The sharp knock on his office door brought his head up. Mac was standing there, her face closed and drawn.

"Can I come in?" she asked. "Thanks," she stated, walking in without waiting for him to answer.

"You’re…welcome," Harm answered. "What’s up, Mac?"

His eyes swept over her appearance. The lines of her body were rigid – like she was prepared for an attack. Her pretty mouth was set in a flat line and there were dark circles under her eyes. Harm knew if anyone looked close enough, they’d find matching ones under his eyes.

"The next time you have something you want to tell me, Commander, I suggest you do it yourself instead of sending Jordan to do it for you."

The sharp, cold words hit him like a slap in the face. Stunned by her verbal attack, he sat back in his chair. Then coming to life, he rose to his feet and came toward her.

"What are you…?" he began.

She didn’t give him a chance to finish. "That was a low blow even for you," she accused and turned to walk back out of the office.

There wasn’t anyone else in yet so Harm followed her out into the bullpen. He grabbed her upper arm and pulled her around to face him.

"What are you talking about, Mac?" he demanded.

"Like you don’t know," she scoffed, trying to pull her arm from his grasp.

"I don’t," he repeated flatly. "Why don’t you enlighten me?"

Mac stopped her struggles for an instant and searched his face. She could see the beginning of his anger but he looked like he honestly didn’t know what she was talking about.

"Let go of me, Harm," she ordered, her voice a little quieter.

He released her and she dropped her arms to her sides, fists clenched. "Jordan came to see me last night. To tell me to stay away from you outside of this office."

His mouth literally dropped open. "What?"

Now, Mac was beginning to experience the first seeds of doubt. There was no way he could have known. The expression on his face said it all. "She ordered me to discourage any personal contact with you so that the two of you could begin building your future together."

"Why that lying little…" he broke off abruptly. His eyes narrowed on her face. "And you believed her?"

Mac crossed her arms over her chest defensively. "You haven’t exactly been a wealth of warmth and comfort lately," she retorted. She knew she was being unreasonable but couldn’t seem to stop herself.

"I would never have had anyone do something like that. You, of all people, should know me better than that, Mac. How could you even…" he stopped and suddenly he looked defeated.

Mac watched him mentally and physically pull himself up straight. He schooled his face into a blank mask of indifference and glared down at her. "I don’t know what to say. I’m disappointed, I guess. That you would think I’d do something like that…" he shook his head slightly. "I guess it doesn’t matter now. I have work to do. Excuse me."

He turned away from her and started back into his office. That was it? He wasn’t going to yell at her?

Oh, God, what had she done?

Quickly, she followed him. "Harm, wait. I’m sorry, it’s just that…"

"It doesn’t really matter, Mac. You’ve already told me what you thought. Now, I have work to do," he stated coldly and closed his office door.

Mac felt remorse wash over her in great waves. She’d just made a terrible mistake by letting her own confusion and jealousy get the best of her. She lifted her hand with the intent to knock but hesitated. It was clear he didn’t want to speak to her. Maybe she should give him a little time to cool off.

Determined to sulk in private, Harm closed all the blinds on his office windows, shutting out the rest of the staff. Sighing deeply, he went over to the window and stared out at the early morning blue sky. Things would be so much easier right now if he were up in a Tomcat. His life was not going well at all these days. It seemed hard to believe not that only a week ago he was in the pits of Russia looking for Mac. That he’d been in agony wondering if he would find her alive. Now they had regressed so much in only a few shorts days that they were at each other’s throats.

Distracted, he walked around his office. Normally he felt comfort in these confines. With the family pictures on the wall and some of his awards. Not so today. He only felt restless and edgy. Trapped. Mac’s accusations kept repeating in his head, haunting him. How could she ever believe him capable of such meanness? And whatever had possessed Jordan to do such a thing? Rage swept him momentarily. He was going to have a long heart-to-heart with Commander Parker but that would have to come later when he sorted out how he felt. Days ago he’d been sure he knew. Now he was sure of nothing.

Mac seemed to want nothing to do with him. His mind flashed back to the night he took her home after the kiss they’d shared. She hadn’t said a word in the car and she only grudgingly allowed him to carry her suitcase up to her apartment. He remembered their words.

"Mac, I’ll talk to Jordan. Let me…"

"She should be your first concern, Harm. You should have called her days ago," she answered, cutting him off.

"But what about…" he wanted to ask her ‘what about us’ but his pride kicked in and pressed his lips together. "We should talk, Mac," he told her instead.

"I don’t know what about. We’ve just been through a horrible situation, Harm. That’s all. Chalk it up to momentary insanity."

This had stunned him. He thought he knew her better than that. Hell, she knew him better than anyone – including Jordan. He was sure he hadn’t mistaken the welcome in her eyes when he began touching her there on his couch. And she’d kissed him back so lovingly, putting her heart into it. No, he couldn’t be wrong about the way she felt. She was running from him. He knew it as sure as he was standing here but what he didn’t know was how to stop her.

Thoughtfully, he reached out and picked up a picture he had of her on his desk. Jordan had questioned why he had a picture of his partner on his desk – a place usually reserved for family members.

Harm had never answered her. Truth was, he had little things like this all around him. There was another picture of her next to his bed at home. And one of them together on the little window over the kitchen sink. And a bigger one sitting on a shelf behind his desk in the front room. This particular picture was his favorite. The one next to his bed was a duplicate of it. It had been taken not long after they’d become partners at a NATO ball they’d attended as protection for the Romanian King and his daughter.

It was the first night he’d ever seen her ‘glammed up’ as she called it. A tiny smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. It was also the first time he’d ever gotten to dance with her – bring her close to him. When she’d first walked in the room and filled his vision, he’d all but drooled on his mess dress. She was simply stunning. The black dress she wore was strapless save for one band of material that went over one shoulder. Her dark had been slicked back, her makeup a little darker for the event. Her perfume had been heady and enticing, clouding his senses. That was when he realized his feelings for her went beyond that of a partner. And he was pretty sure hers were already doing the same, as well. Especially when she told him he could at least act like he didn’t think of her as a sister. He’d made it clear to her that a sister was the last thing he thought about her. She seemed surprised when he told her that.

But that was a long time ago. Sometimes it felt like a lifetime. He had a hard time remembering sometimes just how long they’d been friends. They were so close he couldn’t remember what it felt like before he’d had her. As least they had been close. Now he feared they might have lost her forever because he had no idea how to get it back. His finger smoothed over her image under the glass. She was looking at something only she could see, her eyes watchful and direct, her full lips pursed in just a hint of a smile. A seductive smile if he ever saw one. He’d always wondered what she was looking at when the photographer took the picture. Drawing in a slow, even breath, he went around and sat down in his chair, still looking at the picture.

He wished he could tell her all the things he was thinking of. He had started to a dozen times but something always seemed to get in the way. Lately she cut him every time he tried. There wasn’t anyone else he could really talk to. And this was so private – just between the two of them. Thoughtfully, he set the picture down and pulled his notepad over in front of him. Picking up his pen, he twirled it between his fingers for a moment, studying her face. Then he started writing.

Oh, Mac, where do I begin to talk to you? We’ve never had a problem communicating before but suddenly it seems like we can’t even exchange hellos. How did we get to this point? A week ago I was holding you in my arms and kissing you. A week ago I never wanted to be away from you. I wanted to keep you so close a ray of light couldn’t come between us. And now a week later when we aren’t even speaking, that’s what I still want.

A week ago I felt like the King of the mountain. I had everything. A job I love, a CO I would die for, two junior officers that are more like family to me than anyone I’ve ever known and… and you, Sarah. Most important of all, I had you. The one thing I want more than anything else in my life is you. But, now – this morning – with harsh words between us, I feel like the biggest fool in the world standing on the littlest hill. Everything that I rejoiced in a week ago is unraveling at my feet. Unraveling like so much string wrapped in a ball. An unraveled King of the mountain. That makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it? But you always make sense of what I say, Mac. You make sense of things when I don’t understand them myself.

I wonder if I ever stop to tell you that? Do I tell you how much you mean to me? Do I tell you how grateful I am for all the times you’ve stood by me? All the times you’ve supported me, held me up, urged me to keep going. To keep seeking the truth, the justice. Did I thank you for going with me to Russia? To search for my father and uncover the truth? You risked your life and your career for me. Even though I desperately tried to talk you out of going. I didn’t want anything to happen to you. But at the same time I wanted you with me. I want you with me all the time – every second, every minute, every day. There’s a place for you in my heart, Mac. And there’s a place for me in yours. I feel it inside. One day we’re going to match up those two places. I won’t let you go this easily. Not when I’ve waited my whole life to find you.

The End