#03618
Turrs By Express Post (Bernie Sheaves) video
#2428: YouTube video by NLTreasure
©2013 ~ Used with permission ~

In the mail they send most everything,
From a turkey to a diamond ring;
Once in the envelope, no one can tell,
That's how my wife sent the turrs up in the mail.

Lisa called down from Ontario,
She said up here it's so freezing cold;
I'd like to have something to make my blood stir,
What I wouldn't give for a good feed of turrs.

Marina relayed the message to Uncle Fred,
She told him exactly what Lisa said;
He said don't worry, in a week or so,
The turrs will be on their way to Ontario.

For the price of twenty dollars one can't lose,
If it's gonna help fight the Winter blues;
Once in the envelope, no one will know,
Express Post is the only way to go.

Early Wednesday morning Lisa got the call,
The turrs had arrived in no time at all;
Please tell me, m'am, what am I looking at?
It's a Newfoundland bird - like a chicken, only black.

Dressed in her finest she drove to Canada Post,
Not knowing the parcel waiting was so gross;
The first thing she noticed was the dreadful smell,
Something had died, that she could tell.

Then she saw her name among the parcels there,
Oh, what a mess - there was blood everywhere.

For the price of twenty dollars one can't lose,
If it's gonna help fight the Winter blues;
Once in the envelope, no one will know,
Express Post is the only way to go.

Feeling so embarrassed, she didn't know what to do,
Would she be charged - she didn't have a clue;
After they assured her the thing was alright,
She called home and left this message that night:

Thank you for sending the turrs up in the mail,
But it's a wonder I'm not in jail;
I would have been better off if I had bought a roast,
And stayed far away from the Express Post.

For the price of twenty dollars one can't lose,
If it's gonna help fight the Winter blues;
Once in the envelope, no one will know,
Express Post is the only way to go.

####.... Bernie Sheaves of Port aux Basques, NL ....####
The video above features a recording by Bernie Sheaves (Alvin's Last Ride trk#4, 2007 CD, Independent, SWC Productions, English Harbour West, NL - To purchase an album, contact Bernie-Marina Sheaves on facebook).

See more songs by Bernie Sheaves.

From the Dictionary Of Newfoundland English:
Turr - One of several sea-birds hunted as food; Atlantic common murre; Baccalieu Bird (Uria aalge aalge); Brünnich's thick-billed murre (Uria lomvia lomvia).



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