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I took the bus from Carbonear and landed in St. John's,
To buy a shirt for Uncle Jim and meself some new put-ons;
I thought I'd stay a day or two as long as I was there,
So I took a room at the boarding house on Federation Square.
My friends, now what a place to stay, you've never seen the like,
There were thirty-two on welfare there and seven more on strike;
Eleven cats and three big dogs and old Jack Cluney's mare,
All staying at the boarding house on Federation Square.
Salt beef and new potatoes was for supper there that night,
I was dyin' for another spud, but I was too polite;
"Go on," said Mrs. Cluney, "love, sure no one here is strange,
So help yourself to all you want in the pot out on the range."
I went out to the Waterloo and took up the kitchen fork,
To spear another tater down among the hunks of pork;
And as I stirred around a bit, I let out three big roars,
For in the bottom with the spuds was Mrs. Cluney's drawers.
"I'll hook 'em out, my dear," said she," and throw them in the sink,
I'll hang them on the line tonight and hope that they don't shrink;
I cooks 'em with the spuds, said she, and then I lets 'em drain,
For the peels they beats the Javex now, for knockin out the stains."
They had a game of Forty-Fives that night at half past eight,
Three tables and the priest were there, we all sat up till late;
Three hours we was quiet, as the grey before the light,
Then on the stroke of midnight there they all began to fight.
Mrs. Cluney told a welfare man he cheated on her ace,
And he picked up a damper dog and stuffed it in her face;
In spite she grabbed a boiler full of partridge berry jam,
And began to glaze her partner like a fancy Easter ham.
I jumped into the bed at last to get a good night's rest,
How foolish was I then to think, at last I'd passed the test;
I went to turn out on me side, but the mattress it was soft,
And a spring shot out from underneath and pinned me to the loft.
I was hanging from the ceiling like a bell on Christmas eve,
When I looked down upon the sheet and what did I perceive:
A bedbug big as Morey's cat was waitin' on the scene,
A-twitchin' his antenna like a trouter on a stream.
"Come down," said he, "you had your feed and now it's time for mine,
The Lord looks after every little creature in it's time;
Come down," said he, "your lovely legs, they look so nice and large,
Come down, you bloody coward, and I'll show you who's in charge."
I hardly have to tell you that next day I left a wreck,
And kindly Mrs. Cluney, she refused to take the cheque;
"No charge the first time here," says she, "I always says to Jack,
For once a person stays with us, we know that they'll be back."
My friends, now what a place to stay, you've never seen the like,
There were thirty-two on welfare there and seven more on strike;
Eleven cats and three big dogs and old Jack Cluney's mare,
All staying at the boarding house on Federation Square.
From the Dictionary Of Newfoundland English:
Damper dog - pancake made of a flour and water mixture and cooked on top of the stove; flacoon.
Partridge berry - a low creeping plant producing small tart red berries; the berry of this plant harvested on the barrens in the autumn; mountain cranberry (Vaccinium vitis-idaea).
Waterloo - brand of cast-iron kitchen stoves popular in the 19th and 20th centuries which would take a birch billet probably two feet long and was often the only source of home heating.
