Title: Payback Is Hell
Author: Grace
Email: JAGnik_007@hotmail.com
Rating: G. Kids, don't try this stuff at home! (Your parents will make you 
clean up the mess.)
Classification: I have no idea. M for Mischief, and a possible F for Fluff.
Spoilers: Nothing, really. Just one of those spur of the moment pieces I 
felt compelled to write, and I even stayed up past parental regs to write 
it!
Disclaimers: The whole JAG thing belongs to Mr. Bellisario. I like playing 
around with the characters, though. Please don't sue me, I'm only a teenager 
and I have no money.
Summary: After Harm pulls a practical joke on Mac, he needs to realize that 
payback is hell...
Feedback: Feedback can be directed to Gracie at JAGnik_007@hotmail.com. 
Please use my personal address so as not to clutter up the list.
Suck Up Section: Thanks to big sissy ,Q, and some of her friends. You 
inspired me to write this. I felt like I had to.
Author's Corner: This one was fun to write! I can just see Mac and Harriet 
doing something like this. It's just so them. Have fun!

*~* Gracie *~*




It was two days away from Christmas. The perfect time for devilment.

Mac pulled up the Robert's residence. She got out and locked her Corvette. 
Walking right into Harriet's, she let out a long hello. "Hey, Mac! I'll be 
right down!" Harriet descended from the staircase. She had her pajamas on. 
She was going to a sleep over at Mac's, just to get together like they did 
with their respective friends when they were teenagers. "Did you bring the 
goods?" she mischievously asked, with a big grin on her face. "Yeah!" Mac 
had on a smile that equally matched. "Let's go."

Mac slowed to a stop at Harms' Union Station residence. She grabbed her gym 
bag and got out. Harriet jumped from the car, eager to do their 'duty'. They 
rode up the rickety old elevator to his apartment. "Do you think he'll mind 
if we make use of his facilities?" Harriet asked innocently.
"Oh he'll mind. But I'll have to remind him that payback is hell." Harm and 
Bud had recently duct taped them to chairs and tickled them until they told 
where an important meeting was. But before that, Mac had thrown Harm a 
surprise party. And the list just kept getting longer. Mac whipped out her 
spare key to Harm's apartment, in case of an emergency. And boy, this was an 
emergency! They were sure that Harm wasn't home; he and Bud were out at 
Leavenworth, checking up on Clark Palmer, making sure that he 'ain't 
misbehaivin' as Harm had put things. They were due back today, late in the 
evening. Mac unzipped her bag. "Ready, Harriet?"
"Ready," was her reply.

Harriet pulled out two rolls of Charmin. She handed one to Mac. They 
proceeded to drape the soft stuff over everything in Harm's small apartment. 
No corner was left un-toiletpapered. Mac headed back to her gym bag and 
pulled out another kind of roll, this time, it was the Silver Guardian-Duct 
Tape. She then proceeded to tape over every handle she could find, ranging 
from the refrigerator door to the toilet, the windows to the kitchen 
cupboards. Harriet dug around in the bag until she found the box of paper 
umbrellas. She opened each and every 144 of them up and placed them in 
various places around the rooms. Mac whipped out the air pump and balloons. 
They spent the next half-hour blowing 100 balloons up, tying them, and 
scattering them on the floor. Mac took all the empty Tee Pee rolls and stuck 
them on harm's Christmas tree. She pulled all the ornaments off and put them 
in a Wal-Mart bag under the sink. Plugging the lights in, Mac stepped back 
to admire her work.

While Mac was redecorating Harm's Christmas tree, Harriet had a little idea 
of her own. She had slipped a can of sillystring in the sidepocket of the 
bag, and now was the time to use it. She uncapped it and started to write on 
the mirror.

DEAR HARM:

PAYBACK IS HELL.

Harriet grinned as she recapped the sillystring. That ought to get his 
attention! she thought. Harriet proceeded to duct tape Harm's tooth brush 
to his tooth paste. When she was finished, she left the bathroom and joined 
Mac near the Christmas tree.

"OK, Harriet!" she said, "Now that we're finished here, let's go shortsheet 
his bed!" Harriet grinned again. They headed up the steps toward his bed. 
Harriet held the coverlet up while Mac loosened the ends of his sheets. She 
pulled them back up to about where his knees would have been. Harriet 
dropped the duvet, and made sure that his feet would stick out of the end 
once he pulled the blanket up to his chin. "Now for the coup de grace of our 
little fiasco!" Mac stated triumphantly. She returned to the gym bag and 
retrieved the last of the items-forks. Boxes upon boxes of plastic forks. 
She split them with Harriet. Together, they stuffed each drawer until they 
could hardly get them closed. It was the JAG girls' finest hour.

Together, Mac and Harriet stood at the open door, surveying the damage they 
had wrought on Harm's apartment. They realized what all they had done to 
redecorate Harm's apartment. Overcome with fits of giggles, they had to 
support each other until their laughter subsided. Mac consulted her internal 
clock. "Harriet! We need to get going! Harm'll be back any minute!" Mac 
yelped. They knew for sure that he was going to catch them, but it was no 
fun having him know who did it.

They raced out to Mac's car. Throwing the bag in the back, Mac started the 
car and they took off.
Harriet heaved a sigh of relief. "That was close!"
" Too close," Mac agreed. They arrived at Mac's apartment in record time. 
Harriet pulled her bag out of the trunk. They walked up to Mac's floor, 
chattering like magpies all the way. No sooner than they had gotten in the 
door, Mac answered the phone. "It's Harm," she hissed. "get on the other 
line!" Harriet raced to the other phone in Mac's bedroom. Mac heard the 
phone click on.

Harm: Mac, it's Harm. You're never going to believe this. Someone toilet 
papered my apartment!

Mac: (sighs) Oh, Harm. And you just got back from that case out at 
Leavenworth, too! You must be so tired, you can't stand it. (Both Mac and 
Harriet were trying to stifle their laughter. They couldn't even look at 
each other, because they knew if they did, their cover would be blown.

Harm: Oh well. I suppose no one let it slip during the gossip breaks at the 
bull pen that they were going to pay a visit to my house?

Mac: Nope, I haven't heard a word. You know little old me, always the last 
to find out. (Evidently, Harm hadn't had to pee yet.)

Harm: Well, if you ever find out, I'd appreciate it if you would let me 
know. You know what they say-payback is hell. I think I'm gonna hit they 
hay. I'm pretty tuckered out from the plane ride. Night, pookie. Love you.

Mac: Night, Snickerdoodle. Love you too.

Mac hung up the phone. She had forgotten that Harriet was listening in. An 
hour or two later, Mac drug out the sleeping bags. She pushed the couch back 
so there'd be room in front of the tv. Not more than 10 minutes passed and 
they were ready to go to bed. "G'Night, Harriet," Mac said sleepily.
"Goodnight...Pookie..." Mac heard a snort come from Harriet's direction. Mac's 
fingers grabbed her pillow. She could give some one a nice thump with it.
"You know what they say, Harriet-payback is hell," she whispered.