#02851
The History Of The World (Johnny Burke)

Oh, I came from Upper Gullies,
and me head filled up with knowledge;
And I never went to free school
or any other college;
But one thing I will tell you,
that is if you are willing,
I will tell you how this world was made
while you are groping for a shilling.

Walk in, walk in, walk in, I say,
Oh, walk into the parlor,
you'll hear the banjo play;
And gather 'round the kitchen fire,
and hear the ******'s groans,
And watch the ******'s fingers
while he plays upon the bones.

The world was made in six days,
and then they made the sky,
And then they hung it overhead
and left it there to dry;
And then they made the stars
out of ****** wenches' eyes,
To give a little light
when the moon it didn't rise.

Walk in, walk in, walk in, I say,
Oh, walk into the parlor,
you'll hear the banjo play;
And gather 'round the kitchen fire,
and hear the ******'s groans,
And watch the ******'s fingers
while he plays upon the bones.

First they made the horse police
and put them on the street,
Then they made the little caps
to make them look complete;
Then they made the penitentiary,
and then they got the throng,
And then they had them nice and handy
for the races on the pond.

Walk in, walk in, walk in, I say,
Oh, walk into the parlor,
you'll hear the banjo play;
And gather 'round the kitchen fire,
and hear the ******'s groans,
And watch the ******'s fingers
while he plays upon the bones.

Next they made the Councillors,
and then they made the Mayor,
And then they made the Treasurer,
and put them in the chair;
And then they made the taxes
to raise the people's hearts,
And then they put the taxes
on the horses and the carts.

Walk in, walk in, walk in, I say,
Oh, walk into the parlor,
you'll hear the banjo play;
And gather 'round the kitchen fire,
and hear the ******'s groans,
And watch the ******'s fingers
while he plays upon the bones.

And then they made the cab-man's rules,
a system that is grand,
And everything so simple
that a child can understand;
And then the rules they printed,
and they hung them in the Hall,
And then they made the lunatic
when you retained them all.

Walk in, walk in, walk in, I say,
Oh, walk into the parlor,
you'll hear the banjo play;
And gather 'round the kitchen fire,
and hear the ******'s groans,
And watch the ******'s fingers
while he plays upon the bones.

And then they made the nickel shows,
and then they made the tin,
And then they made the kids
to get the people in;
And then they made the Constable,

and then they made the clout,
And then they made the hobnail
to boot the small boy out.

Walk in, walk in, walk in, I say,
Oh, walk into the parlor,
you'll hear the banjo play;
And gather 'round the kitchen fire,
and hear the ******'s groans,
And watch the ******'s fingers
while he plays upon the bones.

Then they made Regatta Day,
and then they made the boat,
And then they made the Coxswain
with the fancy linen coat;
And then they got the bag of rags,
and then they got the crew,
And soaked them in molasses
for the losing crew to chew.

Walk in, walk in, walk in, I say,
Oh, walk into the parlor,
you'll hear the banjo play;
And gather 'round the kitchen fire,
and hear the ******'s groans,
And watch the ******'s fingers
while he plays upon the bones.

Next they made the Judges
to get the boats in line,
Then they made the Aberdeens
to give the proper time;
Then they made the fowling-piece
to start them every race,
Then they made the Judge's boat
to give the winning pace.

Walk in, walk in, walk in, I say,
Oh, walk into the parlor,
you'll hear the banjo play;
And gather 'round the kitchen fire,
and hear the ******'s groans,
And watch the ******'s fingers
while he plays upon the bones.

Then they made the motor cars
so they can run them well,
And then they made the gasoline,
and then they made the smell;
Then they made the dusty streets
the motor cars to glide,
Then they made the crutches
for the lame to jump aside.

Walk in, walk in, walk in, I say,
Oh, walk into the parlor,
you'll hear the banjo play;
And gather 'round the kitchen fire,
and hear the ******'s groans,
And watch the ******'s fingers
while he plays upon the bones.

####.... Johnny Burke [1851-1930] of St John's, NL ....####
Published in Burke's Ballads, p.59, c.1960, compiled by John White and archived at Memorial University of Newfoundland, Libraries, Centre For Newfoundland Studies - Digitized Books collection.

See more songs by Johnny Burke.

From Wikipedia:
Fowling-Piece - historical term for a shotgun, scatter-gun or pepper-gun; a firearm usually designed to be fired from the shoulder, using the energy of a fixed shell to fire a number of small spherical pellets called shot, or a solid projectile called a slug.

From Merriam-Webster OnLine Search:
****** - alteration of earlier words from Middle French, Spanish, Portuguese or Latin dating to 1786. Usually offensive. Although found in the works of such writers of the past as Joseph Conrad, Mark Twain and Charles Dickens, this word now ranks as perhaps the most offensive and inflammatory racial slur in English. Its use by and among some is not always intended or taken as offensive, but it is nonetheless a word expressive of racial hatred and bigotry in modern society. It has therefore been deleted by GEST from the content of this early twentieth century comedy stage song.



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