You may think by the line I'm distorting,
I once kissed the great blarney stone;
I've not, but I'll tell you a story,
I've often kissed Mother Malone.
I'd always walk in with me swagger,
As if the whole place were me own;
I'd sit meself down with "Good evenin',
How are you old Mother Malone?"
Then I'd kiss the old woman and hug the old man,
Give Johnny a dollar and shake hands with Dan;
Fight for me sister and do all I can, do all I can,
Then I'd walk out with me girl Mary Ann.
I'd only been courtin' a fortnight,
When her heart and her hand I had won;
And as soon as I entered the kitchen,
The old lady she called me her son.
Now Johnny's me pal and big brother,
And of him I keep on the right side;
I kiss and I flatter his sister,
For she is me darling and pride.
Then I'd kiss the old woman and hug the old man,
Give Johnny a dollar and shake hands with Dan;
Fight for me sister and do all I can, do all I can,
Then I'd walk out with me girl Mary Ann.
Then I'd walk out with me girl Mary Ann.