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Here's a story of a fellow who lives next door to me,
His name is Rich Loach and it happened in '53;
He came home from workin' and he had quite a load,
He was workin' out in Lewisporte, tarring the road.
He came home to see Mary and his wee kiddies two,
Walked in the door and he smelled the home brew;
Sittin' at the table was his young brother Dan,
A smile on his face and a drink in his hand.
"Well, what's that you're drinkin'," said Rich with a grin,
"Sit down, me b'y, and have some Japanese gin;
It's one nipple good, will cure all your ills,
You'll have no cause for doctors and all of their bills."
Well, they had a few drinks, a few stories they told,
The days at the ice and the wind and the cold;
After they drank another one down,
They thought of the spuds that were still in the ground.
Well, the spuds must come out before the first frost,
If not, they would spoil and the crop would be lost;
He went to the barn and he opened the stall,
To haul in the spuds he would need his mare Moll.
Now, Rich and Dan were digging up the spuds that were there,
Started to feel their legs gettin' queer;
Rich said to Dan with a silly old grin,
"Let's have one more drink of that Japanese gin."
Well, they towed up two barrels and they had lots of trouble,
Counted up four - they were both seein' double;
They loaded old Moll, to the cellar they started,
Then Mary gave a yank, and with that she darted.
Well Richie fell down, and Dan he did, too,
Moll she kicked over, and the spuds how they flew;
Then the boys' father came out through the door,
He looked at the mare and he started to roar.
Now poor old Moll she was caught in the tree,
Both Rich and Dan they were down on their knees;
Caught in the bushes 'cause she was pretty stout,
And Rich yelled to Dan, "B'y, she'll never get out!"
Now the boys sobered up later on the next day,
Thawed out the spuds that were frozen in clay;
Rich looked at Dan and he said, "It's a sin,
We lost all our spuds from drinkin' that gin."
Come all you good people who dig spuds in the fall,
Let this be a lesson to you one and all:
Make sure you're sober before you begin,
And boys, stay away from that Japanese gin,
'Cause you can't dig potatoes while drinkin' that gin.
