There was a man he didn’t recognize in her office. A tall man with a build similar to his own and dark blond hair. And they were laughing. Commander Harmon Rabb frowned as he made his way to his own office, hanging his cover up and setting his briefcase on the desk.

"Any luck with the deposition, Commander?"

Harm turned slightly and glanced at Lt. Bud Roberts. Then he shook his head. "No, Corporal Pate is going to make this as hard as possible. Bud, who’s that man with the Colonel?"

Bud didn’t look up from the folder he was perusing. "Captain Aaron McCulla. He’s here as a special liaison from the Pentagon for the Bedford court martial," Bud answered off-handedly.

"Mmmm," Harm replied.

His eyes narrowed in on the couple in the small office. They looked entirely too friendly for his liking. McCulla was standing too close and now he was… he was touching her! Harm felt the hair on the back of his neck rising.

{Wait a minute, a voice in his head cautioned. You don’t have any say over who touches her.}

"Commander?"

Bud’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Yes, Bud?"

"Will you have time before you go home to go over the Peterson file with me?" The younger man asked.

"Give me until 1500 and we’ll do it," Harm promised.

"Yes, sir."

"Hey, Mac, meet you tonight to work on the Bedford case?"

Lt. Colonel Sarah MacKenzie looked up to her doorway where Harm lounged negligently against the frame.

"I can’t tonight, Harm. I have plans," she answered.

"Plans, huh?" Harm took a couple of steps into the room. "Anyone I know?" he asked casually.

Mac gave him a quick smile and shook her head. "I don’t think you’ve met him. Captain McCulla is here to help with the case."

"Ahh, no, I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure. And he’s taking you out?"

Mac rose from her chair and began putting things in her briefcase. "Yes, Father, he’s taking me out. You sound almost jealous, Harm!" She teased.

Harm forced a laugh he didn’t feel and rolled his eyes. "Jealous? Of what? We’d have to have something between us for me to be jealous," he scoffed lightly.

Mac’s heart sank right to her toes at his offhand words.

{And that’s exactly why I’m letting him take me out, she thought sadly}

"Sarah?"

Harm turned at the voice behind him and came face to face with the Captain. He immediately felt territorial toward the man.

"Aaron, hi," Mac smiled prettily, a light blush coming to her cheeks that made Harm’s gut draw up in a tighter knot. "This is my partner, Commander Harmon Rabb. Harm, Captain Aaron McCulla," she introduced.

"Commander," Aaron greeted pleasantly, sticking his hand out, his even white teeth flashing a warm smile.

"Captain McCulla," Harm greeted formally, shaking the man’s hand.

Mac closed her briefcase with a snap and smiled at Harm. "I’ll see you in the morning, okay?"

"Sure. Have a good time," Harm barely managed to be polite.

"We will," Aaron stated confidently.

This continued for several days and the alien feelings in Harm grew. Aaron McCulla was another Dalton Lowne. The only difference was McCulla was military. But he had money and he drove a Porsche and Harm could see what he went through with Lowne happening all over again. He was going to lose Mac to some pretty boy with a pedigree. It was only because he worried about her. Mac needed someone who could understand and accept who and what she was. Lowne worried too much about appearances. He tried to squash her spirit and Mac was a lot of things but she was no one’s little woman. And now this… Captain. He almost spit the word out in his mind. How dare he just walk in and insinuate himself in her life this way.

{But why do you care? Mac’s a big girl, that ugly little voice reminded him again.}

And that was the ultimate question. Why did he care? It’s not like they were involved. Mac knew how Harm felt about personal relationships in the workplace.

And besides, they just worked too closely to ever allow something to happen. It just wouldn’t work. So why did the thought of her being with some other man make him want to break something?

"I can’t go over the case notes with you tonight, Harm. I have plans with Aaron."

"This case is important, Mac. We need to spend some time together on it," Harm insisted, closing her office door behind him.

"I have a life outside of this office, Harm. We spent almost all day yesterday on the case," she returned calmly.

"And we need more," he pushed. "You can have a life outside of the office after we finish this court martial. There’s a lot at stake here, Mac," he stated coldly.

Mac finally stopped moving and looked straight at him. "Are you suggesting that I’m not upholding my duties?" she asked coolly.

"Aren’t you?" he shot back, crossing his arms over his chest.

"How dare you!" she hissed angrily.

"How dare I?" he flung back. "How dare you, Colonel! We are in the middle of one of the most high profile cases we’ve ever tried and you’re worried more about your date than working on a case that should be taking all of our time and energy!" he ground out.

"Get out!" she yelled.

Harm stared her down for a moment before he spun on his heel and jerked open the door. He paused and turned back to her bent head.

"Run a little faster, Colonel. You haven’t outrun the problem yet."

Mac kept her head down and he closed the door, signaling his departure. Trembling with fury, she carefully sat down in her chair, clenching her hands into tight fists.

How dare he, she thought furiously. How dare he question her commitment to her job? Her private life was her own and he had no rights as far as she was concerned. She drew in a deep breath and got up, walking on shaky legs to the Admiral’s office.

"Good afternoon, Colonel."

"Tiner. Is the Admiral available?"

"Let me see, ma’am." He came back a second later. "Go on in."

"Thank you."

Mac slipped into Admiral Chegwidden’s office and brought herself to attention. A.J. looked up briefly and motioned to a chair.

"At ease, Colonel. What can I do for you?" he asked distractedly.

"Sir…" she hesitated, not knowing how to continue and he looked up.

"Is there a problem, Mac?"

"Sir, I’d like you to assign me a new partner," she stated in a rush.

Now she had his full attention. Slowly, A.J. put down his pen and sat up a little straighter, bringing his fingers together to form a steeple with his hands. "Is there something going on with Commander Rabb that I have not been made aware of?"

"I believe he feels that I am not fully committed to my duties here at JAG," she forced the words out, clenching her hands into tight fists.

"And why does he think that, Colonel?"

Whatever made her think this was going to be easy? "He feels we’re not spending enough time on the Bedford case. I believe we are."

"Does this have anything to do with Captain McCulla?" A.J. asked, leaning back slightly.

Mac looked taken aback. "No, sir. At least I don’t believe it does."

"Very well, Colonel. I’ll consider your request. I’ll also speak to the Commander," A.J. told her, his dismissal evident.

"Admiral…" she began.

"Dismissed, Colonel MacKenzie."

"Yes, sir."

"Commander Rabb? The Admiral would like to see you."

Harm glared at the phone for a second. "I’m on my way."

A minute later he was standing in front of his superior.

"Have a seat, Commander."

"Aye, sir. Is something wrong?" Harm asked.

"I was hoping you could tell me that, Commander Rabb. Colonel MacKenzie came to see me a few minutes ago. She’s requesting a new partner," A.J. announced without preamble.

Ham felt his heart skid to a stop but he forced down the emotion. "Sir?"

"She seems to think you believe she’s not doing her job properly."

"Ahhh… the Colonel and I have been disagreeing over the direction of the Bedford case. Permission to speak freely, Admiral?"

"Go ahead."

"Mac seems to be developing a private relationship with Captain McCulla. Every time I ask her to work on the court martial, she has to decline because they have plans. I believe it’s interfering with our work."

"I see," A.J. leaned forward and pinned Harm with a hard look. "This… feeling you have isn’t personal, is it?"

Harm’s expression was bemused. "Personal? How so, Admiral?"

"I mean, Commander, are you jealous?"

Harm scoffed at the very notion. "Why does everyone think I’m jealous? That’s the same thing Mac accused me of. I don’t doubt the Colonel’s abilities, Admiral. I just wonder if this isn’t providing a distraction she doesn’t need. The Bedford case is one our most important ever.

I believe it requires our full attention and every time I try to discuss it with her she’s leaving to meet Captain McCulla. I simply asked her this morning if she felt she was devoting enough time to it."

Admiral Chegwidden sighed and stared at his hands for a moment – long enough for Harm to grow uncomfortable. A.J. pressed a button on his phone.

"Colonel? May I see you in my office, please?"

"Yes, sir." Came Mac’s voice.

She appeared a minute later, sparing but a glance at Harm as she sat down next to him.

"Colonel, I was just telling the Commander why you came to see me this morning. Now I’m going to tell both of you this. I won’t tolerate your personal problems interfering with your jobs. Whatever this is, get it worked out. I’m not going to reassign you – at least not until the Bedford case is settled. But for both of your sakes, I suggest you come to an amicable resolution. I won’t tolerate you squabbling like a couple of children. Dismissed."

A few feet from Admiral’s Chegwidden’s office, Mac turned on Harm.

"How dare you tell him we were having personal problems!"

"How dare you go to him behind my back and request a new partner!" Harm shot back.

"You questioned my abilities. That seemed like as good a time as any to find someone else to work with as far as I was concerned!" Mac cried. "You act like a jealous husband and I’m sick of it! What I do outside of this office is none of your business!"

"It is when it effects our work! This case is important, which you seem to be forgetting. It should also be your first priority right now!" Harm yelled back.

"Don’t you talk to me about priorities! You don’t…"

"Commander, Colonel! In my office this instant!"

Admiral Chegwidden’s voice boomed across the bullpen, instantly cutting of their argument. They realized where they were and both felt the heat rising in their faces. They walked quickly to his office.

"I want both of you to go home now. You will take the rest of the day to figure this little problem out. Do I make myself clear? I will not tolerate behavior like this in the middle of the office!" he yelled angrily.

Harm and Mac remained silent, still at attention.

"I expect you to have this resolved before tomorrow or I will suspend you and have you removed from the Bedford case, do I make myself clear?" he demanded, standing directly in front of them.

"Yes, sir."

"Aye, sir."

"Now get out of my sight!"

Not another word was said as the two left his office and returned to their own. Their coworkers glanced covertly at the pair, waiting to see if anything would else would happen. But it didn’t. They both left without a word to anyone else.

Mac was working on the Bedford case when someone knocked on the door. Sighing, she rose and went to answer it, thinking it was probably Aaron even though she wasn’t expecting him.

"What are you doing here?" She demanded the second she saw Harm.

"I’d like to talk to you, please."

"Why? So you can insult me more?" she retorted crossly.

"Please," he asked again.

She stood for a long moment, staring mutinously at him before finally moving back to let him in. She made no motion to sit down so Harm remained standing as well, pushing his hands deep into his pockets.

"I want to talk to you about what happened today. About what’s been happening."

"I think you’ve said everything there is to say, Harm," she sighed and the anger seemed to leave her in a rush.

"On the contrary, I don’t think I’ve said enough. I have some things to say that I should have said in the first place. The truth is, I am jealous."

This was the last thing she expected to hear him admit. "Jealous? What on earth for?" A tiny seed of hope began to grow deep in her heart. If only he would tell her that he…

"Jealous because I’m used to having you all to myself and now you have someone else. I guess a part of me has always known you’d get involved again with someone. You know I care about you and your welfare. I also know you’re lonely so I’m real glad if Captain McCulla makes you happy."

Just as fast her hope died. He cared about her but not for her. A dead, empty weight settled somewhere in the vicinity of her heart. Her fingers curled into tight fists as she met his gaze head on.

"I want you to leave."

He was stunned by her order. "Why? I’m trying to tell you I’m sorry and to…"

"To what? To keep letting me make a fool of myself? I don’t want to hear anymore. I want you to leave and tomorrow I’m going to ask for a transfer out of JAG."

"A transfer? Mac, have you lost your mind? What the hell is going on?"

"You see? That’s the saddest part of this mess. That you really don’t know what’s going on. I guess I’ve just come to the realization that I have to stop eating my heart out for a man who doesn’t want me in return."

An ugly feeling ripped through his stomach. "What are you talking about?"

"For such a smart man you sure are dumb, Commander," she stated sarcastically. "See what I mean? You just don’t get it, Harm. Now please, just leave," she whispered, resigned.

"I don’t want to leave. I want to talk about this," he persisted.

"I’m tired of talking. I’ve been talking for months and months and you haven’t been listening," she muttered, fighting hard to keep her tears at bay.

Harm was beginning to grow angry as his confusion mounted. "Damn it, Mac, how can I…"

"Just go! Please! If you care about me at all then go away and leave me the hell alone!" she cried as the tears finally began to fall.

And that was just the right thing to say because he did care about her. So he went, turning once to give her one last look. His heart was breaking but he had no idea what to do to help her. He didn’t even know what was wrong. But he had an ugly suspicion and he didn’t like it one bit.

"I’ll go for now, Mac," he whispered gently as he reached the door. "But this isn’t over yet."

"Yes, it is, Harm. Yes, it is."

Mac wasn’t at work the next morning and Admiral Chegwidden informed Harm that she was taking the rest of the week off. It was Thanksgiving Eve and all of them: Harm, Mac, Bud, Harriett and little A.J. had been invited to the Admiral’s home for dinner. But now it hardly seemed they would have a good time. Harm wasn’t even sure Mac would attend. He was sitting at his desk, staring out the window when a knock sounded behind him. He turned his head and instantly bristled when he saw Aaron McCulla.

"Captain, what can I do for you?" Harm asked, turning and sitting up straighter in his chair.

"I was hoping to talk with you privately."

"Have a seat," Harm indicated.

Aaron closed the office door and lowered his tall frame into a chair. He studied Harm for a moment, his expression unrevealing. "It’s about Sarah."

"What about her?" Harm asked, automatically on the defense.

"Relax, Commander. I’m not the threat you think I am – all though I would take her in a minute if she were willing," he sighed.

"What do you mean ‘if she were willing’?" Harm’s eyes narrowed.

"You know, I’ve heard a lot about you from many people. That you’re one of the finest lawyers in the military. That you’re intelligent and quick to pick up things other people miss. It’s too bad it doesn’t carry over to your private life because you’re one of the stupidest men I’ve ever come across," The other man stated baldly.

"Now, wait just a minute…" Harm began, starting to rise.

"Settle down and let me finish," Aaron ordered flatly.

Hesitantly, Harm returned to his chair, glaring daggers at the blond man. "Get to the point, McCulla. I don’t see how my relationship with Mac is any of your business," Harm stated icily.

"If I were in your shoes I’d agree with you but I’m going to butt in this once because I care about Sarah and I want to see her happy. As much as I wish I could be that man, it’s a lost cause."

"Why? I was under the impression you two were getting pretty cozy," Harm retorted.

"I thought so, too, but Sarah has one man in her life already and he takes up all the space in her heart. There isn’t room for anyone else."

Harm shook his head. "Between you and Mac I’m totally confused. What the hell are you talking about?" he demanded.

"It’s you, you dumb son of a bitch! She’s in love with you!" Aaron burst out, rising from his seat to plant his hands flat on the desk.

The words hit Harm with all the impact of a bullet to the chest. His mouth worked but no sound came out so Aaron continued.

"She won’t come right out and admit it but it’s as plain as day. I suspect she’s felt this way for some time. What I don’t understand is how you could have missed it as closely as you work together."

Harm could still only stare at the Captain and finally Aaron went to the door, stopping just short of opening it.

"Maybe you should ask yourself how you missed it all this time and see if you can make it right. She’d kill me if she knew I came to see you but I felt you had a right to know. Personally, I don’t think you deserve her but well…" he gave a half-hearted shrug and scowled. "She deserves to be happy and I don’t think she ever will without you." He opened the door and then turned back once more. "Thanksgiving is tomorrow, Commander. It’s a good time to figure out exactly what you’re thankful for."

Directly after that, Harm asked for the rest of the day off. There was no way he could work now. His concentration was totally shot. So he went home and paced the apartment, trying desperately to process all that had happened and identify his own feelings.

He sat down on the couch and picked up a picture from the end table. It was one of him and Mac taken at the Embassy party when the Prime Minister was taken hostage. They were arm and arm and smiling widely. It was one of his favorite pictures. There was another one next to his bed. A shot of her alone at the same party. She was standing at the fountain in the courtyard, the lights from the moon and the building casting her half in shadows and half in illumination. She looked hesitant, almost distant. Harm had stood for a long time watching her. Savoring the time because it was a rare moment when her guard was down and he could look at her without having to watch his own feelings or hers. Jordan made a comment once about the picture that he hadn’t understood at the time.

"The reason you can’t commit is because there’s nothing left."

Now he knew what she meant. He was too wrapped up in Mac to see anyone else. And he was just coming to realize it too late. An image came to mind of when they were stuck on the Watertown. They spent days fighting – at each other’s throats constantly over everything and nothing. But at the very end – when Hodge had tried to kill them both – all the tension fell away and nothing mattered once Harm had her breathing again and in his arms.

Frowning, he stood up and went to the bedroom. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he lifted the silver frame from the bedside stand and cradled it in his hands. Another memory rolled in. When they believed Clay to dead. Distraught but definitely unwilling to let it show, Mac stayed the night with Harm under the guise of protecting him in case whoever killed Clay decided to target Harm. They both knew Harm could protect himself but he let her stay anyway.

Later in the night she woke him and when he saw her crying - well… it nearly broke his heart. He got up to check on her and found her at the window wrapped in a blanket and shivering.

His fingers traced her pretty features under the glass. Memories began to roll like frames of a home movie, filling him with missing pieces that should have fallen into place long ago as he stared hard at her image. This time it was the Iraqi desert with Keeter and the downed Stealth. Leaving her behind in that arid wasteland had taken every scrap of willpower he possessed.

Finally Harm cleared his throat slightly. "Take care, Marine."

The very night this picture had been taken almost took her from him. The most horrifying part of the whole night had been seeing her get hit. He wanted to kill all of them single-handedly. But he had to remember that he couldn’t coddle her – ever. From the very first time he’d ever met her, she made it very clear that she didn’t need protection from him or anyone else. She was a Marine and could take care of herself. Still, when they left later that night for home, she stumbled on the steps and allowed him top hold onto her. It was as good of an excuse as any and a great feeling to have her lean on him.

Leaving her six months ago to go back to carrier duty had been the single most difficult thing he’d ever done in his life. Out of everyone who knew him, Harm knew she would understand more than anyone what drove him to go back to flight status. It was something he had to do. And when she cried and tried to say something she couldn’t put words to - he thought his heart would never be in one piece after that but he couldn’t give in to his own emotions. Leaving was hard enough on its own, but pursuing this lost dream was something he had to do. A dream that had lived with him for eight long years – even through his father’s death – was all he had then.

Now that dream was gone. He was back at JAG trying desperately to find his lost footing. Where once he was the lead chair, he was now sitting second to Mac. At his initial return, she had outranked him. That irked some but not as much as finding out by complete surprise when she had every opportunity to tell him beforehand. But it was more than the promotion. It was more than losing his old office to Brumby and losing the trust of his peers.

It was the distance between he and Mac. The way she turned in the hall to go the other direction when she saw him coming. How she wouldn’t work on a case with him. The many times she pulled rank until he was finally promoted to full commander. It was her constant sniping, her rebuffs at his every attempt. The way she wouldn’t let him take her to lunch. Wouldn’t come over for half meat-half veggie pizza. It was all of those little things and so much more. But now with all of their tension and the appearance of Captain Aaron McCulla, the tenuous grasp they managed to retain of their former relationship was now shattered.

Harm lifted his head and stared at the dark sky beyond the window. It was as black as the void in his heart. He looked back to the picture of her. The saddest part of the whole mess was that he was just now beginning to realize something he should have known years ago. Something he was just finding out now that it was too late.

Or was it?

"Bud, Harriett, glad you agreed to come. And my little namesake, come here, son," A.J, murmured, taking baby, A.J. from Harriett.

Little A.J. smiled toothlessly and patted A.J.’s cheek with his chubby hand as the older man mumbled gibberish to him. Bud and Harriett exchanged a laughing glance as they walked further into the house.

"Hold the door!"

Bud halted in midstream and smiled widely as Mac hurried up the front steps. "Colonel! Good to see you, ma’am!"

"Bud, don’t you think you could call me Mac – at least for today?" Mac asked, knowing full well he wouldn’t do it.

It had become somewhat of a joke between them since Bud continued to use their formal address no matter what the status of their friendships or whether or not they were at work.

"Yes, ma’am," Bud grinned. "Let me take that from you," he offered, reaching for the carrier containing two pies. "Did you make these," he asked.

"For once?" Mac teased, watching his face redden slightly. "Yes, Bud, I made them so be careful if you have a piece."

"They smell wonderful, ma’am. I can’t wait," Harriet put in.

"Colonel, good to see you," A.J. greeted.

Mac’s eyes met his across the room and a silent message flowed between them. Her call the night before to tell him she was declining his invitation after all had not surprised him. But he wouldn’t allow her to back out. It was a day of thanks and they would spend it together. All of them.

"Admiral. Thank you for having me," she answered softly.

"My pleasure, Mac."

They removed their coats and boots and were heading for the small solarium at the back of A.J.’s home when the doorbell rang. Harriett went to get it and smile widely when she saw Harm.

"Commander! Now we’re all together! This is going to be the best Thanksgiving ever!" she exclaimed as she hugged him.

"Harriett," Harm murmured in return. "You look lovely. I would have to say motherhood agrees with you," he commented gently.

Harriett flushed becomingly. "Thank you, sir. It’s been greater than I ever imagined," she stated softly. Clearing her throat, she reached for the covered dish he held. "Let me take that, sir, while you get out your things."

Harm shucked his coat and boots and followed Harriett to the kitchen behind the others. Bud smiled and shook his hand as did the Admiral, the incidents of the week firmly put away for this special day.

"Commander, glad you could join us," A.J. stated, not at all surprised to see his second in command.

"Sir, thank you for inviting me." His gaze flickered across the room to his dark-haired partner. "Mac."

"Harm," she answered politely.

"Well," A.J. interrupted, clapping his hands together. I believe by the time we get everything on the table, that big turkey taking up space in my oven will be done. I hope all of you are hungry," he announced.

Various answers of agreement met his statement and he just smiled in return as they all reached for something to carry. In minutes the big formal dining table was set and ready for them. Laughter filled the small room as dishes were passed around and they dug into the feast before them.

Later, when dinner was finished and the table was cleared, dessert replaced it and A.J. called or their attention.

"I know each of you probably has a tradition for Thanksgiving that you celebrated growing up. But, since this is my house," They laughed at his bald statement. "We’re going to do my tradition. I want to hear what each of you is thankful for in your life. Harriett, would you do the honors?"

"Thank you, sir." Harriett looked around the table at each of the people closest to her and smiled lovingly. "I have a lot to be thankful for. The two most important reasons are right here with me. Bud and little A.J., who make everyday a source of joy and love. I’m thankful for you, Bud, who saw past the ditzy little blonde from the privileged family trying so hard to make a life for herself. Thank you for loving me and supporting me and for giving me this beautiful little baby I’m holding," she whispered, smiling tearfully as Bud leaned forward to kiss her.

Clearing her throat, she continued. "To you, Admiral, for your support and guiding hand through all that we have endured. You made it possible for me to stay on at JAG so I could be near my husband. You supported me through an emotional and sometimes frightening pregnancy and through it all, you never lost your temper or pushed me away. Colonel, I’m thankful for you for being my best friend. For your endless support, your love and for providing the female companionship I so desperately needed. I thank God for you everyday. Thank you for agreeing to little A.J.’s Godmother. It means the world to Bud and I to know that if anything ever happens to us, he’ll be in your capable hands. And Commander, I’m thankful for you for your patience with us. For all the help you’ve shown us. For supporting Bud as he settles into his career and most of all, for agreeing to be the Godfather to Mac’s Godmother. Bud and I know we couldn’t have asked anyone better. We love you both and we hope to always stay where you and the Colonel are," Harriett finished, a single tear sliding down her flushed cheek.

Bud squeezed his wife’s hand and trailed one finger down the baby’s cheek. "I am most thankful for Harriett and our son. Growing up, I was always the geek who was too smart for his own good. Harriett managed to see past all that and she loves me for everything I am and for all that I’m not. Admiral, since I’ve come to work at JAG, you’ve given me space to hone my craft, you’ve supported my promotions and you’ve assigned me to work under the leadership of the two finest officers I’ve ever known outside of you. Being at JAG is like being home. I finally have a place where I fit in. A place where I belong and where I have strengths instead of weaknesses.

Colonel, ma’am, I’m thankful everyday that you and the Commander agreed to be our godparents. I don’t think my son could be in any better hands. I’m also thankful for the friendship you have with Harriett because she feels loved and accepted by you from a family who has always demanded perfection. And I’m thankful for all the times you tried to help me figure out a woman’s heart," he grinned self-consciously and they all smiled. "And, Commander Rabb. I came from a family where abuse was second nature. Working with you, being your friend, has shown me what true family is. You’ve never looked down at me or treated me as less than your equal, despite my lower rank and sometimes bumbling mistakes. You make me feel like a valuable part of this team. For that I will always be grateful."

A.J. cleared his throat and clasped his hands on the table in front of him. "Very well said, Bud Harriett. Colonel? Would you like to go next?"

Mac nodded slowly. "Thank you, Admiral. Thank you, too, Bud, Harriett. I feel like you give me far too much credit. I have every reason to be thankful for both of you. I have no family…"

Her voice trailed off. "At least I thought I had no family. What I have is better. At JAG, I found something I’ve searched my whole life for. People who understand and accept me for what I am and still love me anyway." Mac felt the sting of tears and forced them down so she could continue. "Bud, Harriet, it was the greatest honor I’ve ever received to be asked to stand in as A.J.’s Godmother. I promised you then and will continue to promise to always do my best for him. I’m very thankful for both of you. For your support, your laughter, your endless questions and the love you openly share with us all. You make me believe that true love is still possible," her gaze flickered just briefly over Harm before moving to the Admiral.

"Admiral, when I first came to JAG, I wasn’t sure I was going to like it. I was used to field work and you’re reputation far proceeded you, sir." This brought another round of laughter. "But I’ve found my home here as well. A place where I belong. You’ve continued to stand in support of me through all of my mistakes and the wrong decisions that would have made any other CO bounce me out on my six. You’ve give me the chance to show my abilities, a chance to continue to learn more everyday and a chance to work with a group of the finest people I have ever known – mainly Commander Rabb."

Those last words got everyone’s attention. Despite it being a holiday, none of them had expected her to show much in the way of emotion toward Harm given all their recent animosity. Harm’s gaze was focused on her but she continued to look at the Admiral. But as she started to speak again, she turned her head to him.

"I’m thankful everyday for the chance to be your partner. Despite our rocky start, I’ve learned a great deal with you and from you. More than anything, I’ve learned what it truly means to be a partner and a friend. You’ve stood by me during times when no one else in my life would have. Through death and drinking and all the times that I took my anger out on you. You never wavered, Harm. You just kept…" her voice broke slightly and she took a deep breath. "You just kept going, taking it all in stride and proving to me that you had staying power. You proved to me that I had staying power, too. All my life I’ve been running from something. You’ve shown me that I have the courage to stand against it. I’m thankful for those gifts from you every single day that I’m here."

Harm sat there, stunned. He hadn’t a clue what to expect here today but this was definitely not it. Mac had never been one to be outright hostile but neither did he think she would give such a touching display. Apparently he didn’t have the only surprise of the afternoon planned.

A.J. drew a deep breath and smiled as Mac managed a smile and turned back to him, signaling that she was done.

"I guess it’s my turn now. As I sit here listening to each of you, I realize just how much I’m blessed with. Before all of you came to JAG, I thought I was happy with my life and my career. Now I see that I was simply existing. I was mad at the world because my only child lives a continent away from me. I had officers that I believed never quite measured up and I longed desperately to go back to my former life as a SEAL. I never thought I was cut out to stay behind a desk," he stated in that mixture of gruff and gentleness that was so much a part of him.

His admittance of his feelings surprised them. Knowing their leader was soft in the underbelly and actually hearing him say it out loud were two different things.

"Bud, Harriett, you’ve been a constant source of emotions for me. Mostly good," he was quick to point out. "You did me the greatest honor by naming your son after me, the son I helped to deliver. I wouldn’t trade that memory for anything. I’ve watched you both grow as individuals and as career Navy personnel and I’m damned proud of your every accomplishment. No matter what you may have believed about yourselves, you’ve proven your loyalty and courage under some of the most trying times.

Mac, when you first came under my command, I was hesitant. You had an outstanding record but a chip the size of the White House on your shoulder. You also had duplicitous reasons which wasn’t the best way to meet your new boss," his mouth quirked up in a little half grin and Mac flushed slightly. "But, you have proven your abilities as an attorney far beyond any expectation I may have had. You’ve shown courage and faith, intelligence and determination despite sometimes overwhelming adversity. I consider it an honor and a privilege to have you in my command."

"Thank you, sir," Mac whispered.

"And, Commander Rabb. Son, you were the first to come to me and we had our share of trouble from the beginning. I remember you as a brash, hotheaded pilot who still acted like he was in the cockpit of a Tomcat instead of the JAG office. Over the years, you’ve grown into a damned fine lawyer and friend. You’ve come to my aid as often as I’ve come to yours. I know I’m not always the easiest person to get along with but you accept that part of me and keep going. All of you do. I admire you for sticking to your convictions, for refusing to take a side other than that of the truth, and for putting your very life at risk for those who mean the most to you.’

"Thank you, Admiral," Harm murmured, also deeply touched.

"As I sit here looking at the four of you, I know there isn’t any other group of officers I would rather have in my command. Individually, you each bring something to the mix that is unique and special. Combined, you present a united front that is unstoppable to outside forces. You hold it together no matter what difficulties present themselves. I am honored to be your Commander and your friend and to second the sentiments of Harriet, I hope the four of you will always stay wherever I am."

There was silence was just a minute as they took stock of all he’d said.

"I guess that just leaves me to tell you what I’m thankful for," Harm spoke up softly. "Where do I begin? Admiral, I think that’s the longest speech I’ve ever heard you make." The small group laughed and the Admiral simply shrugged. "I’ve worked for a lot of good commanders but none who have ever gone to the wire for me like you. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, more than I had any right to and you’ve somehow managed to put them all aside. I can’t recall how many times you’ve chewed my six but it always seemed forgotten as soon as it was over. You’ve given me space to prove myself and to grow as a lawyer. You’ve given me your trust time and again as well as the chance to continue to work with you. I lost my Dad at such a young age that sometimes it’s hard to remember what he was like. You’ve filled that voice in my life more times than I can recall. I believe we’ve all been allowed to see a side of you most people are never privy to. For that, I am thankful everyday. You are one of the finest men I’ve ever known and you have my loyalty and my trust with no hesitation. Being in command doesn’t make someone a good leader. What makes a good leader is ruling with compassion and fairness. We have all that and more in you."

"Thank you, Commander. I’m touched," A.J. answered simply, too moved by all their words to say more.

"Now, I believe I’m going to make a fool of myself. I only have one person left at this table to be thankful for. Right now, I’m more thankful for her than I can ever recall being since I met her. The last six months between us, Mac, have been hard. I didn’t realize how hard until earlier this week when it was so delicately pointed out to me. I’ve done a lot of thinking in the past day and came to a hard truth. I have no excuse for my behavior. I guess when someone is so determined to block something out - they truly never see it.

After you ordered me out of your apartment the other night, Captain McCulla paid me a visit at the office and he gave away a secret you’ve been keeping. A secret I should have already guessed long before now," Harm looked around the room, knowing what he was referring to was already known to the others. He was the only one who’d ever been in the dark about it.

"I did some long hard thinking last night and realized it’s always been right before my eyes. I was just too stupid to see it and for that I’m sorrier than I can even begin to tell you. I started thinking about some of the things we’ve been through. About all the times I nearly lost you. Then I realized it was true that I was jealous. I’ve been jealous of them all – Dalton, Brumby and now Captain McCulla because they were privy to a part of you that I wasn’t. Then I also realized you’d tried to give me that part and I turned my back on it. Not anymore. I see you sitting there looking at me and I can tell I’m confusing you. I had this all rehearsed, Mac, and now that I’m trying to tell you, none of it is coming out right," he stated ruefully.

Harm moved in his chair and reached into his pocket. Then he moved to his knees in front of her. The quiet in the dining room was overwhelming. Clearing his throat, Harm reached for her hand, holding it tightly as if to draw strength from her.

"I have many reasons to be thankful. Three of them are here at this table. But the most important one is looking at me now with her heart in her eyes. I never felt like I belonged anywhere until I settled in at JAG with all of you. But more than that, I’ve found a place at your side. I’ve hurt you so much that I don’t even have the right to as you to forgive me. But I’m going to. Right here as we thank God and each other for all we have and all we share. I love you, Sarah MacKenzie, from the very bottom of my heart."

Mac uttered a small gasp as her free hand flew to her mouth.

Gathering the tatters of his courage, Harm took a deep breath and continued. "You make me laugh, you keep me on my toes, you’ve never once been afraid to stand up and tell me I’m wrong. You’ve saved me, guided me, supported me and a thousand other things I can only start to touch on. You’ve been the one constant thing in my world that have been unwavering since the day I met you. I never knew how much until I came face-to-face with losing you. Not to enemy fire or another man but to my own lack of insight. I can’t erase all of that but I can promise it will never be that way again," he paused and let go of her hand to open the tiny velvet box he held.

Tears spilled over in Mac’s beautiful eyes, her gaze riveted on him.

"I feel pretty stupid right about now," he confessed. "But there isn’t anyone else I’d rather have witness to this than Bud, Harriett and the Admiral.

It would be my greatest honor if you would agree to be my wife. To give me another blessing to be thankful for in a long line of many more than I ever dreamed I’d have."

"Oh, my God," Mac breathed, tears clogging her throat. "I never dreamed…" her voice trailed off. "Are you… are you sure? This is…"

"Sudden? Only this part of it. How I feel about you isn’t sudden. As I thought back last night to all that we’ve done and all that we’ve been through, it hit me that all the jealousy and the protectiveness that I’d claimed were because I cared about you, were always because I loved you. I just recognize it for what it truly was because I didn’t want to. The Admiral called it right when he said I was so obsessed with flying that I couldn’t see past the end of my nose. Up until my return to carrier duty, everything else was just means to an end. I was trying to recapture something that was better left in the past. It made me see how everyone else knew it and kept it to themselves. You’ve made it clear to many a dozen different times in a dozen different ways. I just didn’t see it," he repeated, almost more to himself than to her. He looked up, his eyes blazing.

"I love you, Mac. I can’t remember now when I didn’t. But no matter what your answer to this," he gently shook the ring box. "I will be eternally grateful for every single tiny way you’ve graced my life. From your smile, to the look in your eyes to the warmth of your touch."

"Does that mean I can’t say yes?" her whisper was almost lost in the thundering of his heart.

Somewhere in the background was a gasp from Harriett.

Harm swallowed hard. "It means I hope you will say yes," he countered.

"Yes."

The End