Eli's On The Weed

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Standing in the line-up at a well known bank in town,
Eli waited for a loan, his stage was falling down;
His nerves was all unravelled, he had never had a loan,
His hand reached for his backy, "My gosh!" he said, " 'Twas home."

An hippy there behind him, dressed all in leather clothes,
Long black hair and the smell of beer, with an earring in his nose:
"I have some wacky-backy," in a whispered tone he spoke,
"Not much for fifty dollars but I gotta' have a smoke."

Soon looking like a chimney, he put smoke everywhere,
As the butt burned to his lip, Uncle Eli takes a chair;
He placed his feet upon her desk, "Me love, how do you do?"
"I have to ask some questions before the loan comes through."

"Well, ask me who the premier is, me brains is all afloat,
There musta been education in that wacky-backy smoke,
'Cause I've never spent a day in school but now I'm just a wiz,
Go ahead, me love, and ask me who the premier is."

"Now, how much cash you needing, sir? Take your feet down off me desk,"
He said, "Don't you be so childish. In a bank as big as this,
You go on out into the vault, I'll stay and have a drag.
Don't bother with the counting, fill up the co-op bag."

She said, "What about your collateral? Will you fill that form out next?"
"My love, the word is 'cholesterol', and mine is up on six.
Is you that hippy's sister, 'cause he could not say 'smoke'?
He couldn't pronounce his esses. No, he had to call it 'toke'."

Josephine then made the call, "Hello, Sergeant Reid?
We have some trouble at the bank, Uncle Eli's on the weed."
As quick as you can change a cheque, in walked the boys in red,
Said Skipper, "We need some answers." And Uncle Eli said:

On the way downtown the mountie said, "You're not allowed to toke."
He said, "Up your nose with a rubber hose," and he filled the cab with smoke.
Soon the mountie's mind was on cloud nine, they was floating in the blue,
He tramped the gas and shouted, "Abba Dabba Do!"

In the station walked Aunt Sophie. Was she surprised to see,
Uncle Eli and the mounties acting hibbony;
Uncle Eli he was Alex, he was giving out a quiz:
"Go ahead, me boys, and tell me who the premier is."

Aunt Sophie grabbed him by the neck, said, "Lord don't let me kill."
She threw away his backy, locked the mounties in the cell.
As Eli left he waved good-bye, said, "History has been made,
I got me education, boys, and the money's in the bag.

"Now, ask me who the premier is, me brains is all afloat,
There musta been education in that wacky-backy smoke;
I've never spent a day in school but now I'm just a wiz,
Go ahead, me boys, and ask me who the premier is,
Go ahead and ask me who the premier is."

####.... Wince and Ellis Coles (Eli's On The Weed). Also recorded by Bobby Evans (Country Favourites) ....####

See more Ellis & Wince Coles songs.

From the Dictionary Of Newfoundland English:
Stage - an elevated platform on the shore with working tables, sheds, etc, where fish are landed and processed for salting and drying, and fishing gear and supplies are stored; fishing stage.

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Notes On Guitar Tabs:
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All guitar tabs have been contributed by visitors to this site and represent their interpretation of the tune. We are unable to verify their accuracy.

[C] Standing in the line-up at a well known bank in [F] town,
Eli waited [C] for a loan, his stage was falling [G] down;
His [C] nerves was all unravelled, he had never had a [F] loan,
His hand reached for his [C] backy, "My [G] gosh," he said, " 'Twas [C] home."

An hippy there behind him, dressed all in leather [F] clothes,
Long black hair and the [C] smell of beer, with a earring in his [G] nose:
"I [C] have some wacky-backy," in a whispered tone he [F] spoke,
"Not much for fifty [C] dollars but I [G] gotta have a [C] smoke."

Soon looking like a chimney, he put smoke every-[F]where,
As the butt burned to his lip, Uncle [C] Eli takes a [G]chair;
He [C] placed his feet upon her desk, "Me love, how do you [F] do?"
"I have to ask some [C]questions [G] before the loan comes [C] through."

[C] "Well, ask me who the premier is, me [F] brains is all [C] afloat,
There musta been education in that [G] wacky-backy smoke,
'Cause I've [C] never spent a day in school but [F] now I'm just a [C] wiz,
Go ahead, me love, and ask me [G] who the premier [C] is."

[C] "Now, how much cash you needing, sir? Take your feet down off me [F] desk."
He said, [C] "Don't you be so childish. In a bank as big as [G] this,
You [C] go on out into the vault, I'll stay and have a [F] drag.
Don't bother with the [C] counting, fill [G] up the co-op [C ]bag."

She said, "What about your collateral? Will you fill that form out [F] next?"
"My love, the word is 'cho[C]lesterol' and mine is up on [G] six.
Is [C] you that hippy's sister, 'cause he could not say [F]'smoke'?
He couldn't pronounce his [C] esses. No, he [G] had to call it [C] 'toke'."

Josephine then made the call, "Hello, Sergeant [F] Reid?"
We have some trouble at the bank, Uncle [C] Eli's on the [G] weed."
As [C] quick as you can change a cheque, in walked the boys in [F] red.
Said Skipper, "We need some [C]answers." And [G] Uncle Eli [C] said:

[C] "Well ask me who the premier is, me [F] brains is all a[C]float,
There musts been education in that [G] wacky-backy smoke,
'Cause I've [C] never spent a day in school but [F] now I'm just a [C] wiz,
Go ahead, me love, and ask me [G] who the premier [C] is."

On the [C] way downtown the mountie said, "You're not allowed to [F] toke."
He said, "Up your nose with a [C] rubber hose," and he filled the cab with [G] smoke.
Soon the [C] mountie's mind was on cloud nine, they was floating in the [F] blue,
He tramped the gas and [C] shouted, [G] "Abba Dabba [C] Do!"

In the station walked Aunt Sophie. Was she surprised to [F]see,
Uncle Eli and the [C] mounties acting hibbon[G]y;
Uncle [C] Eli he was Alex, he was giving out a [F] quiz:
"Go ahead, me boys, and [C] tell me [G] who the premier [C] is."

Aunt Sophie grabbed him by the neck, said, "Lord don't let me [F] kill."
She threw away his [C] backy, locked the mounties in the [G] cell.
As [C]Eli left he waved good-bye, said, "History has been [F]made,
I got me education, boys, and the mon[C]ey's [G] in the [C] bag.

[C]"Now, ask me who the premier is, me [F] brains is all a[C]float,
There musta been education in that [G] wacky-backy smoke;
I've [C] never spent a day in school but [F] now I'm just a [C]wiz,
Go ahead, me boys, and ask me [G] who the premier [C] is.
Go ahead and ask me [G] who the premier [C] is."

~ Chords contributed by Allan Chippett ~