A.N.  Harm's little problem actually happened to a very good friend of
mine when she moved from BC to Alberta.  She doesn't stop there
anymore.


************

"Aaauuugh, dammit Harm I wish you would have stopped at the last gas
station.  How much longer until we get to the next one?"

"But Maaac," Harm whined, "it was on the wrong side of the road.  Not
only that but I just finished passing all of those trucks and RVs and I
don't really want to have to pass them again.  I can pull over if you
want."

Sending her sexy partner looks of death, Mac yanked the map out of the
glove compartment.  Grumbling under her breath "Just 'cuz you've got
outdoor plumbing doesn't mean *I* want to let it all hang out for the
whole world to see" she frantically tried to find anything that even
remotely looked like it might have a washroom.  City, town, rest area,
campground, ANYthing!  Damn men, why can't they ever just STOP the
first time they are asked?  For that matter, why did they always have
to drive?

The longest ten minutes of Mac's life later, an oasis appeared on the
horizon, bringing joy into Mac's heart and bladder.  Noticing that this
rest stop was again on the wrong side of the road, Harm began to open
his mouth, but quickly shut it as Mac threatened his future ability to
father children if he didn't stop at this one. Had Mac not had to visit
the ladies' room so badly, she might have laughed out loud at the
beaten expression Harm wore.  It was so very, "yes dear".  But
breathing was difficult at this point, forget laughing out loud.

The car hadn't even come to a complete stop before the Marine jumped
out and tore into the building, only to come face to face with a tour
bus crowd of seniors, all in line for the single washroom.  

'Marine's do not cry, even in frustration.  Must not yell at seniors. 
Must not cut in line.  Must be patient.'  This mantra played itself
over and over again in Mac's head and she tried very hard not to cross
her legs and dance.

"For those of you who are interested, there are more washrooms in the
restaurant side."  The young man behind the counter directed his
comments at Mac, noting her obvious distress.  

With a relieved "thank you!" to the clerk, Mac raced off in search of
relief.

Meanwhile, Harm had taken his time, for there never seemed to any any
line ups for the mens' room.  Sauntering back into the restaurant area,
he decided to grab some coffee for the next leg of the trip.  'Or maybe
I shouldn't get anything for Mac.  What goes in must go out'  He
snickered out loud as he got in line to order two large double doubles.

From the corner of his eye, Harm noticed a tall, beautiful blonde woman
smiling at him from the other end of the line.  Hoping that Mac wasn't
around, he smiled back.  Oh sure, he knew nothing could ever come of
it, strange woman in a far away gas station, not to mention his
feelings for Mac, but still, it did his ego good to see that he still
had it.  

The line up was moving quickly and he was able to place his order.  The
blonde woman slowly looked him up and down.  When her gaze went back
down his body, the woman's smile got bigger.

'Oh yeah, baby, I still got it' Harm thought with a chuckle. 

Just then, the woman crooked her finger with a "come hither" look. 
Closing the last feet between himself and the woman, Harm's smile was
as big as the wingspan of his beloved Tomcats.  She sidled up to him,
snaked her wrist around his neck and pulled his ear down to her mouth.

She whispered in his ear, her breath tickling his neck.  "Did you know
that you have a lot of toilet paper attached to your shoe?"

Harm's eyes whipped down to his feet.  Sure enough, there was about ten
feet of toilet paper trailing from his left shoe.  Feeling the fire
rising in his cheeks, he bent over to yank the offending paper from his
shoe, and ran away.

"Sir?  Your coffee is ready?  Two large double doubles.  Sir?", the
confused clerk called after him.  "Huh.  Guess he figured out about the
t.p.  Next!"

"Please be at the car, Mac," Harm prayed as he ran towards the car. 
Glancing up at the sign, he burned it into his memory as "Place I Never
Want To See Again.  Ever."

Someone must have heard Harm's prayer, for Mac was certainly waiting at
the car.  Too bad for Harm, she was doubled over at the waist with
tears running down her face as she howled out loud.  

"Oh Jesus Harm, that's the funniest thing I've EVER seen!  Oh you
should have seen the look on your face when that woman smiled at you!"

"Mackenzie, right now I don't ever care if you shut up, just get in the
car." Harm ordered, anxious to get the hell out of there.  Knowing he
shouldn't, he glanced over his shoulder as he practically dove into the
car, and saw the blonde woman still giggling in the window.

Still laughing about as hard as she ever had, Mac was gasping for air
and pawing the tears from her cheeks.  "Did you know if you transpose
the a and the i in trial, you get TRAIL?  Talk about a TRIAL lawyer's long TRAIL of PAPERwork!"  She was the only one in the vehicle to find that statement funny as she fell into laughter again.  

Her only answer was a glare over the top of Harm's aviator sunglasses,
and a simple statement.  "Someday, Marine, you will get yours.  And
when you do, be assured that I will be there."