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I was a cook and she was a waitress,
Down at the Salty Dog Seafood Cafe;
And somewhere 'tween the clam juice and the seaweed salad,
Some little shrimp just lured her away.
Oh, I lobster and never flounder.
He wrapped his line around her,
And they drove off in his carp.
Oh, I lobster and never flounder.
I octopus his face in, he'll only break her heart.
I said just squid and leave me for that piano tuna,
If you want to trout something new;
She was the bass I ever had, now my life has no porpoise,
Oh, my cod, I love her, yes, I do.
Oh, I lobster and never flounder.
He wrapped his line around her,
And they drove off in his carp.
Oh, I lobster and never flounder.
I octopus his face in, he'll only break her heart.
Frankly, Scallop, I don't give a clam....
A variant was recorded as I Lobster Never Flounder by A. Frank Willis (Over The Years, ©1992, EMI Music Canada)
