#02825
Empty Is The Doghouse (Johnny Burke)

Once I had a little dog,
his name was Short Tailed Towser,
A butcher cut his tail off with a cleaver;
For Towser had his trademark
on every cat in town,
For when he'd tackle one he'd never leave her.
His lips were full of blisters,
Where the cats chewed off his whiskers;
For empty is the doghouse where we tied him,
A policeman collared Towser,
put arsenic in his powder,
For empty is the doghouse, Towser's poisoned.

For he's gone away to the happy hunting grounds,
He rose one morning when the sun was shining;
The fleas had all turned out
to find a new lunch route,
For empty is the doghouse, Towser's poisoned.

You should have seen him grin
when he would see a tramp,
It's then he'd put bay windows in his breeches;
His legs were worn off stumpy,
Chasing milk carts 'round the country,
He'd bunions on his knees from jumping ditches.
He had corns upon his ribs,
For when he'd catch them,
how he would paralyze them;
When his chest protector busted,
but he got up and dusted,
For empty is the doghouse, Towser's poisoned.

For he did not take a quiver
way down on the Swanee River,
He went one morning when the sun was shining;
The fleas will find hard weather
since their boarding house took a header,
For empty is the doghouse, Towser's poisoned.

He lay down by the door one morning for a snore,
When a big policeman stopped his happy dozing;
He put a lump of lead in poor old Towser's head,
And put the finishing touch on his reposing.
We buried him next day,
the same as poor dog Tray,
Every bulldog, cracky, terrier and mouser,
With crepe upon their legs
and beavers on their heads,
To pay their last respects to poor old Towser.

For now he's resting still 'longside of Nagle's Hill,
To watch the Little John's each morning rising;
The goats they leap with joy,
since he won the leaden doughboy,
For empty is the doghouse, Towser's poisoned.

####.... Johnny Burke [1851-1930] of St John's, NL ....####
Published in Burke's Ballads, pp.54-55, c.1960, compiled by John White and archived at Memorial University of Newfoundland, Libraries, Centre For Newfoundland Studies - Digitized Books collection.

See more songs by Johnny Burke.

From the Dictionary of Newfoundland English:
Cracky - small, noisy mongrel dog; crackie; krackie.
Crubeen - pig's trotter; especially the hock prepared for food by pickling.

From Dictionary.com:
Doughboy - ² rounded mass of dough, boiled or steamed as a dumpling or deep-fried and served as a hot bread.



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