a biography should reveal more about you than a credit report. here's your chance to make an impact long after the viewer has logged off. pull out the big guns. a good bio leaves the reader with an almost embarrassed feeling, having delved into the most intimate psyche of a total stranger. folks have no problem with putting offensive colorful images on their pages. why do they balk at telling their life's story with the same kind of boldness? aren't you proud of yourself? a bio will always be more moving than some stupid image you've manipulated. displaying a huge animated gif of your name is shallow. a candid bio is deep. when buiding personal sites for others, their first tort is always "I've had such a boring life". hogwash. after delving, the dark scandal surfaces. NOBODY has had a boring life. not even staunch republicans. people want dirt. if you can't find any, do what celebrities do: LIE! a bio is not a police report. turn your trip to New Jersey when you got mugged into your African safari when you were kidnapped by pygmies. you most likely will never meet your online guests in person. there is no need for self-righteous honesty. (note: the 'liar' advice above is never adhered to. it's strange, for some reason, even people who steal, cheat, and hurt others online, find it hard to lie about their past in writing. what a wacky world, eh?!) whatever you do, avoid using dates and other numbers. for example, you should never write something like this: I was born on 08/02/1961 at 6:32. My mother was 22, and was in labour for 6 hours and 18 minutes. weighed 8lbs. and 11oz. I have 2 sisters; 1 and 2 years younger. after 2 marriages, i have 5 lovely children: 3 daughters at 3,7,13, and 2 sons 4 and 11. that looks like a @!#$!* math equation! where's the human stuff? do you think people will look down at you if you claim you were a hooker 20 years ago so you could feed your kids? heck no! they will have the greatest respect for you because you have the gall to be so honest and mature enough to shrug it off as a part of life! here's an idea for those of you who are too shy to write about yourselves: have someone else write about you! it's far easier to describe someone else than yourself. for example, you can type: "This is what my wife has to say about me...." if you find yourself producing a lenthy bio, congratulations! just make sure you break up your prose into short paragraphs and/or with some photos or other images, ok? just to keep the interest flowing.

some suggestions: childhood! can you remember that far back? o what sweet memories of our innocent days. these were our formative years, the times that shaped us into the individuals that we are. share your nostalgia. desires! we all have 'em. by now we realise that most of them shall remain unfulfilled. you may never tromp through the Amazon rain forest or shop in the street markets of Hong Kong, but you've read all, and seen every tv program about it, but writing about may be the next best thing to being there. love! how did you and your spouse meet? under what circumstances? what about the moment(s) of marriage propsal? the hardships of divorce proceedings? all this makes for great reading. especially for women. your children! instead of focusing on something as cold their ages, what about describing them? the quiet one? the rebel? what hopes and dreams do you have for each child? this can be very revealing, you might learn something about yourself. would you be concerned if your children would read what you write about them? that's even better! to read the way your parents feel about you is much more soul-touching than any oral words of advice could accomplish. sex! if advertisers can use it to sell beer and cars, you certainly can use it on your bio. only you know your own personal ethical limits of "kiss and tell". 'nuff said. chapter of life! all of our lives can be divided into phases. this is the best way to approach a bio. putting your whole life in writing is a daunting task. if you attempt to describe each life-stage at a time, you can focus on recalling emotional states of each phase. your college years, years fighting depression, your time in jail. beware! you may be suprised how different your life seems in writing as compared to your memory. preferences! a good way to avoid writing a book, yet reveal who you are, is to make a list of your likes and disikes. this is used successfully on many personal websites. by the way, human nature dictates that 'things i hate' sparks more interest than 'things i like'.

in short, make us laugh, cry, wonder, or piss us off, just please don't bore us!