watched as the fairly familiar stranger just turned and disappeared around the corner towards the stairs. Gunny hurried through the doors of JAG OPS passing the elevators, towards the stairwell. Opening the stairwell door, he found no sign of the stranger. The stairwell was empty and there was no sound of retreating footsteps echoing against its spiral recesses. What the hell? Where the hell do he go?

"What's up?" Tiner saw Gunny come back through the doors half distracted looking over his shoulder absently with the strangest look on his face. "What are you looking for? Gunny?"

"I just...there was a guy...never mind. Are you finished?" A small chill caught the air around his area and he found himself straightening stiffly against its sudden affect.

"Just about. One last box and 7 years of JAG History will be permanently archived in the storage closet! Hey, want to go grab a drink after we're through?" When Tiner turned, he saw Gunny again disappear through the glass entry doors, only to reappear a minute later and pass him silently moving quickly into the Admiral's office.

Victor Galindez walked to the window scanning the front grounds for any sign of the stranger that kept reappearing and disappearing, but there was no sign of anything unusual until his eyes settled on the parking area. As his eyes focused, the shrill scream sliced through him pushing his adrenaline to the limit, as he saw Colonel Sarah Mackenzie struggle with a dim and threatening figure.

Within a split second the Gunny was out of the office, fear like he never felt cursing through his body. As he passed a bewildered Tiner, he barked his instructions never breaking his stride. "Call Security to the parking area NOW Tiner! Someone has the Colonel! Move!"

Tiner froze for one split second, his mind trying to register what the Gunny had just said, but when he saw the Marine catapult through the doors nearly shattering the glass he was on the phone instantly.

Victor Galindez didn't stop for a breath till he reached the asphalt area, scanning the lot cautiously for any sign of the assailant, for any sign of the Colonel. Everything was a blur once he had seen the struggling officer and heard her terror filled scream. He didn't remember making his way out of the building. He didn't remember when he had removed his weapon from his leg holster, the first thing that was burned into his memory was an unconscious Sarah Mackenzie laying on the pavement, her limp body obscured by her vehicle.


For the next twenty minutes, the Gunny sat on the cold asphalt with Sarah Mackenzie in his arms and Jason Tiner at his side. Both tried to assess the Colonel's condition, finding no outward signs that she was physically hurt. They watched the flurry of activity increase around them minute by minute, as security arrived and the few remaining weekend staff stopped to offer assistance.

When the paramedics arrived, the Gunny reluctantly released Mac from his arms, answering the EMT's questions and watching them prepare the unconscious Sarah Mackenzie for transport.

"One of you guys coming?" The paramedics shouted the question before closing the ambulance doors in exasperated impatience.

Tiner looked questioningly at the Gunny with alarm."...The Commander? We forgot to call Commander Rabb."

"You go with the Colonel, Tiner. I'll get a hold of the Commander..."

"...And the Admiral. Call the Admiral."


...Sarah Mackenzie was drifting...She found herself in a very familiar place as the darkness and fog swirled around her. She had been here so many times before, but she never felt this alone. He had always been with her. He had always been by her side. Why was she alone now...why wasn't he here now?

She felt the coolness of the weather envelope her, suddenly noticing a figure walking towards her out of the surrounding misted darkness. Initially terrified, she wanted to run, to get away from his touch, from his laugh...she just wanted to run. But she couldn't, she was paralyzed, frozen to the deck of the carrier, as if she was welded in place. And then he was there...encircling her with his warmth, his strength and his love.

Mac willed herself to raise her arms, melding into his embrace. As he held her tight against him, all the fears, the doubt and the pain of being without him seemed to melt away and fall into the angry sea around them. "Mac, I love you. I will love you for eternity. I'll always keep you safe. Always." His words echoed around her as she felt his hands on her face, caressing away all her terror, her emptiness and the loneliness she felt without him.

"I know, Harm. I know. I'm always safe with you, safe in your arms."

...Sarah Mackenzie was drifting back safe in her sailor's arms.


BETHESDA NAVAL HOSPITAL COMPLEX
BETHESDA, MD
0630HRS(EST)


Commander Harmon Rabb had fallen asleep at Sarah Mackenzie's bedside, his head leaning against her still form, his arm draped over her small waist. Everyone had attempted to send him home, even the Admiral had used the direct order ploy, but he had stood fast...so everyone stayed. Stayed until their friend regained consciousness.

It had been a dark vigil all remembering what had happened to the strong Marine and all numbed by the fact that something almost happened again. Harriet had fallen asleep in her husband's arms, Gunny, Tiner and the Admiral had stolen intermittent periods of sleep in the hard plastic chairs and Katlin Sawyer wore a rut in the hospital corridor with her incessant pacing.

"...Katlin, up to some breakfast in the cafeteria?" The Admiral watched the detective finally stop and lean heavily against the cold tile wall.

"I'm not the breakfast type, but I could use a cup of what this place passes off as coffee. Spare me the 'breakfast is the most important meal of the day' lecture, Admiral" Katlin's sentence trailed off, the words catching in her throat as the memories of their last stay at the cabin tried to seep into her tired mind.

"Fine, then let's grab a cup of coffee and some air." A. J. had noticed the small shudder pass over the staunch detective, but chose to ignore the look in her eyes and the involuntary body response. He felt her stiffen significantly as he guided her through the Trauma Center doors.


They found a small concrete bench outside the side entrance to Bethesda and sat wrapping their coats around them to protect themselves from the cold morning air and for Katlin the memories that were starting to return.

"How have you been, Katlin?" The Admiral watched as Katlin Sawyer averted his gaze finding the chill in her clipped response more numbing than the weather that surrounded them.

"Busy. I've been busy."

"Too busy to return the calls of an old family friend? I understand from your parents you haven't been home for a quite sometime."

"I am home, Admiral. I am home." Katlin stared out at the winter- ravaged grounds, trying to focus her exhausted mind away from the memories that Admiral A. J. Chegwidden was eliciting in her.

They sat in silence watching the sun start to tease the top of the trees shedding it's warming light on the cold hardness around them. It had been over two years, since AJ had talked to the teenage girl he had met so many years ago. The daughter of an old friend he had watched grow into womanhood with a strength and conviction of who she was, of what she would accomplish. He focused on his gloved hands, trying to imagine the immeasurable grief that had brought her to his point in her life. That had hardened her to the outside world and that had shut her off from friend or foe with little regard to their intentions.

"What happened to Josh was.."

"What happened to Josh was a long time ago, Admiral. Something I don't intend to discuss with you or anyone. Is that clear?"

"Katlin, don't bury yourself with Josh. You need to let yourself grieve and you need to move on. God help us all, Josh is dead, but your not. You need to move on with your life. Your Father is concerned and he..." If the Admiral could have taken his words back he would have, once he saw the detective level her stare filled with explosive despair in his direction.

"DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT! You see these arms! These are the arms that...held him...that held him as the life drained from his body...as his life drained out of him for ME...HE TOOK THAT BULLET FOR ME!" Katlin collapsed in the Admiral's arms, as years of grief and guilt finally melted her stoicism and the wall mortared with unshed tears of guilt came crashing down around her. The grief of years was overwhelming, the relived loss numbing, the verbally acknowledged guilt paralyzing, as Katlin Sawyer sobbed uncontrollable in A.J. Chegwidden's arms.

"Katy, that is not true. Katy listen to me."

"NO! If I had just let things be...if I had just stayed away from him...if I just didn't let him love me...he would still be here with me...he would still be alive!" The torrent of tears, continued to stream down her face as she stared at the Admiral, trying to comprehend the turmoil of emotions that were suffocating her will and that was destroying her resolve.

"Katy Lynn Sawyer, stop it now! That is just not the case! Josh Randall was killed senselessly by a drugged rapist! He died in the line of duty. He died in the arms of the woman he loved. Stop it now!"

"I should have let it be...I shouldn't have loved him...I should have let him live." The release of the guilt combined with the night's vigil had exhausted her...her words just croaked whispers filled with intense regret between the falling tears that were finally unstoppable.

"Listen to me! The last time I saw Josh at Quantico when he was on reserve duty, the only thing he talked about in our private moments was his kick-ass partner that he had fallen in love with. Her strength, her commitment, her integrity and how much she filled the last void in his life. There was no fear, no doubts and no regret. Where is she Katlin? Where do she go? Where is the woman that Josh Randall fell in love with?" AJ pulled back and looked intently at the daughter of his best friend. "If she is the woman I see, who has stopped living and wrapped herself in self-pity because of misguided guilt, then his death was in vain."

"But...I would have died for him. I would have died for him." The harsh words had registered; their chilling truth slicing through the nagging doubts and loneliness that time had fueled.

"And he you, Katlin. And he you. That is what partners in life and love do." The Admiral held Katlin, waiting for the tears to subside, waiting for her mind to register the truth and to bury the doubts of a lost love whose death had consumed her.


The early light teased at Sarah Mackenzie's eyelids, causing her to slowly open her eyes focusing on the sterile surroundings and the touch of her sailor, but keeping her mind from waking to her last conscious memories of the night before. She tentatively reached for the man that was her world and ran her fingers through his hair, feeling him stir almost immediately at her touch.

"Hey, Marine." Harmon Rabb flashed his brilliant smile, a smile filled with relief, filled with love for the woman that had once again come back to him.

"Hey, yourself. What happened...I remember...remember." Sarah Mackenzie's memories started to fade in the mist of her dream. The more she tried to focus the more they slipped away, her eyes darkened and her agitation became more than pronounced.

"Shhh...we have plenty of time to talk about what happened last night." Harm's forced smile was infectious, as he watched her relax and her eyes clear a bit.

"You have a beautiful smile Commander and I'm sure it gets you anything you want, but..."

"...but what Sarah Mackenzie?" Harm's smile increased in intensity, as he remembered the words...words spoken so long ago between two virtual strangers, two strangers that even back then, were pre-destined to be so much more.

"...keep it up and I'll scoot over and we'll be "hot bunking" right here." Mac watched Harm move closer to her, his words a teasing whisper against the smile on her lips.

"And that is a bad thing, because why?" Harm didn't wait for a response, placing a tentative gentle kiss on her lips. When he felt her arms encircle his neck and pull him closer, he increased the intensity of the kiss, afraid of hurting her, but understanding the need in her that mirrored his own.

Mac felt the heat of his lips on hers, the feel of his hands caressing her face and she forgot for a moment her sterile surroundings and the dark terror that had brought her to the sterility of the present. All thoughts were lost, as she reacted to the incredible feel of her sailor against her. The lips that could ignite a fire in her like no other. The touch that could fuel the fire to a burning inferno of desire like no other. She felt him gently lift her into his arms and she knew, Sarah Mackenzie knew. They would never find true happiness, until she stopped running from herself. Until she stopped running from the stranger that had threatened to take their future. Until she faced the truth. The truth was everything.

Neither Mac nor Harm, heard the Doctor enter the room, their kiss taking on a life of it's own settled in each other's safe embrace. Only when their electrified silence was interrupted by the sound of a throat being cleared in the distance, did they both hesitantly break their embrace. Once away from Mac's arms, Harmon Rabb stood stiffly at the side of the bed, like a fourteen-year caught in a compromising position by his date's father. Mac had to smile even against the dark memories that were starting to resurface, thinking of all the ways she could loosen her flyboy's still somewhat stoic public inhibitions.

"I'm glad to see that the sudden rise in your heart rate and blood pressure have nothing to do with your medical condition, Colonel Mackenzie." Captain Mark Willis eyed the Commander sternly, reprimanding him silently for his lack of control and propriety. But the obvious love exhibited between the two somewhat softened his medical disapproval.

"I apologize..." Harm stood back, his discomfort more than obvious. But the pleasure his Marine elicited in him with just a kiss too difficult to mask, even for him.

"Yes, well. I'd like to examine my patient now, if you don't mind Commander. "Why don't you..." Willis recognizing the Commander's obvious arousal..."go clean up. I'm sure the one thing you will find in the bathrooms here is plenty of cold water." The Doctor turned to his patient, trying to hide the smile that tugged at the corner of his lips.

Harm eyed Mac, giving her the "don't go there Marine" look. "I'll come..." Before Harm could finish his sentence, he heard his Marine's response and a smile flashed across his face as he exited the room.

"I'm counting on that flyboy...I counting on that."


Finished with his examination, the Doctor left Sarah Mackenzie alone. Nervously, she waited for the door to open, waited for Harm to return, to distract her, to keep her from drifting back into the darkness, into the memories...

She found herself back in the misted silence surrounded by the angry sea. She saw him coming to her again, his brilliant smile illuminating the dark cold stillness that enveloped her. But she couldn't move towards him, his arms remaining just inches from her embrace once he reached her. She tried desperately to touch him, to find the safety in his arms. But he wouldn't let her go to him! The arm around her waist tightened, the suffocating breath teased her neck and his lips taunted her like the fires of hell..pulling her back away from the safety..back into the blackness of his perverse need.

The pressure of his body against hers was paralyzing, his hands torturing her body as they probed her, satisfying his own dark needs. The pain intensified with every sadistic movement and her screams were muffled by the sickening sounds he made pleasuring himself.

"You will always belong to me Sarah Mackenzie. I will come to you when you least expect it. You will always be mine. You will always belong to me and no one else now and forever. I am your destiny."

"NO! STOP! PLEASE STOP!" She struggled against the pressure, which only intensified its affect. But this time, she focused on the recognizable voice. This time, she focused on the recognizable scent that surrounded her. This time, she focused on the face of the stranger that had taken her dignity. This time, she recognized the stranger that lived in her world.


He heard the screams of terror that echoed through the polished sterile corridor and within seconds Harmon Rabb was by Sarah Mackenzie side. Despair clutched at his heart, as she thrashed wildly against him still gripped in her nightmare of that night.

"Mac, it's me. Mac, Stop it! It's me, Harm. Please!" He couldn't get a firm grasp on his Marine as she flailed violently against her dream's assailant.

"No! Please, let me go! Leave me alone. Stop! Please stop!" All Mac felt was his hands, restricting her movement, trying to pin her against his sickening body.

"MAC STOP! PLEASE STOP!" Harm finally pinned her forcefully to the bed, feeling her suddenly go limp and watched her eyes open as she tried desperately to focus on her surroundings. He saw her eyes soften when they finally realized it was him that was restraining her.

"Harm? Oh my God, Harm. I saw him! I saw him!" She felt Harm lift her into his arms and she leaned into the strength of his embrace. Her body still shook with the fear and the terror of her nightmare, but Sarah Mackenzie also trembled with the indignation of what the recognizable son-of-a-bitch had done to her.

"Oh God, Mac. You know? Who? Who was it?" Harm couldn't control the rage that started to inflame the hate deep inside him. He felt her suddenly stiffen in his arms, his hate almost numbing him to her movement when he felt her pull away.

"The Admiral. I need to see the Admiral." Through all her own surfaced terror, Sarah Mackenzie knew well what she saw in her lover's eyes. The eyes that normally shone brilliantly were now vacant of all emotion except the pulsing fire of rage. She knew well what he would do once he found out the truth.

"Mac, what..why? Tell me who did this, Mac. Tell, me!" Concern was written all over Harm's face, trying to understand her request and still fighting the torrent of hate burning within him.

"Please, Harm. I need to see the Admiral."

Harm saw the pleading in her eyes. He felt the staunch conviction in her voice. Though he sensed the terror that still cursed through her body and his own hate starting to overflow and strangle the only purpose he could now focus on, he knew she would say no more till he brought the Admiral to her. He kissed her lightly and left the room in search of their CO.


What seemed like hours to Sarah Mackenzie, were mere minutes before she heard the hospital door open and saw Harm return with the Admiral and Katlin Sawyer closely behind. As if in slow motion, she watched them approach the bed, Katlin sitting on the edge taking her hand.

"Mac, tell us. Tell us what you remember."

"Harm." Mac extended her hand to him, wanting the feel of him before she continued the coldness of the truth suddenly making her tremble visibly. She felt his arm around her shoulder, his hand tightly clasping hers and the clear purposeful revenge already emanating from his every movement.

"...I don't want to talk about it all. I just want to tell you it was Mic Brumby. It was Brumby who did this to me."

Shock waves rumbled through the room as she heard the stoic Admiral's gasp of horror, she felt Katlin Sawyer tighten the grip on her hand and she felt Harmon Rabb's hand go cold in hers before she saw him quickly leave her side and head silently towards the door.

"Harm, NO!" Mac struggled to get up against the increased pressure of Katlin Sawyer. She had to stop him, before she lost the man she loved to the hate that now consumed him. "Admiral, please!"

Before Harmon Rabb could retreat through the hospital door, blind rage cursing through every part of his body, he saw the looming figure of his CO block his path.

"Get the hell out of my way." All military protocol and propriety was forgotten as Harm tried to forcefully remove the Admiral from his path, from his path to the animal that had taken Sarah Mackenzie's dignity. That had taken what should have only been hers to give willingly. The animal that had lived amongst them...the animal that he was going to kill with his bare hands for what he had done...that he was going to kill at any personal cost to himself.

"Stand down Commander! Listen to me! We will do this together! The bastard won't get away with this, but we will do it by the book!" Admiral AJ Chegwidden's own emotions were in conflict, not being able to imagine the immeasurable hate that Harmon Rabb must be feeling and coupled by his own growing need for revenge. "By the book Rabb! By the book."

The tension in the room threatened to further push them all into the dark chasm of revenge that swirled patterns of darkness around them all. Mac was terrified that she would lose the man she loved to the feelings that now controlled his body and his mind. She gathered her strength and opened her arms to him. "Harm, please. Harm, don't leave me. Don't let him win and take you from me. Not now. I couldn't stand to lose you now. Please."

Sarah Mackenzie's pleas carried on a voice filled with true despair was the only thing that seemed to break trough the haze that surrounded Harmon Rabb. He turned away from the glaring stare of his CO, returning to Mac's bedside and taking her in his arms. The hate still blinded him and even her touch couldn't soothe the rage that burned all his senses. But as he held her against him and felt her tears on his neck, his own tears of despair fell for what had been taken from her, for what had been taken from both of them.

Katlin with tears in her eyes moved away and gave Harm and Mac the privacy of the moment. She stood by the Admiral, noticing the tight set of his jaw and the raw conviction in his eyes.

"I'll call for backup and we'll get this guy. I promise AJ. I promise."

"There is no need for that." The Admiral's voice was tight sounding like it was about to snap his always perfect composure.

"AJ, even I can't..."

"You have all the backup you need right here, detective. Let's go. Rabb, let's go."

"I thought you said this was going to be done by the book?" Katlin looked at the Admiral questioning the action they were all about to undertake.

"It is. My book."


They entered the small hospital waiting area to the questioning stares of those that had stood vigil throughout the night.

"Gunny, you're with us. The rest of you need to go stay with the Colonel. Don't let her out of your sight. Is that clear?"

"Aye, Sir." All answered in unison recognizing the steely unyielding tone in the Admiral's voice.

"Let's move people."


The surreal chill of the morning air assaulted the group as they exited the hospital and made their way to Katlin's vehicle, parked conveniently in the space reserved for official police business at the entrance to the building. They watched Katlin Sawyer unlock the trunk of the unmarked vehicle revealing the cache of weapons. Some were police issue some were not.

"Pick your preference, gentlemen. If I'm going to do this with amateurs, I don't want you to get yourselves or me killed." When she saw the shocked expressions on all their faces she continued, shrugging her shoulders with indifference. "Now a days, we have learned to be prepared for any assault, since it has been proven that the bad guys are better armed than we are."

"The bad guys? You could stop a small war with all this fire power."

"Exactly, Admiral. Because that is what we face each day. Small wars between good and evil. That is my world, gentlemen. Let's go."


The darkened sky sent torrents of rain crashing against the small shore, the lightning illuminating the remains that floated amidst the environmental nightmare created by years of activity in the port area. Cargo ships carried their bounty to the country's waiting millions, while depositing pollutants in their leaving wake. The small beach that had been created with remnants from the storm drain that spewed jetsum and flotsam out of it's poisoned recesses became a tomb for the polished bones that floated to the shore...the polished bones that had finally found a home.


BETHESDA NAVAL HOSPITAL COMPLEX
BETHESDA, MD
01200HRS(EST)


Sarah Mackenzie had never felt so alone. Through the darkest times in her life she had always managed to pick herself up and move on...even after the assault...even after the realization of who her attacker had been. All the dark times would always be with her, memories that helped her remember who she was and how far she had come...even the most recent darkness would help to strengthen her somehow. But each and every man in her life that she had permitted to enter her somewhat cloistered existence had either hurt her or left her. She had survived Eddie's death, she had survived Dalton's death and she knew she would survive Mic Brumby's betrayal, but she also knew in her heart that if anything ever happened to Harmon Rabb, her life would be over. She was terrified that he would be taken from her by the cold hands of death, by an act of revenge fueled by an act of passion.

"Ma'am? Bud and Tiner are going to the cafeteria, would you like them to bring you something?" Harriet was very aware of the Colonel's darkened mood since they had left. Her concern for her friend clearly evident in her eyes.

"Harriet, I'll be fine and no I'm not hungry, but thanks just the same. Why don't you join them, I'll be fine." Mac had to smile when she saw the look of utter conviction on Harriet's sweet face, knowing instinctively that if the Lieutenant left she would probably be violating a direct order.

"No, Ma'am. They can grab something for me. I'll just wait for them right here."

"They ordered you not to leave me alone, didn't they?" Harriet's discomfort was obvious her sign of relief almost audible above Bud's response.

"Ma'am they were just concerned about your well being. They were just concerned that you would be OK." Bud watched, as Mac turned her voice just a whisper.

"And I for them, Bud. And I for them." Again Sarah Mackenzie fixated through the window on the shifting afternoon shadows, watching the snow fall silently against the landscape. A silent prayer escaped her lips, for her friends, for her sailor...for the man that had become her world.


4567 CHERRY
APT 11B
WASHINGTON, DC
1300HRS (EST)


The apartment building was an older imposing brick structure at the end of a quiet residential street, obscured from the traffic almost entirely by a huge oak tree. The men exited the vehicle quickly while Katlin Sawyer double parked on the wide street, the police light flashing from the dash, but the siren silent.

"You know by the time this little episode is over I will have broken every police procedure probably possible." The words were whispered to the Admiral, but the fire in her eyes told him she was more than ready to continue.

"Since when did police procedures out weight your principles, Detective."

"Since never, I just feel better when I acknowledge all the rules I'm breaking. It's makes me feel like I have weighted the options...it just makes me feel like I've taken the only course available at the time."

"Strange reasoning. If you tried to use that logic while under my command, I'd probably kick your six from here to the Aleutians." The Admiral watched as Katlin Sawyer nonchalantly picked the lock on the massive front door with expertise.

"Yea, well now you sound like my Captain and he has kicked my ass about that far for even less. God only knows the duty station I'll get when he finds out about this. Ready?"

"Let's do it." The Admiral signaled Harm to go through the front with Katlin, while he and the Gunny circled around back.

They walked quickly and silently down the hallway towards Apartment 11B, each one taking a position on either side the door. There appeared to be no sounds coming from the apartment, but neither of them felt overly comfortable with the silence, drawing their weapons.

"DC Police, Commander Brumby." Not hearing a response, Katlin Sawyer knocked again. "Commander, DC Police we would like to talk to you. Commander? Open the door please, Commander." Shrugging her shoulders she looked at Harm and reached for her lock pick with her free hand just as the muted sounds of a TV came through the apartment door.

Katlin backed up quickly resuming her secure position and signaling to Harm that they would go on three. Within seconds and with one swift kick, Harm dislodged the door from the jam, both entering the apartment with their weapons poised. Making their way cautiously through the deserted rooms, both met back in the living room thoroughly perplexed.

"Damn it! He's gone." Harm's eyes darted around the vacant space incensed that they were too late, that the son-of-a bitch had packed up and ran. The angry revenge that raged inside him blinded the intuitive investigator to the obvious until he heard Katlin Sawyer's voice.

"Tell you the truth Harm, I don't think he went anywhere." Katlin knelt and ran her fingers against the thick carpet.

"What the hell are talking about..." Harm watched as the detective stood and walked towards him.

"Pile." Katlin deposited the thin beige fibers in Harm's hand and moved towards the TV flipping it off, just as the Admiral and Gunny made their way through the opening where a door had once stood securely.

"What's going on Commander?" Surveying the vacant room, AJ secured his weapon focusing on Harm with a questioning stare.

"I'm not quite sure, Sir. All I know is that he is gone." Before Harm continued he turned in Katlin Sawyer's direction. "Pile?"

"Pile. This carpet is new. Notice the footprints we are leaving in the nape when we walk. When you vacuum a new carpet, ever notice now much of the pile is loose and picked up by the machine? It's left by the manufacture process and usually disappears after a few vacummings."

"Ma'am, Commander Brumby has lived here for almost two years. Maybe he had the carpet replaced recently." Gunny's question was one that all the men had thought of, even Harm, his mind starting to go back into investigator mode as he moved and knelt by the heating unit in the corner.

"No, Gunny it is not new. This carpet has been here for awhile. Notice the lines around the baseboard by this unit. I bet we'll find the same in all the rooms."

"So what you're saying, Sir is that..."

"Commander Brumby didn't pack up and leave his home, because he never lived here." Katlin stood in the center of the room. "Look around you gentlemen, what do you see?"

Slowly, all three officers scanned the living room noticing very little left in the large space. There was a lamp positioned by the window. An answering machine on the counter separating the living area from the kitchen and a TV nestled in the built-in bookcase that occupied the far wall.

"Not a whole hell of a lot, Katlin."

"But more than you think, Admiral. There is a TV and a lamp both operating split over two timers and an answering machine. Paint any pictures?"

"That he never really lived here, he only painted the illusion of taking residence here."

"Bingo! This is where the bastard wanted ya'll to think he lived...it's the why I don't get. Why would he go to such extremes to hide personally in the shadow of an elaborate illusion, when he walked professionally in the light? This is more than just a sadistic rapist we are dealing with...much more." Katlin shuddered at the possibilities. No sexual assault case was simple. But they all had profiles of sort. This one was turning into a maze, a maze they might never solve. A maze that they had to solve if her gut instincts were correct.

"Then he is still out there somewhere, capable of defiling someone else with his animalistic perverse need!" Harm's jaw tightened, his posture stiffened, his hands clenched in tight white knuckled fists and his eyes spit fire.

"Commander, I doubt someone "else" fits into his dark equation. I think Sarah Mackenzie is and will be the only one at "ground zero" in this case. I always knew her rape wasn't only your usual "anger" rape, nor did I think the pattern of abuse fit only the ones we see with "power" rape." Katlin watched all three men tense visibly at her voiced observations. She hated the look in their eyes. She hated having to continue. But now her gut told her, this could turn into something much worse than they had initially envisioned. "Mac's assault had some of the signs of a "sadistic rape", which seems to be confirmed now."

"Why now, Katlin. Why now?" The Admiral's chilled stare numbed the detective, like she had been assaulted with a direct blast of freon.

"With this crime we find all the factors of power and anger rape. The offender transforms anger and desire into eroticized aggression that can be inflicted on the victim in different ways...repeatedly. It is not just stripping the victim of her dignity sexually he takes great pleasure in the victim's torment, anguish, distress, helplessness and suffering, during and after the initial rape. The crimes are deliberate, calculated and pre-planned, with the offender taking great precautions to hide his identity. Control is all important, and they often derive further satisfaction from their ability to hide their dark side and to be like chameleons...as in the case of Ted Bundy."

"But Ted Bundy..."

"Yes, he did Commander." Katlin had to turn away from Harmon Rabb, not wanting to voice the possibilities she had instilled in each of their minds or further explore the other fears that now nagged at her own consciousness. "Admiral, why don't you and the Gunny go and find out if there is an onsite manager. Maybe he can shed some light on the illusive Mic Brumby. I'm going to get the Crime Lab over here. They will be able to tell us a lot more once they have gone over the place. Commander, why don't you go back and stay with Mac. There isn't much else we can do here."

Harmon Rabb's reality was slowly disintegrating around him, dissolved by the information that Katlin Sawyer had passed to them and igniting a raging fire of fear within him. He knew she was right, there was nothing more they could do just yet and he felt defeated. But he also knew he desperately needed to be with his Marine. Somehow, he found the strength through his distraction to level his voice and turn towards Katlin.

"Katlin, thank you."

"No thanks necessary, Commander. I'm just doing my job and consider it my way of apologizing for Bataglia's less than rational comments that time we met in the Admiral's office."

"Don't give it another thought. You shouldn't spend time apologizing for your partner's actions."

"Trust me, Commander I normally don't. If I did it would be a full time job."

Harm turned to leave to go back to Sarah Mackenzie, but was stopped abruptly by Katlin's voice.

"Commander? Send up a pray for the love that you and Mac share, cause it could change in the blink of an eye. You just never know how tomorrow may go. Take pleasure in the todays, never forget the yesterdays and then you'll always be guaranteed the tomorrows."

As she watched the Commander turn and disappear, the emptiness of the apartment that now surrounded Katlin made her sign audibly. Walking to the answering machine, she removed the tape and slipped it into her pocket, a slight chill in the air wrapped around her and made her shiver outwardly.

Until Katlin Sawyer heard the Admiral and the Gunny return with the irate property manager, she closed her eyes and let her mind wander back, her words mere whispers. "I love you Josh Randall. You will always be part of my yesterdays, you will always be part of my todays and you will always be part of my tomorrows, once I find them. I will love you forever my love."


6 DAYS LATER
OUR LADY OF PEACE HOSPICE
CHERRY HILL, NJ
0700 HRS (EST)


Jesse Hawkins struggled against the machines that were keeping her alive willing herself to let them help to sustain her artificial life for a short time longer. She still had so much to finish. So much that her mind would not permit her to forget, before she could find her peace and the salvation she knew God's arms would offer her. She had to hang on until all had been said, no matter how insignificant to others, what was still left was important to her.

Through medicated eyes she watched Sister Rachel take the note from her hand and smile. Patting her hand lovingly, Jesse heard her quiet reassuring whisper. "I will do what you ask my child, now rest."


7 DAYS LATER
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VA
1130HRS (EST)


It had been 5 days since Sarah Mackenzie had been released from the hospital 6 days since they had made their assault on Commander Mic Brumby's apartment and 5 days since the Australian had been listed UA. Police Forces and Navy Personnel on two continents were searching for the missing officer, but it was like he had vanished...the chameleon had just disappeared.

The events of the last month now hung over JAG Operations as clouds of disbelief and shock. All were concerned for the Marine's well being and all were in shock that a friend, an associate, an officer and a human being that had worked among them could have done what he was accused of. And the one that was most affected by it all, was Commander Harmon Rabb Jr.

Sarah Mackenzie was healing at home with the help of medication and the love of her sailor, protected by the detachment of Marine Guards the Admiral had stationed around the building and the DC Police that patrolled the neighborhood frequently at the request of Katlin Sawyer. At night the naval aviator also stood guard with her safely in his arms...peaceful sleep now just a memory to Harmon Rabb.

But it wasn't the lack of sleep, nor the tripled workload that was destroying Commander Harmon Rabb, it was the rage, the anger and the need for revenge burning deep within him that was all consuming. It was destroying him and he knew that until they found Mic Brumby, prosecuted him and put him away for the rest of his life, he would never rest. He would never be the same. The Australian had become his new obsession.


Harm threw the folders on his desk distractedly and checked his phone messages for a call from Katlin, a call from Australia, a call from NCIS, a call from anybody that could stop the hate that grew stronger within him each day. But like yesterday and the day before that and the day before that there was nothing. He hated who he was becoming. The need for revenge threatening to kill his integrity and his honor, the only feeling within him that he could still recognize was his love for his Marine.

"Where are you, you sorry son-of-a-bitch. Damn it where are you?"

"Sir?"

"Sorry, Bud. I didn't realize I had said that out loud. It's just that this waiting, not knowing..."

"Yes, Sir. I know what it's doing to the rest of us, but I just can't well...imagine..." Bud Roberts had found his own hate grow in proportion to Harm's over the last month fueled by the betrayal of a friend, and the in human act that he had committed against them all.

"I know Bud, thanks. What do you need?"

"Oh, sorry Sir. There is a Sister Rachel here from Our Lady of Peace Hospice to see you."

"A Nun, to see me? Just find out what she needs Bud and handle it for me, OK."

"I tried, Sir. She originally asked for the Colonel. When I told her she was on leave she gave me these, Sir. Besides the Colonel, she will only speak to you." Bud handed Harm two worn and tattered business cards. One card was for a Major Sarah Mackenzie and the other for a Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb Jr.

"What the hell?" Harmon Rabb stared at the cards he held in his hand...the cards from another time...


SPECIAL CRIME DIVISION
METRO POLICE
WASHINGTON, DC
1130HRS (EST)


"Sawyer, has that become one of your greatest hits?" Katlin Sawyer shut the tape recorder and watched as her partner settled himself across from her.

"Well, it beats what you listen to Bataglia. At least I can understand the words."

"Apparently not, judging from the number of times you've listened to the damn thing. Aren't you due in Court anyway." Bataglia hoped she was due in Court, because if he had to listen to the voice on that tape one more time he'd really loose it. Usually he could live through the ice queen's obsessions, but the Sarah Mackenzie Case was driving him crazy.

"Yea, at 1400. I'm missing something...there's something here that I'm missing." Katlin grabbed the recorder when she saw the icy stare of her partner and headed towards the door. "Fine! I'll listen to it over lunch!"

"You do that Sawyer. Have a nice lunch."


JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VA
1200HRS (EST)


They sat around the conference room table in an uncomfortable silence, until Harm finally addressed the petite Nun that sat across from Bud and him, warming her hands on the mug of coffee she had gratefully accepted.

"Sister, I understand from Lieutenant Roberts that you initially had something to discuss with Colonel Mackenzie and asked for me in her absence. I'm sorry, but I really do not have any idea what this could be about."

"Of coarse not, Commander, because in all honesty neither do I know all the details."

"I'm sorry, I'm not following."

"Perhaps I should start from the beginning. About six weeks ago, one of our parishioners was brought to the hospice diagnosed with an advanced case of stomach cancer. She was the daughter of one of our diocese largest benefactors. Her condition was terminal and our job was to make her as comfortable as possible until the end."

"Sister, I'm sorry but I still don't see what any of this has to do with the Colonel or myself."

"Jesse, had always been a rebellious teenager, ran with the wrong crowd and unfortunately her antics got her into quite a bit of trouble growing up. Her father was at a loss when it came to controlling her, so with the grace of God on her eighteenth birthday he convinced her to join the Navy. She did and that is apparently the only connection that I can ascertain."

"She is no longer in the Navy, I would imagine?"

"No, when she was initially diagnosed 3 months ago, she received a full medical discharge. That brings us to the present. Over the last 4 weeks Jesse has tried to come to terms with her eminent death and to make peace with herself and with God. This has involved her making peace with those individuals she feels she has wronged somehow in the past. You and the Colonel are the last two she has requested I contact...that she has requested to see."

"Ma'am, can you give me her full name." While Harm was trying to understand his and Mac's connection to the young woman, Bud had gone into investigative mode taking notes furiously.

"Jesse Hawkins." Sister Rachel immediately noticed the sign of recognition on Bud Robert's face the minute he heard the young woman's full name.

"Bud, do you know her?"

"Yes, Sir...Actually not personally. While you were away, an Ensign Jesse Hawkins was assigned to our office on a temporary basis."

"Did the Colonel know her?"

"In passing, I'm sure she did."

"So you will come Commander? Will you help a dying young woman find peace." Sister Rachel stood to take her leave, but not before handing Harm two plane tickets. "Excuse my presumption, but Jesse doesn't have much time."

"We will be there, Sister."


OUR LADY OF PEACE HOSPICE
CHERRY HILL, NJ
1930HRS (EST)


It was late when the three travelers arrived at the hospice. Harm had reluctantly agreed to make the trip, had gone home explained the situation to Mac and both for some inexplicable reason now found themselves in the darkened room of a dying stranger.

Approaching Jesse Hawkin's bedside, Mac took Harm's hand in hers and held it tightly. She barely remembered the young woman. She clearly did not understand why they had made the trip other than to help a young woman finally find her own peace before she made her private journey down the last road.

Sister Rachel stayed in the shadows that the small bedside lamp spilled throughout the silent room. A room filled with the sounds of the medical equipment that surrounded the frail ensign giving her life and now also filled with the presence of the two strangers that would grant her peace for eternity.

When they reached the bed, Harm and Mac realized it wasn't important that they did not remember the connection, as they saw the recognition on the young woman's face. A look of recognition, a look of relief and a look that spoke of truths that would finally be revealed.

Because of the respirator that took Jesse Hawkin's every breath, she was unable to speak, but the small writing tablet held in her weak and shaking hand spilled the words from her heart and her mind...the words her body no longer permitted her to utter.

Commander Harmon David Rabb Jr. and Colonel Sarah Catherine Mackenzie were given a portion of their past back, were given the opportunity to close a chapter of their painful present, and they were given back the will to plan and continue into their future.


SAW MILL ESTATES
BUSHKILL, PA
2130HRS (EST)


They had taken the hour drive in silence, each lost in their own feelings of anger, betrayal, hate, revenge and a sadness for the young woman that had died among strangers, but not once did they allow themselves to break contact with each other's warmth and strength. A glance, a touch, a kiss was all they both needed to continue the journey to the final truth that the young dying woman in love had started them on.

As the cabin came into sight, Mac smiled noticing Jeanette Mollins had prepared well for their arrival. The porch lights caused the surrounding snow covered forest greenery to glow with welcoming warmth and the smoke that spiraled from the stone chimney signaled the welcoming warmth within. Sarah Mackenzie had found herself in the calm of this cabin before, when she thought there was no hope. Now they would find their stolen past together, in the peaceful solace of the surrounding forest, in the box that Mac clutched tightly in her hands.

"It's beautiful here." Harm cut the engine of the SUV pulling Mac into his arms.

"Yes it is. Let's get inside, Sailor. Let's start on the road back." Whispered words against his lips, preempting her gentle kiss that spoke of sadness and of an unending love.


WAREHOUSE DISTRICT
WASHINGTON, DC
0045HRS (EST)


The chameleon lay in his nest absorbed lavitiously in the photo gallery that surrounded him. The photo gallery of the Naval Aviator singly, the Marine Colonel singly and of the two together as a couple. He had had her once and he would have her again. And the next time, the next time it would be forever. He would take her from him forever. And the Naval Aviator would lose everything and he would then win the ultimate game. He would then win.

So absorbed in his perverse thoughts of conquest, of revenge, of his sadistic needs, he didn't hear the assault on his dark world, until the noise of the poised weapons broke the cold damp musty silence around him. Until he felt the pressure of the knee on his chest, until he felt the cold steel barrel of the 9MM inches from his face and heard the hissing threatening tone in Katlin Sawyer's voice, did he realize his plans had been postponed.


ADMIRAL CHEGWIDDEN'S RESIDENCE
MCCLEAN, VA
0130HRS (EST)


The Admiral held the phone receiver tenuously in his hand, rubbing his temple with the other, Katlin Sawyer's words pounding in his head. Was it over? Was it finally over? Or was this just the beginning. Or was this just the beginning of another dark phase in all their lives. A dark phase that would test their loyalties and stretch their dedication to duty and honor to the extreme. He wouldn't permit the acts of a depraved lunatic to further disrupt his command, by causing them to uphold the rights of the stranger who they had welcomed into their lives, only to have him defile all they had stood for, all they had considered sacred.

AJ Chegwidden checked his watch quickly as he picked up the phone and dialed the Commandant of the Royal Australian Navy and the SECNAV. No longer was AJ Chegwidden going to allow the lives of the people that he considered family, be put in a position of choice by Military Propriety or Government Jurisdiction. He would make that choice for them and to hell with everything else. By God, this time they were going to play by his rules.


SAW MILL ESTATES
BUSHKILL, PA
0130HRS (EST)


They sat in front of the massive fireplace wrapped in the warmth of the fire and each other's arms amidst the scattered letters filled with so many lost thoughts...lost to them till this moment in time. Feelings that they should have been permitted to share when they were separated so many months ago...taken from them by the stranger and given back to them by the wishes of a dying young woman who had loved him.

"Harm..." Mac put down one of his letters and nuzzled closer to him tracing small circles with her fingers against his bare chest.

"Hmmm..." He found it difficult even with his Marine's heated touch to tear himself away from continuing to read the thoughts she had put down on paper for him so many months ago. But when he felt her straddle his lap, placing a kiss filled with fire against his lips, his body forced his mind to pay full attention to his Marine.

"Harm...well when you were on the carrier...did you...ever well fantasize...what it would be like...you know...if we ever..." The words escaped her between the small kisses she placed against his neck and shoulders.

"Trying to read between the lines, Colonel? And you?" Harm groaned in displeasure when he felt her stop her assault to answer, the feeling of her still firm against him making him want more of what she had started. Much more.

"All the time, Sailor. All the damn time."

Harm pulled her mouth to his in a kiss filled with the burning desire to recapture all the lost memories, like it was the first time...like it was the first time his need exploded with hers. He felt her increase the intensity of the kiss, positioning herself further in his arms. The kiss continued to grow heatedly, pushing them to forget the papers that were scattered around them. Their need for one and other hotter then the fire that blazed in front of them.

Only the ringing of the telephone could have separated the two lovers, as their attention was suddenly focused on the object that might bring them the news they so wanted to hear. When they had left the hospice, they had called Katlin Sawyer and passed on the information that Jesse Hawkins had given them...the information that might lead the authorities to Mic Brumby.

Mac watched with anticipation as Harm made his way to the phone, trying to comprehend the one-sided conversation through the body language she knew so well. She held her breath when she saw him close his eyes and lean heavily against the counter. She heard the few whispered thank-yous that escaped through his elevated breathing. And then she felt him back at her side, but when she looked into his brilliant eyes all she saw was rage, anger and vengeance.

"They got him. They got the son-of-a-bitch." He tried to look away, avert his eyes from the one person in the world who could now read him like a book.

Mac trembled at the news and at what she saw in her sailor's eyes. She took his face tenderly in her hands and forced him to look at her. "Harm, he took me once from you, please don't let him take you from me now. I beg you, don't let him take you away from me. If you do, he will have won. He will have beat us both."

Before Harmon Rabb could respond to Sarah Mackenzie's pleas he felt the pressure of her lips on his, her arms around his neck and her heated core pressing hungrily against him. The fire of love and desire she was suddenly assaulting him with muted the anger that raged within him. He wouldn't permit the stranger to once again take her from him...he wouldn't permit the stranger to take him from his Marine.


Both lay naked in each other's arm satiated from their love making and both waiting for the spark of desire to ignite again as it had through out the night. Harm had never been so satisfied laying with Mac safe in his arms. No woman had ever elicited in him the level of desire she could and the only regrets that he had was that they had waited so long.

"Is it always going to be better than the last time, Marine?"

"Always, Flyboy. Always."


SYDNEY INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA
2230HRS (EST)


Quantas Flight 1415 sliced into the night sky circling and then heading for its destination, Los Angeles, California. Commander Allison Broadhurst laid her head back against the airline seat trying to understand why she had drawn this assignment. It was an international time bomb waiting to go off and take her career along with it in its aftermath. She had always played it safe. She had always taken the middle ground. She had never rocked the boat, because after all it was still a man's Navy.

This was a high profile case, that whatever the outcome threatened to blow the lids off Washington and Sydney. It was a case of officer against officer. It was a case of the United States Navy against the Royal Australian Navy. Why the hell did she get his bloody assignment?


The darkened sky sent torrents of rain crashing against the small shore, the lightning illuminating the remains that floated amidst the environmental nightmare created by years of activity in the port area. Cargo ships carried their bounty to the country's waiting millions, while depositing pollutants in their leaving wake. The small beach that had been created with remnants from the storm drain that spewed jetsum and flotsam out of it's poisoned recesses became a tomb for the polished bones that floated to the shore...the polished bones that had finally found a home.

But the remains that had finally came to rest, were not left at peace. The Harbor Police Launch gathered the remains of what had once been a man, what had once been a son, what had once been a lover, what had once been an officer and a gentlemen.


HARMS APARTMENT
NORTH OF UNION STATION
WASHINGTON, DC
0630HRS (EST)


The weekend had been incredible even though they still had the eminent surreal dark clouds of the present hanging over them once they returned to Washington. With all they had faced and with all they still had to overcome, the weekend of love made the sun almost find a place amongst the clouds that threatened their return with hurricane force.

But besides the time they had spent pleasuring each other, they also had the opportunity to gain back all the lost words that were contained in the letters that Jesse Hawkins had finally returned to them. Harm's letters mailed with apprehension from the carrier and intercepted in the JAG mailroom. Mac's letters sent through the JAG mailroom with apprehension also intercepted. All collected by Jesse Hawkins and kept in the small white box until the time came to repent.

Jesse Hawkins had loved the dark stranger and had done his bidding. Server problems had permitted her the access to the JAG EMAIL system she had needed...and she did his bidding out of blind foolish love. General office duties had permitted her the access to the mailroom she had needed...and she did his bidding out of blind foolish love. The time difference, the flight schedules, the JAG investigations, the court dates, all produced messages that went unanswered until they both decided to stop. Decided to stop because of foolish pride, misguided stubbornness, unfounded insecurities and the subconscious fear that they would fail in this relationship like they both had in all the others. Fear that if they couldn't be lovers, they couldn't stay friends. Fear of what was pulling them together, would also tear them apart.


Harm shifted slightly when he felt Mac start to shake the sleep from her consciousness and rub her naked form against his, sensually moving closer to the heat his body was starting to emanate.

"Good morning, Ninja girl." Harm kissed the top of her head settling her more firmly in his arms.

"Hmmm. Morning, Navy." Mac wanted to stay where she was forever, waking up to his "poke" every morning was something she could really get used to. She found herself smiling against his chest, the thought of her "cuming" whenever called was suddenly amusing as well as arousing...wondering if he was ready to "rise" to the occasion.

"Hey, what's so funny." A small groan escaped him when he felt her slide one leg over his hip her wetness teasing the "head" that never seemed to sleep around his Marine.

"Nothing, but "naked" is convenient isn't it?"

"Yea, very convenient." Harm bit his lip and quickly rolled on his back taking a shocked Sarah Mackenzie with him...guiding his hard erection into her in one smooth swift erotic motion. Moving against the sweet sensation of her tight wetness surrounding him, he smiled when he saw the sheer pleasure on her face.

"Nice "trap" Rabb." Mac shuddered at the ache that was starting to spread throughout her body, the sensation of him deep and hard within her so suddenly almost causing her to faint.

He heard her moan with pleasure, he heard her groan with desire and finally as her entire body trembled, she screamed his name when her orgasm hit her with his final forceful thrust into her wet hot sex. Her release brought his exploding orgasm, spilling his seed inside her and mixing their sexual juices once again.

They lay in each other's arms trying to float back to earth and the reality that awaited them. Harm sensed the change in her breathing, feeling her cling to him, this time for his strength rather than his sex. "Promise me, Harm. Promise me you won't do anything impulsive today. I couldn't go through what's coming without you. Promise me."


They lay in each other's arms trying to float back to earth and the reality that awaited them. Harm sensed the change in her breathing, feeling her cling to him, this time for his strength rather than his sex. "Promise me, Harm. Promise me you won't do anything impulsive today. I couldn't go through what's coming without you. Promise me."

"We'll make it Marine. He'll never hurt us again, I promise. We'll get through this together."


JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VA
0930HRS (EST)


"Where the hell is everybody, Tiner?" The Admiral's eyes darted to the two darkened offices while he glanced absentmindedly at his watch for the third time since he exited the elevator.

Somewhere in the distance of the bullpen "attention on deck" was heard followed by an "as you were". The Admiral's mood darkened as he entered the bullpen noticing the lack of his key staff...actually noticing the lack of any of his key officers, all apparently cloistered behind their office doors. Not even the Gunny was at his desk.

"Tiner, I asked you a question. Where are Rabb and Mackenzie?"

"Stuck in traffic, Sir?" Tiner handed the Admiral his coffee, realizing he had just answered a question with a question and knowing instinctively that it would incense his CO.

"Make sure everyone is in the conference room at 1030 Tiner. Dismissed."

"Aye, Sir."

AJ watched his Petty Officer leave and close the door quietly behind him. It had been a long night and the day wasn't going to prove to be much different. It was Mac's first day back and it was also the day he would have to assign someone to sit second chair in defense of Mic Brumby. It was going to be one hell of a long day.


The sound of glass shattering in his office made Harm quicken his pace towards the door. He stopped abruptly seeing Gunny kneeling by his bookcase, the remnants of the frame that held his father's picture in his hands.

"Gunny, what the..." Harm watched the stoic Gunnery Sergeant who normally looked like he could chew "nails" stand and face him obviously shaken.

"I'm sorry, Sir. I'll replace the frame...it's just that this is the guy. This is the guy, who tried to direct me to the Colonel that night. That night she was assaulted in the parking lot. I know it is crazy, Sir...but I know what I saw." Gunny stiffened against the slight shiver that tried to soften the hard marine exterior, the apparition still clear in his mind.

"It's not crazy Gunny. Don't worry about the frame. Dismissed." Harm took his father's picture from Victor's hand and placed the pieces back on the bookcase. He had resigned himself long ago to seeing images of his father helping him through his weakest moments. The moments a son needed the strength only a parent could provide. Why would it be crazy that he had finally come again for his Marine when she needed his protection the most?


Admiral AJ Chegwidden watched his officers congregate and take their places around the large conference table, the case files waiting for distribution and discussion neatly in front of him. AJ watched Harm and Mac take their usual positions across from each other, both professional, both collected, as if it was just another file briefing. He noticed more discomfort on the faces of the rest of the staff, then on the two that sat directly on either side of him. Maybe this was a good sign maybe everything would be all right.

"Let's get going people."

Each case file was distributed and discussed briefly until there was just one left in AJ's hand.

"Civil authorities have acquiesced to our requests and we will be proceeding with the Article 32 hearing for Commander Brumby. With the cooperation of Detective Katlin Sawyer, Mr. Brumby will be transferred into our custody late this afternoon. Mr. Roberts you will be lead counsel for..."

"Sir, with all due respect..." Bud had paled visibly, his first thought being that he would have to defend Brumby. No way was he going to defend the bastard that did this to his friend.

"...the prosecution and Commander Imes will sit second chair. Is that a problem, Commander?" AJ saw Bud's color return, but the apprehension that hung over the room was suffocating, all the officers waiting for the defense assignments.

"No, Sir."

"Good."

"Sir, I respectfully request that I be appointed as lead counsel for the prosecution. This is no reflection on Mr. Robert's abilities..."

"Request denied."

"But, Sir"

"That is the end of it, Mr. Rabb. If you still feel the need to discuss anything to do with this case further, we can do it privately. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir."

"I know people this will be a particularly difficult case, however it is one I intend to see handled to completion in a military court under JAG jurisdiction. Everything, I mean everything will be done by the book. Is that clear?" Watching everyone nod their agreement and hearing the sporadic 'Aye, Sir', AJ started to continue only to be interrupted by Tiner's entrance.

"Sir, Commander Allison Broadhurst has arrived."

"Show her in, Tiner."

"Yes, Sir."

A confused hush fell over the conference room, but the minute Jason Tiner returned with the tall Australian Officer, all the pieces started to fall into place and the confusion lifted like a cloud.

"People, this is Commander Allison Broadhurst. At my request the Commandant of the Royal Australian Navy has kindly sent the Commander to serve as lead defense counsel for Commander Brumby. Please insure she gets our complete cooperation and she is afforded all that she requires just as if she were another member of our team. Please have a seat, Commander."

Allison Broadhurst took a seat at the far end of the large table eyeing her new co-workers cautiously insuring her composure was completely in place. Glancing surreptitiously around the table, her eyes fell on Sarah Mackenzie and then moved to the Harmon Rabb. She had requested their service records upon her arrival, wanting to know as much as she could about the key players She had to admit she admired the Marine, for her composure considering all the circumstances surrounding her alleged assault.

"Commander Broadhurst will obviously require a second chair and that will be..."

"I'll take it, Sir. It would be an honor to work with the Commander on this case."

The stiflingly silence that suddenly hung over the conference room would have suffocated an entire nation, all eyes turning towards Lt. Lauren Singer. Their stares were not only filled with annoyance, were not only filled with disbelief, but they were filled with horror that a co-worker, an associate should so eagerly request to help defend the man who had violated one of their own. Everyone forgot their swore duty, the premise that he was presumed innocent until proven guilty, the idea that they didn't have to like or believe in their client, for that split second everyone just felt betrayed.

"What makes you feel that you are up to the task, Lieutenant?" Even AJ Chegwidden was taken aback at the quick offering of assistance from Lauren Singer.

"I'm the one that obviously is the least emotionally involved, Sir. I feel that I would be able to aid Commander Broadhurst in proving our client's innocence."

Lieutenant Lauren Singer's last comment filled the suffocating atmosphere with a deathly chill that would have frozen the tropics and left them a desolate frozen wasteland. Quickly, but fully composed Admiral AJ Chegwidden retook command of the meeting, before he had a full scale war on his hands and his own feelings of betrayal swan to the surface for all to see.

"Very well, Lieutenant. Consider it done. Now if there is nothing else, you're all dismissed."

Everyone sat in silent disbelief for a moment longer watching Commander Allison Broadhurst and Lauren Singer leave the conference room together.

"Let's get to work, people. Colonel, Commander, a moment please." AJ watched his officers file out, some glancing back at Mac and Harm. Mac offered a weak smile and Harm looked like if he attempted to move an inch he would explode into a million pieces.

"Commander, Colonel I know this is going to be a difficult for all of us..." AJ was unceremoniously interrupted by the first words that Harmon Rabb had uttered since Singer's statement.

"Not apparently for Lieutenant Singer, Sir." Harm jaw twitched uncontrollably and his hands were clasped firmly in front of him.

"Harm, the Lieutenant is just doing her job. Let it go."

"Let it go! Let it go! What the hell is wrong with you Mac, she all but called you a liar. She clearly intimated that Brumby was innocent!" Harm had stood totally incensed, totally confused at Mac's lack of any apparent feelings of betrayal. He started to pace like a cornered animal caught in the confines of a small cage.

"He is innocent, Harm. Until proven guilty. It's as simple as that."

"Mac, don't give me that lawyer crap. I can't believe..."

"That is quite enough Commander. Sit down." AJ had known it was just a matter of time till even Harmon Rabb exploded, but the look he saw in the Commander's eyes he remembered as one he had only seen in the jungles of Vietnam so long ago.

"But, Admiral..."

"I said sit down, Commander. Now!" He had wondered how long it was going to take for his Senior Attorney to finally have the events of the last two months overwhelm his reason and his rationality.

"Your outburst, Commander is the perfect segway needed as to why I detained you and the Colonel. Since we will be conducting the Article 32 hearing here, I feel it best that neither of you attend the hearings, except of coarse as witnesses if called."

"You can't be serious, Admiral! Admiral, please how can you ask us something like that!" Harmon Rabb stood again, this time his hands were clenched white fists at his side and his body language clearly spoke of the rage that was burning within.

"I just did Commander. Would you perhaps feel better if I made it a direct order?"

"No, Sir, but respectfully the reasons behind your unreasonable request would be appreciated." Harm saw the Admiral tense visibly at the tone in his voice, but at this point all he wanted were answers from his CO even though he clearly understood he was treading in dangerous waters.

"Not that I have any intention of explaining this request, I will tell you this. I do not want the outcome of this case jeopardized in any way by even a hint of impropriety. You Commander are a loose canon and your pit bull tenacity will only hurt this case carried on the waves of revenge. Now if there is nothing else?" AJ stood and watched in shocked surprise as Commander Harmon Rabb turned and left the conference room, all military protocol forgotten.

"Damn it!" AJ slammed his fist on the table, the small sign of exposed anger so out of character that it made Sarah Mackenzie jump.

"Sir?" Mac had watched the exchange between the two officers in hushed silence, not wanting to further incense her CO or further push Harm closer to the edge.

"And do you have anything to add Colonel?" AJ tried to soften his demeanor when he turned towards Sarah Mackenzie.

"No, Sir. Just that it has been extremely difficult for Commander Rabb and..."

"And you Colonel, how are you?"

"I'm holding up, Sir. I'm learning to deal with the memories. I am a bit anxious about the hearing and...well the Commander, Sir. If it hadn't been for him, Sir I don't think..." Mac stopped suddenly self-conscious discussing Harm with the Admiral, no matter how close they were.

"Mac, that's understandable. Remember sometimes it's easier to deal with your own demons, than those that violate the person you love."

"Yes so I'm learning, Sir."


Mac exited JAG Headquarters scanning the grounds against the blinding winter sun for Harm, her concern evident on her face when she didn't notice him at first. When she finally spotted him in the corner of the patio area among the shadows, she approached him quickly.

"Thought you might need this, Sailor." She laid Harm's coat around his shoulders letting her fingers caress the base of his neck, making sure they were not in the line of anyone's vision before she touched him. It was hard not to touch him when they were at the office, especially when he needed her.

"Thanks." Harm enjoyed the brief touch of the woman he loved, that was now spreading a warmth throughout his body even against the chill of the winter morning and the hate in his heart.

"Harm, talk to me."

"I don't know what happened. I just snapped." Harm avoided Mac's eyes, knowing if anyone, she could see the raging vengeance he still felt in his heart.

"I've never seen Harmon Rabb just snap. That just doesn't happen."

"You've never seen Harmon Rabb this much in love before either. When I think how close I came to losing everything, to losing you. When I think what Brumby did to you, to us." He wanted to hold her to be sure she was real, she was with him, but he continued without even taking the hand he wanted so to hold.

"All those times before...before I admitted openly you were my world, it was even hard back then to face the fact that you could be hurt. The poachers, the marine at Red Rock, Moshak, Coster, Sokol. That night on the Watertown, when I thought you had died in my arms. Back then I could deal because I had some control. I could find a way to help you. Now, I'm forced to the other side of the wall and I can't get to you. I can't help anymore and I'm filled with such overwhelming hate."

Sarah Mackenzie laid her hand discretely on Harm's leg under the table and squeezed his thigh. "If you really love me then realize you're just where I need you the most. By my side, day and night. Not in some courtroom fighting to crucify Brumby, or in the brig because of an act of blind revenge. Please, Harm. Revenge will not quench your emotions, no more than salt water can quench a man's thirst."

Harmon Rabb listened to all Sarah Mackenzie was saying, but he was having difficulty hearing the meaning of the words. He found more love with her than he thought that he would ever find in his life, but even the intensity of her love couldn't calm the burning hate he felt for Mic Brumby. Sarah Mackenzie may have been at "ground zero", but the waves from the "kill zone" washed over him day in and day out intensifying his uncontrollable need for blind revenge.


SPECIAL CRIME DIVISION
METRO POLICE
WASHINGTON, DC
1100HRS (EST)


"Sawyer."

"Katlin, it's Mac. Feel like a quick lunch?"

"What happened to tall, dark and incredible?"

"He's fine, thank you. Just need some girl talk. 1230 at BellaDonna sound OK?"

"You got it. I'll see you then."

Katlin Sawyer held the receiver in her hand after the call was disconnected, an uneasy ache starting in the pit of her stomach. They had made an instant connection since Mac's assault, they had spent time together as friends and now she sensed something was on her mind more than a quick lunch and girl talk. More than discussing her rape. Something much more.


BELLADONNA
WASHINGTON, DC
1245HRS (EST)


Sarah Mackenzie sat at a corner table deep in thought when Katlin Sawyer arrived. The detective instinctively for some unexplained reason went into "police" mode, intending to find out what her friend probably had no intention of revealing forthrightly.

"Hey, I guess a penny wouldn't be enough for your thoughts today."

"A hundred dollar bill might buy you a sentence or two."

"Yea, well this is going to really be quick lunch then, because on my civil servant salary I can barely afford to pay attention."


They sat in silence after they completed their meal and Katlin watched as Mac played with her coffee. They had talked about Harm, about her first day back, about her handling the memories of the assault, about Lt. Singer, about the case, about the Admiral's orders...they talked about everything except the true turmoil that was raging under the surface calm that was Sarah Mackenzie.

"Spill it, Marine."

"Spill what?"

"Look, Mac I'm jealous that Harm is so incredible, I'm glad that you survived your first morning back, Lt. Singer is a conniving little bitch devoid of feelings, Brumby will be transferred to Naval Custody this afternoon and the Admiral's orders are surprising, but understandable and I am amazed at your ability to deal with what is probably the most horrific experience that a woman can have. With all that said, what the hell else is eating at you?"

"That transparent huh."

"Only transparent to a friend that's a cop."

"It's Harm."

"Now that's a surprise."

Mac went through the events of the weekend, the returned letters, Jesse Hawkin's involvement with Mic Brumby and Harm's all consuming need for revenge. Mac shuddered visibly when she finished verbalizing her fears, which only now made them seem more plausible, more threatening.

"Look, Mac. I've seen victim's boyfriends, husbands and significant others less stable than your stoic Commander go through the "revenge" phase and it is natural. It is an inevitable product of a rape and of the human despair and fear they illicit."

"Katlin, that may very well be, but I've seen the look he now has in his eyes before. It scared me then and it is scaring the shit out of me now. I can't lose him. Not now. I can't have him throw away his life for me. For what that son-of-a-bitch did to me."

"Whoa, back up. When before?"

Mac relayed to Katlin all the events surrounding Diane's death, their uncanny similarities, the two years of hidden grief Harm had been through and the confrontation with Hobarth on the Norfolk dock.

"Thank god he doesn't listen to Country Music or he would also be suicidal. Do you really think he would have shot Hobarth?"

"I don't know. I believe that everyone is capable of murder. He's not the same person he was back then, but I just don't know."

"Mac, do you want me to talk to him?"

"No. I guess I just needed a non military shoulder."

"Well, that's me. Discipline isn't even in my vocabulary. Look, Mac the only thing I can tell you is stay close to him, keep talking to him and keep showing him all he has to lose if he tries anything stupid. It will help both of you get through this. If I can help in any way you have my word I will. I promise, Marine. You have my word."


CENTRAL TRANSFER CENTER
METRO PD
WASHINGTON, DC
1530HRS (EST)


Katlin Sawyer pulled into the parking lot determined to make sure that Mic Brumby's transfer into military custody went off without a hitch. She wasn't happy that AJ had called in the favors of a lifetime and that the Attorney General had agreed to relinquish civilian jurisdiction, but she knew under the UCMJ, rape was a capital offense and punishable by death which made the whole thing a bit more palpable. Maybe the military court system could accomplish what the civilian court system sometimes, let slip through the cracks when it came to successfully prosecuting cases of rape.

Parking, she noticed the Marshal's Van pull up and stop directly behind the rear exit to the building. She had a strange apprehension starting to crawl into her consciousness, as she surveyed the parking lot and the adjacent areas. Something just didn't feel right, there was something that just didn't sit right causing her to instinctively release the safety on her weapon. She started to walk quickly towards the van, still surveying the area cautiously and only on her second pass did she notice the blue vehicle parked close to the building between two looming SUVs.

"I'll be damned." Katlin walked slowly to the driver's side of the vehicle catching the insignia the closer she got, her apprehension rising immediately when she recognized the driver. Suddenly startled, she watched Harmon Rabb turn shaking his head at the sight of her.

"Don't you believe in footsteps, Detective."

"Not when I don't want to attract attention. What the hell are you doing here, Rabb?" Katlin moved back allowing Harm to exit the vehicle, the apprehension that had been driving inside her suddenly going in over-drive. As Harmon Rabb leaned back into the car to retrieve his keys, she noticed the 9MM tucked securely in the waistband of his khakis.

"As a member of the military branch that will be prosecuting Commander Brumby, I have a right to be here." Harm moved around Katlin and started towards the building exit, ignoring her piercing stare. Only when he felt the forceful hold on his arm did he stop.

"Cut the Crap, Rabb. What the hell is the real reason? What is the reason you need this!" Remembering a seal move that Josh had taught her so long ago, she swiftly removed Harm's weapon and held in her hand out of his reach.

"Sawyer, let me have..." Harm stood and glared at the ice queen who stood her ground, her stare as intense as his.

"Revenge is that what this is all about? Is it, Rabb? If you ask me it's about simple stupidity? You and Mac spent 4 plus years, convincing yourselves you wouldn't, you couldn't, you shouldn't and now you two have found something special, something right and your willing to throw it all away for what! For him! For some son-of-bitch! Look at him, Rabb is he worth it! Is he worth losing everything for! Are you going to let him win! Look at him Rabb, is killing him worth a lifetime with the woman you love!"

Just as Harmon Rabb turned to look at the man shackled in the custody of two US Marshals for the first time; he saw the afternoon sun glint off an object on the roof of a building across the complex; he watched as Detective Katlin Sawyer moved suddenly in front of him; and the last words that echoed in his head was her forceful shout of "GUN...GUN...GUN...GUN..."


JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VA
1600HRS (EST)


"Are you all insane!" Admiral AJ Chegwidden finally lost all semblance of composure as he stared in disbelief at the three officers that stood in front of him. This was impossible, this was inconceivable, this just did not happen...not under his damn command.