EXCERPT FROM
"THE BIG SHOW" 4/1/51



TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Hello? Hello? Wait a minute, I'm getting Judy. Quiet please darlings. Everybody quiet. Hello? Hello? Hello? This is Tallulah. Who's this?

JUDY HOLLIDAY: This is Judy Holliday, that's who.

TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Judy darling congratulations. We're so excited here about the Academy Award. Everybody in the studio is so thrilled Judy. Oh they're all so happy for you darling. I've got them all here with me - Bob Hope, Groucho Marx, Ezio Pinza, Van Johnson...

JUDY HOLLIDAY: All those fellas there with ya and you're wastin' your time callin' me.

TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Now Judy, this is no time to start that. We're all so happy you won an Oscar.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: Don't you think it's time you won an Oscar...or even a Charlie, or a Henry, or a George?

TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Now look Judy, don't waste time talking about that. This is long distance.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: Oh yeah, it's costin' me money. I better hang up.

TALLULAH BANKHEAD: No darling, it's not costing you - I'm the one who's calling.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: Yeah I know, but I had to come down to the candy store to answer the phone and all the kids came in and they made a big party out of it. (yelling to the kids) "The treat's on me...licorice whips for everybody!"

TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Well, darling, you shouldn't mind that. After all, isn't it wonderful that you won the award?

JUDY HOLLIDAY: Oh, I should say. I'm the happiest girl in the world - or maybe not the world, but I'm the happiest girl in my neighborhood. I'm the first girl on my block to win an Academy Award.

TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Judy, Judy darling, everybody here wants to talk to you. Here's Ezio Pinza.

EZIO PINZA: Hello, Miss Holliday.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: How ya do.

EZIO PINZA: My congratulations to you Miss Holliday.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: Thank you. Thank you very much. Um,...do you like Tallulah?

EZIO PINZA: Oh yes, very much.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: (excited) Are you married?

EZIO PINZA: Yes, I am.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: (dejected) Lemme talk to one of the other fellas.

TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Hello? Hello Judy?

JUDY HOLLIDAY: Which fella are you?.

TALLULAH BANKHEAD: (stern) This is Tallulah darling!

JUDY HOLLIDAY: You're talkin' too low again Tallulah.

TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Judy, here's Van Johnson.

VAN JOHNSON: Hi ya, Judy.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: How ya do.

VAN JOHNSON: Judy, I was so happy to hear you won the award, congratulations.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: Thank you very much. Do you like Tallulah?

VAN JOHNSON: Oh I'm crazy about her.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: (excited) Are you married?

VAN JOHNSON: Yep.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: (dejected) Lemme talk to another fella.

TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Judy, darling, now I want you to talk to Bob Hope.

BOB HOPE: Hello, Judy baby. This is Bob "I'm Glad You Won The Oscar" Hope telling you to stay right in there and keep on punching Judy.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: How ya do. Do you like Tallulah?

BOB HOPE: Oh sure.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: (excited) Are you married?

BOB HOPE: Yes.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: (hopeful) Happily?

BOB HOPE: Yes.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: (dejected) Lemme talk to one of the other fellas.

TALLULAH BANKHEAD: And now Judy darling, hold on, Groucho Marx wants to talk to you.

GROUCHO MARX: Hello, Judy, this is Groucho. Congratulations.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: Thank you very much. Hey, you like Tallulah?

GROUCHO MARX: Like a brother.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: (dejected) Lemme talk to one of the other fellas.

GROUCHO MARX: There are no other fellas around. How 'bout you and me going out on a date tonight?

JUDY HOLLIDAY: Tonight!?! I'm in New York.

GROUCHO MARX: Well, you go to the Stork Club and I'll go to the Brown Derby...separate checks, of course.

TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Oh Judy, here's Joan Davis, darling.

JOAN DAVIS: Hi Judy.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: How ya do.

JOAN DAVIS: Oh gee kid, I'm sure happy you won that Academy Award.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: Thank you, Miss Davis. I'm sorry you lost.

JOAN DAVIS: Oh boy, have you got the wrong Davis!

JUDY HOLLIDAY: Excuse me. Wait a minute, aren't you the Miss Davis who was interested in all about Eve?

JOAN DAVIS: No, all this Davis cares about is all about Adam.

TALLULAH BANKHEAD: And now Judy, darling...Judy I saved her for the last - here she is, Miss Ethel Barrymore.

ETHEL BARRYMORE: Hello, Judy dear.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: (speaking in her real voice) Miss Barrymore, if I may step out of character for a moment, may I say that of course it was a thrill to win the Academy Award, but the extra thrill of having you accept my award for me, was really more than I deserve. It's something I'll never forget and you'll always have my eternal thanks. And that goes for your friend, Tallulah, for being such a wonderful friend to me.

ETHEL BARRYMORE: That was lovely speech Judy.

JUDY HOLLIDAY: (still speaking in her real voice) Thank you, Miss Barrymore. (switches back to the Billie Dawn voice) And may I hope, Miss Barrymore, that if everything turns out well for you and Tallulah, next year it'll be Mrs. Barrymore and Mrs. Bankhead.



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