where do i begin? email is communication. to email is to communicate. we live in the age of communication. email is communication. did you know that email is a form of communication? every time an image or sound is added to a signature, you slow your download. the any deliberate attempt to slow down communication is anti-communication.
have you ever tried to read a post in a discussion group, waited and waited, and after an absurd amout of time, it finally downloads, only to display a gigantic animated name, a zoo of animations and fantasy images, a encyclopedia of links, only to seen by using the 'scroll down' key seventeen times? wait, there's also the irritating sound file, the ugly audioscope and the moving sidebar that obscures the email functions! of course, the icing on the cake is the message itself, which simply states: "ROFLMAO!".
a great signature is one that tastefully expresses your individuality and should never impose upon the viewer. if many folks display a large glittery animated name and overmanipulated image on a black background, all individuality is lost. a perfect signature doesn't require the 'scroll down' key and loads instantly. it should be a mere enhancement for your message, not a damn warehouse.
a signature crammed with images and sounds indicates the owner is self-centered, inconsiderate and rude. it is a way of saying "my designing skills are so crummy that no one would ever want to visit my pages, so i'm going to email you and post in newsgroups so you have no choice but to be exposed to my poor taste in sound and visuals." yep, that's exactly what it says. even Ms. Cleo said so.
contrary to popular belief, email is not a webpage. (email is a form of communication, did you know that?) the maximum alotted download time for an email or post should be 2-3 seconds. any longer, and your signature is a failure. if you force the viewer to use the 'scroll down' button more than once to view your entire signature after your text, it's also a failure. sorry about that. by the way, there seems to be some kind of connection between a overloaded signature and an extremely crappy webpage. usually if you posess one, you usually posess the other.
codes such as advanced javascript, CCS and DHTML that were developed for page-building never belong in an email, never ever. also, never use a patterned background on your email. if you are addicted to webtv toys such as moving sidebars or audioscopes, go make a damn webpage. what? those won't work on a webpage? well, then take a hint.
a guideline for building a great signature is to think of it as a single digital canvas (which it is), instead of a mere bulletin board to be cluttered with a collection of unrelated images. if you follow this rule, you can create a single composition, which has far more impact a common scrapbook.
AWARDS
sig contests and anything else that fosters creativity are great, but awards are like bowel movements; anybody can make a pile of 'em, and most of them look hideous. ok, if Bill Gates personally sent you an award for your skills, wear it proudly. sure, it's satisfying to win a contest (even if only four people entered), but to display insignificant awards (costing download time) is downright masturbatory at best. i'm all for masturbation, but it should be kept it in private, don't you think?
i'm very proud of the awards i've won from the PC community for my infamous adult-oriented website, but i've never displayed any of 'em. the reasons aren't humble nor noble, they just clash with my cool color schemes and add to the loading time. by the way, if you make awards, take clues from experienced PC folk; make 'em small with text and simple graphics only. the only award that should be 400x200 pixels, 25kb and more than three colors, is the one you receive for curing cancer.
FUN FACT: email is a tool of communication!