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Fifty years in her wee top flat,
The poor auld wumman and her auld tom cat.
In an attic room in Dundee toon,
A poor auld wumman pit the tale aroond;
That she lived a' the years in her wee top flat,
Nae company but her auld tom cat.
Fifty years in her wee top flat,
The poor auld wumman and her auld tom cat.
One night by the fire she felt gey glum,
When what d'ye think cam' doon the lum,
But her fairy godmother sayin', "Have no fear,
Tae grant three wishes they have sent me here."
Fifty years in her wee top flat,
The poor auld wumman and her auld tom cat.
The wumman looked doon at her empty purse,
"I could always use some cash, of course."
The fairy then waved her wand aroond,
Till lyin' on the floor was a thousand pound.
Fifty years in her wee top flat,
The poor auld wumman and her auld tom cat.
"Well, a lovely figure and a face divine,
For tonight, I wish these things were mine."
Said the fairy godmother, "Well, I'll have a go."
She made her look like Biddy Bardot.
Fifty years in her wee top flat,
The poor auld wumman and her auld tom cat.
This beautiful wumman by the fire she sat,
She turned her attention to the auld tom cat;
"He's my only love, so here's my plan,
For tonight, make him a handsome man."
Fifty years in her wee top flat,
The poor auld wumman and her auld tom cat.
This handsome man to the lass come near,
Whispered softly in her ear:
"The night is young, but you'll regret,
The day that ye took me tae the vet!"
Fifty years in her wee top flat,
The poor auld wumman and her auld tom cat.
