Print This Page#02521 Print This Page
Was somewhere in the Green Bay,
Uncle Jim jumped from his chair;
"Holy crow! Six in a row!
Jose, I'm a millionaire.
"Never have we traveled,
But the time have come at last;
Now we're gonna see the world,
From D'John's to Port aux Bas."
Downtown Grand Falls-Windsor,
The cab came to a stop;
Uncle Jimmy went in hardware,
And Jose the beauty shop.
Eye shadow, false eyelashes,
And a wig of long blonde hair;
At eighty-two she looked like new,
The wife of a millionaire.
Uncle Jim passed by a take-out,
The smell sure turned him on;
As he stepped inside he quickly spied,
All alone there set a blonde.
Right away he walked on over,
"Would you mind if I sat here?
By gosh, don't you look lovely,
Call me Jim the millionaire.
"You see, I won the jackpot,
And I'd plank a thousand down;
To be with you this weekend in,
Some motel downtown.
"You know I'm gettin' older,
But I still likes me fun;
And to this day I still can play,
Diddle-dee and diddle-dum.
"That old hag that I married,
Is like a broody hen;
A battle axe, and where she spits,
Grass never grows again.
"She don't believe in lovin',
She'd rather chew her gum;
I can't remember when we played,
Diddle-dee and diddle-dum."
He passed her along a fifty,
"See you friday night at ten;
Now I must go and try and find,
That old broody hen."
In every store and restaurant,
He looked, but all in vain;
Ragin' mad he took a cab,
And went back home again.
His ol' heart started missin',
When he looked and saw the blonde;
Sittin' by the woodstove,
With his steel-nosed rubbers on.
"Come stand beside me, rooster,
I'm your ol' broody hen,
Your battle axe, and where I spit,
Grass never grows again."
She threw away the blonde wig,
"Be gentle with me, Jose."
And a steel-nosed rubber landed,
Right where it'd hurt most.
The pain had struck like lightning,
"Jose, what have you done?"
She said, "Made sure you play no more,
Diddle-dee and diddle-dum."
The screaming drowned the siren,
As they raced around the bay;
"Stand by Grand Falls-Windsor,
Emergency on the way."
Operation cast-e-ration,
Was the fate of uncle Jim;
When he came to, right out of the blue,
These words she said to him:
"Now you can still play bingo,
You can play a game of pool;
You can play Six-Forty-Nine,
The fiddle and the bow.
"You can play accordion,
The guitar and the drum;
But never more will you play,
Diddle-dee and diddle-dum."
To all you Lotto lovers,
Who play Six-Forty-Nine;
I know you have a dream to be,
A millionaire sometime.
Make sure you're not a loser,
If the ticket says you won;
Just keep your cool or there'll be no,
Diddle-dee and diddle-dum.
Just keep your cool or there'll be no,
Diddle-dee and diddle-dum.
Recorded by Wince and Ellis Coles (Love Of A Child / Ellis & Wince Coles, trk#1, 1994, SWC Productions, English Harbour West, NL).
