Title: “Fireworks”

Author: ImaCBfan

E-mail: jenunc97@yahoo.com

Rating: PG

Classification: Romance 

Spoilers: Takes place directly after “Coming Home”

Disclaimer: These characters aren’t mine, I just
borrowed them, this is just for entertainment, not for
profit.

Summary: Mac decides to take a chance, Harm gets what
he’s always wanted.

Friday 1700 EST

Georgetown

Mac’s Apartment

Mac hung up the phone with a sigh of relief. All of
this stress and mental anguish had been for nothing.
However, maybe it was just what she needed to
reevaluate her life. Bud had been wonderful to run the
whole investigation by himself and not try to pry into
her business. It had been last week that her doctor
had called to inform her that her last pap smear was
abnormal. He was very concerned and wanted her to come
in for a biopsy and ultrasound. She spent four whole
days going over every possible scenario in her
head--Cervical cancer, never going to have kids, dying
alone with so much left to do. Well, the results were
now in and she was perfectly fine, no problem he just
wanted to see her again in 6 months. Maybe this was
supposed to open her eyes she thought, “I’m not
getting any younger.” She loved her career, but she
wanted more, she wanted the kids, the minivan, the
house, …the husband…Tomorrow was little A.J.’s fifth
birthday party at the Roberts house, why did that get
her pulse racing so….…Mac came out of her daydream and
realized someone was knocking on her door.

Mac opened the door to see Mattie Grace, Harm’s ward
standing there with her backpack on. 

“Mattie, what are you doing here? Is Harm here?” She
asked a little too obviously.

Mattie smiled, she had these two pegged. “No, he’s
playing basketball with Sturgis, I hope you don’t
mind, but I kind of wanted to talk to you.”

Mac had thought that Mattie would want to talk to her
about her Dad sooner or later. She had no idea that
Mattie had another agenda. “Sure, come on in. I was
just going to get some lemonade, do you want some?”

“Sure, thanks,” Mattie said, as she came inside.

After a few minutes of small talk about Mattie’s
school, Mac said, “Look Mattie, We have a lot in
common, I don’t know how much Harm has told you, but
my father was an alcoholic to. I know things aren’t
easy for you right now, but you are doing so much
better than me when I was your age.”

Mattie looked surprised, she didn’t know what to say,
Harm had never told her, and Mac seemed so together.
“Yeah, well you are doing fine now aren’t you?”

Mac thought a minute and then said, “No, but I’m
working on it.”

Mattie said, “Come on Mac, look at you, you are so
smart, and beautiful and you have such an amazing
job.”

“Mattie, I have always made everything in my life way
more complicated than it needed to be. I have taken
the long road. You are really lucky to have Harm to
help you through this, and I know you don’t want to
hear this, but you are really lucky that your dad is
trying so hard to get better,” Mac said.

Mattie snorted, “Right, I don’t care what he does, I
will always hate him.”

Mac looked at this young woman in so much pain,
“Mattie, I am probably one of the few people who can
understand how you are feeling. My father didn’t kill
my mother, but he drove her away and I never had her
when I needed her most. I held onto that anger, rage
more like it and it ate away at me. I became self
destructive, I started drinking, I was out of control.
Look, it’s not going to happen over night, but it will
only help you if you can get past your anger.”

Mattie was not convinced. Mac continued, “Look Mattie,
I never had a chance to talk things out with my dad,
he died a few years ago, and I went out to see him,
but it was too late, he was in a coma by the time I
got there. But I realized, I had been holding so many
feelings inside for so long, I had never dealt with
any of it. I know you don’t want to hear this, and I
know that it won’t bring your mother back, but your
dad loves you so much. He is very sick and he is
fighting it every day because he wants to be there for
you.”

Mattie started to get angry. “How do you know? Have
you been talking to him?”

Mac sighed, “Yes, I have been to a few AA meetings
with him.”

Mattie started crying, she had tears running down her
face, Mac put her arm around her and gave her a
tissue. “Mattie, you are such a strong, intelligent,
beautiful, young woman. You have so many people
pulling for you. Harm, Jen, me, and your dad. It is
okay to cry for your mom. It is going to hurt for a
long time. But she would be so proud of the woman you
are becoming.”

Mattie spoke between her sobs. “Mac, I can’t look at
my dad without thinking about why my mom is gone. I
don’t want to be around him.”

Mac sniffed back her own tears. “I know Mattie, but
talking about these things with me or Harm or Jen,
will help, you can’t keep all of this bottled up
inside. I am really glad that you came over today.
What are you doing for dinner? Do you want to go get
some pizza with me?”

“Um, oh, I am supposed to meet Jen at Mellow Mushroom
at 6:30. Mac, thank you for this talk, I feel
connected to you, I didn’t come here to do this big
cry down.”

“Mattie, that’s okay, you can come here anytime.”

“No, I mean I came here because I wanted to ask you a
question.”

“Oh, okay, shoot.”

“Why aren’t you and Harm dating anymore?”

Mac cleared her throat with a little cough, she had
been caught off guard here. “Um, Mattie, Harm and I
have never dated.”

Mattie interjected, “But you guys seem to have so much
history.”

Great thought Mac, are we that transparent to
everyone? “Mattie, our relationship is …

“I know complicated,” Mattie said rolling her eyes.

“I just don’t understand why you two aren’t together?
I mean look at what you said in court, about Cmdr.
Rabb is the kind of man I would want to have children
with, don’t you want that?”

“Oh Mattie, It’s just, well, we’ve never been able to
get where we want to be, we are always in our own
way.”

“Mac, what are you talking about?”

“I’ve never been very good about letting people in,
about trusting people, it comes from what I was
telling you before. I never dealt with my feelings, I
never understood why I never felt good enough to
believe that someone would actually love me, and I
always pushed them away before they had a chance to
push me away. I have messed up every relationship I
have ever been in and I could never live with myself
if I messed up with Harm, so I have never gone down
that road. I can’t believe I am saying all of this out
loud to you. Not that it matters, because Harm has
never wanted to go down that road either.”

“Look Mattie, this has been a little too much therapy
for me today, how about I drive you down to the pizza
place and eat with you and Jen?” 

“That’d be great Mac, and don’t worry, you can trust
me, I won’t say anything to Harm, I can keep a
secret.”

“I know Mattie, I trust you.”

“Let’s go.”

Just as Mac is about to open the door, there is a
knock.

Mattie is off to the side as Mac opens the door to
reveal Clayton Webb and a boquet of spring flowers.

“Clay,” Mac is clearly flustered, not having heard
from him in a month, she was kind of liking the fact
that he was never there, another excuse for her to
hide behind to not have a real relationship. “What are
you doing here?”

“And I’ve missed you to sweet heart. Here, these are
for you, get dressed, I want to take you out tonight.”
he moved in for a kiss and Mac awkwardly turned her
cheek. 

“Clay, this is Mattie Grace, Harm’s ward.” 

“Pleased to meet you Mattie, I am sorry I didn’t know
that you had company.”

Mattie had been standing there taking it all in, she
may only be in high school, but she caught that Webb
was trying to be all over Mac and Mac was acting very
uncomfortable. She had no idea who he was and thought
to herself, adults really do know how to screw
everything up don’t they? 

“Clay, I can’t, um, Mattie and I were just, um …..”

Mattie stepped toward the door, “Don’t worry Mac, I
was planning on catching a cab anyway, thanks for
today, I’ll see you,” and she was gone.

“Mattie, wait,” Mac called after her, but she was
already out the door, Mac couldn’t tell what just
happened, but she was pretty sure Mattie put two and
two together and she thought Mattie was mad at her.
Hell, why shouldn’t she be. Mac was mad at herself and
at Clay. This had gone on far enough it was time to do
something about it.

“Clay,” Mac started as he was moving in for a kiss, he
had his hands all over her and Mac had to duck out of
the way of his mouth. 

“Clay, we need to talk.”

Clayton Webb tensed up at those words, he knew this
was coming. “What, you don’t like the flowers?”

“Very funny, look, I haven’t heard from you in a
month…”

He interrupted her, “Deep cover, need to know, look,
I’ve been thinking about you every second that I was
gone, I really missed you, I love you .”

“Clay, I really care about you a lot, and what we went
through in Paraguay, I …(sigh) Look, I’ve been through
a lot while you’ve been gone. I even saw a shrink.
Anyway, I’ve realized that I can’t deny my feelings
anymore. You’re the one who said I hide behind Harm as
an excuse not to have a relationship, well, there’s so
much more than that. I think I was so flattered by
your attention and affection, I thought I could make
us work, but …”

The ever charming and graceful Clayton Webb, looked
her in the eyes and said, “ I wanted to make us work
to Sarah, if you ever need anything, I will always be
there for you. You know that.”

“Yes, goodbye Clay.” Webb leaned in for one last
tender kiss, and then he was gone.

Mac felt the weight lift off of her, “This dealing
with your feelings really works.”

Mac put on her running clothes and went for a run in
Rock Creek Park, it was a beautiful spring evening.

 

 

Friday 1700 EST 

YMCA

Harm and Sturgis had just finished a long hard game of
one on one. Harm won again. “So where are you taking
me to dinner, buddy?” Harm asked Sturgis a little out
of breath. Sturgis pointed to the door, 

“Looks like someone wants to talk to you first.”

Harm looked up to see a very pregnant Catherine Gale
standing in the door. He went over to talk to her.

“Hi, how’s your mom?”

“She’s fine, look, can we talk?”

“Sure, um, I’ll meet you out front in ten.”

Harm asked Sturgis for a rain check and Sturgis just
shook his head trying to figure out what his friend
was up to now.

Ten minutes later a freshly showered Harm in jeans and
a blue and white button shirt appeared out front. He
and Catherine went out for Thai food and made small
talk for a while and then Catherine said,

“Look Harm, I thought that I could do all of this by
myself, but now that I’m less than 3 weeks away, I am
starting to get really scared.”

Harm always wanting to be the rescuer without
hesitation said, “Catherine, I’ll do anything I can to
help.”

“I know you would, but that is not why I’m here. I
just want someone to talk this out with. Okay?”

“Okay, shoot.”

“Well, the father still doesn’t know about the baby. I
mean it wasn’t exactly like we were in a relationship.
We had a few nights together, he was busy with a lot
of away missions, I was busy with work, I didn’t want
anything more. I know he didn’t either. Well, I
decided I was going to tell him, just so he’d know and
I don’t want him to get the wrong idea, I don’t need
anything from him, just peace of mind for myself and
if he wants to be involved that is fine.”

Harm was a good listener, “Sounds like you know what
you want and I think it is only fair if the guy knows,
I would want to know,” he said wistfully.

Catherine picked up on the tone in his voice and saw
her chance, “Harm, I know it is none of my business,
but I thought when you went to Paraguay, well, I
thought you and Colnel Mackenzie were involved.”

“Hmmm, that’s a long story.”

“Oh, well, you see, here is where I don’t know what to
do. I decided to tell the father, but then I found out
he is seeing someone. Someone that you know.”

“Are you telling me that Webb is the…” Harm had so
many feelings crashing through his head at once, he
didn’t know where to begin. He was happy because this
would definitely end Mac’s relationship with Webb,
then he felt guilty because he realized that this
might upset Mac, and further damage her self esteem
and opinions of how her relationships go, he was
concerned for Catherine, but he was really angry with
Webb, how could he be so careless and hurt two women
that he cared about.

“Harm, stop, now I told you, he doesn’t know and I’m
the one who told him no strings attached. I just don’t
want to ruin any relationship that they have but I
think he should know, what do you think?”

 

Friday 1830 EST

Mellow Mushroom Pizza

“Mattie, over here!” Petty Officer Coates called out
to the teen as she entered the pizza place.

“Hey how was the library?”

“I didn’t go to the library, I went by Mac’s
apartment, I just don’t understand what is going on
with them.”

“Mattie, I thought I told you not to get involved.”

“Jen it is so clear that they are crazy about each
other, I mean this guy showed up at Mac’s with flowers
and he was trying to be all over her, but it was so
obvious that she doesn’t even like him that way.”

“Oh, that would be Agent Webb, he’s in the CIA, they
went through a major ordeal down in Paraguay, I think
it made them really close.”

“Yeah, well there’s really close and then there’s
fireworks and chemistry,” Mattie sighed.

“Jen, I just want Harm to be happy and….

“Then you need to let him figure it out on his own.”


Mattie pleaded, “But maybe they just need a little
help.”

Jen sighed, “I know I’m going to regret this, but
what’d you have in mind?”

 

2000 EST

North of Union Station

Harm strummed the guitar as his thoughts danced around
what he wanted to say to Mac. Catherine had called
Webb from the resteraunt and he was actually home. He
had told her he was alone and that she could stop by.
What was this going to do to Mac? Why was she still
with Webb anyway? 

Unless, it was an excuse not to get closer to him. He
heard the elevator open and Jen and Mattie in the hall
giggling. He was glad that those two had gotten close.
Then he remembered his conversation with Mattie the
other night in which she informed him that they often
talk about him and he began to get uncomfortable.

He opened the door, “Hey guys, how was dinner?”

Mattie looked surprised, “Great, I thought that you
were hanging out with Sturgis tonight?”

“Yeah, change of plans.”

“How was school?”

Jen headed for her door, “I’ll talk to you guys later,
good night Commander.”

“Good night Petty Officer.”

Harm and Mattie went inside and sat on the sofa. “So,
how was school?”

“It was fine, I got a B on my history test.”

“That’s great. Do you want to watch a movie or play
scrabble or something?”

“Harm, I went to Mac’s apartment after school today.”

“Why?” he said, way to quickly and a little more
loudly than he meant to.

“Don’t worry, you can trust me, I didn’t betray
anything that you told me. We had a great talk, we
talked about my dad, her father, alcoholism, not
dealing with your feelings and what it can do to your
relationships. Ring a bell?”

“Look Mattie, you are about to cross a line here, I
told you that with Mac and I ….

“I know, I know, it’s complicated. I just don’t
understand, I see the sparks flying every time you
guys are near each other, I mean there were no sparks
whatsoever between her and that Webb guy…

“Webb was there?”

“Yeah, he came in as I was leaving, but you could so
totally tell that she did not want him there.”

“Harm, earth to Harm”

“Sorry Mattie, I just was thinking about something
else.”

“Yeah, like Mac? Harm, why don’t you just go over
there and tell her that you love her?”

“I tried that once before and it didn’t work.”

“You actually went to her and told her that you loved
her.”

“No, not actually in those words, but she knew what I
meant.”

“Sir,” Harm looked up, Jen had come in. He didn’t know
if he was angry or embarrassed or what.

“Petty Officer, I don’t think…”

“Sir, please just hear me out, I am so tired of
dealing with you people who shut out your feelings and
won’t listen to me, between the admiral and oh….
Anyway, I am a psychology major and a woman, let me
just enlighten you.” 

Mattie and Jen shared a wink and Jen launched into
their prepared attack.

2000 EST

Georgetown

Mac’s apartment

Mac came in from her run, feeling the good kind of
tired. She had done a lot of thinking and was feeling
light and truly at peace with herself. She took a
shower and decided to go ahead with her plan. A half
hour later she was on the beltway on her way to see
the admiral.

2100 EST 

McLellan, Virginia

The Admiral’s house

Mac was glad to see the lights on and the SUV out
front. At least he was home, 9:00 wasn’t too late was
it? Oh hell, why start being rational now? Mac knocked
on the door and a few minutes later a surprised
Admiral Chegwidden and his dog Damnit were standing
there with a questioning look.

“Admiral, I’m sorry to bother you, but I need to talk
to you about the permanent position for a judge that
you are going to post a vacancy for Monday.” Mac
stared straight ahead and tried to maintain her
composure.

“Colnel, it is 2100 on a Friday night, Why are you
here?”

“Begging the Admiral’s pardon sir, there is something
that I need to do tomorrow and I don’t want to have
any obstacles standing in my way sir. I appreciate all
of the opportunities that you have given me and I have
had such a rewarding career as an attorney, but in
light of recent personal events, I do not want my
career to be all that I have. I have a real chance at
happiness despite the fact that I have tried to screw
it up countless times. I want to be happy, I deserve
to be happy, I don’t know what’s going to happen sir,
but I need to enter into this without screwing up my
career. You had mentioned that the Inspector General’s
office had some bench positions, this would put me in
a different chain of command and remove that
obstacle.”

Mac finally paused and with some courage looked to see
what kind of a reaction the Admiral was having. She
was surprised to see a genuine, kind smile on his
face. A.J. for his part was delighted. He truly cared
for his staff and over the last nine years they had
all been through a lot. He was not blind to the
fireworks that went on between his chief of staff and
a certain lawyer with a penchant for crashing
airplanes. 

With a smile the Admiral said, “Mac, I think you will
make an excellent judge, you will have my
recommendation to the I.G. and the SecNav on Monday
morning.”

“Thank you sir,” Mac said with a huge sigh of relief
and a smile.

“Have you told him yet?”

“Sir?” Mac blushed and looked away.

“It’s alright Mac, you should have seen him when you
were lost in Paraguay. He needs you. I never did
understand how you two came out of that situation
without getting together.”

“Well sir, that would be me being to scared to mess
everything up. But, I’ve grown a lot since then, and I
am willing to do whatever it takes now.”

“Well, Mac it’s about damn time. Now if you’ll excuse
me, I will see you at the Roberts house tomorrow.”

“Aye-Aye Sir, thank you and goodnight.”

As A.J. watched Mac get into her vette and drive away,
he continued to feel like JAG was needing him less and
less and it was becoming time to move on.

Saturday, 1500 EST

The Roberts House

There were balloons on the mail box as Mac pulled up,
there were already a ton of cars in the circle drive
and lining the street. She grabbed her present from
the passenger seat and headed for the door. She knew
that he remembered their promise because they had
rehashed it just last year, but so much had happened
since then. He was there, she saw him in the back
helping Bud grill the burgers and hot dogs. God, he
looked good, she had butterflies in her stomach. She
spent the next hour playing with little A.J., talking
to Harriet, holding baby James, (it felt so good to
hold a little baby) and truly enjoying herself. And
that’s when he spotted her.

He had been grilling the burgers with Bud when the
Admiral came out to say hello. It had really taken
Harm by surprise when the admiral told him,
“Commander, a word,” Harm and the Admiral stepped over
to the side. “There have been some change of orders
down at JAG, you are my new chief of staff to replace
Colnel Mackenzie who is accepting a bench position
with the Office of the Inspector General. So I hope
you can get your head out of your six and marry that
woman before I grow old and senile, that’ll be all,”
and the Admiral went back inside. 

After all of his coaxing from Mattie and Jen last
night, and now this from the Admiral, Harm couldn’t
believe that it could be this easy. But why not, why
make it so complicated, didn’t she once tell him that
he made simple things complicated. He wondered did she
know about Webb and Catherine yet, he went to find
her, and that is when he saw her holding baby James.
She was absolutely glowing. She was the most beautiful
woman he’d ever seen. She looked different, she was at
peace with herself. She looked up and caught him
staring at her. Her breath caught in her throat and
she felt her knees go weak. He had looked at her like
that before, on the porch at the Admiral’s so many
years ago. But now, there was no one else waiting for
her inside, now there were no obstacles. She handed
baby James back to Harriet and walked towards him out
on the deck. The rest of the party had moved into the
den to open the presents. It was just the two of them
alone on the deck.

“Hi, I was wondering where you were,” Mac said as she
came to stand in front of him.

She was standing close and she was definitely flirting
with him, something in her eyes was reaching into his
soul and letting him know that yes, she was ready now,
what about you?

“Mac, you look amazing today.”

“Not so bad yourself sailor.”

“How’s Webb?”

“He is fine, but, he and I are no longer an item.”

“Oh, Mac, I am…., well, …I am not sorry to hear that,
in fact, I am extremely happy to hear that, no in fact
I……, well, what I mean….., oh, are you okay with
that?”

Mac laughed and showed him a glorious smile, “It was
my idea flyboy, seems that my heart wasn’t in it.”

Harm and Mac stood inches from each other sparks
flying back and forth between them. Then Mac saw
something in Harm’s eyes and knew that he wouldn’t
turn her down this time, not in a million years, so
she went for it and said, “You see Harm, my heart has
always been somewhere else. I was always afraid that I
would ruin my own happiness, but now I know that I
deserve to be happy. I took a position with the I.G.’s
office, it’s local so I’m not going anywhere, but now
I am in a different chain of command from you.”

They were moving even closer together as she spoke and
now Harm only had to barely breathe the words into her
ear. “I know that I’ve never been very good at this
either, but I need you to know that I am in love with
you. I can’t stand the days that I don’t get to see
you. I don’t care if you want to be physically or
emotionally on top, I need you.” 

He was just above a whisper in the most sincere tone
she had ever heard him use. But the look in his eyes
was so intense that she grabbed onto his arms to keep
the ground from spinning. He was holding her and she
felt like she was home. She turned her mouth up to his
and time stopped as they shared so many feelings in
their first uninhibited real kiss.

Harm puased for air and said, “Let’s get back to the
party and watch our godson open his presents, then,
let’s go start planning our wedding and buying our
house so we can decorate our baby’s room. Because, we
have a deal and I can’t wait to keep my promise.”

They entered the party holding hands which brought
smiles to all of their friends faces, especially
Harriet, Mattie, and Jen. 

The End