EXCERPT FROM
"THE BIG SHOW" 1/21/51
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Come over here and let's chat.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: What about?
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Why darling, whenever an actress comes on the show we always have a talk.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: Why?
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Well, people expect it...this is The Big Show.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: No wonder you're here for an hour and a half. Ya know, if you didn't talk so much you could be home in a half hour like everybody else.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: You don't understand darling, we want to talk about you. Well, I imagine that Gar Kanin had you in mind when he wrote the part of Billie Dawn in Born Yesterday. You're superb in the part...that voice!
JUDY HOLLIDAY: Oh, that's all an act. That's my stage voice. This is my real voice (not varying from the Billie Dawn voice one bit).
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: (grumbles to herself)
JUDY HOLLIDAY: It's just like you. On the stage you're one person, and in movies you're another person.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Don't you DARE mention her name on this program!
JUDY HOLLIDAY: You don't like Billie Dawn?
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: The wrong name darling, but the right initials (meaning her arch enemy Bette Davis).
JUDY HOLLIDAY: You don't feel good?
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Oh, I feel fine Judy. I am sure I become a little over-wrought at times. This show is a big responsibility...rehearsals, writing, direction, production, acting...I pour everything into this program. I devote all of my time to this show.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: (sad) You're single, huh?
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: SINGLE! ...I'm "unattached" if that's what you mean.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: You should be attached. How come you're not married? (pauses) Nobody asked ya, huh?
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: My dear girl, I'm probably the most sought after woman in the world. I can have my pick of the most eligible of men. Englishmen, Frenchmen, Italians. They've fought for me, wined me, dined me, toasted me in every part of the world.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: (sad) Nobody asked ya, huh?
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: I've had men chasing me for years.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: You should've let some of them catch up with ya.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Obviously my dear, someone has caught up with you.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: I let him. ...Hey listen, maybe what you need is glamour. Do ya know what glamour is?
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: (groans)
JUDY HOLLIDAY: You don't know, huh?
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Darling, they call me "the glamorous and unpredictable Tallulah Bankhead."
JUDY HOLLIDAY: Oh...What's "unpredictable?"
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: ...And I thought I had trouble with Meredith Willson. "Unpredictable," that's because people never know what I'm liable to do or say. I do and say whatever I feel like at all times.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: So why do they say "unpredictable" when they mean "crazy?"
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: This is one holiday that I should have never observed. On second thought, it should be under observation. Judy, I have traded barbs with some of the greatest names in show business, but never have I been insulted so famously, so effortlessly, so...(begins to cry)...to think of all the new, young actors coming along to belittle me...(continues her crying jag)
JUDY HOLLIDAY: If you get married, you wouldn't be so nervous.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: (laughing) Don't you see my darling, I was just acting.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: Oh, that's wonderful acting. You go from cryin' to laughin' to cryin'...(does high-pitched laugh, then a low sob.) I wish I could do that. Hey, you radio actresses are so good.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: WHAT!?!
JUDY HOLLIDAY: Hey, maybe I can get you an audition on television.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Don't you DARE mention that medium on this program!
GYPSY ROSE LEE: (interrupting) Oh Tallulah, I was just thinking, I...oh excuse me. I didn't realize you were talking to someone.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD: Oh Gypsy, this is Judy Holliday.
GYPSY ROSE LEE: How do you do.
JUDY HOLLIDAY: Pleased to meet ya. Hey, I remember you. You're the one who did the dance with the fans.
GYPSY ROSE LEE: Don't you DARE mention that name on this program!
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