Title:  Mitigating Circumstances
Author:  Vivienne
Rating:  R
Feedback:  Very welcome, send to vakhdar@yahoo.com

Disclaimers:  Not my characters, just wanted to play with 
them.  Not making any money.  (sigh)

Takes place immediately following Exculpatory Evidence

JAG Headquarters
1330 Local

"I'm so sorry, but I have an appointment I'm going to be 
late for.  Meredith, I'll call you later to talk about your 
summer program."  After giving her a smile, Mac turned the 
Admiral with a nod.  "Admiral, I'll see you later."  Mac 
headed back into the building, leaving the Admiral and 
Meredith standing outside chatting.

Smiling to herself, she thought things couldn't have gone 
better.  After their meeting at the elevator and the 
Admiral's apology, they had all gone to lunch together.  
Her plan had worked perfectly.  She almost laughed out loud 
as she recalled Harm and Sturgis and their pathetic 
attempts at matchmaking.  Men are such idiots!

Pushing the elevator button, her smile faded a bit as she 
thought of Harm flirting at the bar with the woman Sturgis 
and Bobbi invited for the Admiral.  Some things never 
change.  

Deciding to think positively, she told herself, 'Oh well.  
It's not like he made a date with her or anything.  And 
really, Harm was just responding to the blonde. (She 
consciously chose not to use the word bimbo, but it was 
very difficult.) who was very flirtatious with him  It's 
not like he chased after her or anything.'  

Unfortunately, her less positive side also added a thought 
as she stepped into the elevator.  'Yeah, well, he never 
seems to have to chase after woman.  They chase after him.  
He just doesn't put up much of a fight.  Except with you.'

'Stop it!'  Scolding herself sternly, she pushed away this 
line of thinking.  It only caused her to be upset, and she 
was tired of it.  She had no claim on Harm, and he was 
perfectly free to flirt and date anyone he wanted.  

'It's your own fault.  He did come to you on the 
Guadalcanal.'  Her traitorous mind continued, ignoring her 
previous order.

'Yes, he did.  But he still wasn't sure enough; he didn't 
want me badly enough to really try.  And he gave up so 
fast.'

Stifling the argument in her mind, she exited the elevator 
as the doors opened on her floor and continued on to her 
office.

Mac's Office
1830 Local

Mac leaned back in her chair and let go a big sigh of 
relief.  Finally done with paperwork!  Except for a few 
moments of teasing Harm and Sturgis about her success as a 
matchmaker, the afternoon had been spent bent over desk 
trying to catch up with the tons of paperwork her job 
seemed to produce.  She could head for home with a clear 
conscience.  

Glancing around the bullpen she noticed that almost 
everyone was gone.  Both Harm's and Sturgis' offices were 
dark, and Bud and Harriet were nowhere to be seen.
As usual, the thought of cooking left her uninspired, as 
did the thought of fighting the lines at the grocery store.  
Finally deciding to try that new Italian place that Sturgis 
had recommended, she ordered a pizza for pick up.  
Retrieving her purse and cover, she exited her office to 
get her pizza and head for home.  The thought of doing 
nothing except giving Jingo a walk appealed to her, and she 
looked forward to a relaxing evening.


Mario's
1850 Local

"That'll be $15.95" The young girl at the cash register 
gave her a smile.

Returning the smile, Mac handed the money for her pizza to 
her.  "Thank you.  Where do I pick it up?"

Gesturing to a window at the end of the bar, the girl 
answered, "Right over there.  It should be up in a few 
minutes."

Mac's eyes followed the girl's pointing finger when her 
heart suddenly stopped beating.  At a table near the bar, 
Sturgis, Bobbi, Harm, and the blonde (I will not say bimbo) 
were seated, on an obvious double date.  As she turned to 
leave before they spotted her, Bobbi looked up and waved at 
her.

Forcing another smile to her face, Mac walked over to the 
table, determined to not let any feeling of hurt show.  "Hi 
Bobbi, it's nice to see you again."  Turning to the blonde 
bimbo (damn it, I can't remember her name), she greeted 
her.  "Nice to see you again too, Cathy isn't it?"

The blonde (OK, maybe she's not a bimbo) answered her 
nicely.  "Caroline actually.  It's a pleasure."

"Harm...Sturgis.  Can't seem to get away from you guys."  
She kept her tone level and pleasant.

Sturgis and Harm couldn't seem to get a word out.  
Identical looks of alarm frozen on their faces.

Not seeming to notice the two men's panic, Bobbi continued, 
"Won't you join us?"  Mac noticed the look Caroline gave 
Bobbi at that invitation, but continued to smile as 
pleasantly as best she could.

"Mackenzie."  A large pizza box appeared on the bar as her 
name was called.

'Thank God.'  Mac thought to herself.  "Sorry, that's my 
pizza and I already have plans for the evening, but thank 
you just the same.  Maybe another time."  

As she turned, she didn't miss the look of relief that came 
over the blonde bimbo's (I can call her a bimbo if I want 
to) face.

After picking up her pizza she gave them another smile and 
wave before she left.  Caroline and Bobbi returned the wave 
naturally.  Harm and Sturgis managed half-hearted waves as 
well.

Sarah Mackenzie's Apartment
2035 Local

Mac sat on the couch, Jingo beside her with his head on her 
lap and the untouched pizza on the coffee table in front of 
her.  She had not cried, but she definitely kept thinking 
about it.

Most of the evening had been spent torturing herself with 
might have beens, should have beens, and what is wrong with 
me?  What if Renee hadn't needed Harm that night?  What if 
she could have pulled herself together to talk to Harm on 
the Guadalcanal, or even after she got home?  What if she 
had really pushed him to let go with her?  She should have 
done more; she should have been more...what?  What could 
she have done?   

She could have insisted she needed him that night when 
Renee's father died.  No, she couldn't have.

She could have continued to talk to him on the Guadalcanal.  
But he was so nervous, so unsure of himself and his 
feelings.  She was tired of having to push for every gain 
with him.

She could have had "the talk" when she returned to JAG.  
But every time she talked to him, he was so uncomfortable, 
she felt like she was forcing him.  And she had to have 
SOME pride, damn it.  It didn't have to be her declaring 
her love first.  He shot her down in Australia; it was up 
to him.

She felt a sharp spurt of anger.  What was it about her 
that terrified him?  He never shied away from any woman he 
wanted, but when it came to her, there was always something 
holding him back.

Well to hell with it.  I am done with mooning over Harmon 
Rabb.  He's my best friend, but that's ALL he is and that's 
ALL he's ever going to be.  I don't have to have a man in 
my life to be happy.  I don't need Harm, Mic, or any other 
man to be happy.

'Liar' the little voice inside her head whispered.  "I 
know," she whispered back to it.  "I do need Harm in my 
life to be happy.  But I'll just have to accept it and move 
on.  Alone."

The decision made, albeit not happily, she went to bed.



JAG Headquarters
Next Day
0930 Local

Sturgis approached Mac's office apprehensively.  She had 
seemed fine this morning, but he kept remembering her 
admission of love for Harm.  She couldn't be fine; it had 
to be an act.  Plus, he didn't want her to think that he 
had set Harm up with Caroline.  He liked Mac, and in the 
course of working with her had come to respect her as well. 

Of course, it had looked bad.  If he was in her place, he 
knew what assumptions he would make.  But the truth was 
that he and Harm had stopped in Mario's for a drink and run 
into Bobbi and Caroline.  Naturally, they all sat together.  
And there really was no easy way out when Caroline invited 
them all to have dinner with her.

Steeling himself to face her, he knocked on her door.

"Enter."

"Mac, you got a minute?"

She gave him an amused glance and gestured for him to have 
a seat.  "Of course Sturgis.  What can I do for you?"

Entering her office and sitting down, he struggled with 
what to say.

"Sturgis?"

She seemed so calm and friendly that he almost decided that 
he was on a fool's errand until he looked closely at her 
eyes.  In spite of smile, her eyes held a sadness he had 
not noticed before.

"I wanted to explain about last night.  It's not what you 
think."

With a sigh she rose from her chair and went to the door, 
closing it.  She didn't say anything at first.

Seating herself back at her desk she looked him straight in 
the eye.  "Sturgis, I know I told you something I shouldn't 
have and that it could put you in an embarrassing position.  
Please don't worry about it."

"Mac, honestly, it's not what you think.  Harm and I just 
stopped in for a drink.  We ran into Caroline and Bobbi, it 
wasn't a planned dinner date."

A weary expression came over her face.  "It never is 
Sturgis.  Woman like Harm, and they chase him.  You think 
I've never noticed it before?"

This was not going the way he had wanted it too.   "Mac, he 
didn't ask her out, we just happened to run into them."

"OK.  I believe you."  She tried to shut this conversation 
down.  It was just too hard.  "Is there anything else?"

Trying to get her to open up, he persevered.  "It was 
totally innocent.  We just happened to run into them."

Giving him an exasperated look, she answered him more 
sharply than she meant to.  "Look Sturgis.  I'm not stupid.  
Let me lay out the evening for you, and you tell me if I'm 
right.  You and Harm ran into Bobbi and Caroline, totally 
innocently.  You all decided to have dinner together, 
totally innocently.  Harm and Caroline got to know one 
another, totally innocently.  And in a totally innocent 
way, Caroline suggested that you should all do this again 
some time.  You, Harm, and Bobby, totally innocently, 
agreed, because it was fun in a totally innocent way.  
Then, Harm being the totally innocent gentlemen he is, 
followed Caroline home because Bobbi had ridden with her 
and you and Bobbi wanted to be together."

A little stunned at her accurate assessment of the evening, 
he managed a short nod when she paused.

Her tone softened somewhat.  "I'm sorry for the sarcasm 
Sturgis, but this is a painful subject for me.  I'll just 
say that I've seen Harm in action before, and I pretty much 
know what's coming.  I'll deal with it.  I'm a big girl, 
I'm not going to fall apart and you don't need to worry 
that I'll blame you.  You're my friend, but I really don't 
want to talk about this anymore."

"The only thing you left out is that Harm was very upset 
when you saw him with her.  I know him too, Mac.  He's not 
after this woman."  He wanted to add that it was obvious 
Harm cared for Mac, but he didn't want to get in any deeper 
than he already was.

Looking down at her desk, she softly said, "He may not be 
Sturgis.  But she is after him, and he never puts up much 
of a fight.  He never does, except with me."

"Mac..."

Cutting him off, she turned the chair to face the window as 
she replied.  "I'm sorry Sturgis.  I can't talk about this 
anymore.  Please leave me with some dignity."

Feeling that she was wrong in her assessment of Harm, he 
was about to try again when the phone rang, interrupting 
him.

Pivoting in her chair, she answered the phone before 
Sturgis could speak.

"Mackenzie."

A pause.

"Yes, hold on a moment, would you please?"  She looked back 
up at him while placing a hand over the receiver.  "Can we 
drop this now?  I have work to do."

"All right Mac.  But I think you're wrong."

She rolled her eyes.  "Can we just agree to disagree?  
Please?"

Giving up for the moment, he nodded and rose to leave.  

She smiled at Sturgis as she spoke into the phone.  "Hi 
John.  I haven't heard from you in ages.  How are you?"

He didn't hear the rest of the conversation as he closed 
the door behind him.

As he was returning to his office he ran into a nervous 
Harm.

"Hey Sturgis.  Have you talked to Mac this morning?"

"Yeah, why?"  He didn't want to give anything away; it 
wasn't fair to Mac.

"Oh, no reason."  Harm shifted on his feet and seemed to 
have trouble looking him in the eye.  "Was she OK?"

"As far as I know.  Any reason she wouldn't be?"

Harm shot him an anxious smile.  "Of course not.  Just 
wondering."  His gaze shifted off to Mac's office where he 
could see her smiling as she talked on the phone.

"Uh, I'll catch you later Buddy.  I gotta talk to Mac for a 
minute."

'Good luck Buddy.'  Sturgis thought as he watched Harm 
knock on Mac's door before entering.

Harm sat nervously in Mac's office trying to figure out 
where to begin.  Technically he didn't have to explain 
himself to her about last night, but he didn't want her to 
have the wrong idea.  There had been too much of that in 
their lives.

As she waited for him to begin, Mac could almost smile at 
his actions.  Sometimes he could be such a big teenager.  
Trying to give him a break (she didn't know why), she asked 
him, "So Harm, what brings you in here?"

Leaning forward and placing his elbows on his knees, he 
began.  "Well, I...uh...well...I wanted to explain about 
last night."

Repressing the urge to roll her eyes and sigh, Mac asked 
him, "What about last night?"

"Uh...well...I...wasn't out on a date."  Inwardly Harm 
cursed himself, knowing he was screwing this up, but he 
couldn't seem to help himself.

Trying to help him relax, Mac gave him a warm smile.  He 
was too nervous to realize it didn't reach her eyes.  
"Harm, it's OK."

"It is?"  He had been prepared for anger, even tears, but 
not for calm acceptance.

"Why wouldn't it be?"  Mac actually was proud of her quiet 
tone.  She would be damned before she would let him know he 
hurt her.  She didn't need his pity or his explanation of 
the obvious.

"Well...I thought you might be upset."  In fact, he was so 
sure of it he had been scared to talk to her.

Leaning back in her chair, she looked up at the ceiling as 
she considered her next question.  "Harm, are we friends?"

Surprised at the question, he sat up straight as he 
answered the only way he could.  "Of course."

Meeting his eyes with as steady a gaze as she could, she 
continued.  "As your friend, let me give you some advice.  
When you don't have a girlfriend or significant other, you 
can actually go out on a date, talk to other women, and 
basically do whatever you want.  You don't have to clear 
your actions with me."  Mac couldn't believe that she was 
actually saying these words to him, but the facts were 
clear.  They had no understanding, no commitment.  And it 
was pretty obvious there wasn't going to be one.

"But I don't want any misunderstandings between us Mac."  
She had totally confused him.  Everything she was saying 
was true, at least on the surface, but he thought they had 
been working towards something more.

Deciding to let him know how well she understood him, she 
fired off a few shots.  "Harm, did you have dinner with 
Caroline last night?"

"Well, yeah, but it really wasn't like a date."  He kept 
shifting in his seat and having trouble meeting her eyes.

"Did you see her home?"  She didn't mean to assume a 
prosecutorial tone with him, but he was leaving her with no 
choice.

"Uh...yes.  But I had too, it was late."  Oh god, that 
didn't sound good at all, but he could detect no change of 
expression in her face.

"Did you make plans to see her again?"

Honesty compelled him admit that he had agreed to go out 
with Caroline again, she had backed him into a corner about 
it.  He found it very difficult to be rude to beautiful 
women.  "Yes."

Her heart sank at that single word.

"Then I would say that even if last night wasn't a date in 
your eyes, the next one will be, right?"

Shit, this was not going well at all.  She was treating him 
like a witness and forcing testimony her way.  

"Mac, there are mitigating circumstances.  Sometimes things 
appear one way, but are really another."

"Really?  Why don't you explain how things are then."  A 
faint hope clutched at her heart.  Maybe this was the time 
he would really tell her how he felt and end all this 
dancing around.

There was a short silence as he struggled to find the 
words.

Finally she broke the quiet with a sigh.  "Harm, I'm not 
mad at you.  You are and always will be my friend.   It 
really is OK."  

Once again, his silence had damned him in her eyes.  She 
had given him the chance to explain, and as usual he had 
frozen up.

Trying to leave thing on a positive note, she informed him 
briskly, "So everything is fine.  I understand, and I'm not 
mad.  Now, I have an appointment coming in at 1100 hours, 
which is in 12 minutes.  I need a little time to prepare 
for it.   I will talk to you later, OK?"  With that she 
gave him a big smile, all the while just wanting to be 
alone to scream for few minutes.

Unsatisfied with the conversation, but unable to change the 
way things were, he rose as he answered her.  "Mac, you are 
my friend, but you are more than that.  You should know 
that by now."

"I do Harm.  I feel the same way."  Praying he would just 
leave before she broke down in front of him, she shooed him 
out of her office.  "Now go on.  I have work to do."  She 
softened her words with another smile.

Mac's office
45 minutes later

It was great to see John Farrow again and it was wonderful 
to see him happy.  He was one of the few men she had been 
involved with that had never hurt her.  In point of fact, 
it was she that had hurt him, more than once.  In the 
course of her duties, she had had to prosecute him, and 
then later he had been charged with the murder of her 
estranged husband along with her.

As much as she tried to deny it to herself, Harm's comment 
that day to Sturgis had hit home in a big way.  Men who had 
been involved with her either were dead or wished they 
were.  She had always had a special place in her heart for 
John, and a large load of guilt as well.

When he called her and asked to see her earlier this 
morning she had been apprehensive, but those fears had been 
completely unfounded.  He need her help with some legal 
matters regarding his will and some other things.  He was 
getting married.

Looking across her desk at the man who had made such a 
difference in her life, she was pleased to see the shine of 
happiness in his eyes.   He was dressed in civilian clothes 
having retired from the marines after their trial for 
murder.

The legal part of their conversation was finished, so she 
leaned back in her chair and asked,  "So John, when do I 
get to meet the lucky lady?"

A grin crossed his face as he answered.  "Soon Mac.  She's 
out of town right now, but I'll call you.  I'd love for you 
to meet her.  She's really great."

She stood and went around the corner of her desk as he rose 
to leave.  Taking his hands in her, she looked into his 
eyes.  "Congratulations John.  I've always wanted you to be 
happy."

A little embarrassed, he looked down at their joined hands.  
"I've always wanted the same for you Mac."

Emotion overcame her for a moment, then she reached her 
arms up and hugged him.  He responded by hugging her close 
in return.  Kissing his cheek, she spoke quietly to him.  
"Be happy John.  I wish you all the best."

Pulling back a little, he brushed a stray tear off her 
cheek.  "Hey, you're supposed to be happy here.  Crying 
isn't allowed."

Laughing as they separated, she wiped the other tears that 
had welled up unexpectedly.  "I guess I'm a sucker for 
happy endings.  Take care John, and I'll forward all the 
paperwork to you next week.  And I expect to hear from you, 
I really do want to meet her."

"I'll call you Mac.  See you soon."

"Bye John."

He left the door open as he exited.

Same time
Harm's Office

After his talk with Mac, Harm sat in his office brooding.  
Irritation shot through him as he thought about their 
conversation.  Damn it, nothing had gone as he had meant it 
to.  She kept pointing out things to him, like he didn't 
know what was going on.  He knew he didn't owe her an 
explanation, he just wanted her to know he wasn't 
interested in that woman.

He knew he had screwed up with her, and not just today.  
Nothing ever seemed to go right, and this was just another 
mistake in a long series of mistakes.

Wait, who was that in her office?  It was John Farrow.

Unable to keep his eyes off them, he watched through the 
glass wall of his office, jealousy coursing through him.  
Why was he here?

Stunned, he watched as she stood and hugged the son of a 
bitch.  And then she KISSED him!  What the HELL did she 
think she was doing!

His temper started to boil as he watched them say a tender 
goodbye, Farrow's hand brushing at her cheek.  He heard 
Farrow's last statement to her.  "I'll call you Mac.  See 
you soon."

Rage overtook his good sense when he heard that.  What was 
this, payback?  He couldn't believe she would stoop to 
playing this game again.  He would have thought she learned 
her lesson with Bugme.

Leaving his office, he strode purposefully toward hers, 
fully intending to give her a piece of his mind.

***

Mac took a sip of her coffee as she sat back down at her 
desk.  Reflecting back on John's happy announcement, she 
smiled to herself.  It was a great relief to her conscience 
to know that he finally was getting something good out of 
life.  She really did wish him all the best.

Harm's sarcastic voice cut into her thoughts, startling her 
into almost spilling her coffee.  "What's with the 
satisfied smirk, Counselor?"

Looking up in surprise, she saw that he was standing in the 
doorway of her office with his arms folded against his 
chest, an angry expression on his face.  Astonished at his 
attitude, she tried to diffuse the situation by smiling at 
him.  "Is something wrong Harm?"  As far as she knew, she 
had done nothing that would warrant his irate tone.

"I don't know Mac, you tell me."  Walking into the office, 
her apparent attempt to goad him with bogus innocence made 
him forget to shut the door as he stalked angrily to her 
desk. 

Still taken aback by his demeanor, she couldn't imagine why 
he was acting this way, but she knew she couldn't allow it 
to continue.  The smile dropped from her face as her tone 
became noticeably colder.  "I don't know what you're 
problem is Harm, but I will not tolerate you talking to me 
like that."

Further enraged by her lack of embarrassment or remorse, 
his volume heightened considerably.  "Well, if you don't 
know what my problem is Mac, let me just tell you.  I have 
a problem with you carrying on your affairs here in the 
office.  You did it with Brumby, which apparently taught 
you nothing, and now you are actually bringing them into 
the office to make sure I know about it."

Already in a high temper, Harm failed to notice that his 
tirade had stopped noise and activity in the bullpen and 
everyone was witnessing their argument.  His inflammatory 
statement so enraged Mac that she also failed to notice.  
The entire office had been aware of a general tension 
between the two officers, but in the last few weeks that 
tension had seemed to dissipate.   Until now.

Stunned by his attack, her first reaction was a drop jawed 
gape of incredulity.  Then her own high-voltage temper 
kicked in.  Walking around her desk to argue with him face 
to face, she unconsciously raised her voice to match his.  
"First of all, what I do, whom I do it with, and where I do 
it is no business of yours.  Secondly, I don't require your 
permission or approval for anything I decide to do, and 
thirdly, you are sadly mistaken if you think I am involved 
with John.  He is..."

He cut her off, completely furious and out of control by 
now.  "He's what Mac?  Just a friend?  Like Brumby was just 
a friend?  You forget I know your history with Farrow, and 
it's not real pretty, is it?    You present the 'oh so 
perfect' marine image so well Mac, but I know the real you.  
You just can't stay away from men, can you?"

Totally incensed by his cruel remarks, she lost it 
completely.  Her arm went back to give him the slap he so 
richly deserved.  "Why you..."

"YOU TWO! IN MY OFFICE! NOW!"  The Admiral's command voice 
interrupted her swing and their argument.

Mac dropped her hand, amazed to find she was actually going 
to slap Harm, no matter what the provocation.  Both 
officers turned to the Admiral automatically to acknowledge 
his order, their anger still apparent in their faces.

"MOVE IT PEOPLE!"  The Admiral turned on his heel to look 
out over the bullpen.  Immediately everyone began to work 
again, not wanting to anger him further and face his wrath.  
He headed towards his office.  Harm and Mac fell in behind 
him, not looking at each other or anyone else.

The Admiral closed the door to his office as they came to 
attention in front of his desk.  There was a long silence 
as AJ observed his two officers.  Harm had vented some of 
his anger and was managing to appear calm, although a 
telltale flush still remained on his face.  Mac, on the 
other hand, was still in the throes of anger and was having 
a difficult time controlling her breathing.

Slowly AJ walked around to stand at his desk and lean 
across it to face them.  In a menacingly quiet voice he 
began.  "Never, in my entire career, have I seen such a 
complete lack of military decorum and such a display of 
childish temper from two senior officers.  Now, I don't 
know what caused this, but I damn sure want an 
explanation."

There was another silence as neither Harm nor Mac 
volunteered to explain.

AJ knew that this type of situation had been brewing for a 
long time.  Contrary to what a lot of people might think, 
he was not blind to the feelings between these two.  In 
fact, he had been expecting a blow-up for quite some time, 
just not in such an inappropriate place as the office.  He 
made the decision to talk to them separately.

"All right, we'll try this a different way.  Rabb, wait 
outside my office.  I will be calling you back in after I 
finish with the Colonel.  I expect you to be there when I 
finish, no matter how long it takes.

"Aye Sir."  Harm turned on his heel and exited the office.

AJ looked at Mac, still standing at attention.  He could 
see that she was struggling for control, tears in her eyes 
that she refused to let fall.  "At ease Mac.  Sit down."

Still tense, Mac sank into the chair apprehensively, not 
knowing what to expect from him.  There was no excuse she 
could offer that would justify the scene that had just 
taken place in her office, and she dreaded discussing it.

"OK Mac.  Let's have it.  What happened?"  His soft voice 
broke down the barriers more effectively than any good 
chewing out would have done.  Her hands began to tremble 
and she clenched them tightly together, momentarily unable 
to speak.

Sighing, the Admiral handed her his handkerchief as the 
tears finally overflowed.  Embarrassed, she took it from 
him and wiped her eyes as she managed to choke out, "Thank 
you Sir."

He waited as she composed herself before asking again.  
"What happened?"

Trying to think of a way out, she finally gave up.  She was 
too rattled to give him anything but the truth.  "I'm not 
completely sure Sir.  Apparently Commander Rabb didn't like 
the fact that John Farrow was here.  He thought my behavior 
with John was inappropriate and objected to it.  I'm afraid 
that I lost my temper Sir, and just forgot about where we 
were.  It was an inexcusable breach of protocol and decorum 
Sir, and I apologize.  There is no excuse for my behavior."

AJ noticed that in spite of her considerable anger towards 
Harm, she never attempted to put the blame on him.  Knowing 
Harm as well as he did, he was sure Harm would take the 
same attitude and try to accept the blame as well.

AJ had also heard Harm's last remarks to her, and was 
fairly sure that jealousy had caused Harm to lose his 
temper completely.  The only question he had was if Mac had 
provoked Harm in any way.  He doubted it.  He noticed that 
Mac never backed away from a fight, but she rarely started 
one.  Rabb was by far the more hotheaded of the two 
officers.

"So, was he right?  Was your behavior inappropriate?  Or 
did you provoke Rabb in any way?"  AJ did know she had a 
history with Farrow, and she might have decided to see him 
again.  

She flushed with shame that he even felt he had to ask 
those questions.  "No Sir, I did not provoke him.  And John 
was here with some legal questions and told me he was 
getting married.  As he was leaving I gave him a 
congratulatory hug, Sir.  That's all.  There was NOTHING 
inappropriate going on."

In an instant AJ knew exactly what had happened.  Rabb had 
been bitten hard by the green-eyed monster and totally lost 
his temper and his good sense.  He'd seen similar behavior 
from Rabb when Dalton Lowne and Mic Brumby were in the 
picture, but never to this extent.  Resisting the urge to 
laugh out loud at his idiot male officer, he regarded the 
solemn marine in front of him.

Obviously still upset, although calmer than before, the 
hurt in her eyes stilled his laughter.  Aware of her 
background, he knew that she presented an image of strength 
and fortitude, and rightly so.  He also knew that she was 
particularly vulnerable, especially when Rabb was involved.  
Sighing deeply, he rubbed his eyes as he considered what to 
do.

"Colonel, I find this type of behavior unacceptable, both 
from you and Commander Rabb.  You are two senior officers 
who should know better and be able to control your tempers 
no matter what the provocation.  You are relieved of duty 
for the rest of the day.  Be in my office at 0900 sharp 
tomorrow morning.  Dismissed."

His abrupt change from friend to commanding officer did not 
startle her.  She simply nodded and accepted his 
instruction with "Yes Sir."

As she rose to leave, he added one caveat.  "Mac, try to 
take it easy."  She answered with a brief smile before she 
exited the office.

Harm was standing outside the Admiral's door, waiting for 
his turn.  As she passed him, he called softly to her.  
"Mac?  I'm sorry."  When she turned her eyes on him, his 
own guilt threatened to swallow him at the hurt and anger 
he saw there.

She didn't answer him.  She just turned and continued on 
her way.

Harm had spent the time waiting thinking over his actions 
of the last 24 hours.  He was deeply ashamed of himself, 
and terrified that this last argument would be the end of 
their friendship, let alone the relationship he truly 
wanted to have with her.

He realized that he had let jealousy overpower him.  
Knowing that he had mishandled the entire "Caroline 
incident" had left him feeling confused and irritated.  
Seeing Mac with Farrow had ignited an anger in him he did 
not know he was capable of.   He would be lucky if she ever 
spoke to him again.

Knocking on the Admiral's door, he opened it and came to 
attention in front of the Admiral after the Admiral called 
"Enter."

This was not something he was looking forward to.  He had 
definitely made a huge mistake in confronting Mac in the 
manner he did, but it was made ten times worse by the fact 
he had done it in the office.  Try as he might, he could 
not come up with any logical excuse to appease the Admiral.  
This was going to be bad.

The Admiral surprised him by saying "At ease" and gesturing 
for him to sit down.  Taking a seat warily, he waited for 
the Admiral to begin.

"Harm," AJ began.  "You know you have totally screwed up, 
right?  Surely you're not that clueless?"

Expecting to be reamed out for unprofessional behavior, 
Harm was unsure how to respond to this.  
"Uh...Yes Sir?"

AJ rolled his eyes and let go a deep sigh of exasperation.

"Harm, in spite of the fact that Mac did not suggest that 
your behavior was disgusting, I was able to read between 
the lines and figure out what really happened."

Harm felt the blush start all the way at his toes.  He 
couldn't think of a single thing to say.

"Now, I'm going to let you in on just how badly you screwed 
up, because you probably don't realize all the crap you 
just let yourself in for with her.  Did you know that 
Colonel Farrow is getting married, and she gave him a 
congratulatory hug?"

Harm's stomach started to churn as he realized just how big 
of an ass he had been.  Wordlessly, he shook his head.

AJ let that sink in before he continued.  "That is what 
started all this, isn't it?"

With a groan, Harm slumped forward and put his head in his 
hands.  "No Sir, it's even worse than that."

"How could it be worse?"

Pulling himself back up, Harm met his superior officer's 
gaze shamefacedly.  "Last night Sturgis and I went out for 
a drink.  We ran into Bobbi and Caroline, the woman from 
the other night, and we decided to have dinner together."

AJ knew what was coming, but asked anyway.  "And?"

"Mac saw us together."

AJ winced at that.  "And she was mad about that before this 
happened?"

"No Sir.  In fact she went out of her way to assure me that 
we were still friends, and that she was NOT mad."  Harm 
paused, unsure how far he should go with his confession, 
then decided to hell with it.  "I think she has given up on 
me Sir."

AJ looked at his officer, again stopping to consider how to 
handle this.  As the CO, he should be chewing out both 
officers and taking disciplinary action.  But he knew them 
both too well.  He knew that they had struggled with their 
relationship for years.  And he knew that if ever two 
people belonged together, it was these two people.  Plus, 
he admitted to himself, he was an old softy.

"Have you given up Harm?  Do you love her?"

Harm struggled with the emotions that roiled up at that 
question.  Finally he opened up and said it out loud for 
the first time.  "Yes, I love her."  Again he fell forward, 
his head in his hands.  "But I've screwed this up for so 
long, and now so badly, that I think I've blown it for 
good."

AJ rubbed the bridge of his nose as he regarded the 
distraught man in front of him.  He cursed himself for 
opening up this can of worms, knowing that somehow he was 
going to have to help.

He sharpened his voice.  "Commander, listen up."  Harm's 
head snapped back up, and AJ could see him mentally pulling 
himself together at last.  "You are relieved of duty for 
the rest of the day.  Go home, keep yourself busy.  Do not, 
under any circumstances, try to contact or talk to Mac 
tonight.  She needs some time to cool down."

At Harm's immediate protest AJ cut him off.  "I mean it 
Harm.  Listen to me.  I'll make sure that someone checks on 
her.  Be in my office at 0930 sharp.  And I mean 0930, not 
one minute later, not one minute before.  Can you handle 
that?"

"Yes Sir."

"Good.  Dismissed."

Harm rose to leave.  As he reached the door, AJ gave him 
one last order.  "And for the love of God Harm, don't get 
drunk tonight and don't go out on a date.  That is an 
order.  You will need all your faculties alert and ready to 
go very soon."

"Yes Sir."

'Shit.  The things I get myself into' thought AJ as he 
reached for the intercom.  "Tiner, get me Lt. Sims ASAP."  
Another thought hit him, an evil one.  Reaching back over 
to the intercom, he barked out "Cancel that order Tiner.  
Get me Commander Turner."

AJ smiled as he thought of a little payback for Sturgis' 
interference in his life.  It was time for "Dolly" to do 
some work.

Part 4

JAG Headquarters
Same Day
1430

Sensing uneasiness in the air, Sturgis looked around s he 
entered the bullpen. Shortly after his talk with Mac, he 
had gone out to chase down a witness in one of his cases. 
Everyone was working, but there was
definitely something wrong.

Hoping to collect a little information, he looked around 
for Harm or Mac; they were nowhere to be seen.  He spotted 
Bud in his office and headed over to see what was going on. 
Harriet was in there, and they
seemed to be having an intense conversation.

His knock at the door seemed to startle them; they both 
jumped and looked at him in guilty fashion. He 
smiled to reassure them; privately wondering what they 
could have been talking about that would cause that 
reaction. "Hey Lieutenants, what's going on around here? 
Everything seems a little out of kilter for
some reason."

Bud and Harriet exchanged a worried look before answering; 
confirming his suspicions that something 
was going on.

"Excuse me Sir. I need to get back to my work. I'm sure 
Lieutenant Roberts will be glad to give you any
information you require." Harriet seemed nervous as she 
spoke, and Bud gave her an exasperated look as she escaped, 
leaving him holding the bag.

"Uh...What can I do for you Sir?" Bud also appeared 
anxious.

"Well for starters, where are Commander Rabb and Colonel 
Mackenzie? I was hoping to speak to them this
afternoon about a case." Sturgis decided to drop his 
original line of inquiry, he didn't want to make Bud
uncomfortable.

For some reason, this question seemed to throw Bud for a 
loop. He started stammering and looking around the office 
as if seeking escape. "Well Sir...uh...well...they 
are...they have both left for the day." Bud really didn't 
want to seem like he was gossiping or telling tales, and 
the whole situation was very difficult to explain to 
someone who hadn't been there from the beginning.

A suspicion was growing in Sturgis' mind, and he hoped he 
was wrong for his friend's sake. "Relax Bud.  Just tell me 
what's going on."

"They had a fight Sir." The story burst out of Bud as if he 
was trying to get it over with quickly. "A bad
one. The Admiral heard them and sent them home for the 
day."

Oh no. He was afraid something like this would happen. 
Knowing Harm as well as he did, he figured
Harm must have done something pretty stupid for Mac to 
fight with him badly enough in the office for the
Admiral to intervene. "Can you tell me what it was about?"

Tiner knocked at the door before Bud could answer.  
"Commander, the Admiral has been asking for you. He wants 
to see you as soon as possible."

"OK Tiner, I'm on my way. Thank you." God, he hoped the 
Admiral didn't want to talk to him about Mac and Harm, but 
seeing as how the Admiral took an interest in his officer's 
personal lives, it was entirely
possible. Sturgis comforted himself with the knowledge that 
he wasn't even here during the argument
and couldn't possibly have pertinent information.

Giving Bud a nod and a thank you, he followed Tiner back to 
the Admiral's office. He noticed Bud looked
visibly relieved that he left. The argument must have been 
really bad.

Sturgis knocked on the Admiral's door and entered as he 
received the familiar gruff "Enter."

Before he could come to attention and report in the Admiral 
waved him into a chair.

"Commander, I understand you were out for most of the day. 
Is this true?" The Admiral had that cat and the canary look 
in his eye.

Wary of what was coming, Sturgis answered carefully.  "Yes 
Sir."

"Then you don't know what happened between Harm and Mac 
earlier?" 

Relieved that the Admiral only wanted information he didn't 
have, Sturgis replied easily, "Not completely
Sir. I have only heard that there was some kind of argument 
between them, and you sent them home."

Nodding as if in agreement, the Admiral continued.  "That's 
true, but there is a great deal more to it
than that. However, before I go into any details, I need to 
know one thing. Are you still up to
fulfilling your Dolly Levi roll?"

Embarrassed, and very apprehensive, he was not sure how to 
answer that. "I'm not sure what you mean Sir."

The Admiral gave him a big grin. "I mean that Dolly was a 
matchmaker, and I need someone who likes to
matchmake."

The words were out before he could stop himself. "I thought 
you didn't want your office to look like a
production of 'Hello Dolly'." Inwardly he flinched, hoping 
he hadn't offended the Admiral.

The Admiral's smile faded as he sat back with a sigh.  
Rising from his chair, he walked around his desk to
lean on it in front of Sturgis. "I did say that Sturgis." 

Sturgis noted the change to his first name.

AJ continued on. "But this is Harm and Mac were talking 
about. Two of the finest people I know, and
also two people that I know were meant to be together."

Sturgis didn't know why, but he wanted to give AJ a 
difficult time. "Isn't it a little unusual for a CO
to be matchmaking two of his officers?"

AJ crossed his arms as he looked up at the ceiling, 
thinking about his answer. "Yes it is, I know that. 
But I've known these two for several years. I was there 
when they met. I've watched them each go
through significant others, hell I was going to give Mac 
away at her wedding to Brumby. 

I've never seen two people who will fight for each other 
and be there for each other like those two. 
Defend each other, cover for each other, and follow each 
other to the end of the earth. And for some
strange reason they never can seem to face their feelings 
for each other. Don't tell me you haven't
noticed. You're not that unobservant."

Sturgis gave in. "Yes Sir. I've noticed, but I was hesitant 
to interfere in something I didn't have full
knowledge of."

"Hmmmm. Didn't stop you from interfering in MY life."  The 
Admiral's tone was sour.

"Yes Sir. I'm sorry about that."

"Never mind. The point is, Harm has really put his foot in 
it this time. He's not going to be able to
get out of this without some help. That is one really 
pissed off marine."

"What happened Sir?"

"Well, you know that Mac knew about Harm's date last 
night?"

"It wasn't really a date Sir. We just..."

"I know...I know. Harm explained the whole thing.  
Unfortunately, he couldn't explain it to Mac very
well. Apparently he left her thinking he went on a date."

"Sir, with all due respect, he can go on a date if he wants 
to. Mac really has no right to start a fight
with him about that." Sturgis couldn't believe a huge fight 
would come out of that misunderstanding.

The Admiral rolled his eyes. "I know that, and she didn't. 
If anything, she told him to go right on and
do whatever he wanted, they were friends."

"So why the fight then Sir?"

"A former friend of Mac's, someone she was involved with 
several years ago came by the office to see her
about some legal matters and inform her he was getting 
married. She gave him a congratulatory hug as he was 
leaving."

There was a sinking feeling in his stomach. "Oh no.  Tell 
me Harm didn't..."

"He did. He lost his temper, and in full view of the office 
basically told her she was playing games with
him and wouldn't leave men alone. That's the polite 
version. Fortunately, I interrupted them before she
slapped him or did anything worse to him. I'm glad I don't 
have to bring charges about striking a fellow
officer."

Sturgis closed his eyes and shook his head for a moment, 
unbelieving. He had witnessed Harm screw up
with Mac before, but this was just preposterous. What could 
the man have been thinking? Well, obviously he wasn't 
thinking.

Finally he looked at the Admiral. "What do you want me to 
do?"

"I want you to go check on Mac tonight at home, and see if 
you can get her to open up."

"But Sir, I hardly know her well enough..."

"I know, I know. But it's you or Lieutenant Sims; and 
Lieutenant Sims is her junior officer. Mac won't open up to 
her, even though they're very good friends.  You're the 
only other one I can think of."

"What about yourself Sir?" Sturgis really didn't want to do 
this. He liked Mac very much, and considered
her a friend, but this was really more than he wanted to 
get into.

"I can't, I'm her CO. Let's face it, I'm not supposed to be 
doing this at all, and she is not going to be
able to open up to me either. You're elected Sturgis."

There was a pause as Sturgis considered the Admiral's 
proposal.

"Do you have any idea what I should expect?"

"I would say that she will insist she is fine and is 
handling everything. That is her style." AJ decided
to be a little more forthcoming with him. "You should know 
that her Father was an abusive alcoholic, and her Mother 
abandoned them when Mac was fifteen. Mac has learned some 
hard lessons, and the biggest one is handle everything 
yourself and keep it inside. She never expects help, and 
never asks for it. The only
one that could get past that was Harm."

Sturgis had not known her background, and his respect for 
her went up a few more notches when he realized just how 
much she had overcome to become the successful person she 
was today. "All right, I'm in.   I'll go see her, but I 
don't' know how much good it will do."

"Just do your best Sturgis, I'm sure that will be enough."

"What about Harm? I should check on him too. He's probably 
beating himself up pretty bad right now."

"I'll take care of him Sturgis. I'm going to stop by his 
house later and give him a well timed lecture and
some free advice. Let's just hope all this works. If it 
doesn't, I'm going to lose one or both of them,
because they won't be able to work together after this."

"You might lose one of them if it DOES work Admiral."   
Sturgis was amused by the Admiral's obvious attempt to make 
this meddling seem like it was really business related.

The Admiral shot him a grin, aware that he hadn't fooled 
Sturgis for a minute. "There's always Admirals
Privilege Commander. Good luck on this mission.  You're 
gonna need it."

"Any other helpful hints Admiral?" 

"Yeah, take her Beltway Burghers. Lots of them." The 
Admiral started laughing at the look on Sturgis' face.  
"Dismissed."

'Beltway Burghers? Why the hell would I do that?'  Thought 
Sturgis as he left.


Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station
1850 Local

Taking a swig of his beer, Harm thought again about the 
Admiral's last orders to him. He had every intention of 
keeping them, but it was hard. This was his second and 
final beer. More than anything he
wanted to have several beers and try to forget the wounded 
look in Mac's eyes. It tore at his soul. 

Swinging his feet up so that he was prone on the couch, he 
still managed to take another swallow of
beer. In spite of the Admiral's order not to contact her, 
he had reached for the phone several times, only
to set it down as he realized there was nothing he could 
say to make this better. An apology wasn't
going to cut it, and with his track record, an explanation 
was out of the question.

Hoping for some basketball to take his mind off everything, 
he had tried to reach Sturgis and only
reached voice mail, both at home and on his cell.  'Just as 
well,' he thought morosely. "Sturgis would
only give him hell for what happened with Mac. He didn't 
know why, but since Sturgis and Mac worked that murder case 
together, Sturgis was a little protective of Mac.

Well, everyone was a little protective of Mac, even the 
Admiral. When he had upset Mac before the
Jagathon race, the Admiral had called him on it. Even Bud 
had stopped him when he had been picking at her about her 
testimony at Bud's trial. 

Sighing, he set the beer down. Shit. That's all he could 
think. He had behaved like a complete and total
shit. Even as the hurtful words were coming out of his 
mouth, he was horrified at his behavior. In all
of his life, he had never spoken so hatefully and so out of 
control. Sure, he had been angry before, even
with Mac. But this was different.

He covered his eyes with his beer-free hand as if he could 
block out the sight of Mac swinging an arm back
to slap him. He almost wished the Admiral hadn't 
interrupted them so she had actually done it. He was
sure it would have hurt, she was a marine after all, but 
just maybe it would have allowed her some
satisfaction.

Again his thoughts returned to the look in her eyes as she 
left the Admiral's office. He downed the rest of
his beer and thought about risking another one. Three beers 
really wouldn't make him drunk. Hell, he could
probably have four and not even feel it.

Pushing himself up off the couch, he headed towards the 
kitchen to toss the empty bottle in the trash. A
knock at the door interrupted the debate over another one. 
A surge of hope entered his heart. Maybe it was
Mac. Realizing how unlikely that was, he walked toward the 
door unable to suppress that tiny voice of
hope. 

The tiny flicker died as he opened the door to find the 
Admiral, dressed in civvies and carrying a bag of
what looked like Chinese food. "Come in Sir. This is a 
surprise."

AJ entered the apartment as he looked Harm over. He looked 
like hell. His normally dapper officer was
dressed in sweats and an old T-shirt, and as he passed he 
caught a whiff of beer. But it was Harm's whole
demeanor that really caught his attention. The slump in his 
shoulders, tousled hair, and the haunted look
in his eyes all told the story of a man who was in deep 
pain.

Catching a glimpse of the beer bottles in the trash as he 
set the food on the kitchen island, his first
comment was "I thought I told you not to get drunk."  He 
smiled at Harm to let him know he was kidding.

"I'm not Sir. I only had two." Harm's ghastly attempt at a 
smile made him realize all the more how
much work had to be done to salvage this mess. He just 
hoped Sturgis was not finding Mac in as bad a
shape as Harm.

"Call me AJ, Harm. This is a social call." AJ began 
unpacking the food and gestured for Harm to sit down. 
"I got something vegetarian for you, I hope it's OK."

"Thanks AJ, I appreciate it, but I really don't have an 
appetite."

"Sit down and eat Harm. We have a lot of talking to do 
tonight, and you're going to eat first. You'll
feel better if you do. Plus, if you eat, I might let you 
have another beer." The amused twinkle in AJ's
eye made Harm smile for real this time, if only briefly. 

As he seated himself at the island, Harm realized that he 
wasn't in this alone. For some reason, his CO and
friend was in it with him. He didn't know why, but he was 
glad.

Nothing of consequence was talked about while they ate, for 
which Harm was grateful. They chatted about
cases, Francesca, and Bud's trial (with a careful avoidance 
of Mac's testimony) and what kind of effect,
if any, it would have on Bud's career. Finally, the meal 
ended.

"How about some coffee Harm. I think that that might be 
better than beer at this point." The Admiral's
tone was jovial, but Harm knew he was serious. The time for 
"the talk" had arrived.

"I'll make it. Just give me a second AJ." As Harm began 
preparing the coffee, he realized the desire for
beer had dissipated anyway. As the coffee maker began its 
brew cycle he asked the question had wanted to ask since 
this whole thing started. "Sir, why are you doing this?"

"I said call me AJ, Harm. I'm not here as your CO tonight, 
but as your friend." AJ paused as he thought
over his answer. "The reason I'm doing this, Harm, is 
because I care about you and about Mac."

"AJ, this is different. I have always thought of you as a 
great CO and a great friend, but this is
different."

Pleased to hear Harm acknowledge their relationship, AJ 
answered him honestly. "Because I have never seen two 
people who belong together as much as you and Mac do. And I 
have never seen such a screw up as this mess is. You're 
going to need help to fix this.

Harm, you and Mac have helped me through some of the 
hardest times in my life, even when I didn't want you too. 
You were both there when Laura died, when Francesca was 
kidnapped, and when that crazy man was killing off my 
friends and trying to kill me. You both have given me a lot 
of indigestion over the
years, but I never doubted your loyalty or your friendship. 
I would like to return the favor. It's that simple."

Mulling over AJ's answer, Harm found himself asking another 
question, knowing the answer would be more difficult. "So 
how do I fix this AJ?"

"Before we get into that, I need you to answer a few 
questions for me. They're very personal questions, and for 
that I apologize in advance, but I need to have background 
information so we can plan this right."

At Harm's nod, AJ began. "First, are you prepared to follow 
through with this? I mean, if everything works
out, you're going to be in a serious relationship with her. 
You are not going to back out of that, are you?"
AJ knew his friend, and he wanted to make sure that Harm 
was not going to falter at a critical moment.

Harm met his gaze squarely. "No Sir, I'm not going to back 
out. I've been trying to figure out a way to get
her ever since Mic left. Really before that, but I couldn't 
do it when she was involved with him."

AJ hid his exasperation, but couldn't stop a small jab of 
sarcasm. "Did you ever think of just saying 'Mac,
I love you. I want us to be together' or was that just to 
difficult?"

Embarrassed, Harm busied himself with pouring the coffee 
and carrying it over to the coffee table as they seated 
themselves on the couch. "Believe me, I've tried to do that 
a thousand times, but the timing was never right."

"You're serious? As many times as you have worked and 
traveled together, the opportunity never presented
itself? What about in Australia, before she was even 
involved with Brumby?" AJ was not above trying to
find out what happened there. Something big had happened, 
and Mac had returned wearing Brumby's ring,
something AJ had never expected. He'd thought Harm would 
win the two men's obvious competition for Mac hands down.

Harm leaned back against the sofa and let his head fall 
back. Staring at the ceiling, he tried to tell the short 
version of his first major screw up with Mac. "One night 
when I was out with Mac, she indicated that she wanted more 
from me, but I froze up. The next thing I know she's 
wearing Brumby's ring and out of my reach."

"What happened exactly Harm?"

His eyes still on the ceiling, Harm began the story.   
"After I returned from flight duty, everything was
different with Mac. It was like there was this barrier 
between us, plus I couldn't seem to find my feet. When we 
were in Australia, I was only just beginning to feel like 
things were normal again. Mac and I had dinner together one 
night. We were riding the ferry, and somehow the 
conversation wound around to the her being on the beach 
topless, with Brumby."

"Whoa. Mac was topless on the beach?" 'Sorry I missed that' 
AJ thought to himself, ever a man.

"No, I just thought she was." AJ wondered how Harm could 
mistake if Mac was topless or not, but didn't
want to interrupt. " And I didn't like it. Anyway, I said 
something to the effect of she wouldn't go topless in front 
of me would you, and she got this look in her eye that 
stopped me cold. Then she answered me with 'Is that a 
request?' and I froze. I mumbled something about the bridge 
we were passing under, and it just went downhill from 
there."

The Admiral resisted the urge to clap his hand to his head 
and groan. The man is on a romantic ferry ride in Sydney 
with a beautiful woman who asks him if he wants her to go 
topless, and he FREEZES!

"I don't know how you got your reputation as a ladies man 
Harm. Do you have this much trouble with all your woman?" 
Sarcasm had always been AJ's forte.

"No, I don't have this much trouble with woman usually. 
It's just Mac, damn it. Whenever it gets personal, my brain 
goes blank and I panic." 

Irritation made Harm lift his head from the back of the 
couch and glare at AJ. "It always happens around
her."

"Any other near misses I should know about?" AJ tried 
valiantly to hold his laughter back, but it was very
difficult.  

Resignedly Harm related the events of the Engagement party, 
the night Brumby left, his abortive attempt to
talk to Mac on the Guadalcanal, and finally the short talk 
after the Jagathon. "And after all that, we were
finally getting back our friendship. I wanted to give us 
time to know each other again before I told her I
loved her. I wanted to make sure everything went right this 
time, but before I knew it, everything snowballed and here 
we are."

AJ was silent as Harm spoke, sensing Harm's need to finally 
get it all out. After Harm finished, he asked
one more question. "What are you so afraid of Harm?"

"Everything!" Harm burst out. "I'm afraid it won't work 
out, that she doesn't feel the same way, that I'll lose the 
best friend I ever had, that..." His voice stopped 
suddenly, before finishing quietly. "I'm
afraid that I won't be able to make her happy. And it would 
kill me to lose her. Because after her, I know
there can never be anyone else for me."

Although he had been aware that Harm had strong feelings 
for Mac, AJ marveled at the depth of emotion
that turned the normally smooth talking lawyer into a 
fumbling teenager around her. Somehow he had to help them. 
The closet romantic in him refused to acknowledge that love 
like this wouldn't somehow carry
the day.

"All right Harm. We'll work it out."

"I don't see how AJ, but I hope you're right."

AJ's cell phone rang before he could answer him. 

"Chegwidden."

Harm's attention drifted as AJ carried on a conversation in 
which AJ's side consisted of 'Yes, I see' and 'And then?' 
and 'hmmm, ok'. His attention was caught when he heard AJ 
say, "No Sturgis, Harm is
fine. I'm here with him now. Yes, I'll tell him.  I'll see 
you in the morning then. Good Night, and thank you."

"That was Sturgis?" Harm's curiosity was up now.   What 
were his friends up to?

"Yes. He wanted me to tell you that Mac is OK."

"He was at Mac's tonight?" Harm's head was spinning.

"You didn't think I was going to let her just brood and 
work herself into another rage, did you? I told you I was 
going to help you. I sent Sturgis over to make sure she was 
OK and calm her down."

"Was she really OK Sir?"

"Harm, she's a marine. She will be fine as soon as we clear 
this whole thing up. She was very upset and angry, but 
she's calmed down some. It'll be fine."

"I hope so Sir." Harm had a slight feeling of hope for the 
first time since this whole thing started.   Finally 
telling someone everything had a cathartic effect, and 
allowed him some perspective. 

"OK Commander". The Admiral switched back to command mode. 
He wanted Harm to listen closely. "You will be in my office 
at 0930 sharp, but don't come in until I tell Tiner to send 
you in. Mac will already be there and I don't want you to 
interrupt us. By the time you come in, she will be calmer 
and more open to listening to you. I am going to order you 
two to discuss it in my office, and leave you alone. This 
is
your big chance Harm. Don't blow it."

Inside, Harm felt the feeling of hope grow steadily, along 
with a severe case of nerves. "I won't Sir."

"Then I'm going to say good night. It's late. Get some 
sleep and be sharp tomorrow. Tell her how you feel, and 
don't forget to crawl for forgiveness. A little groveling 
is good for the soul."

"Aye Sir. Good night." Harm escorted him to the door. "And 
Sir? Thank you, for everything."

"Your welcome Harm. You can repay me by being happy and 
making that marine happy."

"Yes Sir."

After the Admiral left, Harm took a shower and got into 
bed. Sleep eluded him as thoughts of tomorrow and what 
might happen raced in his brain. He prayed for the right 
words to come to him, and he prayed that
finally he and Mac would finally work it out.


Sarah Mackenzie's Apartment
Georgetown
1850

Mac stepped out of the bathtub and began toweling herself 
dry.  A stop on the way home at the gym had done little to 
relieve her nerves. An hour of kickboxing followed by 30 
minutes of weight lifting had exhausted her, and she had 
hoped a nice hot bubble bath would finally allow her to 
really relax.  It hadn't.

Running a comb through her hair, she felt another surge of 
rage pulse through her.  How dare he!  She threw the comb 
back on her bathroom vanity with a little more force than 
necessary.  Crossing into her bedroom, she pulled out a 
pair of her most comfortable sweats and dressed, all the 
while trying to calm herself with the mantra "I do not care 
what he thinks or feels.  His opinion means nothing to me."

Unfortunately, this mantra had done little to assuage the 
fury that coursed through her, or the hurt.  She had been 
using it since before she began her workout at the gym.  As 
had happened frequently since the whole thing began, her 
mood shifted and depression took over.  What was it with 
that man?  What was it about her that seemingly brought out 
the worst in him?

Heedless of her wet hair and its effect on her pillows, she 
threw herself on her bed.  The ache in her heart assumed 
monumental proportions as she thought about Harm.  Why?  
Why couldn't her just at least try with her?  She knew he 
at least desired her, and had some type of feeling for her.  
That much was obvious from her "discussion" with him on the 
Admiral's porch the night of her engagement party.  And it 
was obvious from his jealous reaction to every man she 
dated.  But let her be free from any romantic entanglements 
and emotionally ready to face him, the man ran faster than 
a chicken with its head cut off.

Tears welled up as she rolled on her side and hugged a 
pillow close.  He didn't want her enough.  He only wanted 
her when she was unavailable.  And even then all he could 
do was snipe at her or whatever man was in her life.  He 
never made a real move to let her know he wanted her.

Abruptly she threw the pillow down and stood up.  She would 
not cry.  Not over that son of a bitch.  As the ire took 
over again, she walked towards the kitchen intending to 
find something to eat.  That sorry SOB would rue the day if 
he thought he was going to basically call her a whore in 
front of the entire office and get away with it.  Not that 
he had used that word, but his intent was perfectly clear.

 It had been many years since anyone had talked to her that 
way.  Her father and Chris were really the last ones to 
verbally attack her like that.  The scars were still there, 
even after all this time.  Fortunately she was not some 
helpless teenager lost in a drunken haze most of the time.  
Now she could defend herself, and she would not tolerate 
that.  Not from anyone.

On one level she knew she was being oversensitive, that her 
abusive early years had honed her feelings to a point that 
the wrong word to her could cause an over reaction, but she 
didn't care.  Her anger at Harm was based on far more than 
just the argument they had this morning.  It was a deep 
abiding frustration that was based on years of feeling that 
she wasn't quite good enough for him.  The scene at the 
office today just pushed that anger all the way to the 
surface.

She searched the cupboards in her kitchen looking for 
something quick to fix when she came across a half empty 
bottle of vodka.  She froze, and then slowly reached for it 
and set it on the counter.  It was Mic's.  He liked to have 
a drink once in a while, but usually had one when she 
wasn't around.  She had forgotten this was here.

Staring at the bottle in front of her, she thought about 
how nice it would be to hide in the oblivion that it 
offered.  With a sigh she picked up the bottle, opened it, 
and poured it down the drain of her kitchen sink.  She knew 
too well where that would take her; it was definitely 
better to get rid of the temptation.

A knock at the door startled her as the last of the vodka 
drained out of the bottle.  'That had better not be Harm' 
she thought as she set the bottle down beside the sink and 
headed towards the door.  A look through the peephole 
revealed a nervous looking Sturgis dressed in jeans and a 
button down shirt, standing with his hands behind his back.  

Puzzled, she opened the door.  "Sturgis, what can I do for 
you?"

Smiling sheepishly he pulled his hands out from behind his 
back and showed her 3 Beltway Burgher bags.  "I want to 
talk to you."

Astonished, she looked at the proffered bags and then at 
his face.  "This is very nice of you Sturgis, but actually 
I'm kind of busy right now."  She didn't want to hurt his 
feelings, but she was definitely not in the mood to talk to 
anyone.

"Come on Mac.  It's important.  Please."  

Giving in, she opened the door further and gestured for him 
to enter.  "Why don't you take those bribes to the kitchen" 
she teased.  "Follow me."

As she lead the way to the kitchen she asked jokingly, "So, 
did you just guess what I like to eat, or did someone fill 
you in on the best way to my heart?"

In his calm way Sturgis answered her honestly as he set the 
bags on the counter.  "The Admiral actually let me in on 
the secret.  He's concerned about you Mac.  So am I."

The smell of vodka was strong in the air, and the empty 
bottle was still beside the sink.  "I thought you didn't 
drink Mac."  Even though he didn't know she was an 
alcoholic, he was concerned that his friend had reached for 
a bottle to solve her problems.

Embarrassed, she rinsed out the sink and threw the bottle 
in the trash as she answered.  "I don't.  This was Mic's.  
I was just getting temptation out of the way.  I'm a 
recovering alcoholic."  The last statement came out before 
she could stop herself.  She hadn't really meant to tell 
him that, but intuitively she knew she could trust Sturgis.

Surprised at her admission, Sturgis met her eyes 
compassionately.  Again he was amazed at this woman and 
what she had overcome in her life.  Deciding to say 
nothing, he busied himself taking out the dinner he had 
brought.  "I didn't know exactly what you liked, so I 
guessed.  Double bacon cheeseburger, fries, and a chocolate 
shake.  Sound okay?"

"Perfect."  Relieved he wasn't going to pursue the topic 
she had unintentionally opened, she reached up and pulled a 
couple of plates out.  Silently they arranged the food on 
their respective plates and then carried their plates out 
to the table and sat down to eat.

After a few more minutes of silence, he finally threw out 
his first shot.  "Are you all right Mac?  I heard about 
what happened at the office today."

Her answer was quick.  "I'm fine."  She took another bite 
of her cheeseburger after answering, effectively cutting 
off her ability to speak for the moment.

Sturgis mentally gave the Admiral points for knowing his 
people.  Looking her over, he decided that she was not fine 
and tried to decide the best way to get her to open up.  As 
he surreptitiously looked her over, he could see the pain 
and anger in her eyes, and the slight tremble to her hands.  
She also only ate a few bites of the burger, none of the 
fries, and only a small sip of the chocolate shake before 
pushing it all away.

Ignoring his own food for the moment, he reached over and 
took her hand in his and said softly  "Mac.  This is 
Sturgis.  I know, remember?  This has got to be hurting 
you."

Unexpectedly, she clutched at his hand as tears welled.  
Standing up, he pulled her up and put a comforting arm 
around her shoulder as she cried, the first real release of 
tears she had allowed herself.  After a few moments she 
pulled away.  "I'm sorry.  I almost never do that."

Guiding her gently over to the couch he sat beside her and 
continued to hold her hand.  "I think you should do it more 
often.  It would probably help."

At that she gave a teary chuckle.  "I'll keep that in 
mind."  She flopped back against the couch and stared at 
the ceiling.  "What am I supposed to do now Sturgis?  How 
am I even going to work with him again?"

Settling himself back against the couch himself, he replied 
"Why don't you tell me what happened this morning?  I don't 
know all the details, and I might be able to help better if 
I do."

She gave him a knowing look.  "I'm sure the details and 
then some were all over the office today."

"Of course."  He was going to insult her by lying to her.  
"But I want to know the truth, not scuttlebutt."

Looking down at her hands that were now in her lap, she 
played with her Marine Corps ring as she answered.  "First 
he came into my office to explain about his 'date' with you 
and Bobbi and Caroline.  He seemed nervous, as if he 
thought I was angry.  I tried to assure him I wasn't, and 
that I understood.  He then tried to say it wasn't really a 
date.  I asked him if he had made plans for another date 
with her, and he said yes.  I again assured him I 
understood, and wasn't angry and that I was still his 
friend.  Honestly Sturgis, I didn't try to be mean or 
nasty, I didn't want to fight.  He left, and though he 
still seemed upset, I thought everything would be okay."

She paused and looked at Sturgis again.  "I mean it 
Sturgis.  I really had accepted the fact he didn't want to 
be with me.  It was hard, and it hurt, but I can't force 
him into something he doesn't want."

Sturgis nodded, knowing that Harm really did want to be 
with her.  But he also knew that now was not a good time to 
even bring that up.

"So, then a friend of mine came in for some legal advice.  
I had been involved with him several years ago, and..." 
Another pause as she tried to find a short way to explain 
her relationship with John.  "Well, he was my CO, and we 
got involved when I was transferring out.  All this came 
out during my trial for murder.  Do you know about that?"

"Yes, I do.  Lieutenant Singer filled me in."

Grimacing at the thought of what Singer might have told 
him, she nevertheless continued on with her story.  "Well, 
as he was leaving he told me he was getting married.  I was 
so happy for him.  His involvement with me had cost him so 
much, and I always felt guilty about that.  It was so nice 
to see him finally happy."

Sturgis thought about that comment Harm had made in front 
of the elevator about Mac.  At the time, he didn't realize 
how much that statement would have hit home with her.  Now 
he saw just how much it must have hurt.

"Anyway, I gave him a hug as he was leaving, and he told me 
he would call me.  I wanted to meet the future Mrs. Farrow.  
And then he left."

She took a deep breath to steady herself as she related the 
next part.  "Harm came in my office.  At first I didn't 
understand why he was being so sarcastic and nasty, but I 
finally did.  He thought I was involved with John again, 
and trying to pay him back for going on a date.  I told him 
it was none of his business, and I tried to tell him that I 
wasn't involved with John when he cut me off."  She looked 
away as she told him the next part, her voice beginning to 
waver.  "He told me I never learned my lesson about men and 
that I couldn't stay away from them.  I guess I lost my 
temper because the next thing I know I was about to slap 
him when the Admiral interrupted." 

A hurt expression crossed her face.  "All this would have 
been bad enough, but he did it in front of the entire 
office.  Now I have to face these people again after he 
basically called me a whore in front of them."  Her voice 
trembled more strongly.  "I don't know how to.  I don't 
know how to face him, the Admiral, or anybody after this."

She leaned over and put her head in her hands.  "I honestly 
don't know how we got to this point.  There actually was a 
time when we really were best friends.  We would do 
anything for each other."  

He could tell she was on the verge of tears.  Reaching 
over, he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.  "It'll 
be okay, Mac."

Her reaction surprised him.  Throwing off his hand, she 
jumped to her feet and paced around the room angrily.  
"Don't tell me it'll be okay.  I don't go for that 'there 
there' crap.  It's NOT going to be okay.  The man I love, 
the man I thought was my best friend in the world, doesn't 
want me, even as a friend.  He thinks I'm a whore.  And he 
said so in front of all my co-workers, people who's respect 
I've worked hard to maintain.  How am I supposed to believe 
it's going to be okay?"  She turned and glared at him.

Keeping his composure in the face of her obvious anger was 
not easy, but he did it.  Rising from the couch, he walked 
over to stand in front of her.  "It will be okay Mac."

Her expressive brown eyes met his; still shooting sparks of 
anger before the hurt crept back in.  "Oh God Sturgis.  
What am I going to do?  Every time I think about it I get 
angrier and angrier, then it swings back the other way and 
I get more depressed.  How do I face him again?"  

He pulled her to his chest as she broke down in tears 
again, just holding her as she cried.  How he wished he had 
his Father's wisdom.  He could use it right now.

Gradually her tears waned, and her shoulders shook less and 
she pulled away.  "I'm sorry again Sturgis."

"Don't worry about it."  He tried to give her an 
encouraging smile, which she tried to return.

"I'm gonna wash my face.  Be right back."  She turned and 
went into the bathroom.

Sitting back down on the couch to wait for her, he mulled 
over everything she had told him.  He had seen Harm with 
woman many times over the years, and he was normally very 
smooth with them.  Almost too smooth.  It was when the 
relationship got deeper that the problems set in, when Harm 
couldn't commit or let the woman in completely.  Apparently 
he was so afraid of this woman that he screwed it up before 
it even began.

When Mac returned, she looked a good bit calmer.  This time 
when she gave him a smile, it almost looked natural.  
"Sorry about that Sturgis, really.  I'm so sorry for 
putting you in this whole situation."

"It's okay Mac.  I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to 
be."  Strangely enough, it was true.  His initial 
reluctance was only that he didn't want to intrude on her 
privacy, not that he didn't want to help.

She sat down next to him on the couch.  "Mac" he began.  "I 
can't begin to fathom your relationship with Harm.  Coming 
from an outside perspective, I can say that it is confusing 
to say the least."  He met her gaze steadily, wanting to 
convey his support. "But I can say that you should take a 
little step back from today and remember some good things 
Harm has done.  There are some good things, aren't there?"

He watched as she nodded and smiled.  "Yes, of course.  
Many good things."

"Then why not remember those things too?  If he were all 
bad you wouldn't love him.  Now I'm not defending his 
actions of today, but I am suggesting that maybe he has 
done enough good things for you that he's earned a chance 
to apologize and explain.  Is that possible?"

The war she was struggling with internally showed clearly 
on her face.  It was so much easier to hold on to the hurt 
and anger than to give in and risk being hurt again.  
Finally she nodded.  "Yes, he's done many wonderful things 
for me.  I guess I owe him a chance to explain."

"That's all I'm saying.  Don't throw away years of 
friendship over one bad argument without at least giving a 
try at fixing it."  He felt relieved and tense at the same 
time.  Relieved she would give Harm a chance, tense because 
he was afraid Harm would blow it.

She tensed slightly at his words.  "I'm not going to fix it 
Sturgis.  I'm going to give him the chance to fix it.  
That's all."

"I know."  He hastened to reassure her.

Quizzically she cocked her head.  "Why are you here anyway?  
I thought you'd be with Harm.  He's not alone, is he?"  

Smiling at her unconscious worry about Harm, he told her 
the truth.  "No, the Admiral's with him.  He suggested I 
might be able to let you vent.  He's doing the same thing 
with Harm."

She should have known.  As long as she had known the 
Admiral, he had tried to portray himself as a gruff, tough 
CO.  And he was, to a certain extent.  She just knew that 
deep inside he cared deeply for his friends, and would go 
to the ends of the earth to help them.  Much like Harm.

Exhaustion finally overtook her.  Sturgis noticed it 
immediately as she stifled a yawn.  "You're worn out, 
aren't you?  I'm going to get going now, but you call if 
you need anything.  OK?"

"Yes, Thanks Dad."  He was glad she felt good enough to 
tease him.

As they walked to the door she reached over and hugged him.  
"Thanks for everything Sturgis.  I'm sorry for carrying on 
like that, but it helped.  Thanks."

"Anytime Mac."  He shot her a grin closely resembling 
Harm's flyboy arrogant grin.  "After all, someone around 
here has to be the sane one."

Laughing she shut the door behind him.

As she made her way to bed, she thought out loud, "OK 
Flyboy.  You get one chance.  One.  You screw with me 
tomorrow and I will kick your ass all the way to 
Afghanistan."


JAG Headquarters
Next Day
0850

Mac was sitting in her office quietly drinking a cup of 
coffee before her meeting with the Admiral.  To say that 
her entrance into JAG five minutes ago was uncomfortable 
was like saying the Arctic was a little chilly.  

Hoping to slip into her office unnoticed, she had kept her 
head down as she walked towards her office, only to be 
greeted loudly by Lieutenant Singer.  "Good morning Ma'am.  
How are you today?  I hope your day today is better than 
yesterday."

Silence had fallen over the bullpen at Singer's not so 
subtle reference to yesterday's nightmare.  Embarrassed and 
irritated by the junior officer's impertinence, Mac had not 
taken it lying down.  "Good Morning Lieutenant.  I am fine, 
thank you for asking, and if you don't want a taste of what 
happened yesterday to happen to you than I suggest you stay 
out of my way."  Giving the lieutenant a glare that 
apparently intimidated her, Mac extended the glare to 
everyone around the bullpen.  Immediately everyone fell 
back to work and Singer faded back into the woodwork as Mac 
continued on to her office.

A knock at the door forced her to break out of her 
embarrassment.  "Enter."

Looking apprehensive, Harriet entered the office.  "Ma'am, 
I don't mean to intrude, but I wanted to know if...if...I 
can get you anything."  Harriet was struggling to avoid 
mentioning yesterday's incident, but wanted to offer her 
support to her friend.

Shooting her a short smile, Mac tried to set her at ease, 
as she knew Harriet was trying to be nice.  "Thanks 
Harriet, but no, there is nothing you can get me.  I 
appreciate it though."

Setting her coffee down, she rose and straightened her 
already immaculate uniform.  "I have to go see the 
Admiral."

Risking Mac's wrath again, Harriet again conveyed her 
support and caring as best she could.  "Good luck Ma'am."

Mac took a deep breath and gestured to Harriet to precede 
her out of the office.  As she shut the door she murmured 
quietly to Harriet, "Thanks.  I'm going to need it."

Then, she straightened her shoulders and walked calmly 
through the bullpen, aware of the eyes that followed her, 
but ignoring them.

Tiner was at his desk and rose as she approached.  "I 
believe the Admiral is expecting me Tiner."

"Yes Ma'am.  He said for you to go right in."

"Thank you Tiner."

She heard the Admiral's gruff "Enter" after she knocked at 
his door.  Coming to attention in front of his desk she 
reported in.  "Colonel Mackenzie reporting as ordered Sir."

The Admiral looked up at the woman in front of him.  He was 
pleased to note that she seemed calm and in control.

"Have a seat Mac."

Gracefully she sat on the edge of the chair and waited for 
him to speak.  He rubbed the bridge of his nose as he 
leaned back in his chair, still trying to decide the best 
way to begin.

"Mac, what happened yesterday in this office was a 
disgrace.  My Chief of Staff and Senior Attorney almost 
coming to blows is NOT something I ever want to see again."

There was no change of expression on her face.  "I 
understand Sir."

"I'm glad you do.  However, the only way to avoid this 
happening again is for you and Rabb to work out your 
differences.  I intend to make sure that happens.  Are you 
amenable to this?"  He wanted to make sure she would at 
least give Harm a chance.

"Sir, I can only say that I would prefer that it not happen 
again either, and will do my utmost to ensure that it 
won't."  She was not going to be the one fix this mess.  
She didn't start it, and she sure wasn't about to make it 
easy for the man who had trampled on her heart one two many 
times.

"That doesn't answer my question Mac.  I want a direct 
answer from you about this." 

"I don't know Sir.  I cannot say until I discuss the matter 
with him.  If I cannot resolve those differences, I will be 
requesting a transfer Sir.  I promise you I will not be 
responsible for disrupting this office with unprofessional 
behavior again."    This decision had been reached in the 
wee hours of the morning.  She would not stay and subject 
herself to anymore indignity or torture at the hands of 
Harmon Rabb.  This truly was his last chance.

Shocked, he stared at her, then decided to nip this idea in 
the bud.  "Colonel, any transfer request would have to be 
approved by me.  I have no intention of losing either one 
of you, so you had better concentrate on mending fences."  

"With all due respect Sir, it's not up to me to mend 
fences.  I am willing to do so, but it is not up to me.  
Commander Rabb has too..." She broke off, unwilling to 
finish the sentence, but he knew what she meant.
 
Softening his tone, he attempted one more time to reach 
her.  "Mac, you and he have been through a lot together.  
Don't throw that all away."

Stone-faced, she answered him.  "I didn't Sir.  He did."

He paused, considering her last statement.  He couldn't 
argue with her.  "All I'm asking Mac is that you try."

Finally she gave in an inch.  "I am willing to listen Sir.  
And to do my part."

He had to be satisfied with that.  Glancing at his watch he 
saw that it was 0935.  Hitting the intercom he asked, 
"Tiner, is Commander Rabb here?"

He noticed Mac stiffen.

"Aye Sir.  He's waiting to speak to you."

"Send him in."

Harm entered and stood at attention, only taking a seat 
after AJ waved him down.

Neither officer acknowledged the other one. The tension in 
the air was palpable.  AJ looked at his officers, both 
sitting stiffly in their respective chairs, neither one 
looking at the other.  Heaving a sigh, he started.

"I am not going to have another scene like yesterday's in 
this office again, do you understand me?"

"Yes Sir."  Mac and Harm answered in unison.

"In view of the fact that this issue is between the two of 
you, I am expecting you two to resolve it.  And I mean 
today.  I have an appointment with the SecNav this morning 
at 1000 hours.  I will be out of the office for at least 
two hours.  When I get back, I expect this matter to be 
resolved and you two no longer at odds.  You have the use 
of this office for the duration of my absence."

AJ rose and picked up his cover.  "I have also given orders 
that you two are not to be disturbed.  There will, of 
course, be disciplinary action taken for that display 
yesterday.  That will be discussed when I return."  

Giving both of his officers a stern look he turned to 
leave.  At the door he looked back.  "Do not mess with me 
about this.  Have things worked out so that you can work 
together.  I mean it."

He turned again and walked out the door leaving the two 
officers alone together.

The silence continued.  Harm wanted to speak, but didn't 
know where to start.  All last night he had rehearsed a 
speech as he tried to sleep, only to forget every single 
word of it now that he was here with Mac.  He couldn't 
bring himself to say anything.

Mac, for her part, was getting impatient, and the silence 
was getting to her.  What the hell was she supposed to do?  
Just tell him it was okay and forget about it?  She 
couldn't.  He had to make some gesture of apology at least.  
Then at least she could try to at least work with him, but 
he had to make some kind of gesture first.  She wouldn't 
accept anything less.

Finally Harm opened his mouth.  "Mac?"

She turned to look at him.  His eyes conveyed his fear, and 
his sorrow.  The way he said her name, with such longing, 
almost undid her.  She reminded herself to be strong, not 
to give in to those pleading eyes.  That was what always 
got her into trouble with this man.

He began to speak, but she cut him off.  "Before you say a 
word, there's one thing you better know.  I will not stand 
for you or anybody else to talk to me like you did 
yesterday.  I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you 
didn't mean it, that you didn't realize what you were 
saying.  But Harm, you basically stood there in my office 
and called me a whore.  I took that crap enough in my life, 
and I don't have to anymore."

Immediately defensive, he leaped to his feet.  "Hold on a 
minute Mac.  I didn't call you a whore."

"You implied it."   The rage began to simmer again and her 
voice got louder.

Irritation with her crept into Harm.  This was difficult 
enough without her blowing things out of proportion.  His 
tone became steely as he paced back and forth in front of 
her.  "I most certainly did not imply it.  If I wanted to 
call you a whore, I'd come right out and say it, not dance 
around the issue.  And I never even associated that word 
with you, so don't put words in my mouth."

"You dance around issues all the time!  You always have!  
And I am not putting words in your mouth!  I couldn't get a 
word in your mouth because your foot is always there!"  
Rising quickly, she got right in his face, her temper 
getting the better of her.

"I'm SICK of dancing around issues!  I'm sick of you 
treating me like...like..."  Anger made her fumble for an 
analogy.  Finally inspiration struck.  "Like I'm a dirty 
old bone and you're a dog.  You don't want the bone, but 
god forbid anyone else take it from you!

His own anger welled up at her harsh words.  "I don't treat 
you like a dirty old bone!  And I tried to call an end to 
this dance, remember?  It was YOU that couldn't finish the 
conversation, it was YOU that ran away!"  Furious with her 
now, he practically yelled at her.

Not giving an inch in the face of his fury, she yelled 
right back at him.  "Oh that's right.  Blame me.  It's all 
my fault that we're in this situation.  It has nothing to 
do with the fact that if I brought up the subject, YOU 
weren't ready for it.  You were too busy chasing your 
blonde bimbos!"

Outside the office, their raised voices could be heard, 
although the words could not be understood.

A nervous Tiner looked up at Sturgis, who was giving him a 
file for the Admiral.  "Don't you think you should check on 
them Sir?"

Looking at the door from whence the raised voices were 
issuing from, Sturgis returned his glance to Tiner with a 
smile.  "I don't think I want to go in there, Tiner.  Do 
you?"

"No Sir."  

Inside the Admiral's office, the battle raged on.  


 "I never chased blonde bimbos!  And they weren't bimbos!" 
Thoroughly incensed now, he pointed his finger at her as he 
shouted, "Damn it, I came back from flying for you.  All I 
wanted to do was try to make things right with you, and you 
had replaced me with Brumby!"

Resisting the urge to grab his finger and break it, she 
fought back just as loudly.  "Oh don't give me that.  For 
the record, when you came back from flying Mic and I were 
just friends, we were not involved at all.  And I walked in 
your office to find you calling Jordan, trying to make up 
to her!  She was the bim..." Smirking at him, she changed 
the word.  "LADY you came back for.  You didn't come back 
for me, and don't try to snow me with a line like that!"

The anger drained from him when he remembered that time.  
Everything had been so awkward.  He couldn't seem to 
connect with Mac, and reaching out to Jordan had seemed the 
easier thing to do.

His voice lowered as his anger faded.  "Mac, I did come 
back for you.  But everything was so crazy, you were 
different, hell, I was different.  I couldn't fit in."  He 
turned away from her, trying to diffuse their 
confrontation.  "I really thought you were involved with 
Brumby then.  And I just needed someone to take my mind off 
it.  That's why I called Jordan."

Struggling to soften her tone to match his, she asked, 
"Then why did you back away?  In Australia?"

Looking like a 6 year old digging his toe in the ground, 
Harm didn't meet her gaze.  "Because I was scared.  I just 
needed a little time to sort things out.  I wanted you, but 
at the same time I couldn't reach out to you.  I needed to 
be in control of my life before I started anything with 
you."

Despite her attempts, her voice started to go up again.  
"You were in control enough to start something with Renee."

"Mac, it just happened.  It was a knee-jerk reaction to 
your wearing Brumby's ring.  I never meant for it to go as 
far as it did."  He looked up from the floor.  "I tried to 
put away those feelings after you got engaged.  She seemed 
the easiest way to forget them."

Damn him.  He always seemed to be able to get to her.  She 
tried to hold on to her anger, to remember that he was 
flirting with the architect just a few days ago.

"It's all water under the bridge anyway Harm."  Leaning 
against the Admiral's desk, she looked up at the ceiling as 
she crossed her arms.  "None of that changes where we are 
now.  Which is nowhere.  You can flirt, date, or marry any 
blonde bimbo you want, you don't need my permission.  All I 
ask is that you accord me the same respect.  And for the 
record again, I am not involved with John.  But there is a 
small chance that someday, somewhere, someone might 
actually want me.  And I don't need you to screw that up 
for me just because you don't think I merit actually being 
with someone."

Shocked, he again faced her head on.  "Is that what you 
think?  That I don't think you're good enough?"

Determinedly she met his gaze.  "What else am I supposed to 
think?  You certainly don't think I'm good enough for you, 
look how easily you gave up on us.  And apparently everyone 
else that looks at me is too good for me too."

Gently he reached up to touch her cheek.  "Mac, I never..." 
Jerking her head away, she turned and walked to the 
fireplace, staring into the burning logs.  "Don't Harm.  I 
can't play these games anymore, they're too painful."

"Mac, in my wildest dreams I never thought you weren't good 
enough, for me or anyone else."  Coming up behind her, he 
took her arm to gently turn her.  When she wouldn't turn, 
he simply put his arms around her from behind her, hugging 
her tenderly.  "I always thought the men you wanted weren't 
good enough for you, me included."

Unbidden, the tears welled up.  She choked them back as she 
pulled away from him, unwilling to trust, unwilling to give 
up the anger.  "Don't Harm."

Unfazed, he followed her few steps, but didn't touch her.  
"Why Mac?  Let's get it all out in the open.  For once."

Whirling, she startled him as she shouted at him again.  
"All out in the open?  OK, you asked for it.  How long is 
this little episode of 'comforting Mac' going to last?  One 
week?  Two?  Until your next date with the blonde..." She 
stopped herself from the word bimbo.  "... architect?  Or 
until she fixes your screwed up plumbing?"

Unseen by either of them, the Admiral quietly poked his 
head in the door without knocking.  At Mac's loud question, 
he smiled to himself and withdrew his head.  At least they 
were talking.  It was about time.

Recognizing the jealousy and hurt for what it was, Harm 
didn't rise to the bait this time.  He kept his tone quiet 
and even.  "Mac, there are so many things I need to 
apologize to you for.  Caroline is only one of them."  
Mac's eyes flashed at the sound of the architect's name, 
but she kept quiet.  Barely.

"First, I'm sorry for all the pain I've ever caused you.  
Believe me, it was never my intention to hurt you.  There 
are so many times I've wanted to reach out to you, to just 
love you with every part of my being, but I couldn't.  And 
eventually, it became a habit to back away, to not face 
uncomfortable situations and to deny everything I felt for 
you." 

Smiling gently at her shocked expression, he again reached 
for her cheek to gently cup it.  This time she didn't move 
away.  "I didn't want to go out with Caroline, Mac.  I got 
trapped into it.  That's no excuse, but it is the truth.  
It's you I want.  It's you I love.  And it's you that I 
need.  I love you Sarah."

Her chocolate eyes opened wide at his admission.  As 
tenderly and gently as he knew how, he leaned over and 
touched his lips to hers, praying all the while that she 
wouldn't pull away or fight him.

The shock of his revelation left her dumfounded.  
Completely unprepared for his declaration of love, she did 
the only thing she was capable of at that moment.  Nothing.

The touch of his lips to hers induced her eyes to close 
automatically, the sweet persuasion of his mouth 
momentarily overwhelming her.  It was a brief kiss, but 
when the warmth of his mouth left hers she almost whimpered 
from the sudden loss.

"Sarah?"  The sound of her name whispered in his husky 
voice caused her eyes to flutter open.  He was staring at 
her, worry all over his face.

And Harm really was worried.  Maybe he had really 
overstepped this time.  Maybe it was too late for them.  As 
her eyes fluttered open, his heart, already racing from the 
kiss, started doing double time in his chest.  The look of 
wonder in her eyes made his hopes soar sky high.

When the wonder changed to doubt, his hopes plummeted.

"Harm, do you mean it?"  How could she not know?  Everyone 
in this office knew, hell, probably everyone that had ever 
seen them together knew.  How could she not know?

Resolving to settle this once and for all, he took her 
small hand in both of his and pressed it against his chest.  
"I've never meant anything more in my life Sarah."

His heart was beating erratically under her fingers and she 
could see the uncertainty still written on his face.  As 
much as she wanted to erase his fears, it was a heady 
feeling to know that she was the cause of it all.  After 
all the doubts and fears of her own, it was a relief to 
know he felt the same way.

"Sarah?"  When she didn't say anything more, fear began to 
wash over him.  Maybe it really was too late.

Looking into her eyes once more, he saw the instant the 
doubt faded.  For the first time, she allowed all the love 
she had ever held for this man to shine through her 
expressive brown eyes.  Before she said a word, a slow 
smile spread across his face.

Not his cocky "flyboy" grin.  Not the arrogant "I'm the 
best lawyer" grin.  It was the shy hopeful smile of a man 
in love who thought he might be loved in return, one she 
had never seen on him before.

She withdrew her hand from his chest and reached up to 
touch his face, one finger delicately traced the lips that 
had just kissed her.  "I love you Harm.  I always have."

"Oh god, Sarah."  Before he could get another word out, she 
was in his arms.  This kiss was not the anguished kiss of 
good bye that the Norfolk kiss had been.  Nor was it the 
tortured kiss of chances unrealized that the kiss on the 
Admiral's porch had been.  It was not the sweet kiss of 
friendship renewed that their mistletoe kiss had been.  
This was the first kiss of love declared.

Mac wrapped her arms around Harm's neck and held on 
tightly, her knees buckling under the onslaught of passion 
that caught her unaware.  The feel of his lips, the taste 
of his mouth, the way he whispered her name as he feathered 
kisses down her neck threatened her hold on reality.  Her 
mind spun as she realized she was finally in his embrace.

The feel of Mac pressed against him had Harm's mind in a 
whirl as well.  The silkiness of her hair as he ran his 
fingers through it, the satin of her skin has his lips 
glided over it, the passionate response to his kisses 
proved to be his undoing.  He had wanted this for so long, 
and now she was ultimately his.

Passion overwhelmed both of them, making them forget where 
they were.  The little sounds Mac made in the back of her 
throat; his own gasps of pleasure were the only sounds in 
the room as they continued the burning embrace.

Outside the Admiral's Office

Tiner watched in wonder as the Admiral paced back and forth 
in front of his office, not sure what he should do in this 
situation.  The Admiral had been pacing for twenty minutes, 
and Tiner was at his wit's end.

The loud angry voices had continued for a few minutes after 
AJ had looked in his office before finally fading.  Now, no 
sound was issuing forth and he was anxious to get in there.  
He had work to do.

Finally he decided to take another look.  Surely they were 
done fighting by now.  Quietly the Admiral again opened the 
door, this time to a much different scene.  His Chief of 
Staff and Senior Attorney were definitely not fighting 
anymore; they were locked in a passionate embrace.  It also 
looked like it was going to go a lot further unless he 
interrupted them very soon.  He made a quick decision and 
closed the door quietly.

"Tiner!"  He barked loudly at his startled Yeoman.

"Yes Sir?"  Why was the Admiral yelling?  He was sitting 
right in front of him.

"Get me some coffee please.  I'll be in my office.  Have 
Rabb and Mackenzie come out yet?"

"Uh...No Sir.  They haven't."  Tiner thought it best not to 
question the Admiral, just go along with whatever he 
wanted.  He'd learned a long time ago that life was easier 
that way.

AJ opened his door again to find both of his errant 
attorneys calmly sitting in front of his desk.  They both 
rose as he entered the room and he waved them back down.  
Harm was especially grateful for this, as he had not 
managed to "calm down" completely.  Hopefully, his jacket 
would cover up any residual side affects of his meeting 
with Mac.

AJ, in the meantime, looked his officers over carefully as 
he sat down.  Mac's hair was out of place and her eyes were 
a little glazed over, but looked none the worse for wear.  
Harm, on the other hand, had lipstick all over him.

Rubbing his hand over his face to hide his grin, AJ finally 
managed to get a stern look worked up.  "I trust that you 
two have resolved your differences?"

The look that passed between them would have melted Alaska.  
Mac answered for both of them, as Harm seemed a little 
befuddled.  "Yes Sir.  We have."

"Good.  Then there will be no more scenes like 
yesterday's?"

AJ could almost see the current of electricity between them 
as they again exchanged glances.  "No Sir."  Harm finally 
had found his voice.

"Then there is only the matter of disciplinary action to be 
taken care of."  This time the look the two shared was 
apprehensive.

"The file room needs reorganizing.  All of the 2000 files 
need to be boxed up and sent to storage, and the remaining 
2001 files need to be moved to the back files.  This is an 
excellent weekend job for two attorneys, don't you agree?"

"Yes Sir."  Both of them repeated dutifully, now exchanging 
a look of dismay.  The files were massive and dusty.  It 
was a dirty job, usually assigned to the lowest ranking 
petty officers.

"Now, both of you missed most of yesterday, I expect you to 
be back at work today going full steam.  You both have 
cases to work on, do you not?"

"Yes Sir."  In unison this time, with no accompanying look.

"Good.  Dismissed."

They both rose to leave.  Almost unconsciously, Harm's hand 
caressed her back as they headed toward the door.

"Oh Commander, a word with you please."

Both of them stopped as Mac turned her head to look up at 
Harm.  Her eyes took on a look of alarm as she looked 
closely at his face, but she could say nothing.  Thinking 
she was worried about their earlier revelations, he smiled 
reassuringly at her.

There was nothing she could do; it was too late.  
Thankfully, she, at least, seemed to be escaping the 
Admiral's reprimand, but she felt sorry for Harm.  She 
continued out the door, heading for her office.

Harm turned back to the Admiral.  "Yes Sir?"

"Have a seat Harm."  The Admiral gestured again to one of 
the chairs, preparing to enjoy himself hugely at his 
officer's expense.

"I'm glad to see you've resolved your differences Harm.  I 
take it she accepted your apology?"

"Not without some argument and a lot of persuasion, Sir."  
To his credit, Harm smothered the grin that threatened to 
take over as he thought about the 'persuasion' and managed 
to maintain a somewhat professional demeanor.  At least as 
professional as a lipstick covered face allowed him to 
appear.

"I see."  

A long pause.  Harm shifted uncomfortably as the Admiral 
gazed at him, his expression stern though amusement lurked 
in his eyes.

"You do realize, Commander, that there are certain 
standards of behavior that I expect you to adhere to, even 
if your...ah... persuasion...is successful?

Puzzled, Harm could only query his CO.  "Sir?"

"Wipe your face, Commander."  AJ tossed his handkerchief 
across the desk to Harm, his visage stern.

Mystified, but now slightly nervous, Harm took the 
handkerchief and wiped his face thoroughly.  A deep flush 
came over his face as he looked at the now lipstick covered 
handkerchief.  Chagrined, he realized now what the look of 
alarm on Mac's face had been about.

The Admiral's deep laugh did nothing to assuage his 
embarrassment.  AJ simply could not hold it in.  It was too 
funny.  The more he looked at Harm, still sitting there 
embarrassed, the more he laughed.

The humor of the situation finally struck Harm and allowed 
him to share his CO's amusement, although with some 
trepidation.  The Admiral really could make life difficult 
for them if he wanted to.

Finally the Admiral stopped laughing, although he seemed to 
have a difficult time not giving back into it.  AJ 
eventually noticed Harm's dismay, and managed to pull 
himself together.   "Relax Harm, I didn't go through all 
that last night to throw you in the brig today!  Just keep 
it out of the office, for God's sake."

AJ turned serious for a moment.  "I mean it Harm.  As much 
as I am your friend, I am also responsible for making sure 
this office runs smoothly.  The personal life, fights and 
all, stays out of the office.  Don't try me on this.  I 
don't want to have to send a chaperone to the library with 
you two.  Is that understood?"

"Yes Sir."  Harm knew when to shut his mouth.

"Very well.  Dismissed."  

The Admiral's laughter followed him out the door.


JAG Headquarters
Mac's Office

Mac was seated at her desk, ostensibly looking over a file 
as she waited for Harm to escape the confines of the 
Admiral's office.  The morning's events had turned her life 
upside down.  She had not expected anything like what had 
happened to actually occur.  He had actually said he loved 
her.

Harm loved her.

With a few simple words and a helluva kiss, he had managed 
to completely undo her.  She realized that in spite of the 
years of misunderstandings and hurt feelings they both had, 
she was ready to trust him completely.  Sturgis had been 
right last night, there had been to many good things that 
Harm had done for her ever to really mistrust him.  Not 
when he had declared himself so eloquently.  She smiled as 
she thought of the morning's events again.

"You know, you could have warned me."  Harm's low voice 
broke into her thoughts and sent a tingle all the way to 
her toes.

Leaning against the door frame of her office, he was 
looking her with what she could only think of as "bedroom" 
eyes.  Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of him, 
and she had to remind herself to breathe.

"How?" she replied with a grin.  "I only noticed as we were 
leaving the office, and by then it was too late."  Trying 
to look sympathetic, she asked, "Was it bad?"

He entered the office and sat down as he replied.  "It was 
very embarrassing, but all in all I think it was worth it."  
He smiled at her, but there was definitely some 'heat' 
behind the smile.  "I'd take much worse punishment for the 
reward I got this morning."

Blushing, she still managed to meet his gaze with a sexy 
look of her own.  "Oh really?"

A knock at the door interrupted them.  It was Sturgis.  
"Just checking to see if you two have killed each other 
yet.  Is it safe to be around you?"  He looked the still 
blushing Mac and the very cocky pilot.  Shooting a grin at 
them both, he continued, "Ah...maybe it's not safe to be 
around you."

Mac's face got even redder.  "Sturgis!"  Harm merely 
returned the grin and propped his feet up on Mac's desk, 
looking more arrogant than ever.

"Did you just come in here to embarrass us, or is there 
another reason for this visit?"  Mac's voice was firm and 
her blush was finally fading.  A warning glare to Harm 
caused him to hastily put his feet back down and straighten 
up in his chair.  Sturgis hid the smile as the term 
'whipped' popped into his mind.  He never thought he'd see 
the day.

"Actually yes, Colonel.  The Commander and I had a meeting 
scheduled in about three minutes with his client.  I was 
just making sure he would be able to attend."

"Yeah, hang on Sturgis.  I just have to grab the file off 
my desk."  Out of the line of sight of Sturgis, Harm winked 
at her as he followed Sturgis out of the office.

Once in the hall, he stopped.  "Wait Sturgis, I forgot 
something.  Be right back."

He stuck his head back in Mac's office, his eyes drinking 
in the sight of his beautiful marine.  "Sarah, you are 
having dinner with me, right?"

The simmering look she gave him almost caused him to forget 
where they were.  "I was hoping you would ask, Flyboy."

"Does this mean you are?"  He didn't want to assume 
anything.  That had gotten him into trouble more than once.

"Try and stop me, Sailor.  I'm looking forward to having 
you for dinner."  A saucy smile graced her face as she 
teased him.

His heart started racing again at her words, and blood 
began to flow south.  "Mac.  Don't do that."  He groaned as 
he withdrew from her office, taking a deep breath to gain 
control over his body before rejoining Sturgis.

Her laughter followed him, bringing a smile to his face.  
It was going to be a long day, but he was sure it was going 
to finish up a great one.


JAG Headquarters 
1710 Local 

Harm hurried through the bullpen scanning for Mac. Her 
office was closed and dark, and he couldn't see her 
anywhere in the offices. Disappointed, he headed for his 
office, hoping there was a message from her. His meeting 
with Sturgis had taken longer than he thought, and then his 
client had demanded to discuss the case in detail. 
Normally, this would not have been any problem, but he was 
anxious to meet Mac and firm up their date for tonight. 

As he sat down at his desk, an envelope with his name on it 
caught his eye. Eagerly he ripped it open, feeling slightly 
ridiculous at the way his heart leaped when he recognized 
Mac's flowing script. 

Harm- 

Sorry to miss you, but the Admiral gave me a new case and I 
have to go to Baltimore. I should be back around 1900. 
Shall we just meet at your place? I'll call when I leave 
Baltimore to let you know how late I'm going to be. 

Mac 

PS. Looking forward to "dinner" tonight. (smile) 

Remembering her last comment about having "him" for dinner 
tonight, he just had to laugh. A thrill of excitement shot 
through him as he thought about all that dinner might 
entail. Maybe he should just have dinner waiting for her; 
she'd be tired after the drive from Baltimore and probably 
wouldn't want to go out. 

'Yeah right. Rationalization at it's best,' he thought to 
himself. 'What you mean is that you would like to be alone 
with her with no chance of interruption.' Warmth flowed 
through him as he considered this, knowing that an evening 
alone with Mac was something he had looked forward to for a 
long time. A smile crept across his face as he contemplated 
the evening ahead. 

Snapping out of the daydream, he looked at his watch. Just 
enough time to stop at the grocery store to pick up some 
things for dinner. Making a mental list of everything he 
would need, he picked up his briefcase and cover as headed 
out the door. 


Harm's Apartment 
North of Union Station 
1825 Local 

Harm struggled with opening the door; his arms loaded with 
groceries. Damn beltway traffic. He's sat for 25 minutes 
waiting for an accident to clear. The grocery store had 
been crowded and the lines had been long. 

Setting the groceries down on the counter, he checked his 
watch again. He just had time to get everything ready. 
Concerned that he hadn't heard from Mac, he checked his 
cell phone. God damn it! The battery was dead. In the rush 
to the store and the irritating wait in traffic, he hadn't 
thought to check it. The light on his answering machine was 
blinking.

He pushed the play button, hoping it was a message from 
Mac. It was. Her familiar warm voice sounded wonderful to 
him. "Flyboy, I tried your cell but had no luck. Did you 
forget to charge the battery again?" The teasing tone had 
him smiling. "Anyway, things went a little longer here than 
I planned, so I won't be there until around 1930." There 
was a pause and he could hear the insecurity creep in. 
"Um...if you've made other plans or it's not convenient, 
just let me know. I have my cell with me. Talk to you 
later." 

Knowing Mac as well as he did, he knew that the time away 
from him without talking had let the doubts back in. He 
immediately picked up the phone to call her, wanting to 
dispel those doubts and reassure her that all he wanted to 
do was be with her. The phone rang and rang before her 
voice mail picked up. "Seems like I'm not the only one who 
forgot to charge the cell phone battery. Mac, I'll be 
waiting here for you with dinner ready. Of course I haven't 
made other plans; I've been looking forward to spending the 
evening alone with you. Call me, please? I'm waiting here 
at home to hear your voice." 

She never forgot to charge her cell phone. For someone 
who's office looked like a wrecking crew had just been 
through it, she was amazingly organized. 

He shook off the feeling of apprehension that took hold of 
him. Nothing had happened to her, she just forgot to charge 
the battery. It wasn't like her though. 

As he went to the kitchen to prepare dinner, he thought 
about all the ways he could tease her about not charging 
her cell phone. His thought drifted to other ways he could 
tease her as he chopped vegetables for the pasta. 


Harm's Apartment 
North of Union Station 
1945 Local 

The table was set and the dinner was prepared. Pasta 
Primavera with a shrimp salad. The non-alcoholic wine was 
chilled and ready to be opened. The lit candles all around 
the apartment cast a romantic light. Sensuous jazz music 
played softly in the background, contributing to the air of 
romance he wanted to share with her. 

Harm was not enjoying the romantic atmosphere. He was 
pacing back and forth. It wasn't like her to be late. It 
wasn't like her not to call. Anxiously he checked his watch 
again, comparing it to the wall clock, hoping his watch was 
fast and she was not really late. The watch and the wall 
clock had the same time. 

He had tried several times to reach her, but had always 
gotten her voice mail. The bad feeling in the pit of his 
stomach kept getting worse as the minutes ticked by. He 
grabbed his car keys, intending to go look for her, but put 
them back on the hook by the door. Where would he look? 

Thirty minutes and two unsuccessful phone calls to Mac 
later he decided to try the Admiral. Maybe she had gotten 
delayed on the case and notified him. He knew he was 
grasping at straws, but anything was better than just 
sitting here waiting. God, when he got his hands on her for 
worrying him like this... 

Picking up the phone again, he dialed the Admiral's number. 

"Chegwidden." 

"Admiral, it's Commander Rabb." Harm was a little nervous. 
He didn't want to sound like an overprotective boyfriend, 
but he felt strongly there was some reason to worry. 

"Harm? I would have thought you had better things to do 
tonight than call me." 

AJ's teasing tone almost made him smile until he realized 
that it meant that the Admiral hadn't heard from Mac. 

"Sorry to bother you Sir, but have you heard from Colonel 
Mackenzie?" Harm tried to keep the worry out of his voice, 
but failed completely. 

AJ's tone changed to concern instantly. "No, why? What's 
wrong?" 

Harm filled him in on the situation as quickly as he could, 
panic beginning to set in. 

"Calm down Harm. I'm sure there's a good reason for all of 
this. She's probably stuck in traffic or had some car 
trouble. We'll all probably laugh about this later." Harm 
could tell the Admiral was just mouthing the words. AJ was 
as worried as he was. 

"I'm going to go look for her, Sir. I'm going crazy just 
sitting here." 

There was a short pause as the AJ considered the best 
course of action. "No. Sit tight for now. Keep trying her 
cell. I have some friends in the DC Police Department and 
the Maryland State Troopers. I'll give them a call and have 
them trace the major routes from Baltimore to DC." AJ was 
decisive and firm, as always coming up with a plan of 
action that made sense. 

"You'll call me Sir?" He knew AJ was right, but he still 
wanted to go look for her. The waiting had gotten to him; 
he wasn't use to it. Whenever there was a problem, he 
wanted to act, not wait. 

"I'll call you back as soon as I get a report from the 
police. They'll find her Harm. Don't worry." AJ tried to 
reassure Harm with all the confidence he could muster, but 
underneath it he was worried about Mac himself. She was 
punctual to a fault with that amazing sense of time. 

"Yes Sir," Harm responded automatically. Twenty five 
minutes later he tried her cell phone for the third time 
since talking with the Admiral. 

His heart leaped when the ring was interrupted with a 
click, only to sink when a man's voice answered 

"Hello." 

Not sure if he dialed the right number, Harm asked for Mac. 
"May I speak with Sarah Mackenzie please?" 

"Who is this?" 

"My name is Commander Harmon Rabb. Who are you?" 

"Commander, I'm Officer Connor with the Maryland State 
Patrol. We were just getting ready to call Admiral 
Chegwidden." 

Fear clutched his heart, almost overwhelming him. "Why are 
you answering Mac's phone?" 

"I don't know how to tell you this except straight out 
Commander. We've located Ms. Mackenzie's car. It was on the 
side of the road with the keys still in it, her purse and 
cell phone were on the passenger seat. There is no sign of 
Ms. Mackenzie." 

Harm clutched the phone tightly, his knuckles turning 
white. "Where are you?" he bit out shortly, terror for Mac 
making him tremble.

 Officer Connor named a location a few miles from Harm's 
apartment. "I'm on my way." 

As fast as was humanly possible Harm snatched up his keys 
and cell phone (which he had recharged) and raced for the 
car. There had to be some clue as to her whereabouts; he 
was determined to find it. 

Halfway to Mac's car, the cell phone rang. Again his heart 
leaped as he answered, praying it was Mac. 

"Rabb." 

"Harm, I just got off the phone with Officer Connor. I'm on 
my way. Stay cool, keep your head. We won't be any good to 
her if we can't think straight." 

"Yes Sir." Panic had set in, keeping his answers short as 
he fought to control it. 

"I'll see you in five, Commander."

Harm pulled the SUV off the road on the opposite side of 
Mac's car. It was obvious she had been headed to his place. 
There was no apparent damage to the car that he could see. 
Stepping out of the car, he walked slowly up the corvette, 
almost fearing what he would find. 

"Commander Rabb? I'm Officer Connor." The older man seemed 
friendly, but was also aware of the seriousness of the 
situation. 

"Have you found anything Officer?" Harm got straight to the 
point. 

"No, we haven't. There is no sign of physical resistance, 
and there's no sign of what might have happened. I have an 
officer dusting for prints, but from the looks of things I 
doubt he'll find anything significant." 

The Admiral pulled up in his SUV at the moment. He also cut 
to the chase. Looking at Harm, he asked pointedly, 
"Anything?" 

Harm shook his head. "This is Officer Connor." 

As AJ and the Officer exchanged greetings and information, 
Harm walked over and looked at the corvette. Just as the 
officer said, Mac's purse was on the passenger seat. The 
cell phone was next to it. Officer Connor must have put it 
back after speaking to Harm. 

Looking around the area, he noticed that it was basically 
deserted and rural. House lights shone in the distance, but 
none were close enough to offer witnesses. The grass around 
the roadside was tall and damp, and had not been disturbed 
recently. There were no trails to follow. 

Walking along the edge of the road, Harm continued to scan 
the area looking for clues. For anything that would help 
him find Mac. His shoe crunched on something that didn't 
feel like a piece of rock, whatever it was had some give in 
it. He moved his foot and bent down to look. It looked like 
a small plastic dart of some type. 

A cold chill ran down his back as thought about what that 
might mean. Careful to handle the dart by the edges, he 
picked it up and slipped it in his pocket. Maybe Webb would 
know what it was and what was in it. 

Standing up, he inspected the area and the car again, 
finding nothing more. AJ looked with him, but both men were 
silent, lost in their thoughts. 

Finally Harm stood up and looked out across the dark 
landscape. "Mac," his anguished whisper cut through the 
quiet night. "Where in hell are you?' 

AJ came and stood beside him, placing a steadying hand on 
his shoulder. 

End Part 9 

Part 10

JAG Headquarters
2150 Local

It was a tense group in the conference room. Webb, Sturgis, 
and Bud had joined the Admiral and Harm to
start an investigation into the whereabouts of Mac.   All 
the men maintained calm professional exteriors,
but the worry was evident in their eyes, especially Harm's. 
He was hanging onto that professional façade
by a hair.

The atmosphere in the room was overwhelming anger and 
determination. Anger that something like this could happen 
to one of their own, and someone they all cared about and 
respected. Determination to get to the bottom of this; to 
find Mac and punish whoever had taken her. Any other 
outcome was not even considered.

"So there you have it gentlemen. The police are doing a 
grid search of the surrounding area." He did not
say they were looking for a body; he couldn't bring himself 
to say that. "It's not much to go on, but it's
all we have."

"There's one more thing Admiral." Harm's stoic demeanor 
belied the raging emotions underneath. He
knew what the police were searching for as well as the rest 
of them did. "There's this." He pulled out the
dart he had found near Mac's car and laid it on the table. 
He had placed it in a plastic evidence bag. 
"I found it a few feet from Mac's car."

Harm noticed a look of surprise on Webb's face. "What is it 
Clay? Do you recognize it?"

Clay picked up the bag and carefully examined the dart 
inside. "It's a kind of dart normally used by the
CIA. I'm not aware of any other branch of the government 
that uses it. It's definitely not an easy thing for a 
criminal to obtain." 

"What's in it?" Harm was terse, stress making him short and 
to the point.

"Could be any number of tranquilizers. I'll take to one of 
our labs and get it analyzed." Clay put the
bag in his inside coat pocket.

"Admiral, what kind of case was Mac on in Baltimore?   
Could her disappearance be related to it?" Sturgis
asked. "And has she worked on any cases involving the CIA 
recently?"

"It was a simple DDO case. Nothing that should have 
triggered this kind of action. But we should follow
up on that. Why don't you and Bud look into it?" The 
Admiral replied. "And, no, she has not been involved
with the CIA recently, at least, not that I know of."   He 
shot an inquiring look at Webb. 

"None that I know of AJ, but I'll check into that."   Webb 
didn't look like he was concealing anything, but
you couldn't be sure.

AJ eyed him suspiciously before continuing. "In fact, we 
should do a review of all the Colonel's cases, at
least for the last year. Start with the most recent high-
profile cases, and work your way back. I don't
remember anything that could shed light on this, but 
double-checking could give us some type of lead. 
Harm, you can take the lead on that. Round up anybody you 
think might help."

There were nods of agreement all around and a round of  
"Yes Sir".

"Now, can anyone think of something else to follow up on?" 
There was a short silence as everyone tried to
think of anything else to help. 

AJ looked uncomfortable for a moment. Glancing at Harm in 
an almost apologetic manner, he continued his remarks. "As 
unpalatable as this is, we have to face facts. Mac has been 
working on several cases, and has court scheduled for 
tomorrow. I will reassign the cases in the morning. 
Whichever case you receive, ask for a continuance. 
Hopefully the Colonel will have returned by then."

Harm's face had paled, his expression stricken at the 
Admiral's words.

"We have to handle it Harm. Regardless of when we find Mac, 
business has to be taken care of." 

Harm said nothing, knowing the Admiral was right. But he 
didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.

In spite of the late hour, all of them got to work.   They 
all knew that the first 24 hours were the most
critical. The more time it took to find someone, the less 
likely you would find him or her alive.


Rural Virginia, about 80 miles from DC
0545 Local

The first thing Mac became aware of was that her head hurt, 
and she was nauseous. Opening one eye cautiously, she 
realized she was alone. The room spun as she sat up, but 
she forced herself anyway.

As her vision settled down, she took in the surroundings. 
She was in a small room with no windows. The small cot she 
was sitting on was the only item of furniture, but there 
was a toilet and sink in the corner. Other than that, there 
was nothing. The walls were bare of pictures, but there was 
one metal door in the opposite wall.

Checking her internal clock, she almost groaned when she 
realized the time. She had been out of it for
almost twelve hours. Harm would be going crazy by now. 

She was a little comforted by that thought. She knew Harm 
would not stop searching for her until she was
found. 

As her mind cleared of the effects of whatever drug she'd 
been given, she tried to remember what happened.  The last 
thing she remembered clearly was the blow out of her tire. 
Her brow furrowed in concentration, she thought back to the 
previous evening.

The blow out had forced her to pull over. She had gotten 
out of the car to check it when a car had
pulled up behind her. Aware that the road around her was 
deserted, she had started back to get in the car
when she heard a muffled gunshot and felt a sharp pain in 
her left arm. When her hand went to the ache
automatically, it had encountered some kind of dart, which 
she had pulled out and dropped on the ground.

Almost immediately, she had felt dizzy and had stumbled. 
She had managed to open the car door, but
before she could get in and lock the door two men had 
grabbed her. She'd tried to fight them, but the drug
was too strong. As they dragged her away, she tried to 
question them. The drug reduced her to incoherence, and 
they ignored her anyway.

As they threw her into the back seat of their car, she 
tried to look at their faces, to get some kind of idea
of who they were. They were completely unfamiliar. 

As everything faded to black, she remembered trying to 
figure out why they were doing this.

Again she looked around the room, looking for a way out. 
Getting up and crossing to the door, she tried to open it. 
As expected, it was locked. Sighing, she couldn't see any 
way out of this situation yet.

A sound behind the door caused her to back away and settle 
on her back on the bed. Closing her eyes, she
pretended to still be asleep, hoping to catch her captors 
unawares.

The door creaked as it opened, and the sound of footsteps 
neared her. Her heart pounding, she mentally prepared 
herself to attack.  

"Is she awake yet?" A man's voice sounded from across the 
room. Mac decided to wait until she was sure they were both 
close.

"Doesn't look like it. Are you sure of the dose that was in 
that dart?" The second man's voice was right
next to her.

More footsteps crossed the room. "Yeah, she'll be awake 
soon. She's a looker, isn't she?" Mac
definitely did not like the man's tone as he said that. She 
blocked off thoughts of them handling her
unconscious body; there was nothing she could do about that 
now.

The second man's voice answered him. "Yeah, but you know 
what the boss said. Look, but don't touch. And I, for one, 
am not going to cross him. He's not a good guy to have 
angry at you." Mac felt a moment's
relief at that revelation.

The first man started to argue when Mac sprang into action. 
Approximating where both men stood from the
sound of their voices, she leapt up on the bed. She hit one 
in the nose with the base of her palm, hearing
a satisfying crunch and a curse.  

The second man was startled, staring at her with his mouth 
open and eyes wide as she turned and gave him a roundhouse 
kick to the head. The first man was holding his bloody nose 
as he turned back to her. He
was too close for a kick, but she seized the opportunity to 
give him another punch in the nose, this time with her 
fist.

As both men were temporarily disabled, she made a dash for 
the door. It was still open, and she made a mad dash out of 
it.

Her brief freedom ended as abruptly as it began.   Sitting 
in a chair with a gun, was a third man. He
was pointing the gun at her. "Nicely done Colonel.  You 
almost made it."

Realizing that he had the upper hand, she stopped.  Another 
man she could not identify. "What the hell do
you want with me?"

The man was in his late forties and balding, but appeared 
more intelligent than the two thugs she had
just incapacitated. "You'll find out soon enough.  Please 
be so kind as to go back to your room. Now."

Faced with no other choice, she turned to go back into the 
little room as the two men stumbled out. "You
bitch!" The one with the bloody nose grabbed her arm and 
lifted his hand to hit her.

Unafraid, she glared at him.  

"Stinson." The man with the gun's quiet voice interrupted 
him. "Leave her alone."

"But she..." The second man was holding his head as he 
argued, a nice bruise forming on his cheek.

"Leave her alone." The man didn't raise his voice, but his 
authority was unmistakable.

Not another word was said as they shoved her roughly back 
in the room. She heard the definite click of the
lock.

Her adrenaline still pumping, she paced the room anxiously. 
"What the hell did they want?"


JAG Headquarters
0630 Local

Harm, Bud, and Sturgis were seated around the conference 
room table, quietly going through files.   Stacks of files 
covered the tables, but none of them had given them any 
viable leads.
One short