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Come all you pretty fair maidens of courage brave and true,
And I will teach you how to happy live and avoid all trouble, too;
And if you want a wedded life now plainly understand,
And don't you ever fall in love with some good-looking man.
When at the age of sixteen years a damsel in my prime,
I dearly thought on wedded life and how I'd be at that time;
I dearly thought on wedded life, its pleasure I did scan,
So I sighed and sobbed both night and day to gain a nice young man.
I came by chance as out I stepped to take a pleasant roam,
I met this handsome gentleman who wished to see me home;
I fain said 'No' but 'twas no use, to go with me was his plan,
So to my home I walked along with my good-looking man.
He said to me as on we walked, "My dear and only love,
If you'll consent to marry me I'll ever constant prove;
I'll ever be a husband kind, and do the best I can."
And to my home I walked along with my good-looking man.
He said to me as on we walked, "My dear and only love."
He gently pressed me to his breast, saying, "Oh my Mary dear."
He gently pressed me to his breast, to the clergy's house we ran,
And 'twas there I tied the dreadful knot with my good-looking man.
The clock was just striking ten my gentleman walked in,
I gently said, "My Willie, dear, where has thou so long been?"
"I've been to church, my Mary dear," oh this I could not stand;
With a rolling pin I did let fly at my good-looking man!
I blackened his eyes, I tore his hair, in ribbons I tore his clothes,
I then picked up a poker and laid it across his nose;
He just looked like a chimney-sweep as out the door he ran,
And there was never a lady loved again by my good-looking man.
