I Is A Newfoundlander

Hey! I'm not on pogey,
And I'm not married to my sister;
I don't eat cod fish tree times a day,
Well dat's cuz dere ain't no more cod fish left.

I don't own a boat or a so'wester,
But I can see a boat from me window;
I don't drink screech,
At least before noon on a weekday anyways.

I don't know Gordon Pincent, or Mary Walsh,
Or Jimmy Flynn, or Rick Mercer;
But I watch Dis Hour Has 22 Minutes every week, eh?

I got a premier named Brian Tobin,
He went to war with Spain over somin' called a turbot;
Ain't sure what a turbot ackshly, but I'm damned if I'm gonna let
Any guy from Spain come and take dem away from me.

I ain't the b'y that builds da boats, and I ain't de b'y that sails em,
But like I said before, I can see a boat from ma window, eh?
I don't dance a jig everytime I hear Celtic music,
But I'll do dat Karaokee ting if I got enough Black Forest beers in me.

I'm still pissed off at Prince Edward Island, for buildin' dat dere bridge,
And not buildin' one out to the rock, them stupid spud heads;
And even though he ain't really a Newfie,
I tink Stompin' Tom Connors should run for Prime Minister.

Newfoundland is the oldest settlement in Nort' America,
And the youngest province in Confederation;
Oh, my grandfudder's still pissed off about dat one,
You don't even wanna talk about Joey Smallwood to grampa.

And even though I lives in Fort McMurray,
Lord tunderin' Jeshus, I still tinks that Newfoundland,
Is the best darn province in the country.
My name is Buddy, and I is a Newfoundlander.

####.... The Arrogant Worms ....####

Parody of the I Am Canadian television commercials aired in early 2000, advertising the Canadian brand of Molson beer in Canada, lampooning Newfoundlanders, and delivered in Newfoundland English.