I'm a Georgian!
I want y'all to understand one thing right up
front. I'm a Georgian. Always have been and, the Good Lord willing,
always will be.
I was raised in a Georgia Town and educated in
Georgia schools.
I have traveled in most all fifty states and several
foreign countries - including New Jersey and Pennsylvania.
I realize that we have been infiltrated as of
late with a number of Northern transplants, and they are all welcome,
as long as they choose to live amongst us in peace
without spending all their spare time telling us how much better
things were back in Cleveland and how proficient they are at driving
on snow and ice.
Nonetheless, I feel it is my civic duty to provide
a primer of sorts for all the good people who have recently migrated
to the Peach State.
It might not hurt to remind some of the natives
of a few points of pride as well. There are some things that all
Georgians should know.
Coca Cola is ours, and unless you've had one in
a green six-and-a-half ounce bottle, with a slight crust of ice
on top, you don't know what the real thing is. And you might want
to try pouring about half a pack of salted peanuts into one sometime.
If it weren't for a Georgian-Crawford Long of
Jefferson---open-heart surgery would hurt like heck.
True Georgians say "ma'am" and
call their mothers "mama" and their fathers "daddy".
They know that y'all is perfectly good English and never means just
one person. "Fixin to" is perfectly acceptable, too.
And if y'all don't like the way we talk, Delta
(which is also ours) is ready when you are.
Long before the Olympics brought the world's
greatest athletes to Atlanta, we gave the world Ty Cobb, Jackie
Robinson, Walt Frazier, Luke Appling, Johnny Mize, Fran Tarkenton,
Bobby Jones, Wyomia Tyus, and Herschel Walker.
Long after the Atlanta Olympics have faded from
memory, the greatest tourna-ment in golf will still be played in
Augusta every April,
with or without Jessie Jackson's and Martha Burke's
approval, and on autumn Saturdays, 90,000 or so Red-and-Black faithful
will gather in Athens for a prayer meeting between the hedges.
No matter how many times the Braves play in the
World Series,
nothing will match the excitement of that first
one.
The Stone Mountain carving is lots bigger than
the one on Mt. Rushmore and the people etched into the side of Stone Mountain
deserve the honor. It wasn't just about slavery.
Atlanta was called "the city too busy to
hate," back in the sixties, because it really was, and we should be proud
of that fact.
In 1864 Sherman burned Atlanta and much of Georgia
in his March to the sea. Crack cocaine is bringing more harm to
Atlanta than Sherman ever dreamed of.
We don't grow the most peaches, but we still deserve
to be called the "Peach State" because ours are the sweetest.
That includes the Georgia peaches that don't grow on trees. We do
produce the most peanuts, pecans, and poultry.
Elvis wasn't ours, but Otis Redding, James Brown,
the Allman Brothers, Johnny Mercer, Joe South , Ray Charles, Bill Anderson,
Brenda Lee, Trisha Yearwood and Alan Jackson are.
So are Sidney
Lanier, Joel Chandler Harris, Margaret Mitchell and Alice Walker.
And I still miss Lewis Grizzard every day. Julia Roberts may be
Georgia's prettiest movie star but Holly Hunter is the most talented. Dakota
Fanning may one day surpass them both.
"Dakota"
FDR adopted us. His "Little White House"
in Warm Springs is exactly as it was the day he died there, near
the end of World War II.
Every Georgian needs to visit Warm Springs. Roosevelt's
New Deal put Georgians to work and turned an entire generation of
her people into "yellow Dog" Democrats.
Georgia once had three governors at the same time.
Lester Maddox wasn't one of them, but was elected by the General
Assembly without getting a majority of the popular vote. He did
a good job too, God rest his soul.
Zell Miller was the best governor I never voted
for, and Jimmy Carter might have struggled while he was in the White
House, but he became one of the best ex-presidents we ever had.
Gone With the Wind belongs to us. We own it. Not
only is it by one of our own and is about us, but it's also one
of the great novels of all time and an absolute film classic-and we shouldn't
apologize for liking it.
WSB means "Welcome South Brother." She
ain't what she used to be, but she's not as bad as the AJC has become.
The Brown Thrasher, the Cherokee Rose, and the
Live Oak are our symbols.
Proud, decent, honest people are our heritage.
None are as plentiful as they once were, but none are on the endangered
list, either.
The best barbecue in the world is served at Holcomb's
in White Plains, but Open Air in Jackson ain't far behind.
The best seafood is at Williams in Savannah and
the best catfish is at Henderson's in Covington.
The best sausage is at Stripling's in Crisp County.
The best fried chicken in the world was served
at my mama's house,
Grits is groceries and sugar doesn't belong in
cornbread.
God intended for iced tea to be served sweet.
And lastly, Georgia ain't exactly heaven-but it
will do until I get there.
THE REAL DEFINITION OF A REDNECK:
You might be a redneck if:
1. It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, One nation, under God.
2. You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
3. You still say Christmas instead of Winter Festival.
4. You bow your head when someone prays.
5. You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
6. You treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.
7. You've never burned an American flag.
8. You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
9. You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.
10. You'd give your last dollar to a friend.
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