Title: Heart Hush
Author: mshdv, mshdv@aol.com
Summary: What happens when Harm finally comes back after 2 years?
Disclaimer: JAG characters portrayed belong to JAG, CBS and Paramount Television. No copyright infringement intended. Heart Hush belongs to the superb Reba McEntire and MCA Records. All other characters depicted are purely fictional and any similarities to actual people are purely coincidental.

Author's Notes: All songs belong to Faith Hill.


Heart Hush


Part 1 -- Returning Hearts


SENATE OFFICE COMPLEX
WASHINGTON, DC
MEMORIAL DAY 2001
0500HRS (EST)


Senator Bobbi Latham stood at the window in her office watching the sunrise over Washington. It was the most breathless sunrise she had ever seen. The rays caught on all the stone monuments that graced the capitol and turned them into reflective spires radiating brilliant shards of light everywhere. It was going to be a perfect day, one she had been anticipating for months.

Bobbie turned as her unhappy aide brought the coffee and the daily Washington, New York, Dallas, Chicago and Los Angeles Newspapers. Her morning ritual of coffee, messages and endless hours reading all the major papers was about to begin even though it was a long Holiday Weekend.

Knowing her time was limited this morning, she shuffled through the papers deposited on her desk. The headline on the Washington Post caught her eye.

'SEMPER FI MARINE. 135 YEARS OF WAITING!!!!'

Bobbi couldn't control the smile that crossed her face as she sat down on the couch to read the article. It had taken more favors than she could count, but Jennifer Lyons had done well!

  Washington DC - May 31, 2001
Jennifer Lyons

'Today is a historic day for our nation and for all women everywhere. The President of the United States of America on behalf of Congress will be awarding the Congressional Medal of Honor to only the second woman in history to receive our country's highest award for valor. The recipient is Colonel Sarah Mackenzie; a Marine presently assigned to the Judge Advocate General's Office in Falls Church, Va.'

'Senator Bobbi Latham (D,IL) nominated Colonel MacKenzie for the commendation after her rescue of the Senator, the U.S. Ambassador and the Ambassador's daughter from the U.S. Embassy in Nigeria following the building's bombing and terrorist siege. Serving temporarily with a Marine Force Recon Team, Colonel MacKenzie, with no fear for her own safety...'

Bobbi Latham didn't have to read on. She tossed the paper to the side and rubbed her eyes trying to erase the memories of that time from her mind. The stench of death still engulfed her every time her thoughts went back to that week of terror. The realization of her own fragile mortality gripped her like a vise every time her dreams willed her to walk the bombed building ringing with the wailing screams of hostages being executed one by one. She may have been raised on the streets of Detroit, but nothing had prepared her for what she had seen. Nothing in one's life could ever prepare them for the needless waste of human lives she had witnessed.

The Senator walked to her window and recalled the first time she had met Mac. At first they were silent allies fighting for Sandra Gilbert's rights in the military; then they were adversaries vying for the love of the same man; then they were acquaintances interacting in Washington Politics; then they were friends realizing their similarities and strengths. Now they were best friends sharing the loneliness both their careers had inflicted on their personal lives. Bobbi glanced at her watch as she called for her car, grabbed her jacket and headed for Dulles International silently praying her best friend would understand what she had done.



SARAH MACKENZIE'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN
0900HRS (EST)


The sleek black limousine adorned with the two American flags on either fender came to a stop in front of Colonel Sarah Mackenzie's apartment. Mac watched from the window as the young officer opened the car door for the Admiral. Well, I guess it's time Marine. She slipped on her uniform jacket and looked at her reflection in the hall mirror. She adjusted the silver-colored spread eagles, denoting her rank as Colonel, as she heard the Admiral's knock.

"Well, are you ready Marine?"

"Yes, Sir. As ready as I'll ever be." Mac smiled, walked reflectively into the hall and shut the door quietly behind her.


DULLES INTERNATIONAL
WASHINGTON, DC
0800HRS (EST)


The handsome naval aviator deplaned and looked around as he entered the terminal area. When he spotted the woman standing off to the side of the heavy foot traffic he smiled his signature grin as he made his way through the congested gate area.

"Bobbi, it's so great to see you. I've missed you." He took her in his arms and gave her a tight hug still smiling uncontrollably.

"It is great to see you too, Commander." Bobbi hugged him back enjoying the sensation of his arms around her again. A warming feeling that had been silenced so long ago through necessity.

The Senator noticing the attention their little scene was receiving from the milling passengers broke the embrace. "Let's get out of here and go somewhere more private."

"Your lead, Ma'am. I know though you've guessed that by now." Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. took Senator Bobbi Latham by the arm and made their way through the airport crowd. He had to smile as his thoughts took him to the events that had led them to his point...to the feelings that had finally brought him back to where he belonged.


SOMEWHERE IN WASHINGTON, DC
0930HRS (EST)


The Admiral glanced at the Marine who sat silently at his side. She was a vision in her dress uniform, the rank insignias catching the bright sunlight even through the limousine's tinted windows. This spunky Marine had been through it all and had managed to rise above any adversity. He was proud of having her in his command. Damn proud!

"You know Colonel, we aren't going to a funeral."

"Yes Sir, I know."

The stoic expression on her face softened the Admiral's gaze. Not normally pre-disposed to showing any outward emotions to those under his command, he still turned and took Mac's hand.

"Sarah, I know the investigation into your worthiness as a recipient of this honor has taken its toll on you, but you've made it! This is the greatest gift our country can give to any of us who serve so proudly to protect her beliefs. I'm damn proud of you Sarah Mackenzie. I don't think I've been prouder of anyone in my life."

Mac touched by the Admiral's words turned to face him. She knew he was a man of few words and this speech had been hard for him. She smiled at him and squeezed his hand.

"Thank you, Sir. Believe me I know what an honor it is. One I never thought I'd be worthy of and probably would have never received if it wasn't for your support over the last 6 years. Thank you for your faith in me, Sir. It's just that..." Mac grew silent remembering the words she had learned to live with for what seemed an eternity and which had hardened her heart beyond repair.

<Tear don't you fall, he's gone let him go. Eyes don't look back, down that empty road. Lips you may move, but don't you say too much and oh please, please heart hush>


VIETNAM VETERANS MEMORIAL
WASHINGTON, DC
0945HRS (EST)


The limousine pulled into the restricted government parking space at the War Memorial and Mac exited the vehicle holding the two single red roses.

"I won't be long Admiral."

"Take your time, Colonel. We have plenty of time to get to the ceremony." AJ shook his head as he watched Colonel Sarah MacKenzie walk down the path towards her destination. Her only connection to the man she would ever love was the memorial that stood for the courageous sacrifice of so many lost souls including his father, Harmon Rabb Sr.

"Damn you Rabb." The Admiral mumbled under his breath as he lost sight of Mac in the crowd of mourners.

Mac stopped and tenderly touched the name etched in the cool granite. She lovingly placed the roses at the foot of the panel bearing his name.

"Today is for you Sir. Today is for all of you. I wish you were here to share this honor with me." Mac straightened and stiffly saluted as a single tear slipped down her cheek.

<Tear don't you fall, he's gone let him go. Eyes don't look back, down that empty road. Lips you may move, but don't you say too much and oh please, please heart hush>


NICK'S COFFEE SHOP
WASHINGTON, DC
0930(HRS) EST


Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. and Senator Bobbi Latham made their way to a discreetly hidden table in the small coffee shop on the outskirts of Washington.

Bobbi watched as the waitress came and took their order, the girl lingering much longer than necessary to take Harm's order. Obviously taken by him, Bobbi wondered if this brainless twit even had the memory to remember what she had ordered only a minute ago.

"Excuse me. He ordered a number "1". That is "1" more than "0". Can you count that high?" Bobbi obviously irritated still managed to give the confused waitress her best politically correct smile.

Harm looked at Bobbi and just shook his head a smile of understanding crossing his handsome face. "Nothing changes, still as direct as ever, Senator."

"What did I once tell you...Is a pig's ass pork? Besides, I didn't bring you 10,000 miles to have some mindless teeny bopper stroke your ego. You do that well enough yourself."

"Ok Bobbi, so why am I here two weeks early? You and the Admiral were a big part of my reassignment to JAG and my orders don't have me reporting for another month. I was going to spend leave with my Mother and Frank in La Jolla and visit Gram in Bellville. I don't get the change in plans..."

"Commander, you have been on carrier duty for what 2 years now? You haven't been living under a rock or has all the lack of oxygen in the wild blue yonder finally adversely affected your brain function? Today is the biggest day in Colonel Sarah Mackenzie's life and your going to be there!"

Bobbi swore she saw Harm pale visibly, but as quickly as she identified his reaction she saw him gain back the indifferent composure he had worn like a shield for as long as she had known him.

"Bobbi, I don't think that is such a good idea. If she wanted me here, she would have said something. Would have sent an invitation. Would have..." Bobbi cut Harm short.

"When I first met you remember what I told you Congresswoman DeLong's impression of you was. She thought you were arrogant, pig-headed and stubborn. I never thought I would add cowardly to the list." Bobbi knew her words were harsher than she had intended, but she also knew no other way to get the aviator's attention except by making him angry.

"Bobbi that's hardly...Mac and I have well...drifted apart over the last two years. She has moved on and so have I. It was her choice as much as mine." Harm's eyes darkened as he glared at Bobbi trying to desperately regain the rationality that had always masked his true feelings.

The waitress brought their food, but Harm didn't even raise his eyes to acknowledge the girl's continued flirting. He knew his return to JAG was going to be the most difficult thing he would do in his life. As difficult as his first mission after returning to active flight status. He also knew he had not sorted out how he was going to deal with Mac day to day. He had counted on the extra leave time to get his head straight. But now Bobbi had changed the timeframe drastically. Now there was no more time!

The Senator played with her food, finally pushing it away with annoyance. "Commander, you may think you have convinced yourself of that, but why is her picture the only one you have in your quarters? Why is it the only one you carry with you in the pocket of your flight suit? Why is there another one in your F-14?"

"How in God's name would you know any of that? You sound like Webb!" Harm's annoyance was growing heatedly with every word.

"Webb, is a whole other story. Harm, I didn't survive in Washington by not knowing the currents of the waters I was treading. Do you think I would have orchestrated all of this if I wasn't sure of the outcome?"

"Where does Mac stand? Since you think you've figured me out so well, what about Mac? How did you get her to agree to all these covert games?" Harm's voice though still irritated suddenly took on a decisively hesitant tone.

"She doesn't know any of this. She doesn't know your even here. Hell, she doesn't even know your coming back to JAG."

"So there is a flaw in your plan that could affect the outcome." Harm's heart had hoped for a different answer. That Mac knew he was coming and that she needed him as much as he needed her. That she had forgiven him for his one moment of weakness.

" The word flaw is not part of my vocabulary. Mac may not know you are coming, but as her best friend I know what's in her heart. Or at least what's left of it. When you went to her that last night and left the next day without a word it nearly killed that hard Marine. All that time we spent in that Nigerian root cellar her dreams were of you, Rabb. She didn't know if she would survive, if any of us would survive. But in her short fitful bouts of sleep her ramblings were of you." Bobbi bit her tongue as she slipped her hand in the pocket of her jacket and touched the letter.

"You knew about that night?" Harm was horrified that Mac had told her. No he was horrified at what he had done. No he was horrified at what he hadn't done! Want he hadn't said!

"I didn't know for a long time. But as I once told you I am nosy by nature. Mac had to get it out one night before the memory consumed her, I was her friend, I was there and I listened."

"Bobbi, look I don't want to ruin this day for her. What you told me is all speculation on your part. Any feelings Mac may have for me are all speculation. I won't hurt her by..." Harm's voice trailed off as Bobbie Latham's icy stare and biting words stilled his retaliatory comments.

"Rabb, let me tell you this. If you don't come to the ceremony and the reception I will tell her you are here. I will tell her you refused to see her. Refused to come to the ceremony and I will see to it that your return to JAG will be as difficult as I can possibly make it." Bobbi's voice was colder than Harm had ever heard it and her threats incensed him.

"Senator don't threaten me into a relationship I'm not ready to commit to and don't use my career as leverage." Harm's words were biting and his tone even caused the caustic Senator to pause, but she knew she had fueled the fire necessary.

Senator Latham stood the conversation over as far as she was concerned. She paid the bill and turned to exit the restaurant. She leaned back over Harm, who was still seething at her innuendoes.

"You'll be there Commander, but don't expect to see the person you left behind 2 years ago. She's gone. Yes she's still a strong woman, not your usual type. She's not neurotic Annie. She's not Jordan, who could have used a shrink herself. She's not Rene Peterson a woman without the sense to use the brains God gave her. Commitment to a strong woman is your problem. Commitment to a woman who loves you with all her heart scares you to death. Well, you can go through life with the brainless and willing or you can have a future with the woman you love and the one who equals what I thought to be your integrity. It's your choice. Make the right one, Commander."

Harm still in shock watched as Bobbi walked away and saw her turn one last time. "By the way, don't worry about seeing your family. They are all here."

Harm stood stiffly and exited the restaurant into the blinding May sunlight. He was numb as Bobbi's vehement words played over in his head. How could he have done what he did? How could he have left her the way he did? How could he have not talked to her over the last two years? A card, a letter, an email was all he had hesitantly sent. He couldn't see her yet. He couldn't go to the ceremony. He needed time. But in his heart Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. knew this wasn't about him anymore. It was about them. The sands of time had sifted through the hourglass and he was scared to death.


ARLINGTON NATIONAL CEMETARY
TOMB OF THE UNKNOWNS
ARLINGTON, VA
1130HRS (EST)


The day had turned into as brilliant a day as God could have provided. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, nor a drop of humidity in the air and the slight breeze made the day as perfect as one could ask for. The crowd that congregated for the ceremony was larger than normal for the traditional laying of the Presidential Wreath at the Tomb of the Unknowns. They had come this day to also honor the valor of an exceptional Marine and an exceptional woman.

Colonel Sarah MacKenzie mounted the platform with Senator Bobbi Latham at her side. The events since Nigeria had taken it's toll on her more than she had been willing to admit to anyone, even herself. The General Counsel's investigation into her worthiness as a Medal recipient had seemed endless. All her past indiscretions once again were laid at her feet for the world to see. Eddie, Chris, her alcoholism, her Article 32, Dalton all reasons in her own mind of her unworthiness. But her exemplary military record and her successes at JAG provided the momentum needed to impel the Medal approval process through Congress.

"Don't tell me your nervous, Marine?" Bobbi watched Mac carefully, as a flurry of emotions played across her beautiful face.

"Marines don't allow themselves to get nervous, Senator." A small smile came to Mac's lips as she caught the expression on her best friend's face. "The Senator seems a bit unsettled. Too many military types around for comfort?"

"Cut the Semper Fiing Marine...we better take our seats. They are about to start." Bobbi sat directly next to Mac, the First Lady on her other side. As she looked at the Admiral returning to his seat, she noticed the grim expression on his face and the slight shake of his head. Damn it to hell! Had she been wrong about his integrity, his honor and his love for the woman that sat next to her?

As the round of political speeches began, the only other audible sounds that could be heard came from the second row as A.J. Roberts squirmed in his mother's arms reaching for his godmother. "Mi..Mac..Mum. Mi..Mac..Mum." Harriet Roberts tried unsuccessfully to control her son, finally handing him off to Bud in exasperation. Comfortable in his father's arms, A.J. quieted, and played with something insignificant on his father's uniform.

Mac smiled lovingly at A.J.'s ministrations. She adored the little boy, knowing in her heart, he represented the child she would never have. Mac's vision lingered on the row reserved for the Medal recipient's family and friends. Mac glanced reflectively at the row filled with people who had been strangers 6 years ago, but who now represented all the family she would ever have, would ever want to have, except for one. The Admiral, always the controlled JAG. Bud and Harriet, dear friends and parents of her Godchild. Uncle Matt, who had saved her from herself so many years ago. Commander Mic Brumby, a friend that traveled 16,000 miles to honor her accomplishments. Trish and Frank Burnett and Gram Sarah Rabb, who had given her the love, support and the ability to regain her sense of worth that she had only felt before with one...

Brought back to reality, Colonel Sarah Mackenzie stood at attention and saluted as she watched the President of the United States place the wreath at the white marble sarcophagus that held the remains of the lost souls from past wars who personally belonged to no one but a grateful nation.

"Thank you. Together on this day we offer a prayer for peace and a tribute to those who defend it. Together on this day we say thank you to those who step forward to safe guard our security and our ideals. What better way to express our gratitude then by presenting this country's highest military decoration for valor." The President turned and introduced the Senator from Illinois.

"Senator Latham"

"Mr. President"

As Senator Bobbi Latham made her way to the podium the sun shifted in the brilliant sky and her eyes caught the outline of the handsome naval aviator standing by the last row of the reserved section. A fleeting smile of satisfaction crossed Bobbi's face. It was a beginning. It was definitely a beginning.

Mac stood at attention as the Senator made her way to the podium, listening with humility to the words of her friend, not noticing the presence of the man she loved in the crowd with tears of pride and love in his brilliant eyes.

"Since the first 305 woman reservists were admitted into the Marine Corps in 1918, woman have served the Corp honorably dedicated to upholding our nation's beliefs. Not since Dr. Mary Walker was awarded this honor in 1866, has a woman received our nation's highest award for valor in action against an enemy force. Today is a special day for our country, our Armed Forces and for all the men and women who serve so proudly in all branches of the United States Military. For her conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity and at the risk of her own life above and beyond the call of duty, Colonel Sarah Mackenzie, United States Marine Corp, an American hero is hereby awarded the Medal of Honor."

Mac watched as Bobbi Latham handed the Congressional Medal of Honor to the President and straightened proudly as she felt the medal being placed around her neck.

"Your nation thanks you and may God bless you."

"Thank you Sir." Mac shook the President's hand and proudly saluted.

As the Marine Corp Band played the Marine Corp Hymn, Sarah Mackenzie accepted the words of thanks from the First Lady and hugged Bobbi Latham. "Even this is not enough for saving my life..." The trenchant Senator couldn't control her voice as it cracked with emotion.

"Being able to do it is all the thanks I need." They both knew their friendship was forever, as they descended the platform both preparing themselves for the onslaught of the waiting press.

As Mac looked out over the crowd preparing for the assault, her eyes caught him standing behind the last row proudly saluting her. Memories flooded her mind, tears burned her eyes, and an audible gasp escaped her lips as she almost lost her footing on the platform stairs. Bobbi feeling Mac suddenly lean heavily against her steadied her with an arm on her elbow. Her friend's eyes were pools of pain, loss and longing. As she followed Mac's gaze, Senator Bobbi Latham for a fleeting moment doubted what she had orchestrated. But when she saw the pain turn to love she knew she had made the right decision.

Mac recovered her practiced Military composure as she chastised herself for her mind's hallucination. As her gaze drifted unconsciously to the same place, the apparition was gone. Again, the words played over in her head and she visibly stiffened as she greeted all the well wishers with a hardened hushed heart.

<Tear don't you fall, he's gone let him go. Eyes don't look back, down that empty road. Lips you may move, but don't you say too much and oh please, please heart hush.>


Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. leaned heavily against the cool white marble at the entrance to the Tombs trying to regain the rhythm of his breathing. He had never imagined it would be easy to see her again, but he had never thought he would feel such intense emptiness, such blind desire, as the vivid memories of that night, their only night, pushed any rational thoughts from his mind. Not since he looked at Diane's bloodied body wrapped in the cold black plastic had he felt such devastating pain. Not since he stood on the apex of that Russian Mountain and stared into the misted valley below had he felt such a loss. And never in his life had he felt such overwhelming love, desire and pride for another person that had touched his heart.

As Harm made his way to his rental with the pain in Mac's eyes burned torturously into his soul, he slowed his pace noticing Clayton Webb leaning on the front bumper of the SUV.

"Welcome back Rabb. Leaving so soon?"

"Clay. Standing guard?" The emotions of the day forced the sarcastic tone into Harm's voice. Regaining some degree of civility, Harm extended his hand to Clayton Webb. No matter what part he had played in Bobbi Latham's scheme, he was still a friend. No matter what he had put the Jag Office through in the past with all his covert operations and half-truths, he was only doing his job.

"Action causes reaction, Rabb. You should know that by now."

Harm shook his head as he remotely unlocked the vehicle and opened the passenger door. "Tell Bobbi, I can't do this to Mac. I can't ruin the reception for her. What I need to say to her needs to be said between us privately. Tell the Senator, I now know the why and now I have to come to grips with the how."

"Then we will see you at the Admiral's tonight?" Clayton Webb heard no response as he watched the Navigator slip into the bridge traffic and head back towards the Capitol.


When Clayton Webb found Bobbie Latham talking with the Admiral, he knew he would never admit his own love for the strong Marine. Her heart would always belong to the Naval Aviator and in turn his love would always belong to the strong Marine Colonel.

"Well?" Bobbi turned as she saw Clay approaching.

"He's gone. Home I presume."

"Good." Bobbi obviously pleased with the Commander's reaction drew an upraised eyebrow from the Admiral.

"Would someone care to enlighten me?"

"Rabb did exactly what a man in love with honor and integrity would do in this situation. Admiral, he's going to let her have this day without the past to cloud the experience and possibly ruin the present. He's a lot like you A.J."

"Women. If he was a lot like me he wouldn't have left her the way he did in the first place." The Admiral mumbled to himself and shook his head as the three co-conspirators made their way to the Congressional Reception.


ADMIRAL CHEGWIDDEN'S RESIDENCE
MCCLEAN, VA
1400HRS (EST)


Harm pulled into the Admiral's driveway, grabbed his bags and made his way up the stairs to the front door. Once in the foyer he noticed the hand written note on the hall table.

  'Rabb,
You can stow your gear in the second room to the left at the top of the stairs. Everything you need should be either in the kitchen or the den. Welcome back, Commander.
A.J.C.'


Harm headed to the kitchen grabbed a beer from the fridge and stepped onto the deck that encircled the house, which was backed against a densely foliaged greenbelt. He leaned against the roughened redwood railing letting the serenity of the scene sooth the unstoppable ache that had grown in intensity since he had returned to Washington. For the first time he wished he could take back the last two years, the worse and the best years of his life. His mind drifted to another time another place, the only intimate memory of the woman he could ever love etched in his mind forever.


MAY 25, 1999 - HARM'S APARTMENT


Their goodbye had been brief necessitated by their surroundings, the watchful waiting of the staff and the incessant ticking of the clock counting the minutes that would end the salvation he had found at JAG after the end of his aviation career. As he held her in his arms and felt her tears fall on his neck, four years of memories they had shared, words that they hadn't spoken, feelings that they hadn't explored all washed over him like a wave hitting the shore a consequence of the most violent storm.

Harm stood and shuddered at the memories that would never be his, events that he had never permitted himself to initiate. Navy regulations and their partnership had been his excuses not to let go and the last two years had slipped through time like fine sand through an hourglass.

He changed, grabbed the bottle of bourbon and turned the stereo on, his apartment still dark, bathed only in the moonlight streaming through the windows. He glanced at the one box that held all the accumulated memories of the last 5 years. The picture of Mac in front of the Stearman, the picture of Mac at the Nato Ball, the picture of Mac at the Sudanese Embassy, the picture of the two of them at Bud and Harriet's Wedding and of course the single picture of his Dad. The Wedding photo and the picture of his Dad had been the only ones openly displayed in his office, the rest hidden discreetly in a drawer of his desk. A picture of the one, who had left him so long ago, with feelings of love on tape... the only remembrances. A picture of the one, who he was leaving with... no remembrances of an intimate love at all.

As he emptied the contents of the box, the realization that there were no pictures of Meg, or Diane, or Annie, or Jordan or Kate or anyone else, brought him to the truth that he had fought so hard to deny. As Harm grabbed his keys and left the darkened apartment, the words from the stereo echoed in his head. 'How do you tell someone your letting go..'


MAY 25, 1999 - MAC'S APARTMENT


Harm's memories recalled him paralyzed in front of Mac's door for what seemed like an eternity. His heart willed his hand to knock, hoping she was home, hoping he would see his truth in her eyes.

As he watched her open the door, the surprise evident in her eyes caused his voice to falter. Harm walked past her into the darkened apartment, noticing the lack of any light except for the candles burning on the coffee table. He noticed the hesitation in her voice and the fact she wouldn't meet his eyes with hers. He watched as she left him silently and walked to the kitchen.

Harm remembered that in an instant he found himself closer to her then he had ever intended to be so quickly, but he knew no words could help either of them anymore, they simply had to allow themselves to feel. Immobilized between the kitchen counter and him he felt Mac tense and then weaken as he laid his hands gently on her shoulders. As he wrapped his arms around her, he remembered how she trembled, resting the weight of her body closely against him. His lips against her silken hair, his arms tightening around her, he felt her body warm against his and her desire for him evident as a small gasp escaped from her accelerated breathing.

Harm didn't remember at what point that night he finally let go of all his fear of feeling, all his fear of the consequences, and admitted his desperate need for her. As he felt her turn in his arms to face him, felt her arms encircle his neck, the excruciating movement of her body against his flamed a passion he had never experienced with another woman in his life. As he just stared at her, still apprehensive as to how far this could take them, he felt her parted lips on his, intense, longing, filled with the passion of a lifetime and fueled by the loneliness of the last 4 years. His rationality, composure and any doubts he had that he loved this one strong woman melted, when he deepened the kiss, the passion never ending, the desire everlasting, a lifetime of love shared in just one last night.


ADMIRAL CHEGWIDDEN'S RESIDENCE
MCCLEAN, VA
1700HRS (EST)
MAY 31, 2001


The Admiral returned home, his head pounding with the political machinations that always manifested themselves at events such as he had attended this day. Events organized to honor the valor of a military hero used to further orchestrate the agendas of some self-serving beauracrats. He wished the reception at his home tonight had remained just family and close friends, but the SECNAV and the Joint Chiefs had attached themselves to the affair like fleas to a dog.

A.J. noticed the Commander on the sunlit deck, the empty bottle of beer at his feet. In the kitchen he grabbed two bottles and made his way to the deck. Leaning on the railing next to Harm, A.J. handed the beer to him .

"Thank you, Sir."

Noticing memories of another time, another place in Harm's eyes, he stood silent for several moments, until he finally broke the heavily cloaked stillness that had surrounded them.

"Welcome back, Commander."

"It's good to be back, Sir."

"Is it?" A.J. couldn't help but notice the clouded expression in Harmon Rabb Jr.'s eyes. Eyes which at one time burned with the tenacity of a pit bull.

"It will be, Sir."

"I hope so, Commander. I hope so."

"Thank you for giving me the opportunity to return, Sir. I know you considered my departure two years ago as a step backward in my military career, but I hope you understand it was something I had to do and was in no way a reflection on you or your command."

"I didn't like it, but you are correct, son. I did understand your motives. So did it bring closure?"

"Yes, Sir. Closure to another part of my life."

"I'm glad." A.J. cleared his throat. "Since Colonel Mackenzie's departure from JAG and Brumby's return to Australia the office has been lacking the unorthodox, though somewhat effective, zeal and enthusiasm that the three of you seemed to throw into your investigations. It will be good to have you back, Rabb."

Evident confusion crossed Harm's face and the knot that formed in his stomach was excruciating. He calmed his voice. "I though Mac..Colonel Mackenzie was still assigned to JAG. Still your Chief of Staff."

"You are technically correct, she is still officially part of my chain of command, but she is now permanently assigned to Clayton Webb's Office."

The dread that consumed Harm at the thought of Mac participating in more than an occasional operation instigated by Clayton Webb assaulted the even tone in his voice. "She's CIA!"

"No, she is assigned to the Office of the Under Secretary of State." God, A.J. thought he sounded like a damn politician!

The distant steely tone in his Commanding Officer's voice told Harm his assumptions were correct, but that no more was to be said on the subject. Not just yet. The statement and the realization silenced them both. A.J. sensed Harm's overwhelming fear for Mac, the same overwhelming fear he had experienced each day since her request for re-assignment.

The Admiral straightened and glanced at his watch. "Commander we have guests coming in less than 3 hours and the caterers should be here momentarily." A.J. turned and made his way back into the house.

"Uniform of the day, Sir?"

"Hell no, Rabb. Informal attire." A.J. turned to face Harm. "Rabb, as long as you're in my home, its A.J."


MAC'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN
1730HRS (EST)


The limousine pulled up in front of Colonel Sarah Mackenzie's apartment. Bobbi Latham turned to her friend while she waited for the young officer to open Mac's door. "Pick you up about 8:00 for the Admiral's?"

"Bobbi, if you don't mind I think I'd like to drive myself. All this pomp and circumstance really made me uncomfortable today. I know you've arranged transportation for Uncle Matt, Gram Sarah, Frank and Trish, but I think this Marine will find her own way." Mac smiled as she exited the vehicle hoping her need for some time by alone didn't offend her friend.

"Hey Marine, wear the red dress." Bobbi shouted the words through the limousine window as the car pulled out into traffic. She remembered the last time Mac had worn that dress. That night Bobbi thought she would have to peel Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. off the ceiling. Webb was right action does cause reaction. Bobbi's mind clouded at the thought of Mac driving herself to the party. She hoped it wouldn't afford her the outlet she needed to run if the occasion arose. This wasn't going to be easy for either one of them, but the truth of their love wouldn't cease to exist because they both chose to ignore it or fight it.

The Senator shook her head as she reached for her cell phone; she wondered what it was like for one man to be able to so unnerve a strong woman, especially a Marine. Memories pushed to the back of her mind till recently flooded her consciousness. She did know, remembering how once a handsome Naval Aviator had managed to unnerve a stoic Congresswoman from Illinois.


Colonel Sarah MacKenzie was exhausted. She shed her uniform, made her way to the bathroom and prepared her bath. As she waited for the tub to fill with the gardenia essence surrounding her, she looked at her naked body in the mirror. The scars of her accomplishments appeared as permanent medals affixed to her perfect body.

"One hell of a resume, Marine." She thought dryly to herself.

The re-constructive surgeons had worked miracles, but her memories engraved the position of each wound forever in her mind. The faint scar below her breast line from the gunshot wound suffered during the drug intervention case in Del Rio, TX. The faint scars from the exploding shrapnel at the Nigerian Embassy. Her eyes ignored the scars from her childhood and fixated on the faint scar on her thigh.

As her fingers absently lingered on the spot, she swore she felt his hand there as he had tenderly bandaged her wound. She swore she felt the soft caress of his hand on her fever ravaged face as he promised her it would be alright, that he would get her through this. That had been the beginning of the end for Sarah Mackenzie.

Even through the impending delirium of her fever, the fear of being found and killed or worse, the feel of his hand on her face and the concern in his beautiful eyes made her admit that she would love her partner and her friend for eternity. Her heart was his always. There would never be anyone else that could fill her with the desire and passion she felt for him. Never in her world, never in her lifetime.

Mac stepped into the gardenia scented water and let its warmth soothe the ache the memories of him always elicited in her heart and body. The water played over her body gently caressing it, as if his hands were on her again, like that one night. That one and only night.


MAY 25, 1999 - MAC'S APARTMENT


Mac remembered feeling totally defeated as she sat curled on the couch in a tight ball. Another loss in her life, the magnitude of this one cut into her heart as if it was caught in a tangle of barbed wire. God help me! She had been so close to telling him the truth and risking his rejection. What was wrong with her, why couldn't she have just said the words, taken the risk, at least then she would know and maybe then she could let go.

And then he was there, with her, holding her, no words between them, just feelings. She remembered that neither one of them had imagined the intensity of their passion or how quickly it had driven them over the edge into the ecstasy that can only pass between two people in love. He had taken her to a place she had never been before with any man. As his desire for her matched her own, she knew she'd never find anyone again who could or would bring her to the edge of insanity fueled by the warmth of a body pressed against her own. The passion was never ending, the desire everlasting, a lifetime of love shared in one last night. Till the harsh light of dawn found her alone again..without a thought, without a glance, without a word.


ADMIRAL CHEGWIDDEN'S RESIDENCE
MCCLEAN, VA
2130HRS (EST)
MAY 31, 2001


The guests had been arriving in a steady stream, a few new faces, but most familiar friends, family and co-workers. Harm was initially uncomfortable, but as always he managed to mask his feelings with the indifferent composure he worn like a shield. Being able to see his family, Bud and Harriet, had been his salvation as thoughts of Mac's anticipated arrival made his head spin with apprehensive doubts. Doubts of her reaction. Doubts of his own. Doubts fueled by reality and confused by love.

Harm was home, surrounded by the people he loved. Surrounded by the people who loved him and meant the most to him in the world. He visited with Gram, Frank and his Mother and was fascinated at how much his Godson had grown as Bud and Harriet all but pulled an entire album of pictures out for him to see.

Bobbi Latham had kept her distance except for a nod of acknowledgement when she arrived. He noticed her pace distractedly with cellular phone in hand.

As the truth in Bobbi's words entered Harm's consciousness again, he suddenly felt like he was suffocating and retreated to the deck to practice for the millionth time what he would say to Mac. The pure and simple truth that he loved her was not going to be that pure and simple.

"Darling, there you are. You've been very quiet tonight." Trish Burnett leaned on the railing next to her son and took his hand.

"I'm sorry Mom. I just have a lot on my mind. My return has been a bit overwhelming."

"So how are you and Mac?" Trish noticed the defeat in her son's voice. A voice filled with doubts.

"I don't know Mom. I just don't know." Harm turned and noticed a slight bemused look on his mother's face.

"What?"

"It's just strange. I asked you a similar question before you went to Russia and your answer was quite different."

"Yea, well a lot has happened between Mac and I since then."

"More than leaving her for two years?"

"I didn't leave her. Well, actually I did, but I didn't leave to get away from her. I left to return to flying and..well..I did something incredibly stupid before I left. I've just never had any luck with personal relationships..with the women in my life."

"Maybe it's just the women you choose. Do you love her?"

Without hesitation Harm answered his Mother's direct question. "Yes, I can't remember anymore when I didn't." Harm was amazed at how easily the words had came out. How easily he was able to express the love he had for Sarah Mackenzie to his Mother. The truth was so pure and simple.

"Then you should just tell her. Why didn't you tell her before you left?"

"I guess I was just scared. Scared of commitment, scared of feelings I had never felt before for anyone, scared I would hurt her, scared of not coming back to her. I couldn't put her through what Dad.." Harm's words trailed off as he saw the pain in his Mother's eyes.

Trish Burnett took her son's face in her hands, forcing him to look at her finally. There were tears in her eyes and Harm hated himself for taking her back to that time in her life. "Harm, do you think I would have given up one second with your father. The memories we shared were the only things that kept me alive after he didn't come back. That and my love for the son he gave me. We shared a very special love. Time was the only enemy we had."

"Mom I.."

Trish stroked her son's cheek as she continued. "You should have given Mac the choice back then. It wasn't your choice to make. It was hers. That woman has always loved you and she felt nothing but rejection, felt she was another in a long line of woman you couldn't commit to. Now you have to get her to trust you again." Trish grew silent hoping that she had said enough, but not too much.

"Mom, things are so different now. I didn't know about her promotion to full Colonel. I didn't know about her transfer. I didn't even know about the great honor that the military was giving her. I feel like I'm on the outside of a glass house looking in and I can't find the door."

"Mac visited with Frank and I each time she came to Miramar on a case. She never mentioned you and we took our cue from her. But each time she came to the house, I know she felt your presence in the home you grew up in. Harm all I saw was love mixed with sadness in her eyes, as she imagined your closeness there."

Trish straightened and as she turned to find Frank she looked at her son again. "Don't let time be your enemy. You faced the truth about your father, now face the truth about the woman you love and don't run from her a second time."


Part II - Trusting Hearts


ADMIRAL CHEGWIDDEN'S RESIDENCE
MCCLEAN, VA
2200HRS (EST)
MAY 31, 2001


Harm heard the commotion coming from the foyer and knew that Mac had arrived. For one spilt second he was paralyzed, afraid to turn, afraid to face her, afraid of what he would see in her eyes. But as quickly as the feeling came it passed, as he managed to walk to the entrance of the living room. His composure started to crumble around him once he saw her, stopping abruptly he braced himself against the doorframe.

Mac had worn the red dress. Her training with the Recon Unit had toned the already perfect body and the dress clung to her like a second skin. Her hair was longer and she had it swept up with soft tendrils framing her beautiful face and neck. The two gardenias, she had firmly secured at the back of her hair accentuated it's deep highlights dancing under the lights of the foyer chandelier. Though her appearance left Harmon Rabb Jr. weak, it was her grace and strength and the pride he felt for Sarah Mackenzie that left him breathless. At that one moment in time there was not another soul in his world.

Mac graciously accepted the words from the SECNAV and the Joint Chiefs. As the Admiral came to rescue her, she felt his presence. Inexplicably she lifted her eyes and caught the sight of him, the man that was her world standing just across the room. The small gasp that escaped caused the Admiral to lay his hand over hers on his arm. She quickly looked away afraid it was just another apparition like earlier that day. Mac lifted her eyes again. The brilliant smile was his. The eyes locked on hers were the same ones that so many times in the past had left Sarah Mackenzie weak and breathless. At that one moment in time there was not another soul in her world.

Mac held a little tighter to the Admiral's arm, as they made their way through the congratulatory guests, Mac stopping to graciously acknowledge each acclamatory comment. By the time they reached Harm, her heart was racing; her breathing was elevated and her mind's strength tried to will her heart to hush.

"Commander. This is a surprise."

"Colonel. Congratulations on your Medal of Honor."

"Thank you, Commander. I missed seeing you at the ceremony."

"Oh, I was there."

"Really? I should feel honored that you were able to find the time while on leave to attend such an event."

"I'm not on leave, Colonel. I'm back permanently. I'm resuming my duties with JAG."

"Oh. Well then welcome back, Commander. If you'll both please excuse me." With that Mac turned and walked back into the crowd of guests toward Bobbi Latham and Clayton Webb.

A.J. watched the volley between Harm and Mac. He slapped Harm on the back. "Well, I think that went well." A.J. turned, winding his way through the guests to say his obligatory good night to the SEVNAC.


Harm just stood incensed as he watched her just walk away. He was angrier than hell! He would have rather had her slap him, scream at him, ignore him, anything but the composed civility she had exhibited! It was as if they were strangers that changed obligatory small talk in a public elevator. Was she so dead inside that she felt nothing for him, not even anger. He could deal with the feisty, argumentative, stubborn, pigheaded Marine he remembered, but not the poised politician he had encountered. Damn you Sarah Mackenzie this isn't over! I'm going to say my piece and you're going to listen!


Bobbi Latham and Clayton Webb watched the civil exchange between Mac and Harm. As Clay saw the angry Marine head in their direction he turned and whispered to Bobbi. "Incoming."

Mac looked back and forth between Bobbi and Clay. "Would someone like to tell me what the hell is going on? Webb?"

"Why is it every time someone disappears or re-appears everyone assumes I'm involved. Talk to your girlfriend." Clay walked away shaking his head.

"Bobbi?" What the hell is Harm doing here?"

"Staying with the Admiral? Look Mac he."

"He what? You knew he was here and didn't tell me? How could you Bobbi? I thought you were my friend!

Bobbi knew she had to get Mac out of earshot of the entire party. She grabbed her elbow and guided her firmly and quickly into the Admiral's bedroom. She sat the Colonel on the bed and sat next to her. Bobbi's quick mind organized her thoughts before she uttered a sound. Mustering all her political savvy, she decided to compliment her instincts with Clay's tactics and opted for half-truths.

"Harm just arrived today for the ceremony. He was at Arlington, but didn't want to take the chance of ruining your day by surprising you since he didn't have time to speak to you before. He wanted to talk to you privately. He is staying with the Admiral while his tenants vacant his apartment, hence that is why he is here."

"Is he coming back to JAG?" Mac's words were starting to escape in small puffs of breath and her heart raced uncontrollably.

"Well, so I hear. That is what his intentions are though it is not official or immediate."


"Bobbi..?" Rage was evident in Mac's eyes as she turned to face the Senator.

Bobbi knew it was time for defensive mode, as she had a feeling her perceptive friend was reading between the lines. "Mac what would you have done if you had know? Not accepted the Medal? Not attended the ceremony? Not have come to the Admirals? Retreated into the night like some shrinking violet. I would have really loved to see that."

Mac was starting to get angrier as she stood and walked to the window. "Bobbi, cut the crap. I would have never..."

Bobbi knew it was now time for attack mode. "Give it a rest Marine. Your not some awe struck naval groupie blinded by gold wings and dress whites. Or are you? I would have never thought Sarah Mackenzie wouldn't have the guts to face anyone, let alone Harmon Rabb Jr. That she didn't have the guts to clear the air between them and get her pride back. Well if it was me, I would tell him exactly what I thought. If you're still obsessing over that last, or should I say the only night, when you thought you were only a piece of ass to him then get it out! Or get over it!"

Mac heard Bobbi as she quickly stood and left the bedroom closing the door quietly behind her. Damn you Harmon Rabb Jr. this isn't over! I'm going to say my piece and you're going to listen!


Bobbi Latham leaned heavily against the bedroom door. She knew her harsh words had hurt her friend, but she also knew that forcing out the events Mac had buried so deep in the tomb of her heart had to be done so she could deal with them. That Marine would never let her pride be compromised again. Bobbi regained her best political composure as she found Clay talking to Bud and Harriet.

"Well?"

"She's madder than hell."

"That'll do it."

"Do what Sir." Bud and Harriet looked confused at the Senator and Clayton Webb.

"Bring Eve to Adam. Why don't we all go get a drink and get out of the line of fire." Clay guided the foursome to the bar and then settled them on the couch by the front bay window.


The party started winding down, as the full day of events had exhausted all the participants. There were only the family members remaining and it was getting harder for Harm and Mac to avoid each other in the small crowd. They hadn't said another word to each other, though each had stolen discreet glances at one another throughout the night.

Trish and Frank Burnett had felt the stilted silence between the two. Trish as perceptive as always to her son's feelings decided it was time to make a graceful exit before Mac found the opportunity and bolted.

"Frank, why don't we get Gram and say our goodnight to the Admiral and the other guests. Gram must be exhausted."

"Of course darling." Frank Burnett read the message in his wife's eyes, as did Sarah Rabb.

As Trish, Frank and Gram, with Harm at their side, made the rounds they all finally approached Mac. Mac stood and Trish hugged her tightly. "Sarah, I'm so proud of you and am so pleased you wanted us all to share this day with you. You're a credit to the military and this family. I just wish Harm's father had the chance to know you." Trish couldn't control the tears of pride she felt towards this strong woman. This woman who truly loved her son. The woman that had followed him to Russia, to help the son she loved bring closure to the wounds that had obsessed them both for most of their lives.

Mac was overcome with the events of the day, Trish's moving words and Harm's closeness. "Trish, I couldn't imagine anyone I would have rather shared this day with. This day was as much for me as for all who died so bravely for their country. Harm's father will always be in my heart." Mac closed her eyes willing the tears in her eyes not to fall. But the intensity of the moment was too great, as she felt the first tear escape down her face.

When Mac finally opened her eyes, still in Trish's embrace, the only eyes she saw was his filled with his own tears. Tears she wished she had seen when they said goodbye. Tears she wished she had seen in his eyes that one last night. That only night.

The tender scene took its toll on all that were left to witness it. The caustic Senator from Illinois gazed distractedly out the window into the night. Harriet laid her head on Bud's shoulder as he held her tightly in his arms. The cool CIA Agent followed Bobbi's stare into the darkness. Even the stoic Admiral found himself fixated on an insignificant particle of dust floating down through the cascading light of the chandelier.

And of all Harmon Rabb Jr., couldn't still his heart which was filled with the overwhelming love for one woman, for Colonel Sarah Mackenzie. She was so close to him and yet so far away, from his touch, from his need for her. The love he shared with her for one night the only night engraved in his memory and heart forever.


ADMIRAL CHEGWIDDEN'S RESIDENCE
MCCLEAN, VA
0035HRS (EST)
MAY 31, 2001


As Sarah Mackenzie watched the foursome leave through the front door, her emotions and exhaustion got the better of her. She hurriedly said her good-byes, grabbed her things and exited through the back of the house.

Bobbi panicked for the first time that night and looked apprehensively at Clayton Webb. But when she saw Clay's smile she relaxed. Sarah Mackenzie was going no where yet!

Mac made her way carefully and silently around the side of the house to the driveway. What the hell was wrong with her! Why after two years could he still shake her resolve? Why in God's name did he have such a powerful effect on her? Any weakness she found in herself had always incensed her and when it came to the Naval Aviator it was no different. There was no taking back the last two years! She had picked herself up once, moved on with her life and there was no way in hell that she would ever bed him again! She would rather live without him in her cloistered existence, than have him treat her like the other weak mindless woman in his life.

When she reached the driveway, Mac was relieved to see Harm was nowhere in sight and made her way hurriedly to the vette. As she started to unlock the door, the moon shifted and she noticed the imposing SUV parked directly behind her, blocking her in.

"Damn it to hell!" No outlet for her frustration, Mac pounded the hood of the Navigator with her fists setting off the truck's wailing alarm. "Great! Just perfect! Announce to the world your running away Marine!"

Mac turned to go find the car's owner thoroughly aggravated at the obstacle placed in the path of her retreat and irritated at her total loss of control. Mumbling to herself in annoyance, she heard the alarm silenced abruptly. As she looked up she saw Harm leaning against the driver's side of her car.

"Yours?"

"It's a rental."

"Well would you mind moving it?"

"I would mind."

"Pardon?"

"Your going nowhere till we settle what's between us. "Internal clock off, Colonel?" Harm watched Mac as she compulsively looked at her watch, the ground, the sky, the trees, anything except him. Finally, she gathered her strength and looked directly into his eyes with a fire he had never seen before.

"Harm, if you won't move it than give me the damn keys and I'll do it!" Mac moved abruptly trying to snatch the keys from his right hand. The spilt second she grabbed at his hand she knew she had made a tremendous mistake. She felt his left hand tenderly touch her face. Mac froze as she felt him lean towards her slowly, his breath teasing her lips and then she felt his very hesitant, light and tender kiss.

"Please Mac...just talk to me." Harm was breathless at her closeness.

Harm hadn't moved an inch as he mouthed the words and his breath caressed her lips as much as his kiss had done just a moment ago. Mac's world was spinning around her, her hands balled fists at her side. She willed the red dress not to give away the obvious arousal such a delicate move had inflicted on her body. Regaining some semblance of will, she placed her clenched fists on his chest and pushed him away.

"Harm, don't. Please don't do this to me again!"

"Mac, just let me try to explain the why, please. Believe me I never meant to hurt you. Just trust me enough to try and..."

"No!" Mac's anger fueled by blind pride surfaced as she leveled her heated gaze on his. "Commander, you got your 'piece of ass' once and TRUST me that will NEVER happen again! Now move your vehicle so I can just get the hell out of here!" Mac turned her back on him as she tried desperately to regulate her breathing and her anger.

"Excuse me?" Harm's own rage rose to the surface fueled by Mac's biting words as he spun her forcefully around to face him.

"You heard me, Commander! Just let me go home!"

"You want to go home? Fine!" Harm moved quickly around her, unlocked the SUV and started the engine.

Mac was relieved as she heard the sound of the truck engine. Trembling she tried to unlock the vette, freedom just a moment away. But Sarah Mackenzie was unprepared for the assault, as she felt Harm powerfully lift her in his arms and make his way back to the running vehicle.

"You want to go home?" Then we're going home!" Harm placed Mac on the passenger seat and slammed the door so hard the imposing vehicle rocked at the sheer force. As he made his way to the driver's side he noticed her purse lying on the ground, a few items scattered around it. His first mistake was not leaving it alone. His second was not remembering the resourceful Marine's resolve.

Feeling like a cornered animal, Mac quickly found her route of escape. She hastily slipped into the driver's seat, threw the truck in reverse and gunned it as she peeled out of the driveway and disappeared into the night dragging two of the Admiral's newest saplings with her.

Harm's reaction was not quick enough to stop her actions. "Damn you Sarah Mackenzie!" As Harm made his way back to the house, he remembered another place another time when he had done the exact same thing to her, leaving her standing in the cold rain as he raced to confront Diane's killer. Mac had come after him that time to save him from himself and by God he was going after her now. To save them from each other!


Harm came through the door and found Bobbi Latham blocking his path holding up a set of keys. He noticed the Marine Corp insignia and grabbed them, seeing the small smile that played across Bobbi's lips. The normally composed Commander was a bit embarrassed that the scene played in the driveway had apparently been observed by all but actually at this point he didn't give a shit.

"I owe you Senator."

"Yes you do, Commander and maybe one day I'll collect."

Harm turned to leave and go after the resourceful Marine, but he stopped glancing at Clayton Webb standing with a smug look on his normally cloaked face. "Thanks Webb, for moving my truck."

"No problem, Rabb and you know I'll definitely collect."

The Admiral was watching the exchange as Harm exited as quickly as he had entered. Bobbi Latham turned and took his arm. Surprised by the gesture, A.J. laid his hand on hers as they walked back towards the bar. "You know Senator, I think we just might become friends, and damn I never thought I would say that to a politician!"


Sarah Mackenzie had difficulty navigating the large SUV as her mind tried to will her anger to subside. She had lost control again and that just didn't happen anymore! She found herself taking small breaths to regulate her racing heart beat, stop the incessant ache in the pit of stomach and shake the memories of him from her mind. The words! She had to remember ALL the words!

<His head turned and my heart jumped, when I saw that it was him. After two long years the love of my live and I just held my breathe in. Standing there smiling with his eyes locked on mine. He couldn't hear me screaming on the inside when I said tear don't you fall, he's gone let him go. Eyes don't look back, down that empty road. Lips you may move, but don't you say too much and oh please, please heart hush... Then I said something stupid and reached out my hand. After making love and moving earth we were shaking hands. A million sweet memories pinball through my brain. The will to hold him one more time ran through my veins. When I said tear don't you fall, he's gone let him go. Eyes don't look back, down that empty road. Lips you may move, but don't you say too much and oh please, please heart hush... I kept looking at my watch like I had somewhere to be. Then he stopped talking and kissed me tenderly. And then I said tear don't you fall, he's gone let him go. Eyes don't look back, down that empty road. Lips you may move, but don't you say too much and oh please, please heart hush>

Not even all he words could help Sarah Mackenzie now...


SARAH MACKENZIE'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN
0200HRS (EST)


Mac unlocked the apartment door and leaned heavily against it as it clicked shut. The days and night's events were a jumble in her exhausted mind. She shook her head violently as she fell defeatedly against the sofa in the darkened still room. The moonlight streaming through the thinly curtained windows the only illumination needed, as she prayed the darkness would mask the pain in her heart and the memories in her mind. The feelings she had tried to bury so deep within the tomb of her heart washed over her as she simply laid her head on her arms and cried. Cried for what never was, for what she felt, for what could never be, for what she had become.

As she felt her tears stream down her face, she realized that these tears that came so willingly tonight, were the first ones she had shed so unashamedly since he left. She was crying not only for the love that could never be, but for the loss of a friend she had trusted with her life.


SOMEWHERE IN GEORGETOWN
0200 HRS (EST)


Harm maneuvered the vette through the deserted streets like a bat out of hell to get to her. Rage inflamed his body as he remembered her hurtful words. She couldn't possibly think what she did! Every part of his body sensitized by the brief feel of her body that had rubbed against him in that incredible red dress. He wasn't ashamed for what he had done two years ago. He was glad they had a moment in time. He was ashamed, however for not saying the words. The words he had wanted to say for as long as he could remember. Words that could never have been for Annie. Words that could never have been for Jordan. Words in his lifetime that could only have been for one person, Sarah Catherine Mackenzie. He slammed the dashboard with his fists...he hadn't said the damn words!


SARAH MACKENZIE'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN
0230HRS (EST)


Mac was paralyzed as she heard the incessant banging on her door, Harm's voice filling the darkened apartment with rage.

"Mac open the damn door!"

Silence...

"Sarah Mackenzie open his door now!"

Silence...

"Mac, open the door or I'll open it myself! NOW marine!"

Anger rising to the surface again, Mac stormed to the door and nearly dislodged it from it's hinges as she yanked it open. Fear clutched at her heart as Harm pushed her abruptly into the apartment and slammed the door.

"You don't get it do you! I don't want you here! I don't want you in my life! The trust is gone Rabb, so get out!"

"Well trust THIS!" Harm exploded as he grabbed Mac violently by the shoulders and pulled her hard against him, kissing her with a torrid hunger he hadn't ever imagined he would possess in a million lifetimes. There was no integrity. There was no tenderness. There was no honor. There was just his fury and his insatiable need for her. He didn't wait for permission as he forcefully parted her lips with his searing kiss and drank deeper.

Mac still held in his vise like grip had been unprepared for the attack and was terrified! Fear like she had never experienced devoured her. But as she felt the wetness of her own body's reaction and him grow and harden heatedly against her, she knew her feelings of fear were not for the man that held her. She feared the hard Marine heart no longer had the ability to mask it's own desires, it's own intense passion to be completely his and to taste every inch of his magnificent body.

Sarah Mackenzie lost the last remnants of control as she wrapped her arms around his neck her hands snaked in his hair and she melted into him with an un-recognizable moan.

The silence and the sexual release surrounded them in the darkened apartment and bound them together by invisible threads of silken desire. Threads spun from time, from distance, from loneliness, and from all the lost moments of their lives apart. Each lost in the caverns of their desire, each afraid if they broke their embrace or their searing kiss, life would send them catapulting into the abyss of insurmountable loneliness they had felt without each other for what seemed like an eternity.

Harm couldn't control his passion as his body was reacting too quickly to the woman he held in his arms. As he felt her relax and wind her arms around his neck he loosened the vise like grip he had on her. His hand tangled in her hair, his other drawn to explore the exquisite skin at the bass of her back. As he slipped his fingers under the back of her dress, he was scorched by the touch of her skin. At the action he felt Mac move sensually against him grinding her body against his and backing him against the door. Harm's groan filled the darkened room, echoing against the stillness with a resonance that mirrored his need for her.

Fueled by the sounds echoing around her, her own reactions as she lost herself in him and her incredible need to make the moment last for them, Mac broke the kiss hesitantly thinking that this night of love could not continue until they cleared the air. But she couldn't break contact completely with his warmth, with the scent of him that surrounded her finally in reality. Mac leaned her head in the hollow of his neck.

"Harm?"

Her words were just a whisper that teased his neck. He tried to suppress the moan that escaped him as he felt her end their kiss, but there was just too much feeling throbbing through his body. He hungered for more of her, for all of her, but he too knew the time had come. Time to tell her the why and hope she understood. He knew she would, because she always had understood him. But would she forgive him for his weakness and his insecurities?

Harm held her tenderly against him, both trying to regain the rhythm of their breathing, both realizing that nothing would ever be the same between them again. He relived in his mind the passion that they had shared, that one night, that only night two years ago. It was incredible then and he remembered reliving it each and every day he was on the carrier. But tonight, this one kiss had taken him to the edge of somewhere he had never been before and that he didn't want to come back from ever again.

"Harm?" Mac looked up at him and noticed the deep desire still in his brilliant eyes. She knew they mirrored her own voracious hunger, as she ran her fingers lightly over his lips. She gently leaned up and trailed small kisses along his lips and felt him tighten his grip around her once again.

"You're not helping Marine." Harm softly moaned as he leaned her head back and trailed feathery kisses down her collarbone and neck. He brushed her lips with his wanting more, wanting the passion to continue as he heard her sign. Such gentle touches were bringing them closer and closer to the edge again.

"Neither are you Navy." Mac ran her hands down his chest seductively as she backed away from. "I'll put on a pot of coffee, it's going to be a long night. I guess we do need to talk." Hesitantly she walked away knowing in her heart she just wanted him and that no spoken or unspoken words would ever change that fact.

Harm watched her light the candles on the coffee table before she made her way to the kitchen. He leaned against the door as the cool apartment air surrounded him replacing the warmth of the woman he loved that he had held in his arms.

Harm lost his tie and loosened the top buttons of his shirt as he walked into the kitchen. He wanted to be sure it wasn't a dream. That it was real. He saw her braced against the counter, her hands trembling and her eyes filled with tears, unable to complete the simple task she had set out to do.

Without a thought, he went to her and swept her in his arms. As her tear stained face came to meet his, the understanding that passed between them was the beginning of a greater reality. The words they needed to hear, they both still needed to say would be there for another time. They had passed the line into an incomparable need and Harm knew that he would show her all she wanted to know. As he looked in her eyes, he heard her slight whisper "Harm, I don't want to talk. I just want to feel something again. It has been so long. I'm tired of being dead inside."

"Sarah..." He felt her lips on his again and the hunger of her body igniting his own desire. As he picked her up he knew they had a lifetime together and the light of another day would bring the words they both needed to hear, they both needed to say.


The brightest day dawned and the light danced on the bed, as Sarah Mackenzie awoke. Memories of the night of unending passion still flushed her tired body, but turning she noticed she was alone again. The dread that consumed her left her paralyzed with the fear that he had left her once more. She shut her eyes and collapsed back on the bed not wanting his leaving to be part of her reality. The smell of coffee and the sounds of a distant guitar brought her back to the present. Breathing a sign of relief that could have been heard around the world she headed to the bathroom for a quick shower.

Harm heard the water running and knew she was up. He put the guitar aside and stood a few muscles groaning at his movement. He smiled as he made his way to the kitchen to put on a fresh pot of coffee, remembering she was a wild cat without her coffee in the morning. His smile turned to the widest of grins, as he realized she was a wild cat when she did a lot of things as another muscle groaned as he shifted. Two years of active carrier duty, daily workouts at the ship's gym hadn't even come close to getting him in shape for the pace he had been put through last night. "Leave it to a Marine."

"They usually do, sailor." Mac smiled as she walked to him and wrapped her arms around his waist kissing him lightly on the back. She started to move her hands under his shirt as she felt him wince. "A little out of shape are we?" She tried to suppress her laughter burying her face in his back and continuing her small tender and definitive assault on his body.

Harm turned quickly his action bringing her tightly against him as he wrapped his arms around her. He noticed her visibly flinch as he held her firmly. "And you're not?" He had to grin, glad that their night of passion had had the same affect on her.

"Well when you live the life of a nun for 2 years, 5 days, 18 hours, 54 minutes and 18 seconds that's bound to happen." She broke away from him, grabbed a cup of coffee and made her way to the living room, leaving Harm shocked and speechless.

"Mac, you're kidding right?" Harm's voice was a mixture of amazement, concern and guilt as he followed her.

"Hardly. What do you think, I jump into bed with any sailor who needs a goodbye lay?" Mac's voice cracked. She was furious with herself for allowing her pride to surface. She had always had a propensity for doing that and she cursed her weakness. Though this was the man she loved with all her heart, she couldn't get the memories of his leaving out of her mind.

Harm heard the words and knew they weren't spoken with anger, but with pain and hurt that time had only intensified. He took a deep breath, his heart strangled by guilt for what he had put her through. It was time. Time to tell her of his stupidity, of his fears, of his insecurities and of his undying love for her.

Mac felt his closeness as he sat facing her on the couch. She couldn't look at him until she felt his hand lift her face. "It's time to talk. It's time I explain myself. Please listen and understand I'm not making excuses for my actions. Nothing could ever excuse what I did to you and to me. I thought back then it was the right thing to do for you, but everyday I was away from you I lost a little of myself."

"Harm..."

"Mac, please. When I was growing up I wasn't the, well the kind of kid you thought I would be. Maybe it was the early loss of my Dad or maybe it was Frank coming into my mother's life. I still don't know what caused my rebellion and my withdrawal. When I ran away to Laos to look for my Dad at 16 something snapped in me. I came back, went to Annapolis and since graduating spent everyday of my life over compensating for who I had been. I grew up wanting to be like my Dad, the naval aviator, and the hero. The older I got the more I over compensated. I wanted to be the best lawyer, the best aviator. The best everything. I still do."

"And that is a bad thing?"

Harm took her hand and kissed her palm. "It is when they become obsessions or when they become compulsions. How many of my obsessions have you lived through with me?"

"And how many of my mistakes have you lived through with me?"

"Mac, we all make mistakes. God, I have." He looked at her briefly, but his guilt made him look away. "Especially with you."

"So I was a mistake? Is that what you're saying Harm?" He felt her quickly pull her hand away from him, the tension in the air strangling them both.

"No...that's not what I mean! But when I realized that well...my feelings for you were starting to go beyond friendship, it not only scared the hell out of me, it also started to cloud my judgement. When we were on assignment, in the slightest danger, I worried more about you than the outcome of the case. I wanted to protect you even at the risk of screwing up a mission. I couldn't be the best anymore." Harm stood and walked to the window the bright sunlight obscuring his features as Mac tried to look into the light.

"Protect me? We were a team. I'm a Marine for God's sake. I didn't need protecting. I wasn't one of your weak..." There was her damn pride again! Mac bit her lip forcing her to go silent.

"Don't you think I knew that! Hell you reminded me of that fact everyday! You certainly didn't need an arrogant, pigheaded, stubborn sailor and that just confused my feelings more...because your right your will was as strong as mine."

Harm grew silent. The anger, confusion, and weaknesses of the past years were vivid memories as all the lost moments cascaded through his mind.

"When...when did it all start?" Mac knew if she was going to get to the truth, antagonizing him with anger routed in blind pride was not the way to do.

"I'm not really sure exactly, but I know it was sometime before Dalton was killed. I just know that when we came back from Russia, things were different and I wanted more. I tried to tell myself it wasn't that I...that it was the stress of finally knowing the truth about my Dad and all the grief." Harm ran his hand distractedly through his hair and walked back to the couch and sat down.

"Harm that was almost 4 years ago!" Mac was bewildered that she hadn't known. That she hadn't suspected. That she had gone all that time without his love.

"That night in the Sudanese Embassy I would have killed Moschak for touching you. When we were in Iran, I almost let the Bedouins have the Stealth rather than leaving you behind as collateral. If Coster had touched you, he would have been a dead man. I had become the perfect poster boy for the danger of fraternization in the Military."

"But you didn't."

"No and that just made things worse, because I knew I would have. I knew I wanted you more than anything. We were both military our first loyalty was to protect our country, to complete our assigned mission at any cost. I willed myself to bury the feelings I didn't understand. I got involved with Jordan and well, I thought I had succeeded. I took the opportunity to change my designator and ran. But that last day, I was really out of control for the first time in my life. The thought of leaving without ever knowing what your kiss felt like, what you felt like in my arms as a woman was more than even I could will myself to try to forget. I couldn't leave without ever touching you, feeling you, loving you."

Mac was watching Harm closely and saw all the true emotion in his eyes. She was listening to the words, but his eyes told her how hard it had been for him. Just as hard as it had been for her. She knew him better than anyone, how had she not known! How had they both gone so long without the other knowing how much they needed each other and that the need was mutual? She knelt on the floor by him placing both hands on his thighs. There was still one question that needed to be answered.

"Harm, then why did you leave that night without a word? We wouldn't have been in the same chain of command anymore. You would not have been compromising your principals. Why, Harm?"

"That night after we made love and you were in my arms, I couldn't sleep. I didn't want the night to end. I just watched you sleep. You were so beautiful, so strong, and so content. The only failures in my life were my personal relationships. I didn't want to hurt you."

"So you just left and you thought that wouldn't hurt me?"

"For as long as I could remember I watched my mother die a little inside each and every day after my father went MIA. I heard her cry herself to sleep every night. She was never the same. Even when Frank came along, the pain in her eyes was always visible every time she looked at me. I couldn't do that to the...I was going on active flight status...there was a chance I wouldn't come back. I thought you would forget...that I would forget. But I couldn't and each day away from you I died a little inside."

"Harm, I wasn't your mother. You had no right making that choice for me." Mac was angry with him for not being honest with her before, but was she with him? Mac knew that he had suffered as much as she had, that he loved her as much as she loved him. She was mesmerized by what she saw in his eyes, as she felt him pull her closer to him and pick up his guitar.

"I spent a lot of time at the farm in Bellville with Gram when I was growing up and she once told me that sometimes plain words were a weak way to express true feelings. But when you put them in a song they take on a life of their own and a truth and strength that could last a lifetime."

Harm bent and kissed her lightly and tenderly letting his lips linger a little longer as he felt her hand caress his face. He pulled gently away and traced with his finger the path his lips had just taken and he knew this was the only relationship he would ever want or need in his life. She was the only woman he would ever love. He would be forever hers and she forever his.

With Mac's head resting lightly on his knee he gave the words filled with truth and strength a life of their own, as the guitar sounds and the powerful unspoken words spilled finally from his heart.

  Love is a powerful word
A little word that ought to mean something

Love better mean what it says
Say what you mean
Or it doesn't mean nothing

Love is a dangerous door to open
If you don't feel it when it's spoken

Sometimes I said it
But I really didn't mean it
Just a throwaway promise I knew wasn't true
It meant a little less to me
Every time I did it

But I never said I love you from the heart
Till I said it to you

You made me tell you the truth
And that truth was a total revelation
I see I have it in me
Now I can speak without any hesitation
I love you comes so freely
For the first time I believe me

Sometimes I said it
But I really didn't mean it
Just a throwaway promise I knew wasn't true
It meant a little less to me
Every time I did it

But I never said I love you from the heart
Till I said it to you

But I never said I love you from the heart
Till I said it to you


Harm put the guitar aside and pulled Mac to him. "I love you Sarah Catherine Mackenzie. Now and for forever."

Mac was unable to control her tears as she listened to the voice filled with love, saw the desire in his eyes and when she finally heard the words she had waited to hear for what felt like a lifetime. The hurt, the fears, the insecurities over the years became insignificant memories as she clung to him. "I love you Harmon David Rabb Jr. Now and forever."

For 48 hours, 16 minutes, 18 seconds, they never left the apartment both trying to make up for the six years lost to them, because of their stubbornness and blind pride. It was like the world around them had disappeared for those fleeting days and they were the only two people in a private universe of love and friendship driven by their blind need to be together.


Mac stepped from the shower and saw Harm leaning on the door jam watching her. She wrapped the towel around her and walked over to him. "Need something sailor?"

"You Marine."

"Well, I have exactly 2 hours and 32 minutes to make my flight at Andrews, so unless you want Webb on your six don't even think about it." Mac gave him a quick kiss and ducked under his arm into the bedroom. But she wasn't quick enough for him, as he grabbed her and sent them both tumbling on the bed...the towel just a forgotten memory on the floor behind them.


HARM'S APARTMENT
NORTH OF UNION STATION
WASHINGTON, DC
0230HRS (EST)


Harmon Rabb Jr. spent a busy week moving back into his apartment and doing all the mundane tasks that went along with his return. He had gotten the Admiral to agree to accelerate his transfer date and he was due back at JAG first thing in the morning. Even with all he had to get done around the apartment, he still needed something of more substance to occupy his mind. He was glad he was going back into the courtroom and looked forward to being part of the tight knit group again. He had missed his time at JAG and now that he had finally closed the door on his aviation career successfully, he was prepared to concentrate fully on his legal career and the woman he loved.

Harm tossed fitfully trying to will his mind to slow down and let his body get some sleep. It had been 6 days since Mac went on assignment and the emptiness he felt without her was worse than the days he spent on the carrier. He knew he wouldn't hear from her while she was gone, which made the separation more intolerable. He hadn't been sleeping well and when he did his dreams were of the time they spent together before she left. Damn it Rabb, you've got it bad!

He glanced at the clock for the hundredth time...0335. He was going to look and feel like hell in the morning, but he really didn't care as he remembered his conversation with Clayton Webb. It was like pulling blood from a stone, but he finally got Clay to let it "unofficially" slip that Mac was due back at Andrews late PM tomorrow. One more day and he would have the rest of his life with his strong Marine. The rest of his life to show her how much he had always loved her...one more day.

But Colonel Sarah Catherine Mackenzie didn't come home the next day...


Part III - GREIVING HEARTS


HARM'S APARTMENT
NORTH OF UNION STATION
WASHINGTON, DC
0445HRS (EST)


The storm raged as if the ancient Gods were angered by some universal indiscretion of faith. The torrent sheets of rain pounded against the city with a furious rage. The howling wind sounded like the wails of millions of dead souls as it whipped around the buildings. The thunder rumbled against the city and shook all the structures as if the world was sobbing uncontrollably.

Harm heard the distant incessant ringing in his head as he grabbed at the sound. The dream he was having shattered in a thousand pieces like a fragile china doll. Realizing it was the phone and not the alarm he catapulted from the bed, half focused on the clock on the nightstand...0445. Who the hell would be calling him this early? Maybe Mac? As he found the phone, his breath caught anticipating he would hear Sarah Catherine Mackenzie's voice.

"Rabb"

"Commander, I need you at JAG Ops now."

Harm focused on his CO's voice and smiled to himself.

"Yes Sir."

Some things never change. Another crisis probably Webb induced, Harm thought wryly as he made his way to the shower. He was glad to be back where he belonged. He was glad to be part of the JAG group again. He was glad to be home.

The Admiral held the receiver tenuously in his hand for a few seconds after the call was disconnected. As he turned and faced the small group congregated already in his office, A.J. Chegwidden the Judge Advocate General couldn't find the words.


JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VA
0600HRS (EST)


Harm pulled Mac's vette into her assigned space the weather beating against the small car in an unnatural fury. She would be home today. He looked at his watch. She was on her way back to him. He smiled as he exited the car, even the storm pelting him violently as he ran for the entrance couldn't remove the smile from his face and couldn't dampen the feeling in his heart.

Harmon Rabb Jr. entered JAG Operations and stopped suddenly. It was early and there was no activity in the large bullpen. He noticed Tiner and Gunny standing at Gunny's desk, which was spent with coffee cups and papers lying like scattered pins on a bowling alley. Neither were in uniform. Neither saluted the senior officer. Neither met his gaze. Neither could find the words.

"Tiner, the Admiral..."

"He said to just go in, Sir."

Harm felt like he was in an alternate universe as he deposited his raincoat, briefcase and cover with Tiner and entered the foyer area to the Admiral's office. The early morning silence at JAG was shattered only by the muffled sobs coming from the closed door. Harm stopped tenuously before knocking hesitant as he looked again at Tiner.

"Just go in, Sir."

Harm knocked and when he heard no response he entered the office and stood at attention, the sobbing grew in intensity and for some inexplicable reason Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. felt fear for the first time.

"Commander Rabb reporting..."

"Have a seat, Harm."

Harm could no longer mask the dread that was starting to surface driven by the surreal scenes he had witnessed since he entered JAG Ops. The Admiral's office was darkened, except for the desk lamp illuminating the large office and the lightening that intermittently broke through the darkness. Harm eyes darted around the office and besides the Admiral stoically standing at the window, a dim figure caught in the shadows, he only saw Harriet Sims Roberts collapsed in her husband's arms sobbing.

"At 2030 hours a Navy Seal Unit from USS Kitty Hawk landed on the Persian Gulf coast 50 miles south of the city of Khgrramahahr. They were sent in to extract members of a Marine Force Recon Team that had been sent to locate and recover Professor Azil Fassat. Two members of the initial team were not at the pickup point. Corporal Grady Hawkins and Colonel Sarah Mackenzie. Neither made the alternate pickup point at 0330 hours, though the body of Corporal Hawkins was found 500 yards from the beach." The emotion in the Admiral's voice was visible and stoic demeanor weakened as he braced himself against the window.

Harm heard the words, but his mind forbid his heart to understand their meaning as his world started spinning out of control. Harm's jaw tightened, his hands shook, his eyes darkened, his heart bleeding with every spoken word. He willed his legs to hold him as he continued to stand. The atmosphere in the room was strangling, the silence deafening, the only sound in the room was still the sobbing that continued uncontrollably.

"Sir, you can't..." His voice came out as a croaked plea wracked with incomparable grief for the fate of the woman that was his world. His entire world for a brief moment in time.

There was no response from the Admiral, as Clayton Webb walked out of the shadows that were shielding him. "Our operatives in Iran are attempting to determine Mac's whereabouts, if she is being held by the Iranian Government, the Bedouins, or if she is..." Clay hesitated, his own mind unable to utter the final word. "Dead."

DEAD! Harm's grief turned to rage. A rage the naval aviator had never Experienced before in his life. The rage clouded his reality turning it into the animalistic ability to kill another human being. From that point on his actions were not of Commander Harmon Rabb, the hero, the lawyer. From that point on his actions were those of Commander Harmon Rabb, the lover, whose world was shattered by the beliefs they had lived their lives by. Duty, Truth, Honor, Integrity, Loyalty to Country. Words that had ruled their lives and had now taken the only thing that meant anything to him. The words that had taken his Marine.

Harm's movements cut through the thickened air as he grabbed Clayton Webb by the throat, this strength was unrecognizable, and his words were filled with hate shattering the sobbing stillness of the room and replacing it with oppressive rage.

"You got her killed, you son-of-a-bitch. You finally got her killed!"

There was no controlling the animal that Harm had become, as even the Admiral and Bud could not remove the grief stricken Commander's strangle hold on the CIA agent. Harm was going to kill him! Take his life for hers! Harm wouldn't let go, as his hold became stronger and stronger and his friends tried desperately to free Clayton Webb from Harm's death grasp.

Harm felt nothing, but the uncontrollable need to kill. This body no longer belonged to his mind. His heart had turned into a liquid pool of pain that spilled everywhere and his will to live dissolved in the acidity of that pool. All rational thoughts disappeared from his mind; the only one remaining was that Sarah Mackenzie had been taken from him forever. The finality was overwhelming, the pain was insurmountable and the rage he felt was all consuming.

Harriet Roberts was jolted from her own grief, as she watched her friends' struggle before her. She saw Clayton Webb stager and fall to one knee, the life being drained from his body. Her grief brought her a greater strength as she stood, a strength fueled by the memory of her best friend and the memory of the man that Colonel Mackenzie would love for eternity...even in death.

"STOP IT! STOP IT ALL OF YOU! SHE'S NOT DEAD TO US! STOP IT NOW! WE ALL LOVED HER! She was still sobbing, but the force in her voice echoed through the room. The Admiral and Bud stared at the normally timid woman speechlessly, moving away from Harm.

Harriet noticed her outburst had even slackened the Commander's hold on Clay, as he looked in her direction his eyes oceans of pain and anger. She moved quickly and slipped herself between the fallen Clay and his attacker. She was terrified as the hate in Harm's eyes resurfaced, but she wouldn't allow herself to stand down.

Harm looked at her as the painful truth of past memories, played in his tortured mind. Harriet had always known his love for Mac. Harriet had always known Mac's love for him. If only he had faced it then, if only he had believed her then. If only he had recognized the inferences in all their conversations. If only he had listened to his friends and family, understanding the meaning of their words. If only he had listened to his heart instead of his mind. A sudden unearthly coldness consumed him numbing his body and causing him to release Webb to the floor.

The commotion had caused Gunny and Tiner to enter the Admiral's office without knocking, all military protocol and propriety a mere memory of a past time. As they turned towards the Commander, the Admiral raised his hand silently to stop them.

Harriet reached up and held Harm's face in her hands her words trying to spark some rationality in the eyes that were now vacant. A chill ran through her as she tried to imagine the pain he was in, the pain of a man who had lost his soul.

"Harm, look at me. Look at me. We all loved her Harm. She was a brave and courageous Marine, with a tenacious honesty, integrity and love of country that equaled your own." Harriet glanced at the Admiral, acknowledging his nod before she went on. "She ordered the Seal Team to leave the beach and take the Professor to safety and complete the mission. Corporal Hawkins was wounded and she wouldn't leave him behind. She couldn't leave him behind. That wasn't who she was. She was all she could be and the greatest joy in her life was the love she felt for you. She had loved you forever and she will love you forever. Remember the woman she was and the woman who loved and needed you with all her heart." The tears were streaming down her face as her husband walked to her and put a comforting arm around her shoulders.

Harm willed his mind to hear Harriet's words, but his heart clutched with the pain of never touching her again, never holding her again, never hearing her laugh again, never sharing her love, their problems, their lives, their future. Never passing their strength to one another as they had done so many times in the past. With his eyes squeezed shut he backed silently away towards the door.

"She needed me and I wasn't there for her. I wasn't there...I wasn't for the last two years. Duty and honor took her from me." Harm's heart was now filled with guilt. Guilt for his insecurities, for his weakness, for his stupidity, for his running from her because he loved her. He turned and walked silently out of the room.

Gunny reached for the Commander's arm to stop him, but there was nothing left to say. There were no more words.

"Let him go. Let him grieve." The Admiral helped Clayton Webb to his feet and assumed his position at the window, as he watched Commander Harmon Rabb leave JAG and walk into the blinding storm, leaving the Cherry Red Corvette alone in the parking lot.

Gunny's voice broke the oppressive silence in the room, as the small group of friends left to try and resume their lives with only memories of Colonel Sarah Mackenzie. " Sir, should I have the duty officer lower the flag to..."

"No, I've not given up on her yet!" The Admiral losing sight of the Commander straightened. "Tiner, get Webb back in here!"


SARAH MACKENZIE"S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN
2200HRS (EST)


He didn't know how he had gotten to her apartment. He wasn't even sure why he had come. But the minute Harmon Rabb opened the door and stepped into the darkened room, he felt the memories of her presence surround him with her love, her strength and their unending desire for one another. He knew this was where he had to be to deal with his emotions. He knew this was where he had to be if he was ever to survive.

Harm walked through the empty rooms, a little more of her in each item his gaze fell on. The half read book on the nightstand he had teased her about. The nightgown, she had worn briefly their last night together when he couldn't tear his eyes from her. The pearl earrings held in the small crystal dish, he had given her with so much love. The roses, now withered and dead, that were delivered the day before she left, representing so much love and hope for the future. The towel on the floor, that had slipped from around her body, the last time he had made love to her.

Harm grabbed the towel and sat down on the bed, clutching it tightly to him. He willed the tears away, because he was afraid that if he cried she would be lost to him forever and his heart would be hushed for eternity.

TWO WEEKS LATER
BOBBI LATHAM"S OFFICE
SENATE OFFICE BUILDING
WASHINGTON, DC


Admiral Chegwidden entered the Senator's office and stood facing her as she motioned for him to have a seat. He smiled to himself as he listened to the tail end of an apparently heated discussion concerning her latest military crusade. He shook his head; so many things had changed in such a few short weeks...so many things.

"I don't give a rat's ass what you think Senator, the military appropriation bill better pass the floor or your constituents won't be able to get your ass out of town fast enough before I take over." Bobbi slammed the phone back into its cradle attempting to re-gain some of her composure and rose to greet A.J.

"It's good to see you A.J." Bobbi gave the Admiral a tight hug and led him to the couch.

"How have you been Bobbi?" He noticed the dark circles under the Senator's eyes and an unsettled demeanor that was so unlike her.

"I'm OK, I guess. It's just been a tough few weeks. I don't know how you do it A.J. how are you always so perfectly controlled? I admire that in a person. I thought that was how I was." Bobbi looked distracted, trying to push the thoughts that were constantly with her since Clayton had said the words...the words she still didn't want to believe.

"Trust me, Senator. My demeanor is a product of the military. This has been a tough two weeks for everyone."

"How's is Harm holding up? I tried to call a few times, but got his machine. When he didn't return my calls, I went by his apartment, but he wasn't there. I feel so responsi..." Bobbi Latham looked away as the guilt she had felt tried to resurface.

"Bobbi, that is ridiculous. Hell, what you should be responsible for is that you gave them the push they needed. Hell, without you they would have had no time together. A.J. looked at her realizing she was listening to his words, but wasn't hearing what he was saying.

"And Harm?" Bobbi watched the Admiral and heard the defeated concerned tone in his voice for the first time.

"No one has seen him since he was told. He hasn't been seen or heard from. Truth be known we are all damned worried about him."

"You don't think he's gone to Iran? God, A.J. he wouldn't be that stupid without help would he?" Bobbi found herself tense visibly, as she looked intensely into the Admiral's eyes. She knew full well that Harmon Rabb would do something that stupid! He would do anything for Sarah Mackenzie.

"No. I'm sure that's not the case. He just needs time. But Bobbi I do need your help on a related matter."

"Anything A.J. just name..." Bobbi's words were cut short as she heard her aide's voice over the intercom.

"Senator, excuse me. Celtic Courier is out here with a package for you."

"Well sign for it Denise!" Bobbi's voice was harsher than normal, her temperament a direct result of the events of the last two weeks.

"...I tried Senator, but he insists that you have to personally sign for the package."

"Damn it Denise! Send him in, but after this I want no interruptions!" Bobbi knew she needed to start getting a grip on her emotions. This was so unlike her and she cursed herself for her lack of control.

The Senator smiled her apologies to A.J. as she walked to the door to meet the courier. She signed for the package, but before she could carelessly throw it on her desk, her heart constricted as she recognized Colonel Sarah Mackenzie's familiar handwriting. "Oh dear God."

"Bobbi?" A.J. rose quickly from the couch as he saw her stricken look, heard her gasp and saw her lean heavily against her desk. When he reached her he took the envelope from her shaking hands, his own gaze filled with recognizable understanding. He had expected them; he had wondered where they were, and the controlled JAG even found himself emotionally shaken now that they had finally arrived.


2 DAYS LATER
SARAH MACKENZIE'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN
2000HRS (EST)


Senator Bobbi Latham had learned many things while climbing out of the Detroit ghetto and up the steps of the Capitol. The one lesson that she had learned the hard way is that you identify your allies as carefully as you identify your enemies. That once you recognize your allies, you trust and support them without question as they help you protect all that your enemies would try to destroy. For whatever reason, she outwardly didn't have many friendships or the comfort of allies. But the personnel of the JAG Office in Falls Church, Va. had given her both. She wouldn't let the Admiral down nor would she abandon the hope, no matter how slight, that her best friend was still alive.

The minute the Senator let herself into the apartment, she immediately was startled by the form lying on the sofa the air around her thick with the grief of a lifetime. She caught her breath at the sight of him, the hall light spilling into the darkened room illuminating his form in an unnatural light.

"Harm?"

Commander Harmon Rabb heard the key in the lock, heard the door open saw the light spilling into the room and heard the voice. Through the bourbon-induced haze for one split second, his heart filled with hope and love again as he tried to focus on the silhouette held in the light.

"Mac?"

Bobbi's heart broke as she saw the hope in his eyes change to utter and complete despair as he fell back defeated on the sofa. She knew he was reliving a loss so great the Senator feared he wouldn't even survive.

"Harm, it's Bobbi. I can't believe you've been here all this time." Bobbi was incredulous that she had not thought of the most obvious place to look for him. Where else would he have gone to be close to the woman who would be in his heart forever? Where else would he have gone to try and confront the grief that was all but consuming him?

"Bobbi, I should have known you would figure it out. What the hell do you want? Just leave me the hell alone?" Harm's voice was filled with anger, hurt, pain and all the emotions that had overrun a heart that had once been a heart filled with love...the only thing now left in the space was a void filled with an incredible loss.

The Senator tried to regulate her breathing as her own emotions rose to the surface and threatened to devour her once more. Emotions that threatened to take her back to the day Clayton Webb had told her that her best friend was missing and presumed dead. Emotions that threatened to take her back to another time in her life that she wanted to forget. But she couldn't forget! She wouldn't let herself forget and that was why she had come here tonight. Bobbi walked to the sofa and turned the lamp on sitting on the coffee table directly in front of the grieving Commander.

As the light filled the room it threw ghostly shadows in every corner attempting once again to ignite the truth that Harm was trying to avoid and forget. The truth that Mac had been taken from him forever. The two weeks of darkness and the bottles of bourbon tried to continue to disguise the pain that was now an intense ache in his soul. The sight of Bobbi Latham brought back the pain as reality tried to overwhelm him again.

"Harm, look at me." Bobbi tried to lay her hand on his shoulder to absorb some of his anguish, but he jerked away from her and stood tenuously his world spinning out of control around him.

"Get the hell away from me. Haven't you done enough!" Harm couldn't stand the reality that was starting to seep into his consciousness. He had to get away again, but somewhere in his darkened soul he knew he had to come to grips with what was left of his life. He left silently and disappeared into the bathroom. Bobbi heard the shower running as a lone tear slipped down her face, at the harsh words and at the impossible situation. Dear God please let me get through to him! God help him find the truth! God help him find the strength to bring her back!

Bobbi stood trying to compose herself, trying to find the words that would bring the old Harm back. She realized the words Harm spat at her, weren't spoken in anger, the words had been cloaked with fear. Fear that he would have to face the truth. As she went to the kitchen, Bobbi Latham realized that Harmon Rabb had not allowed himself to grieve yet! He hadn't allowed himself to believe she wouldn't come back to him!


Harm walked out of the bedroom, his hair still damp from the shower and appearing a bit more composed. But as Bobbi looked up she saw the immovable expression on his face that the weeks of despair had etched on his handsome features.

"I put on some coffee. We need to talk Commander."

"Talk about what? Talk to you about my life or lack thereof? Talk to you about...about...I'm getting out of here." Harm couldn't. He wouldn't allow himself to say the words; his mind still fighting the reality his heart was not permitting him to face.

"...yes talk about Mac! Talk about the woman who loves you with all her heart and whom you love with an equal unending passion. She still loves you! Your going to listen to what I have to say!" The Senator's tone was more abrasive than she had intended, but there was no other way to get through the armor of pain, loss, fear, and anger that shielded Harmon Rabb from the memories that she needed to reach.

"No! There is nothing to say. There is nothing anymore. There will never be anything again. Just go! I'm getting the hell out of here!" As Harm's mind tried to break through the fog of solitude induced by the last two weeks, Bobbi reached out and grabbed his arm forcefully.

"Fine go! Go pity yourself and just leave her for the Government of Iran to execute for espionage! Isn't the penalty for espionage death by firing squad or is it hanging? Which is it Harm?"

Harm's face contorted with a flood of emotions, as his body froze afraid that his mind was still playing tricks on him like it had over the past two weeks. There was a brief flicker of hope in Harmon Rabb's heart. There was a small flicker of faith in his eyes. But he was convinced he hadn't heard the caustic Senator correctly and tried to slump back into his world of grief.

"Harm did you hear me! God Damn it, Rabb! I said loves! She may still be alive!" Bobbi held her breath, as she watched him slowly turn trying to focus his keys still in his hand.

"Loves?" That was all that Harm could initially allow himself to comprehend. He didn't want to hope, he didn't want to feel, and he didn't want to lose her again.

"Yes, Harm. I said "loves". Bobbi walked to her friend and laid her hand on his shoulder. "Look at me, Harm. Please listen to what I'm going to say. Don't listen to only the words you want to hear or believe, but listen to everything."

Harm numbed by his grief and trying to comprehend what she was saying, allowed himself to be led back to the sofa, as Bobbi settled next to him and handed him the cup of steaming black coffee.

"Drink it!" Bobbi was overwhelmed with fear as she watched the defeated man before her. What happened to the pit bull filled with the fighting tenacity she remembered. He was nobody she recognized anymore. She had to find her old friend so he could help find her best friend!

The growing silence gripped and suffocated the room, as he no longer resisted her. Concern now seized her as she realized he had no reaction to her words. Perhaps he didn't hear her correctly? Perhaps Harmon Rabb was as lost as Sarah Mackenzie was now. Bobbi decided it was time to tell it all...the Admiral's visit...their visit to the SECNAV...and the letters.

"The Admiral came to see me yesterday. Apparently through the CIA's Intel Network, Webb has gotten word that an American is being held in Bakkar Prison awaiting trial for espionage. Very little information was provided. Since the Stealth incident and the rescue of Fazil Assat, even Webb's sources have been somewhat reluctantly silenced." Bobbi sat still noticing no reaction, her concern growing with every spoken word as she continued apprehensively. "No one is sure it is Mac and there has been no contact initiated by the Iranian Foreign Ministry. Webb's sources feel that there will be no contact, that they will simply conduct the trial and execute the prisoner as an act of defiance for our country's past actions and political indiscretions."

It was getting too much for the Senator as she tried to assess the kaleidoscope of emotions she finally saw pass over Harm who just sat in silence... She remembered the Admiral's words and though she didn't totally agree, just yet, she decided to aqueous to his military savvy. Bobbi walked to Mac's desk and quietly slipped her address book into her purse, before she continued.

Harmon Rabb had been listening to all Bobbi Latham said with disbelief, as tears finally burned his eyes and threatened to spill uncontrollably down his cheeks. Tears he had not been able to shed at the thought of her death, but tears of hesitant longing he could now shed since there was a chance Mac was still alive. He stood and started to pace in front of the Senator, thoughts starting to race through his mind. Could it be her? Dear God let it be true! How could he get to her! What were they going to do! Who would help! What had they done to her! Oh dear God please let it be true!

"Bobbi, tell me all of it." There was an unrecognizable steely conviction in his voice as he stood abruptly and grabbed Bobbi by the shoulders bringing her back on the couch.

"The Admiral and I went to see the SECNAV two days ago...needless to say he wasn't thrilled about our request...at authorizing an operation...that could create an international incident..." Bobbi flinched as Harm's grasp grew tighter and he cut her off in mid sentence.

"Are you telling me they are going to leave her there to die! Tell me that is not what you're saying! Tell me!" Harm thought his heart was going to explode with the sudden rage that ignited the fury within him.

"He will not authorize the extraction, but..." Bobbi hesitated as his rage radiated through her, causing her to visibly tremble. "...he will allow us to use some Navy material resources."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"The Admiral, Clay and I called in a lifetime of favors and made arrangements to utilize the resources on the US Coral Sea, currently deployed in the Persian Gulf patrolling the no-fly zone. We however, cannot officially use any of the Coral Sea's personnel or any naval personnel on active duty assignment."

Harm visibly stiffened as he heard her words. All the years he had given to uphold the beliefs of his country. All the years Mac had been a brave and courageous Marine, her integrity and duty to her country unflinching even in the face of her own death. Their integrity, sense of honor and love of country were always put first and foremost in their lives. Now that country was going to leave her there to die! To be executed! Their obligation and honor to a soldier that had served proudly dictated by political agendas and self-serving beauracrats.

"That sorry son of a bitch! So Bobbi, what do I do employ mercenaries? Maybe Clark Palmer is available? I need to talk to the Admiral." Harm's voice was filled with venom as he grabbed the phone and started to dial the Admiral's number.

Bobbi Latham saw the spark ignite and heard the fire in his voice. Relief washed over her as the tenacity of the old Harmon Rabb started to surface. She stood and grabbed her coat before she answered Harm's question, remembering she had her own flight to catch. "He's already on the Coral Sea. There's a package with your instructions waiting for you with the JAG Sentry. You leave at 0430." The Senator made her way to where he was standing when she heard him slam the phone down.

"He left without me? Why the hell didn't he wait!"

"We didn't know where you were Commander. While you found it necessary to...Bud and the Admiral left yesterday morning. I received this two days ago from Mac, with 6 others. Her instructions were very clear. In the event she didn't come back..." Bobbi couldn't find the words to continue, but she knew she had to honor the requests of her friend and comply with the Admiral's advice."...in two weeks regardless...she asked that I deliver them to...this one to you."

As Harm took the offered package his hands shook and his heart started to fill with the enormous familiar loss he had almost resigned himself to endure. Even knowing that there was a chance she was alive, he also knew there was also a chance she wasn't and all the emotions of the last two weeks came crashing down around him again. He looked pleadingly at Bobbi, not wanting to accept the package she was handing him. Not wanted to face the fact that she still could be gone.

"Harm, take it. It is what she wanted." Bobbi touched Harm's check as the first tear of grief and of hope slipped down his face. "Find her Harm and bring her home to us. Take care of yourself, Commander." Bobbi turned and left the apartment closing the door quietly behind her leaving Harmon Rabb alone with his memories and the words from Sarah Mackenzie.


Harm sat on the couch, his mind filled with memories of the woman he had loved for so long, yet who he had held as a lover for so little time. Bracing himself he opened the envelope and watched its contents slip to floor. He reached and picked up the cassette, memories of another time another place plaguing his mind and heart, as the grief of the other taped words echoed around him.

He walked over to the stereo, placed the cassette in the player and pushed play. The voice that belonged to his Marine broke the oppressive silence and surrounded him with its strength, its love, its tenderness, its faith and its conviction.

  Harm,

If you're listening to this, I either did something incredibly stupid or something incredibly brave. Either way, I may not be coming back to you. If I'm still alive, well flyboy I know you'll find me. If I'm not I can only thank God that he brought you into my life and let me share with you the last seven years. That he let me love you and be loved by you. That he let us share an unending friendship, an unending trust and an unending love. That he let me share your integrity, your honor, your strength and foremost your life. That he gave me your support and faith. The last week of your love will sustain me for a hundred lifetimes.

As you told me once, when you can't find the words say it with a song. You know I lack any musical talent, but I'll let Reba sing the words from my heart. The words that have always been in my heart for you Harmon Rabb Jr. and will only be for you for eternity.

  The first time I laid my eyes on you I knew
We'd spend this life side by side
I still feel the same though you're so far away
I swear that you'll always be mine

Forever love
I promise you
Someday we'll be together
Forever love

I won't give up
No matter what
I'll be waiting for you
Forever love

Minutes and hours and years may go by
But my heart knows nothing of time
Just keep me right there in your dreams
And hold on to these words of mine

Forever love
I promise you
Someday we'll be together
Forever love
I won't give up
No matter what
I'll be waiting for you
Forever love

Love is the road to our destiny
Nothing can change what is meant to be
And hold on to these words of mine

Forever love
I promise you
Someday we'll be together
Forever love
I won't give up
No matter what
I'll be waiting for you
Forever love

Harm, whether it is in this life or in the next, I will always be your Marine, Flyboy. You have always had my heart and my soul. The strength of my love will never be extinguished, not even in death. Keep our memories in your heart as you go on with your life. I love you sailor. And always remember...forever my love.


Harmon Rabb Jr. finally shed the tears of a lifetime. As the force of his tears subsided he grabbed the tape, his keys and left the apartment. His conviction, faith and love fueled by a greater strength...that of Colonel Sarah Mackenzie, his Marine.


DULLES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT
WASHINGTON, DC
0230HRS (EST)


The private Leer Jet took off swiftly slicing through the darkened Washington sky. Senator Bobbi Latham watched the city disappear beneath her as she gazed out the window, tears burning her eyes and blinding her vision. She had delivered the letter to the Admiral...she had delivered the letter to Bud and Harriet...she had delivered baby A.J.'s letter to his parents. Now on her way to Bellville, PA, Red Rock Mesa, AZ and La Jolla, CA., the Senator clutched her letter in her tear stained hands and prayed for the first time in her life.

"Dear God, give them the strength to find her and bring her back to us. Guide them with your strength and keep them all safe..."


USS CORAL SEA
THE PERSIAN GULF
2130HRS


The thirteen men assembled in the Ward Room some silently reviewing operational topography maps, some talking quietly and some watching the rolling darkened sea around them. Most were strangers brought together by the needs of a friend, an officer, by duty to their country and by the fate of a downed Marine. None of them questioned the mission they had volunteered for; none of them questioned their governments' policy. All of them however, realizing what they had to do and why it had to be done. Some were retired, some were on reassignment...some Marines... some Navy...but all of them were military and their actions were driven by the duty and honor of a common goal.


Part IV - Brave Hearts


USS CORAL SEA
THE PERSIAN GULF
1930HRS


Commander Harmon Rabb watched as the Carrier came into sight, an insignificant blur in the blackness of the surrounding ocean. He remembered the last time he had visited the USS Coral Sea. It had been with Mac...he hoped that God was on their side this time too. The Helo landed on the aft deck of the Carrier and Harm stepped out apprehensive to what he would find and yet anxious to commence the operation that would bring his Marine back to him.

"Welcome aboard, Sir. They are waiting for you in the Ward Room." Ensign Janet Simmons saluted the Commander and then escorted him to the waiting men.

"The Skipper will be joining you shortly. If you'd like I'll have your gear stowed in your quarters?"

"Thank you, Ensign." Harm handed the young Ensign his bag before entering the Ward Room. When his eyes swept the room his past and present merged together as he recognized the men congregated awaiting his arrival. He had expected to see the Admiral and Bud, but the rest of the members of the assembled team caught him off guard and left him virtually speechless. He watched the smile of recognition cross his friend of 19 year's face as Commander Jack Keeter walked towards him.

"It's good to see you Buddy, but I wish it was under different circumstances." Commander Jack Keeter slapped Harm on the back amiably noticing immediately the difference in his friend's demeanor.

"Keeter, it's good to see you too. Normally we only manage to see each other when you get your sorry six captured because of some CIA operation gone wrong." Harm offered Keeter a smile. "I'm glad that you're staying clear of the spy business." Harm turned at the familiar voice as Clayton Webb made his way towards the two friends.

"He's still part of the business. Technically we all are." Clayton Webb was apprehensive as to what sort of greeting he would receive from Rabb, remembering the outraged aviator in the Admiral's office that day. He had never taken it personally, because he understood the Commander's grief more than anyone did. Hell, the grief of the last two weeks still consumed him. It wasn't just a Marine that was missing. It was Mac. Clay was relieved when he saw Harm extend his hand.

"Webb. I should have known you'd be a part if this. What do you mean we all are?"

"What he means Commander is that we have all been temporarily unofficially assigned to Mr. Webb's office." The Admiral approached Harm and laid a hand on his shoulder. "It is good to see you son. Obviously, you got my message."

"The Senator always seems to get her message across even when one tends not to listen."

"That she does, that she does. Well gentlemen, let's get started."

As Harm with Keeter at his side followed the Admiral to the large table setup in the Ward Room, the other members of the group greeted Harm. Jack Raglan, Captain Tom Boone, Lt. Commander Curtis Rivers, Sergeant Greg Connors, Sergeant Jason Magida, Sergeant Hector Cordova, Captain Jean Koonan, Gunnery Sergeant Victor Galindez, Lt. Colonel John Farrow and Lt. Commander Wayne Rice. Harm was overcome with emotion as he acknowledged each man individually. Men from his and Mac's past, who they had interacted with professionally and personally and who were now willing to put their lives on the line to get her back.

"Before we start I need to re-iterate for everyone's benefit that this assignment is strictly voluntary and it is not sanctioned by your respective military branches nor our government. Our temporary assignment with Mr. Webb's office is a courtesy to unable us to utilize his resources in Turkey and Iran. Additionally, the resources that the SECNAV has unofficially authorized are strictly material in nature and will not involve any use of USS Coral Sea personnel on this mission. If this is all understood, let's get to it." The Admiral watched the men around him and understood the acknowledgement he recognized in their eyes.

"Material resources, Sir?" Harm trying to play catch-up and still overcome by the emotional support of the group questioned the Admiral.

"We will be allowed to use whatever Naval Assets required as offered by the Command of the USS Coral Sea to complete..." Before the Admiral could finish, the Skipper and the CAG joined the group.

"And that means whatever you need Gentlemen to make this strike successful." Both men walked over to Harm. "It's good to see you again Commander, though I wish it was under different circumstances."

"And you Skipper and thank you for this."

"There are no thanks necessary son."

"My Intel sources in Iran tell me that Mac is still being held at Bakkar Prison awaiting trial. There has been no trial date set so arrangements to move her to the Judicial Military Building have not been made. That means we'll have to get her out of Bakkar. That is where Mr. Raglan comes in." Clay nodded to the Admiral to continue.

"We will be going into Iran with two different teams. Raglan, Mr. Roberts, Farrow and myself will be flying into Teheran on Australian Diplomatic Passports as communications consultants assigned to the Australian Embassy. Connors, Magida, Cordova, Koonan, Rivers and Galindez will enter Iran via the Turkish Border at Ashkhabad." The Admiral immediately anticipated what was coming as he hesitated and glanced at Harm.

"Sir, I don't understand what about..." Harm's eyes were filled with a million questions.

"Commander, you, Keeter, Boone and Rice will be flying two F-14 to Izmir Air Station in Turkey to provide air support once we complete the extraction and attempt to cross the Turkish Border..."

"But Sir, I would prefer to be part of the ground team...I just can't wait..." The Admiral cut Harm's pleadings short ignoring the anguish he heard in his voice.

"I understand that Commander, but you are one of the only four pilots we have on this little excursion and the chance we will be needing air support when we cross 350 miles of hostile desert with half the Iranian Army after us is likely. There is no further discussion on this point. We are each here with expert skills in a particular area and yours is in the air Commander."

"But Sir..." Tom Boone recognized the frustration in Harm's eyes, so much like his father' so he interrupted any further discussion of the issue.

"Rice, Keeter, Rabb let's go down to the Hanger Bay and check our rides. Admiral, I believe the teams will be going over their individual assignments, so with your permission."

"Go ahead. We'll meet back here at 0030 HRS." The Admiral watched silently as the four aviators left the Ward Room.

"Sir, the Commander..." Bud looked at the Admiral hesitantly.

"No one can possibly know what he is feeling right now. No one. God help him if we don't bring her back."


The four naval aviators stood on the Lower Weather Deck silently watching the moon playing on the dark sea that rolled endlessly around them. Each was lost in their own thoughts, about their mission, about their friendship, about the Marine.

Even in the darkness illuminated only by the dimmed Carrier lights and the moonlight that danced on the water surrounding them, Keeter noticed the dark vacant expression in Harm's eyes.

"We'll find her buddy. We'll get her out, no matter what." Keeter watched the kaleidoscope of emotions pass over his friend's face as he heard the other officers confirm the conviction.

"I know. I just keep remembering what they had done to you when Mac and I...God only knows what condition she is in....I will kill..." Harm's emotions