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Well, I came into a scolding wife a few short years ago,
And ever since I lead a life of misery and woe;
Me wife she is a tyrant, around her rule and in,
Oh, she'd sell me to the devil for a glass or two of gin.
Sure, I get up and go to work as mild as any man,
And she'll get up and dress herself and go and have her dram;
And if I chance to say a word, it's well I know my doom,
She'll follow me with the fire shovel, up and down the room.
And if the devil'd take her, I'd thank him for his pain,
I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again;
And if the devil'd take her, I'd thank him for his pain,
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again.
When I get up at breakfast time she'll tap me on the head,
When I come home at dinnertime I'll find her drunk in bed;
When I come home at suppertime, with patience I must stop,
'Cause she drinks what's in the teapot, and I must drink the slops.
And if the devil'd take her, I'd thank him for his pain,
I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again;
And if the devil'd take her, I'd thank him for his pain,
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again.
Well, once I asked me scolding wife if I could go to bed,
She scarce gave me an hour on the pillow to lay me head;
When like a roaring lion she came busting down the door,
She caught me by the middle and threw me naked on the floor.
And if the devil'd take her, I'd thank him for his pain,
I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again;
And if the devil'd take her, I'd thank him for his pain,
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again.
Now, me and my companions go to a public place,
She'll search around the neighbourhood until she finds my face;
She hoists me up in ridicule before the company,
Sayin, "Petticoats is your master and forevermore shall be."
And if the devil'd take her, I'd thank him for his pain,
I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again;
And if the devil'd take her, I'd thank him for his pain,
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again.
And if the devil'd take her, I'd thank him for his pain,
I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again;
And if the devil'd take her, I'd thank him for his pain,
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again.
And if the devil'd take her, I'd thank him for his pain,
I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again;
And if the devil'd take her, I'd thank him for his pain,
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again.
Variant of The Scolding Wife sung by Jack Knight (b.1885) of Pouch Cove, NL, and published in MacEdward Leach And The Songs Of Atlantic Canada © 2004 Memorial University of Newfoundland Folklore and Language Archive (MUNFLA).
