EXCERPT FROM
"THE BIG SHOW" 4/22/51
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: I haven't picked the spot yet, but I've made up my mind to go somewhere.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: You goin' alone, Tallulah?
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Yes I am, Judy Holliday.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: Ya still single, huh?
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Judy darling, this has been a very bad week for me. I was sick in bed and running a temperature, and the only reason the doctors let me out today was because I had to do this show. And I promised my doctor that I wouldn't allow myself (begins to breakdown) to get excited or aggravated. So Judy would you please lay off the single stuff so I can follow my doctor's orders?
JUDY HOLLIDAY: (crying) I'm sorry Tallulah.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: (stern) That's better!
JUDY HOLLIDAY: Is the doctor single?
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: OH JUDY!!!
JUDY HOLLIDAY: I'm only tryin' to look out for your interests.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Well please don't. I'm quite happy the way I am. Now all I need is a little rest and a change of scenery. That's why I'm planning a boat trip this summer. I may go to...uh...to England.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: A nice Englishman is nice.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: I might go to France.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: A Frenchman would be nice.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: I might even go to Tangiers.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: (excited) Tallulah, you gonna marry a tangerine?
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Judy, I am not taking a boat trip to get married, I'm just going for a change.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: Well, wouldn't that be a change? Wouldn't it be nice to have somebody to walk the deck with ya and stand by the rail and hold your hand?
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: I don't expect to do much deck-walking. I'll probably be violently ill the whole way over.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: Alright, so he'll stand by the rail and hold your head. And you know what, Tallulah? I got just the fella for ya.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: I'm sure you have...and you probably got the wedding date set and everything. It doesn't matter if I love him or not.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: So what if he's eleven, just don't hate him. He's very nice. He's five foot one inch tall.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: FIVE FOOT ONE! Really Judy!
JUDY HOLLIDAY: So he'll grow on ya. I'll arrange for you to meet him. He lives in Brooklyn.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Naturally. I wouldn't even know how to get to Brooklyn.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Or maybe your idea is better, Tallulah...gettin' a European husband. They're much more romantic. They'll treat you like a girl, all you have to do is tell 'em.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: European men are not for me. American men are the best.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: Sure they're the best. But if American men don't look at ya, then European men are the best. Aw, you'll love livin' over there Tallulah. Maybe it'll be an Englishman. It'll be so romantic. Walkin' along the "thaymes" river.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: It's "tems" darling.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: Oh, "tems?" Thanks. (pauses) And you and him ridin' in your big limosuine with a chauffer. And you say "a Buckingham Palace please 'jems'."
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: It's "James" darling.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: (frustrated) Well make up your mind!
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: My mind is made up. I would never leave this country. I love New York. I lived here practically all my life. Everything I hold near and dear is in New York. The things I'm used to. My dentist. My hairdresser is here.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: Ah, your roots are in New York.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: They certainly are, so I'll make my ocean trip by myself.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: It can get awful lonely on a boat by yourself.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Oh I don't know. There's always the Captain or the First Mate.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: Well that's what I say. First mate and then go.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Oh I give up!
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