#03265
Like Ya Would (Joey Smallwood) video
See also: Like Ya Would (The Punters)
#286: YouTube video by oldirishladdie
©2010 ~ Used with permission ~

Last Saturday night, I was invited
by an old-time friend of mine,
To eat his lobster salad
and drink his beer and wine;
We drank a toast unto each other
until the hour of two,
Me head was kind of shaky,
and me legs was shaky, too.

Like ya would!

But anyhow, I staggered home,
and I think my prayers I said,
But anyhow, I was paralyzed
when I got into bed;
I dreamt I died and went to heaven
and met St Peter at the gate,
And I found repentance for me
was just a bit too late.

Like ya would!

"You go out!" St Peter said,
"You know you can't come in.
You know you'll have to suffer
for your awful gluttonous sins."
Just then I turned away
to hide me grief and shame,
And I saw St Peter's clerk close by.
He wrote 'lost' above me name.

Like ya would!

Then next that came was an old maid,
she was bound to have her say,
And she addressed St Peter
in a peculiar sort of way:
"O, goodly Father Peter,
I come to you at last,
As one request I ask of you,
if you would let me pass."

Like ya would!

"O, blessed Father,
O, won't you let me in,
And give me a nice little place to myself
away from those naughty men?"
"You go out!" St Peter said,
"No angels have grey hairs,
You got no sons nor daughters,
so you can't come in here."

Like ya would!

The poor old maid she's turned away,
forever to repine,
Like me and all the rest of us,
she entered in the line.
Now next that came was Paddy.
Yes, the son of old Erin's Isle,
And he addressed St Peter
with a lovely, gracious smile.

Like ya would!

"Is this yourself, St Peter?
You're looking so nice and swate,
So open the door and let me in
and show me to me seat."
"O no, me boy, your case,
like the rest, must be tried.
You have to show a pass
before you get inside."

Like ya would!

"Hurry up, St Peter,
or for supper I'll be late,"
Then took off his old slouch hat
and threw it inside the gate.
"Go get that hat," St Peter said,
"You sacrilegious lout."
Pat ran in and closed the gate
and locked St Peter out!

Like ya would!

Through the keyhole paddy cried,
"I'm keeping all your keys,
I'll give you the key, St Peter,
if you'll set old ireland free!"
Now when I awoke,
me head was jammed
between the bed and wall,
Me feet were tangled in the quilt -
'Twas those lobsters done it all.

Like ya would! Like ya would!
Yes ya would! Yes ya would!
Like ya would! Yes ya would!

####.... J W Keller ....####
Variant of Kelley's Dream found in American Old Time Song Lyrics: Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volumes 50 and 28.

The video above features Joseph R (Joey) Smallwood [1900-1991] of Gambo, NL, the first premier of Newfoundland (1949-1972) performing a live, one man sketch on the Sons of Erin TV show broadcast c.1980 on Newfoundland Television (NTV).

This narration was also recorded by Joseph R Smallwood (Joey Smallwood 'A Living Legend', Collector's Issue, Volume 1, trk#1, 1979 LP, Robin Records, St John's, NL, Gordon Rowat: producer; R Robin: executive producer; recorded at Newfound Sound).



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