Title:

Title: Wasted Words

Author: Kimberly Knipp

Email: MCK8686@aol.com

Rating: PG

Classification: Vignette - Harm

Summary: Continuing on from The Rest is Silence

Disclaimer: Standard stuff - see part one.

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Main Entry: waste

Inflected Form(s): wast·ed; wast·ing

1: to lay waste; to damage or destroy gradually and progressively

2: to cause to shrink in physical bulk or strength

3: to wear away or diminish gradually

4a: to spend or use carelessly; b: to allow to be used inefficiently or

become dissipated

5: waste one's breath: to accomplish nothing by speaking

0230 ZULU

HARM'S LOFT

NORTH OF UNION STATION

Very carefully, Harm put the tiny Steerman down on his bookcase, his hands shaking from the anger still churning within him. He was hurt and disappointed about what just happened. He went over to see Mac with the intent of getting their feelings out in the open once and for all, not to have a fight. His cheek smarted from her hard blow but his heart smarted more from the harsh words they'd exchanged.

The whole exchange took less than fifteen minutes and ended up being nothing but wasted words. They accomplished nothing except to further alienate each other. A thought niggled at Harm that he could be wrong about her relationship with Darren but after all he'd witnessed between the pair, her

words about being only friends didn't add up.

Harm sighed, ignoring the voice of reason in his head. He knew her better than anyone alive and he knew she wouldn't play between two men to the extent of which he accused her. Yes, she had gone to Brumby after Harm basically asked her for more time. But they weren't truly involved either. Granted, they weren't now - at least not physically but Harm didn't know how two people could be any closer. He knew Sarah loved him. He was so sure of it he would bet his wings on it being true. But her relationship with Darren James didn't make an ounce of sense. Harm had seen it with his own eyes.

How could it be nothing? A man and a woman didn't hold each other, cry together, whisper words of love unless it were real and true.

It hadn't been all that long since she broke her engagement with Brumby and he was sure they would now be able to concentrate on each other. He never expected another man to come along but his words to Mac about her waiting were true enough. If she loved him as much as she said she did, then was it too much to ask that she give him a little time?

{{Look how much time you've already had. How much does it take to be sure?}}

"Damn it," he whispered aloud. "I don't know how much more time."

And he really didn't. The realization he came to that night in the hospital remained - he was a coward. He was too afraid to admit his feelings to Mac because she had more power than any other woman to hurt him. She could tear him apart so deeply that he would never mend. And the great Tomcat pilot turned JAG legend was shaking in his boots with that knowledge.

He knew his accusations last night hurt her deeply. If he were honest with himself, he would admit that he wanted to hurt her. He wanted her to suffer the way he suffered every time he saw her with Darren. What he couldn't answer was what happened to the relationship they once shared - where they could talk about anything? They never felt the need to hide or lie about things. Even their budding feelings were there, just beneath the surface, even if not exposed aloud. What they made out to be so hard could be so easily solved that it made him want to cry. The only thing one of them had to do was say three little words and it would be done. You'd think that would be easy for a Tomcat pilot and a jarhead. Apparently not. Now he was in the daunting position of sorting through his own feelings and hoping he hadn't lost her to Darren. They were laying waste to years of close friendship. Wearing away at it, diminishing their strength as a team. Harm knew he had to find someway to stop it from happening before he lost her for good.