My father and mother were excellent folks,
They spent half their time in practical jokes;
And when I was born they were both of one mind,
They said I should have all the names they could find;
So they considered as wise as could be,
And this is the handle they stuck onto me:
Jonathan, Joseph, Jeremiah,
Timothy, Titus, Obadiah,
William, Henry, Walter, Sim,
Reuben Rufus, Solomon, Jim,
Nathaniel, Daniel, Abraham,
Roderick, Frederick, Peter, Sam,
Hyman, Tyman, Nicholas, Tat,
Christopher, David, Jehosaphat.
I joined the societies there in the town,
My name on the rolls it was all written down;
The clerk in the meeting was calling the roll,
When he got through my name, there wasn't a soul;
For to wait for the ending, they were all so vext,
They said they'd go home and come back for the next.
Jonathan, Joseph, Jeremiah,
Timothy, Titus, Obadiah,
William, Henry, Walter, Sim,
Reuben Rufus, Solomon, Jim,
Nathaniel, Daniel, Abraham,
Roderick, Frederick, Peter, Sam,
Hyman, Tyman, Nicholas, Tat,
Christopher, David, Jehosaphat.
When I came to get married, the case was as bad,
The parson stared at me, he thought I was mad;
"That your parents denied you a sensible name,"
Said he, "Young man, that's a very great shame;
But we'll say nothing more, for reasons of mine,
But you'll have to get married a bit at a time."
Jonathan, Joseph, Jeremiah,
Timothy, Titus, Obadiah,
William, Henry, Walter, Sim,
Reuben Rufus, Solomon, Jim,
Nathaniel, Daniel, Abraham,
Roderick, Frederick, Peter, Sam,
Hyman, Tyman, Nicholas, Tat,
Christopher, David, Jehosaphat.