If asked later to recount all that happened – none of them would have been too clear on the details. Shots were being fired from all directions and right in the middle of it came the rescue team from the Kitty Hawk. Two Pave Lows swooped down like specters. Ropes were dropped and the team members hit the ground running as they slid down, guns drawn. Harm lost track of it all. His one and only concern was getting to Mac. He reached her side and scooped her up in his arms, running hell bent for leather to the trees. Once behind their safety, he lowered her to ground. Leaving the rest of the brothers to cover their position, King ran over and dropped to his knees on the opposite side of Mac.

There was blood everywhere. Panicked, Harm lifted her shirt and found the gaping wound in her chest. Quickly, he stripped off the flannel shirt he had on and wadded it up against the wound, pressing down hard. Bending over her, he pressed his ear to her chest, vainly listening for a heartbeat.

"God, no," he breathed, lifting his head and looking down at her.

Hands grabbed him from behind and started to pull his away from her. Harm struggled against them.

"Move back, Commander, so we can see to her," A voice commanded.

"Get your hands off of me!" Harm snarled, jerking out of the man’s grasp.

Strangely enough, the man obliged but Harm was unaware. His attention was focused solely on the prone figure before him. Bending over again, he searched for a pulse on Mac’s neck.

There was no sign of life from her. Tilting her head back, he opened her mouth and covered it with his own, gently blowing air into her lungs. That done, he pressed several times on her chest.

"Come on, baby. Come on, Mac. Don’t you give up on me now. Do you hear me, Marine? Don’t you dare die on me!" he ranted, blowing into her mouth again.

As the members of the militia group were rounded up and subdued, the men gathered close by, the McKenzies and the two Tomcat pilots, gathered around. The desperate Commander had tears streaming down his face as he worked frantically on his partner, yelling at her to open her eyes. His churning emotions reached out to all of them, drawing them into the agony he was feeling as he cursed at Mac.

"Come on, Sarah. Come on, we’re so close. Open your eyes, damn it!"

Harm slid one arm beneath her and lifted her into his arms, pressing her close against his chest. Rocking her gently, he stroked her face with trembling hands.

"I know you can hear me, Mac. You can’t leave me like this. Do you hear me? You can’t leave me. We’re not through yet, understand? We have so much left to do. Damn it, Mac, fight! Don’t give up!"

Harm was openly sobbing now, his tears leaving wet tracks down his cheeks. Everyone around them watched but they went unnoticed by the Commander. Even the crew members of the rescue team held still, afraid to think that Mac might already be gone. Harm touched her lips and then her closed eyes.

"I love you, Mac. I love you so much. Please, don’t leave me." His voice was low and so agonized.

A spurt of anger flared through his brain and he shook her roughly. Her head lolled against his shoulder. He shook her again, harder this time.

"Damn you, Sarah MacKenzie! Wake up!"

Without thinking, Harm thumped her chest with his fist. He hit her again and again, his chest heaving with fury at her unresponsiveness. King finally made a move forward to intervene. At the exact same instant, Mac’s eyes opened and her body lunged upward as she gasped for a breath of air. Stunned into stillness, his hand upraised, Harm stared down at her.

"Mac?" he croaked.

"Harm?" Mac clutched at his shirtfront, her eyes wide. "Oh, God, hurts… so bad. Harm… help me…" Her bloody hands tried to get to the wound in her chest. "Don’t let…me…die!" she gasped, her breathing coming in painful wheezes.

"You’re not gonna die, Mac. I won’t let you. I’m gonna get you to the hospital right now. I promise. Just hang on," he murmured over and over again. He looked up at one of the Pave Low pilots. "We have to go now!" he ordered.

The young man nodded. Harm held Mac tightly and struggled to his feet. The small gathering parted and he ran toward one of the waiting helicopters, trying not to jostle her around too much. A minute later they were lifting off.

It was a rather unusual sight to see a military attack helicopter landing on the hospital helipad but the trauma team was standing by nonetheless to pick up the terrified Navy Commander and his partner. Harm placed her on the stretcher and ran alongside as they headed for the OR. A team of doctors was already standing by as they rushed off the elevator.

"I’m sorry, Commander Rabb. This is where you get off," A young nurse announced, putting a hand on his arm. "You can wait over there in the waiting room. As soon as we know anything we’ll be out to talk to you," she promised.

Harm nodded, dazed by all that had just happened. He went into the OR waiting room and leaned weakly against the wall. His gaze fell onto his bloodstained hands. It was everywhere. On his shirt. On his jeans. He knew if he looked in a mirror he would even find it on his face where Mac’s hands and landed on the helicopter. All he could see was the endless stream of red. Her cries still echoed in his ears. Her sobs as she begged him not to let her die. Emotion gripped his chest so tightly that for a moment he had to fight to breathe. He couldn’t make the sounds in his head go away.

"No… no… noooo….." he moaned, grasping his head with both hands.

He slid down the wall to the floor as the enormity of the situation overtook him. Sobs shook his broad shoulders. Agony had him firmly in hand now, shaking him around like a mere rag doll. Harm couldn’t even begin to get a grip on himself. He let the tears fall, pressing his hands against his face as if he could somehow hold it all back. His guts felt like someone had yanked barbwire through them. How could they have come to this again? Just two weeks ago it was another hospital and another life or death time. What had they done to deserve this? What? He looked up toward the ceiling, tears clouding his vision.

{Why are you doing this? He demanded of God. She doesn’t deserve this so why are you punishing her? If anyone should be punished it’s me. You should have let him shoot me. I deserved it. Oh, God, I deserved it! Please, don’t take her from me. I’m begging you with everything in me. God, please, don’t take her from me.}

A sob broke from his tightly clenched lips and he bent over slightly, closing in on himself. Every last shred of his pride, his dignity was gone. Vanished by one second of time when he wasn’t close enough to save her. She’d been so sure that no matter where they were, she was safe as long as she was with him. He was a miserable failure. He’d failed every loving promise he’d ever made to her. Failed her by not taking that bullet. Failed her by allowing things to come to this. All the things he wanted to tell her. There was so much… all he hadn’t said but desperately wanted to. Now he may never get the chance. Her life was hanging by one tiny, silken thread that could break any minute. Break and take with it all his hopes, his dreams, his very reason for living each day. It was all tied up in the one small woman fighting her life in the OR. How would he ever find the strength to go on if she didn’t make it? He might as well take a gun to his own head.

Sometime later, Harm managed to get a tight enough grip on himself to go call the Admiral. He answered on the first ring.

"Commander, how’s the investigation going?" A.J. asked pleasantly. He sounded like he was actually in a good mood and Harm hated what he had to tell him.

"Admiral…" he began and his voice cracked. He cleared his throat and started again. "I’m at Victoria Regional Medical Center. Mac’s been…" his voice broke again and he struggled to catch his breath. "She’s been shot," he bit out roughly.

"Shot? What happened, Rabb? How is she?" A.J. demanded.

"She’s still in surgery but it’s not good. She took one in the chest. I can’t…" he shook his head. "I can’t talk about it now."

"I’ll be there as soon as I can," A.J. promised.

Harm hung up the phone and went back to the waiting room, slumping over in a chair.

"Harm! How is she? Have you heard anything?"

Surprised to hear his name, Harm looked up and saw King and Storm McKenzie coming toward him at a run. Storm flung her arms around his shoulders, hugging tightly.

"We got here as fast as we could," she murmured, holding her against him like a mother would a small child.

Harm awkwardly hugged her back, surprised by the display of support. "How did you get here so fast at all?" he asked, looking between the two of them."

"King called and I flew up to get him. The others are bringing the horses and the trucks down but we didn’t want you to be alone," she stated simply.

Harm was touched by her softly murmured words and had to fight to hang onto the precious little bit of control he had. They sat down on either side of him. Harm glanced back up at King.

"You teach her to fly the helo?" he asked, trying to smile.

King nodded. "She loves it. Flies better than I do," the other man answered calmly. His face was devoid of any emotion but his eyes shown with pride at the mention of his wife and concern for the man facing him. "She’s going to be all right," he stated gently. "You have to believe that."

Harm nodded slowly. "I know. It’s just…"

"Just what?" Storm prompted, her green eyes soft with compassion.

Slowly and with halting emotion, Harm told them about her disappearance in Russia and the fight to get her back home. And of the stay in the hospital. Even without further details, the husband and wife pair recognized the deep love Harm had for his partner. Whether he realized it yet himself was a different matter. But it was apparent something had broken loose in him. It was unfortunate that facing death had a way of doing that to a person.

Storm reached out and covered his hand with her own. "I know there’s a lot more to this story, Commander, and I know there’s nothing that we can say to make this easier.

But please, believe one thing, we have all been through it and if you trust in each other you can get through. Don’t let another moment pass without telling her how you feel about her," she stated gently.

"I guess I’m really pretty obvious, huh?" Harm laughed hollowly.

"No," she murmured. "It’s just the shock."

If the minutes could pass any slower they would be going backward. Four and a half long hours had passed since they brought Mac in and there was still no word from the doctors working on her. Harm had nearly paced a hole in the carpet, unable to sit still for more than a few minutes. Or rest. Or have some coffee. Or a bite to eat. Or anything else that required any amount of rational effort. Storm and King had insisted on staying with him, promising that they wouldn’t leave him alone during this time no matter how much he protested to the contrary.

"Commander Rabb! Is there any word on the Major yet?"

Harm turned when he heard the Admiral’s voice and saw the older man come running into the waiting room.

Harm shook his head. "Nothing yet."

"What the hell’s taking so long? It’s been hours since you called me!"

Harm didn’t figure he really wanted an answer to that. Things like this took time no matter how much they wished for it to be over. "How did you get here so fast?" Harm asked.

"I went straight to the SecNav and pulled his chain. I came out on a Tomcat," A.J. grinned that funny little smile of his.

"Whatever works," Harm shrugged. "Admiral, this is the owner of the ranch where we were staying, King McKenzie. This is his wife, Storm. This is Admiral Chegwidden, our CO," he introduced.

"Admiral, it’s a pleasure, sir," King greeted warmly, shaking A.J.’s hand.

"Please, call me A.J. and the pleasure’s mine. Ma’am," he turned, shaking Storm’s hand as well.

"A.J.," she returned, smiling warmly.

"What happened up on that ridge, Commander?" A.J. asked quietly.

"Let’s sit down."

Starting with their arrival at the crash site, Harm relayed to him the events that led them to where they were now. The evidence he found around the Tomcat, the flood and the delay while the water receded and they dried out. Which explained the gash on his forehead to the Admiral. He talked about the smoke and what they realized when they came upon the camp. Harm had called Captain Hart for a team because they had the resources to get there immediately. Not so with the local law enforcement. A.J.’s eyes narrowed when Harm got to the part about trying to release Jackson and Turner. He was surprised to hear about the support of the McKenzie family – all though it was really not surprising since they were in various law enforcement positions.

His face never portrayed any emotion but he was also surprised anew by the support this family was showing. Two days ago they hadn’t known Commander Rabb and Major McKenzie from Adam and Eve. But they’d joined in from the start to help with the investigation, loaning their time, the horses and the guidance to find the crash site. They even risked their lives to save Harm and Mac from the floodwaters. And now, here was the big man himself waiting patiently for word on a woman he didn’t have any ties to. People like King and Storm restored his faith in the kindness of the human race.

"I know it was stupid for us to go in by ourselves," Harm muttered as he finished his story. "But I was afraid if we waited they might fold up and leave. They had to be concerned that more teams would come looking for Jackson and Turner. There were eight of us and I thought we would be able to get in and out without a problem. It’s my fault, Admiral, that she’s in there fighting for her life."

"Commander, blaming yourself won’t change what happened. I don’t blame you and I’m sure Mac won’t either. You did what you felt you had to under the circumstances. That’s the best anyone could ask of you." A.J. looked up at King and Storm. "I’m very grateful, Mr. McKenzie, for all of your help in this matter. You certainly went above and beyond what was being asked of you."

"We just wish there was more we could have done," King responded tightly.

"They did more than anyone else would have," Harm stated.

"Commander Rabb?"

They all turned and saw a tall, attractive man in green surgical scrubs. There were lines of exhaustion around his eyes and mouth as he pulled away his face mask. He came forward as Harm stood up.

"Dr. Corelli. Has Major MacKenzie’s family been notified?"

"She only has one remaining member and we aren’t able to reach him," Harm answered, referring to Matthew O’Hara. "I’m her partner and this is Admiral Chegwidden, her CO. How is she?"

"She’s going to be just fine," Dr. Corelli stated, smiling broadly.

For a moment, all Harm could do was stare at him. Surely he hadn’t heard correctly. "She’s going to be…" his voice cracked and he cleared his throat. "She’ll be all right?"

"Yes, Commander. The wound was serious but not life-threatening as we first thought. The bullet partially shattered one of her ribs and lodged in her right lung. It was collapsed, hence the hard time she had breathing. And she did lose a lot of blood. I can’t tell you exactly which thing may have saved her life but that is still alive is a miracle all by itself. A little more to either side and she would be dead. We repaired the damage and she’s being moved to Recovery. She’s going to have a long road ahead of her. At least two weeks in the hospital and a couple more at home after that. Would you like to see her when they get her settled?" he asked Harm.

"Yes," Harm answered instantly.

"I’ll send a nurse for you," the other man promised. "In the meantime, Commander, you look like hell. I’ll have of the nurses get you a shirt and show you a place to wash up," he offered, smiling to lessen the sting of his blunt observation.

Harm managed a smile and shrugged, knowing it was the truth. He did look like hell. "Thank you. This means more to me than you’ll ever know," he stated fervently, shaking Dr. Corelli’s hand.

A short time later, Harm was clean and changed and back in the waiting room. A young woman came in and called his name.

"Commander Rabb? Are you ready to see Major MacKenzie?"

"Definitely."

He left the others in the waiting room and followed the nurse to Recovery. He hesitated outside the door for a moment and the nurse smiled at him.

"She’ll be out of it for a few hours at least and you might be surprised by the way she looks but she really will be okay," The nurse assured him.

Harm nodded and went in the room. There was only a single light burning in the room in the far corner, throwing long shadows across Mac. He went over and lowered his tall frame into the chair at her side. The young nurse had been right. She did look bad. Her pretty face was swollen and there was a multitude of tubes and IVs strapped to her body – including a tube in her chest. She was bandaged tightly - like a mummy - around her torso with only a light sheet covering her. They’d cleaned her up, removing the blood and grime from her skin and hair.

Harm leaned forward on the bed and picked her hand, pressing it between both of his. He looked her for several long minutes, studying her features. The long sweep of her dark lashes against her pale cheeks. The twin spots of color along her high cheekbones. The delicate curve of her full lips. She was hooked up to a ventilator and the pieces of tape crisscrossed over her mouth and nose. His eyes trailed downward. Her shoulders and arms were bare, her skin smooth and unblemished and if his memory served him, silky to his touch.

It scared him to see her lying there like she was. With all the wires and tubes. The hiss and beep of the machines that helped make the way easier for her until she was strong enough to do it on her own. He looked down at the hand he held. It was slender and small against his own broader palm. Her nails were short and unpolished, functional as she always called them. He smoothed his fingers across her palm, feeling a couple of tiny ridges. The butt of her gun sometimes did that. He lifted her hand and pressed his mouth against her knuckles.

Pressure mounted behind his eyes with such force that it surprised him. After all the long hours of waiting through her surgery and now seeing her like this…. Harm gave in to the feeling and didn’t even try to hold the tears at bay. He laid his face in the palm of her hand against the side of the bed and wept bitterly. Even the relief that she was alive couldn’t sweep away all the grief he felt at having put her in this position. Or all the weeks of tension between them. And the hard words they’d exchanged in his office. She tried more than once to apologize and he just kept brushing her off. That blasted away every promise he’d ever made to her to support her no matter what. All the times they talked about always being open with each other.

Who was running from whom?

He was. His broad shoulders heaved with silent sobs and with the effort to breathe. He was such a fool. A fool to ever think he deserved this beautiful, kind woman who had more courage and strength than anyone he’d ever known. She was worth more than ten of him put together. Lifting his head, he rubbed his burning eyes with his free hand. He looked down at her, blinking to clear his vision. Easing up a little, he moved his chair closer to her head and leaned forward. Tenderly, he smoothed his hand over her hair, feeling the cool strands slide through his fingers.

"I don’t know if you can hear me or not, Mac. I hope you can but it doesn’t matter because I’m gonna tell you this again when you wake up. I love you, Major. I love you more than anything I’ve ever loved anyone or anything. And this is the last time I’m going to come face to face with losing you without you knowing how I feel. We’re going to talk when you’re well enough for me to take you home. We’re going to talk about a lot of things and then we’re going to make some decisions about where we go from here. Got that, Marine? No more hiding or beating around the bush."

"I know you’re glad to be going back to work, Major, but remember, you must take it easy for at least another two weeks or so. I don’t want to see you back in here with a relapse."
Mac nodded dutifully at Dr. Strait.

The older man smiled and patted her hand. "As good as it is to see both of you, I hope it will be a long time before you’re back in my care," he teased, looking between Mac and Harm. "This is becoming a habit with us."

The past month had been long and had taken a toll in some way or another on everyone. A week after her surgery at Victoria Regional Medical Center, Admiral Chegwidden arranged for Mac to be transferred to Bethesda where she would be closer to home. It also allowed for himself and Bud and Harriett to take turns relieving Harm who was extremely reluctant to leave her side for more than a few minutes. He even took work to the hospital with him.

Harm had insisted she come home with him, at least for a few days. She ended up staying with him for two weeks.

A few minutes later they were in the SUV headed home. Harm didn’t seem to be up to talking so she laid her head back against the seat and stared out the window. The last several days with him hadn’t been exactly –strained – but things were different between them. She couldn’t put her finger on it exactly. They talked all the time but not about anything remotely private or important. The investigation in Texas was wrapped up. The FBI took over the apprehension and processing of the militia group. Lts. Jackson and Turner returned to active duty no worse for wear after the crash and their kidnapping. The most surprising thing in the past two weeks had been a call and a huge bouquet of roses in several different colors from the McKenzie family. Mac was moved to tears when she read the card over their thoughtfulness.

As for her partner… well, she couldn’t complain about his behavior. He’d been just wonderful with her. Patient when she was chafing under the restraints placed on her.

Tender and gentle in helping her check her dressings and do all the little day to day things she couldn’t do by herself. He kept her entertained, fed her continuously and helped her do the exercises the physical therapist had her on. A couple of days earlier, he even started walking with her since she wasn't able to run yet.

But all traces of the tender romance she thought was blossoming between them seemed to have disappeared. All the looks and the touches… his nearness. She missed it more than could have ever guessed she would. After all they’d been through in the past month or so, she wasn’t sure what to make of any of this herself. She could only imagine how he was feeling. There was so much between them left unsaid. She only hoped the gap between them hadn't widened into a gulf they wouldn't be able to cross.

This was the last night she would be staying with him. He knew she was missing her own place and now that Dr. Strait had cleared her for a return to duty, she wanted to go home. Harm didn’t want her to go.

He cleared away their dinner dishes, reluctant to go sit with her. Having her here with him these past weeks had been the sweetest taste of Heaven he could have known. His promise in the hospital was not forgotten but he hadn’t found the words to talk to her yet so he pushed it to the back of his mind. All this closeness was getting to him. Having her so near but keeping his distance… Harm shook his head slightly and sighed.

Mac came up behind him just in time to catch the sigh and the head shake. She frowned as she studied the long lines of his back. "Are you all right?" she asked softly.

Harm jerked around in surprise. "I’m fine," he answered shortly.

Mac was taken aback. "Okay, just asking," she muttered.

"I’m sorry. I guess I’m a little out of sorts tonight," he returned, sighing again and plunging one hand through his short hair.

"It seems like you’ve been out of sorts for several days. Is it because I’m here?" she questioned quietly.

She hit the nail on the head. Harm walked around to stand in front of her. "Not in the way you probably think," he murmured.

Mac gazed up at him, wishing with all her heart they could go back to the night he kissed her and start over. If she could do it again, she would never have left his arms.

"So it is because of me?" she persisted. "Are you uncomfortable with me here?"

Harm shook his hand and stepped a fraction of an inch closer. "No, Mac," he whispered very soft and low. "I’m not uncomfortable with you here. What I want is…" his voice trailed off for just a second. "What I want is this."

A second later his mouth was on hers and he was kissing her like it was the last thing he’d ever do. Stunned, Mac didn’t respond right away. His hands gripped her upper arms almost punishing. The fire that had been building between them blew its top, shattering all of the waiting, all of the dreaming, the hopes, the hesitation. It all disappeared with that one bruising kiss. Mac flung her arms around his shoulders and held on for all she was worth. Bending slightly, Harm wrapped one arm around her hips, bringing her up against him. He walked them to the bedroom, afraid to even turn loose of her for even a second for fear if she had any space she might change her mind and pull away.

Releasing her legs, Harm felt her body slide along his, heightening senses that were already in overload. He wanted everything to be perfect for her. Standing there in a faint patch of moonlight, he drew her to him, sliding his hands around to her back. Mac found herself surrounded by him, felt him everywhere - the brush of his hard thighs through her cotton dress, the wall of his chest meeting the tips of her breasts.

The sound of her zipper moving down its track was loud in the silence. Harm slid his hands inside the fabric, splaying them across her bare back and urging her forward. Their lips met on a sigh. Angling his head, he plied her lips gently with his, feeling their full moistness mold to his. His tongue played along the seam and she parted them beneath his touch, sighing into his mouth when she felt his tongue slide in. Before their lips parted, Mac’s dress and Harm’s shirt disappeared, leaving them both bare to the waist. Leaving her mouth, Harm trailed a leisurely path to her ear, smiling at the gasp she made when his teeth caught her earlobe. Releasing it, he flicked his tongue over the delicate shell, moving down to the smooth column of her neck. Mac let her head fall back, allowing him greater access to the lightly perfumed skin awaiting his touch, shivering when his lips and tongue left a path to the curve of her shoulder.

Easing her away from him, Harm lowered his head to the soft pillow of her breasts. Mac’s hands went to his head, holding him against her as his mouth moved against her. Bending slightly, Harm lifted her into his arms and took her to the bed, placing her in the center. He hesitated only long enough to remove his shoes before stretching out beside her. His mouth settled over hers again, kissing her deeply, taking his time. One broad hand caressed her body from head to toe, paying attention to all that lay in between. Mac arched her back slightly, offering herself up to him. Harm pushed her desire on, stroking, kneading, shaping her with his hands.

Their lips parted again and he shifted, pressing moist kisses to the valley between her breasts. He explored the silky skin on her stomach with the tip of his tongue, drawing a circle around her navel before dipping inside to tease her. Mac sighed deeply, her hands kneading reflexively at the bedspread. On his knees now, Harm ran his tongue along the edge of her vivid red bikini panties. Mac moaned, rising slightly off the mattress. Her eyes remained on what he was doing, wanting to share in everything that was happening between them.

She didn’t dare close her eyes and miss a second of this wonderful experience. Harm continued his foray down her legs, caressing them with his hands, kneading the muscles in her thighs, shaping the delicate curve of her calves. He lifted her right leg and tugged off her red high heel, tossing it to the carpet. A giggle escaped Mac when his thumb brushed against her sensitive instep.

"Tickles, doesn’t it?" he teased.

"A little," she admitted.

He did the same with the other foot before beginning his return journey. When he reached the edge of her panties, Harm slipped his fingers beneath the elastic and gently tugged on them. Shyness aside, Mac lifted her hips and he pulled the material free, tossing it to the carpet with their shoes. The sight of her bare body took his breath away. Sitting back slightly on his heels, Harm studied her with his eyes, not wanting to miss one inch of the body he was seeing completely nude for the very first time. Reverently, he reached out a hand but hesitated just short of touching her, curling his fingers into a first. After all the times he’d hoped and dreamed of this moment, he was almost afraid to reach out and touch now. Smiling, Mac reached out and caught his clenched fist. Tenderly she smoothed open his hand and brought his hand down to her stomach. Giving her one of the most tender smiles she’d ever seen, Harm slid his hands beneath her body and lifted her off the mattress. He kissed her deeply, sliding his tongue in and out of her mouth to simulate what their bodies would be doing later.

"You’re so beautiful,’ he murmured against her mouth.

Mac’s eyes were shining. "I’m glad you think so."

His hands around her body and picked up a trail that made her gasp. Soon she was squirming against him, her body moving against his in a counter rhythm. Mac felt the every nerve in her body tightening, responding to his ministrations. Her body hummed, wanting what he was giving her, wanting what would come after it. He brought her a wondrous summit and before she could even catch her breath or recover from the beautiful feelings in her body, she felt the press of Harm’s naked form, his hips settling between her legs. Mac raised herself slightly, reaching for his hands. Harm drew her into a sitting position and wrapped his arms around her tightly. He was still for several minutes, his heart thudding wildly against her breasts.

"Why did you stop?’ she whispered.

"I don’t want this to be over before it gets started," he grinned. "I want you so much that I don’t have any control," he murmured.

"I want you to feel like you’re making me feel," Mac whispered.

"Baby, if I felt any better I’d die on the spot. Just being here with you, touching you and loving you is all the pleasure I need. I want to take my time with you. We’ve waited a long time for this moment and I want it to last forever. And I don’t want to hurt you. If I do something you don’t like, you tell me, okay?"

Mac nodded her heart in her eyes. "I don’t want you to wait any longer, Harm," she demanded softly.

Lowering his head, Harm found her mouth and kissed her deeply, sliding his tongue into her mouth. Holding her close, he slowly lowered her to the mattress, sliding his hands down to the backs of her knees. And there was no more talking.

She came awake slowly. Several feelings came to her at once. His thumbs stroking the sensitive skin of her palms and the gentle abrasion of his hair-roughened legs against her own smooth ones - but the center of her focus was on the way their joining felt. Harm gazed deeply at her and smiled, brushing sweat-dampened strands of hair back from her flushed face.

"I love you," he whispered, smiling tenderly.

"I love you, too, Harm. So much. You make me feel so.... full," she said, her words tinged with awe. "I feel surrounded by you inside and out."

Harm smiled lovingly. "I feel that way, too. Like all the tiny, scrambled pieces of my life just fell together in one swoop."

"I want to stay like this forever with you. I don’t want the outside world to ever intrude again," Mac whispered against his mouth.

Harm rolled over on his back and brought her with him, their bodies still tangled together. One big hand stroked her bare back and the other one covered her hands where they rested on his chest. They lay there like that for several minutes and Mac heard him begin to hum under his breath. She held still and listened, almost holding her breath. Slowly, lovingly, he began to sing to her.

I was never alive,

'Til the day I was blessed with you,

When I hold you late at night,

I know what I was put here to do,

I turn off the world and listen to you sigh,

And I will sing my Angel's Lullaby.

Know I'm forever near,

The one you can always call,

Right now all you know to fear,

Are the shadows on your wall,

I'm here close enough,

To kiss the tears you cry,

And I will sing my Angel's Lullaby.

So tell me how to stop the years from racing,

Is there a secret someone knows?

I'll never catch all the memories I'm chasing,

I'll never be ready to let go.

And when the world seems cold,

And you feel that all of your strength is gone,

There may be one tiny voice,

Your reason to carry on,

And when I'm not close enough,

To kiss the tears you cry,

You will sing your Angel's Lullaby.

Let this be our Angel's Lullaby…

The beautiful, loving words filled Mac’s heart and tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. She didn’t think she’d ever heard anything so beautiful. Pulling herself up slightly, she kissed him deeply, pouring everything she had into the meeting of their mouths. Harm kissed her, wrapping his arms around her slender form, drawing her up to him.

"I love you," she whispered tearfully. "Thank you for that."

"You’re welcome, Sarah. From the bottom of my heart."

Sometime later, Mac stirred around, ill at ease. She raised herself up on one elbow and looked down at Harm’s sleeping countenance. He was so handsome and she loved this man more than anything else in her life. That was why she had to do something that would probably make him hate her. She’d been awake for the last hour or so, thinking about this night between them. About it being the single most wonderful hours of her life. They’d made love over and over until they were exhausted and yet they still craved the taste and feel of each other. She’d never known such a powerful connection with another man. Harm reached inside her like no one else ever had before or would do again.

Cautiously, she slid from the bed and dressed quickly, careful not to make a sound. Picking up her shoes, she tiptoed out to the living room and called for a cab. Her suitcase was already near the door. Sitting down at his desk, she picked up a pen and slid his notepad over in front of her. Blinking to clear her vision, she began to write.

Oh, Harm, how can I even begin to do what I know I have to? I love you so much that I’d rather cut off my arm than be without you, but I don’t see any other way. I’m terrified of you.

I’m terrified of how out of control I feel. Of how I lose touch with all my senses and my thoughts when we’re together. I lose sight of who I am. I’m the worse possible woman in the world you should love. After all I’ve been through and all I’ve done. My Admiral’s Mast and Article 32, the mess I made with Chris and Dalton and John. How could I ever ask you to put all that aside? I could ruin your career. The career you’ve worked so hard for that you’re so damn good at. I can’t possibly ask you to and I couldn’t live with myself.

Leaving you is the hardest, most painful thing I’ll ever do. No matter what, you must always believe in your heart how much I love you. How much I’ve always loved you. I will go on loving you until I draw my last breath. The beautiful hours making love with you will be what sustains me for the years to come. They’ll have to because I will never want anyone but you. I don’t want any other man to make love to me but you. For all these years you’ve been my strength, pushing me on when I felt I couldn’t go another step. You’ve supported me, guided me, stood beside me when no one else would. You’ve brought light and understanding and compassion to a heart that has only known darkness and fear. And you’ve brought love to a woman who thought she would never find a man to love her for who she was inside. Who would accept all of her fears and worries onto his own broad shoulders. You’ve been that man to me, Harm. I can’t….

A tear splashed onto the paper, marring the ink. Mac squeezed her eyes shut tight and pressed her fist to her mouth to hold back a sob. Blinking rapidly, she tried to finish.

I can’t imagine what I’m going to ever do without you but I know you’ll be better off without me. You may not realize it now but I promise you it’s true. I know somehow I’ll find a way to go on. I’ll have to but know that my broken heart will always be with you. Forever and ever.

I love you, Harmon Rabb Jr.

Forever, Sarah

Pressing her trembling lips together, she folded the letter in half and took it over to the coffeepot where she propped it up. Looking out the window, she saw her cab. Taking one last look around, she went to the door and picked up her purse and suitcase. She hesitated for just an instant. Everything in her heart went dead and still, like a tiny candle flame being extinguished. This was it and if she didn’t go now, she would never be able to go at all. She turned and looked in the direction of the bedroom.

"Goodbye, Harm," she whispered into the darkness. "I love you."

Wakefulness came slowly. Harm stretched a little, moving out his arm for Mac. The space beside him was empty. Sitting up, he rubbed a hand over his tired eyes and listened for some sound of her. His apartment was silent. Getting up, he slipped into his robe and went into the main room.

She was gone.

"Oh my God," he whispered to the still room.

She couldn’t have just up and left. {But she did, the voice in his head whispered.} He went into the kitchen and that’s when his gaze found the envelope. Slowly, he picked it up and pulled out the single sheet. With growing horror, he read her loving words of goodbye. Numbly, he sank to the floor as his knees gave out. This couldn’t be happening. Not now.

"No, no, no, no," he whispered agonizingly. "You can’t leave me like this, Mac. Not after all we shared last night." He looked at the note again. "I won’t you let you run from me," he stated into the still apartment. "I won’t let you through all we’ve worked for away."

As purpose took hold of him, he rose and rushed into the bedroom to dress. A few minutes later he was one his way to her apartment.

The was no sign of the shiny, new red corvette in the parking lot. After waiting impatiently for the elevator, Harm raced down the hall to her apartment and used the spare key she’d given him to go straight in. Her apartment looked the same as it had when he was there to pack her suitcase. He went to the bedroom and looked around. The cold reality hit him like a ton of bricks. She was really gone. All of her personal toiletries were gone from her vanity. A few strides took him to the closet. It was almost empty and her suitcases were gone.

Distraught, Harm sank down on the edge of the bed. He didn’t understand any of this – least of all her letter. If she loved him that much and believed he loved her then what was so horrible they couldn’t work it out together? Why did she feel the need to run? He sat there for several long moments, trying to assemble things in his mind. There were a number of places she might go.

{I guess I should start with the Admiral. Since her intent to leave is so obvious, she must have contacted him about coming in to work. Getting up, he ran out of the apartment and down to his car. The Admiral should still be at home.

"Somehow I’m not surprised to find you on my doorstep this morning, Commander. Come in."

"I’m sorry to disturb you so early, sir," Harm apologized, following his superior into the living room.

"Major MacKenzie beat you to it, Harm. Have a seat."

"Mac was here?" Harm asked, a little surprised but it wasn’t unexpected.

"She’s requested use of her personal days. All 53 of them." It was evident the Admiral wasn’t happy about the situation.

"Did…" Harm cleared his throat. "Did she say why?"

A.J. shook his head. He could still recall every word of his conversation with Mac – even though she’d shown up at five am. Her request for personal leave effective immediately had thrown his for a loop.

"What’s wrong, Mac? I know a lot’s happened lately but you haven’t given any indication you weren’t ready to return to work. Does this have anything to do with Commander Rabb?"

Mac’s face hadn’t belied any emotion at his words but her grip on her purse turned her knuckles white and she wouldn’t meet his eyes. "This has everything to do with me, sir. I have some things I need to work out and I can’t do that here. I know saying I’m sorry doesn’t begin to cover things. And I know I’m letting you down, Admiral. For that, I truly am sorry but this something I have to do. I don’t feel I have any other choice," she’d stated softly, her anguish evident to him.

"There’s always a choice, Major."

"Not this time, sir. I’ll accept whatever your decision is but please believe I wouldn’t have asked this of you if I had any other option available."

"Are you planning on resigning you commission, Mac?"

His question hadn’t been of any surprise to her.

"I don’t know yet, sir. That’s part of what I need to think about," she answered honestly

A.J. had stared her long and hard. She didn’t look well and there was deep sadness in her brown eyes. Regardless of her earlier answer, he was sure it had something to do with her partner.

"Very well, Major. I expect to hear from you on a regular basis, though, and to be informed immediately if you come to a decision that will affect your position at JAG."

"Yes, sir," she nodded, rising to leave.

He walked her to the door. "Sarah?"

Mac turned, a little surprised at his use of her given name.

"I’ve learned over the years to be grateful for all the good things that come to our lives. Recently, I’ve been the most fortunate to have the four of you at JAG. You’re the closest thing to a family I’ve got. It’s my fondest desire that you all find happiness. I see that with Bud and Harriett but I’d also like to see it for you and the Commander. Now before you go all prickly on me, Major, I may be old but I’m not blind. I’m sure you already know that running away won’t solve anything. But you have to make up your own mind about that, Mac. And for all of our sakes, you do it soon. Face your feelings for the Commander."

Mac took a deep, slow breath and faced him squarely. "I love him, Admiral," she stated simply. "I don’t think there will ever be another man for me but Harm. But right now I can’t take that risk."

"Call when you get where you’re going, Major, and please, try to put your feelings in order. I don’t like to see my people upset."

"Thank you, Admiral. Your support means a lot to me. Thank you for understanding."

Now as he sat here staring at the other half of the best damn team he ever had, he wondered what kind of end was going to come of all this.

"Admiral?" Harm prompted. "Are you all right? I lost you for a minute there."

A.J. quirked one corner of his mouth up. "Back to your question, Commander. No, she didn’t say where she was going. Only that she needed some time off to sort some things out," A.J. answered, watching him closely.

Harm flattened his mouth into a grim line. "Admiral, I’d like to request a couple of days of personal leave."

A.J. cocked and eyebrow. "You want to leave, too? There an epidemic around here, Commander?"

"No, sir. Just something I have to do."

"Funny, that’s what the Major said, too. Granted, Commander. Today is Tuesday. I will expect you in the office next Monday without fail."

"Aye, aye, sir."

This was the only place he knew of to look for her and it was a dead end. Colonel Matt O’Hara’s house was closed up and still – untouched since he’d been sent to Leavenworth. Helplessness filled Harm. Helplessness like he’d never known. He stood in the open door of the rental car and slammed his fists down against the top. Damn her! Damn her for running out on him like this. For leaving him to face the memories of their one and only night together. And damn her for making such a major decision with any regard to his feelings or opinions.

Harm dropped his head forward into his hands, feeling tears building again. Dragging in a deep breath, he lifted his head and stared off into the distance – ruthlessly tamping down his emotions.

No more crying.

The road to the ranch was just as easy to find as the first time she’d been here. Mac was a little apprehensive about showing up unannounced but the invitation to come anytime had been issued by the whole family. This was the only place Mac knew of where Harm would never think to look for her. If in fact he would bother to look at all. Perversely, she wanted to hope he would but maybe… maybe he wouldn’t think her worth it.

She turned onto the last stretch and a minute later the house came into view. Slowly, she drove the ‘vette up into the yard and climbed out. A second later Storm came bounding out the front door.

"Mac!" she cried. "Oh my God! I can’t believe it’s you! How are you?"

The younger woman threw her arms around Mac, laughing and talking all at once. Mac laughed at the redhead’s exuberance and returned her embrace. This was a bit of a novelty to a woman who didn’t have any female friends except for Harriett.

"Better. The doctor cleared me to return to duty two days ago," Mac explained.

Storm pulled back and studied her other woman’s face. "But you’re here instead. Something happened, didn’t it? With Harm?"

Her astuteness astounded Mac. "Am I that transparent?" she asked, laughing to cover her embarrassment.

Storm smiled and linked her arm through Mac’s, steering her toward the house. "No, you’re not transparent at all. But I watched you two together and I’ve been there myself. We can talk later, though, about what brought you here. I’m just glad to see you. Are you in a hurry to be anywhere? Can you stay a few days?"

Mac laughed at the endless questions. "I’m glad to see you, too. No, I’m in no hurry and yes, I’d love to stay if it’s not any trouble."

Storm rolled her eyes and laughed. "Trouble? Puh-leeze! Not in this house. The rest of the family is all spread out but King and Ellie will be glad to see you."

Storm led her into the kitchen where the scent of fresh bread nearly overwhelmed her. Ellie was standing at the counter kneading more dough, her back to them.

"Ellie," Storm called her name.

Ellie turned and her face broke into a broad smile when she caught sight of Mac. Grabbing a towel for her hands, she crossed the room.

"Mac! It’s good to see you, honey! How are you?"

Mac found herself engulfed in another welcoming embrace. "I’m good, Ellie. It’s real good to see you, too," she returned.

"Are you staying for awhile?" Ellie questioned.

you had breakfast?"

"I ate early this morning before I left my hotel. Thank you for…"

"Who’s fancy little car is that in the drive? Were we expecting…" King demanded as he stepped in the back door. He broke off abruptly when he saw their guest. "Mac! Hey, little girl! What brings you to our neck of the woods?" he asked, sweeping her up in a hug.

Mac’s head was spinning from all their questions and greetings. She’d wondered briefly after returning to D.C. if the stay here had just been a once in a lifetime fluke but it was exactly as she remembered.

Mac held his arms for a just a second as he set her back on her feet. "I needed to get away for awhile. Some place where I wouldn’t be bothered," she murmured.

King’s expression grew serious and he searched her eyes. "Then this is the place. You’re welcome as long as you like," he stated

Mac smiled softly. "Thank you." She looked at the other two women. "Thank you all. I wasn’t sure what to expect showing up out of the blue like this. I didn’t know it…" she broke off and shrugged.

Storm crossed to her and linked their arms. "I told you in the hospital that I wanted you to come back sometime when you could stay and weren’t working. I never expected it to be this soon but I’m very glad you’re here."

"Commander, you’re night vision isn’t impaired. I see no reason why you couldn’t make a full return to flying."

Harm gaped at the eye doctor, sure he’d heard him wrong. "But they diagnosed me with night blindness. It was the reason I had to change my designator to JAG," he explained.

"It was a misdiagnosis, Commander. All you have is a little retinal scarring. I can take care of that right here in the office with a laser procedure," the doctor returned calmly.

"Are you telling me there’s a chance I could return to carrier flying full time?" Harm asked, almost afraid to hope.

"There is some risk involved but I believe in your case it’s minor. I’ve treated many cases like this and yours is fairly low-key. I have every confidence we can restore your vision to 20/20."

Harm blew out a slow breath he didn’t realize he was holding and sat back in the chair. "Well," he stated after a moment. "How soon do I have to let you know?" he asked.

The doctor laughed. "That’s up to you, Commander. I’ll have the nurse send some literature home with you on the procedures and the risks involved. As soon as you make a decision, give me a call."

They both stood and Harm shook the doctor’s hand. "Thank you. This is… this is quite a surprise."

"Take your time. There’s no need for you to rush into a decision."

"Thank you."

Outside in his car, Harm sat for several minutes, staring into the distance. He still couldn’t believe it was true. There was a chance what he’d dreamed of his whole life could be his again. Slowly, he started the car and headed back to JAG.

"I don’t believe I heard you correctly, Commander!" The Admiral barked.

"I want to change my designator, sir. It’s all there in the letter. I’ve been conferring with an eye doctor the past couple of days. My condition was initially misdiagnosed and he was able to correct some retinal scarring I had with an office laser procedure. I have a chance to go back to flying now," Harm explained in a rush.

"Commander, do you realize what this would do to your career? This

is a major step back from all that you’ve worked so hard for here at JAG. Have you thought this through? Considered all the ramifications?"

"Yes, sir, I believe I have. Admiral, it was never my choice to leave flying. It’s in my blood and all I’ve ever wanted to do. I was never able to have closure with that part of my life. Now I have a chance to go back and do it again," he stated, trying to make the Admiral understand.

"If you pass the physical," The Admiral pointed out.

"I’ll pass the physical, sir," Harm assured him.

"Are you sure you’ve given this enough thought, Commander?"

"Yes, sir. It’s all I’ve been thinking about, Admiral. I love being here at JAG and I think I’ve made a very good life for myself but I need to do this. I need to know if I still can."

"Is that what this is about, Rabb? Proving something?" The Admiral questioned sternly.

Harm shook his head. "No, sir. It’s about a second chance. I don’t know how to explain it to you. I just know this is something I never thought I would ever be able to do again. Flying is in my blood, Admiral."

"I’ll have to think about this, Commander."

"But, sir…"

"You’ll have my answer by the end of the day, Commander Rabb. Dismissed!" A.J. barked.

"Aye, aye, sir!"

The door shut behind his young officer and A.J. rubbed his forehead. "Damn, damn, damn," he muttered. This was all going from bad to worse. He couldn’t lose the two best officers he’d ever had. But how could he make them stay?

Reaching for the phone, he punched in a number. "I need a favor."

"You? A favor? You never call me for favors, A.J. What’s wrong?" The SecNav asked on the other end of the line.

"Commander Rabb would like to change his designation back to active flight duty aboard a carrier."

"He what? That’s career suicide. I never liked that arrogant flyboy anyway but I didn’t think he was stupid."

"Careful," A.J. warned.

"So what do you want from me?" The other man asked instead.

"I want you to sign the papers ASAP."

"Commander."

The Admiral held a folder out and Harm took it. Opening it up, he looked at the contents. "Sir?" he questioned.

"It’s the orders you requested, Commander. The change in your designator. You have until the end of the day to give me your decision, Commander Rabb."

"I don’t need until the end of the day, Admiral. This is what I want," Harm answered firmly, not giving himself a minute to think otherwise.

"Very well, Commander. I’ll see to it that you have your orders first thing in the morning," A.J. looked down at the work on his desk.

"Sir, I want to tell you that I…"

"I suggest you get back to work, Commander Rabb. Dismissed," A.J. ordered, pointedly ignoring him.

"Aye, aye, sir."

Harm opened the office door and hesitated for just a second but the Admiral never looked up.

The second the door closed, A.J. threw down his pen in disgust. "Damn it to hell," he muttered.

Mac was trying very hard to enjoy herself. Really, she was. With nothing in her past but a broken home and endless trials, being around this McKenzie family was like a whole other world for her. Love flowed endlessly and even though there were disagreements, no one ever fought about anything. Most of the family members had gone back tot heir respective lives since the mess with the militia group and the F-14 crash. All that remained were King and Storm and Ellie in the big house and Brett and Stephanie. Steve was on tour with Jessie and Nic was with Tucker on the circuit. In the past couple of days, Storm had filled their time with endless pursuits from shopping in Victoria to riding horseback and remodeling parts of the big house. Mac was loving every minute of it but her focal point was always on the man she left behind.

"There’s so much sadness in your eyes, Mac. I wish there was something I could to help."

Mac glanced over at Storm. They were sitting under the shade of a towering oak in the far corner of the back yard, sipping tall glasses of tea looking out over the swimming pool.

"You could take away my memories so I wouldn’t know what love is like."

Storm laughed softly. "I spent a lot of years wishing someone would do the same to me. Now I use those years as a reminder of how far I’ve come. You and I are two peas in a pod, Mac. More than I think either of us realizes."

I had never been to Texas in my life and I was foolish enough to be on the road at night in a thunderstorm. I got lost and ended up in a ravine. You saw what a storm here can be like," she reminded gently.

"Oh, yes," Mac nodded. "Something I’d rather be at home in."

Storm laughed. "Me, too. Anyway, King and Brett found me the next morning and called for an ambulance. I had no money, no job and no place to stay. He came to see me in the hospital and I asked him to help me find a job. He thought I was stupid, to say the least," she grinned.

Mac laughed at the image, unable to picture that of the married couple she knew.

"He offered to bring me here to stay until I was healed. I was in no shape to be working. I wanted to know what his motive was and he assured me repeatedly that he had no motive. People in these parts just do that sort of thing. I was convinced for about the first week that he would eventually want something from me. Where I came from no one did anything without wanting something back. He finally wore me down with patience and gentleness. He showed me there are good, decent people in this world who do thinks simply because they want to."

"Like you did with us?" Mac asked.

Storm nodded. "I’m getting off on a tangent here, aren’t I?" she laughed brightly. "We fell in love over the course of the next month or so. Not very long, I know, but I’ve always believed that when find the right person you just know. You can’t measure that with time. But we still had a lot standing in our way. The fourteen-year difference in our ages worried King. He was afraid I’d leave him for someone closer to my own age. And I was terrified that a woman with my past would ruin him. He’s right in the middle of so many important things and I was convinced I would drag him down.

The best was yet to come, though. What I didn’t know, was that he and my Grandfather had been in a long, bitter fight over grazing rights. I won’t bore you with the rest of the details but he tracked me down here and when King found out who I really was, he threw me out."

"Threw you out?" Mac gasped.

"He was sure I’d lied to him about my identity to gain an inside track. I was devastated but I certainly understood where he was coming from. I honestly didn’t know about their interaction and he wouldn’t give me a chance to explain. I left as soon as I could pack and had Brett take me to a hotel in town. Two hours later I was on the bed crying my eyes out when he showed up, heart in hand.

Even then, I almost threw it all away. He took the blame for not believing me and told me again how much he loved me and wanted me to be his wife. I was still harping about not being good enough for him. He was reaching for the doorknob when it hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks. I couldn’t let him leave," she stated simply. "I loved him to much to ever be without him – no matter what the future had in store. I haven’t looked back a day since."

By the time she finished, Mac had tears streaming down her cheeks. The younger woman’s word pierced her heart. Without a word, Storm moved to sit next to Mac’s and wrapped her arm around her shaking shoulders. Instead of offering words, she just let her cry. After a few minutes, Mac lifted her head and wiped at her wet cheeks.

"I’m so sorry," she apologized, embarrassed.

"Don’t be," Storm smiled gently. "Just talk to me."

"I feel like I’m hearing a repeat of the same story I told myself a few days ago when I left Harm." Briefly, she told Storm about her decision to leave after all the hours the two of them spent confessing their love for each other. And then she did something totally out of character and told the pretty redhead about her past. About the way her mother ran off, the abuse her father heaped on her daily, her alcoholism, the events leading up to and surrounding Chris’s death, the trial – everything.

"I’ve spent so many years building a protective wall around myself to keep people out. I’ve come to associate letting people close with letting them hurt me. I never wanted to give anyone that power over me again. But then I met Harm and for the first time I was with a man who accepted me for who I was. He’s always supported me no matter what. Like when Chris was killed. The hardest thing I ever had to do was call him to come get me out of jail and during the trial when everyone else thought I was guilty, Harm insisted to the very end that I didn’t do it. Without him I’m so miserable I’m just sick!" Mac moaned softly. "I love him so much, Storm, but I’m terrified. He could do so much better than me!"

Storm sighed and squeezed Mac’s hand. "I won’t insult you by telling you that this is all stupid and you’ve already answered your own question but I will say this. I know it’s hard, Mac. I’m trying to help you see that you’re not alone. We all have some sort of personal demon. You have to figure out what means more to you. A lifetime of protecting yourself from being hurt or a lifetime of love with a man who simply adores you. You have a lot to offer, Mac. Maybe it’s time you realized that."

"And if what I saw that man go through the day you were shot is anything to go by, he loves you more than his own life."

Mac and Storm both whirled at the sound of King’s voice. He smiled apologetically and sat down on the other side of Mac’s legs on the chaise the two women occupied.

"I only heard the last thing Storm said," he promised. "I was coming to get you for lunch but maybe this is good timing after all. I was debating on giving this to you, Mac, because you’ve been so unhappy since you got here but now maybe it will help," he explained, looking thoughtfully at something in his hand.

He held it to Mac and she saw that it was a picture. Of her and Harm.

She looked up at him in surprise. "Where did you get this?" she asked.

"Tucker took it during the trip to the crash site. That boy always has a camera around. He had forgotten all about it since he took so many pictures until they were developed and we saw it. I think it says a lot," he mused nonchalantly. "Don’t you?"

Mac could only stare wordlessly at the picture. Dimly, she was aware of the other two standing up and then she was alone. Lovingly, her fingers traced Harm’s features. They were close together in the picture. Harm was sitting on a tree stump and she was standing between his legs, her back to him. He was wearing a white T-shirt, she a dark green tank top and both were in jeans. Her head was tilted slightly toward his, as if he were whispering in her ear, and he was holding one of her hands, his gaze focused on her slender fingers. But it was the look on both of their faces that took her breath away. No wonder everyone knew they loved each other. Even though they weren’t looking at each other, it was all but painted on signs and hung from around their necks!

"Oh my God," she whispered, her throat tight. "Storm was right! How could I have been so blind?"

Gently, she traced the picture again. She had answered all of her very own questions. She was just too stupid to see it. The infernal tears that were never far away these days threatened to spill over but Mac pushed them down. She had to get home. She had to talk to him, to tell him she was wrong. Getting up, she raced in the kitchen. Storm and Harm were talking with Ellie.

"I have to go home. You were right, Storm. I have been such a fool and I need to talk to him. To tell him how much I love him and that all the other stuff doesn’t matter," she stated in a rush.
The three of them smiled in understanding and Storm hugged her.

"Get your things packed, little girl, and I’ll fly you to the airport," King stated, pushing away from the counter he was leaning against.

"Thank you!" Mac whispered in a rush. "I’ll just be a few minutes."

In less than twenty minutes, they were lifting away from the helipad as Mac waved out the window to Ellie and Storm. Storm made flight arrangements for Mac on the next flight out of Houston in one hour.

"We’ll have the car to you by tomorrow," King promised.

"You sure don’t have to fool with it, King. I can’t arrange to have it shipped," Mac protested.

"It’s not a problem, Major," he teased. "It’ll give us a chance to get away for a couple of days."

Before Mac knew it, they were receiving clearance to land at Houston Hobby. King got out with her and passed her suitcases off the shuttle attendant waiting for her.

Mac smiled tremulously at him and then found herself swept up in his embrace. Showing a tenderness that was often hidden beneath the surface and unusual in such a big man, King smoothed one hand over her short hair and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Things will work out, Mac. Believe that. You’re a wonderful woman with so much to offer and I know he loves you. Hold on to that," he stepped back and tapped her on the chin. "You’re a part of our family now and you always know where to find us. Don’t forget it," he ordered lightly.

She smiled again and nodded. "I won’t. And I won’t ever forget all you’ve done for me and the way you accepted me right into the fold. It means more to me than you’ll ever know," she stated softly.

"I have an idea," he smiled gently. "Now get going so you don’t miss your flight. We’ll see you in a couple of days.

"Goodbye, King."

"Goodbye, Major MacKenzie."

Mac went straight JAG when she left the airport. It had taken a few minutes to get a rental car and she said a small prayer that he would not leave work early. She stood in the parking lot for just a few moments, gazing at the tall building. It was hard to believe she’d been away for over a month. It felt like just yesterday that she and Harm were leaving to go to Texas to investigate the crash.

She took the elevator up to their floor, took a deep breath and stepped out. The first person she saw was Bud.

"Major!" he exclaimed. "It’s good to see you? How are you?" he asked excitedly, hugging her. "The Admiral told us you wouldn’t be back for several weeks. Are you okay?"

"Slow down, Bud. I’m fine and I had a change in my plans. Is Harm here?" he asked Bud, trying to see over his shoulder.

"Commander Rabb? Umm, maybe you better go check in with the Admiral first," Bud answered nervously.

"What’s wrong, Bud? Is something wrong with the Commander?" Mac asked, suspicious.

"Major! Oh my God! It’s so good to see you!"

Mac turned and was caught in a warm hug by Harriett. She hugged the younger woman, still trying to get to Harm’s office.

"It’s good to see you, too, Harriett. You look wonderful. How’s little A.J.?" Mac asked.

"Just fine, ma’am. Growing like a weed," Harriett beamed.

"Harriett, the Major is looking for the Commander," Bud interjected nervously.

"Oh," Harriett answered, her face falling. "The Admiral is in. Wouldn’t you like to see him first?" Harriett questioned.

"I want to see Harm. All right, you two, what’s going on?" Mac demanded, looking between them.

"Ma’am…umm, well," Bud stammered, looking helplessly at Harriett.

Mac didn’t like the feeling she was getting from them. She pushed around Bud and almost ran to Harm’s office. The blinds were down and she pushed open the door without knocking. His office was empty – and not just of his presence. It was empty, period. All of his pictures were gone, the model Steerman – everything. She felt herself moving into the room to the file cabinet. She opened the top drawer only to find it empty. The second, third and fourth ones followed in rapid succession. Empty – all of them.

"He left a few days ago."

Mac whirled around to see the Admiral in the doorway.

"Where?" she demanded, her voice a mere whisper.

"Back to flying. He had laser surgery to correct the problem with his vision. He was misdiagnosed originally. He requested an immediate change in his designator to return to active flight status aboard a carrier," The Admiral explained quietly.

"What?" Mac gasped, stunned by the news.

"He was adamant about going even though it was against my better judgement. He said it was something he had to do," A.J. continued.

Mac almost felt as if he were referring to her. "He couldn’t have just left."

"Why couldn’t he, Major? You did."

The End