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My son, you're a long ways from nowhere,
With somewhere somewhere in between;
Your face is as scarred as the old rubber boot,
But you're really no different than me.
My grandfather told me a story,
I think I was wrong at the time;
If there's no one around when they find out you're down,
There's a good chance you've already died.
And that's why God made us Newfies,
To look after people like you;
Yes I know Stompin' Tom Connors,
But I'm not the man in the moon.
If you're hungry you're welcome to dinner,
If you're thirsty I'll give you a beer;
And if you've got a joke that don't piss me off,
Shout it right into my ear.
The neighbour next door he don't know me,
I get drunk, I get stoned, and I write;
He's got more troubles than a rookie cop's ass,
Scarborough Saturday night.
Who knows right away that I snicker and grin,
He don't got no troubles from me;
That leaves him to fight some kid with a knife,
If you see it go down on TV.
And that's why God made us Newfies,
To look after people like you;
Yes I know Stompin' Tom Connors,
But I'm not the man in the moon.
If you're hungry you're welcome to dinner,
If you're thirsty I'll get you a beer;
And if you've got a joke that don't piss me off,
Shout it right into my ear.
We calls it a boost on a bun, my son,
McDonald's got nothing on this;
You can dance with me woman all night if you want,
But I wouldn't be pleased if you kissed.
Other than that we're all brothers,
You take me the way that you see;
And if you're ever in trouble, my son,
You call on me brothers and me.
'Cause that's why God made us Newfies,
To look after people like you;
Yes I know Stompin' Tom Connors,
But I'm not the man in the moon.
If you're hungry you're welcome to dinner, ol' cock,
If you're thirsty I'll give you a beer;
And if you've got a joke that don't piss me off,
Shout it right into my ear.
Yes, if you've got a joke that don't piss me off,
Shout it right into my ear.
The left one, I'm deaf in that one. Heh, heh.
Recorded by Roy Payne of Trout River, NL (Newfoundland Smile, trk#1, 2006, Condor Records).
