DC Kitty: Feline Filosopher

The View From DC's Dormer Window

I am sitting in my dormer window
With my nose against the pane
Watching all the different patterns
Made by the falling rain.

Yesterday I sat here watching
Bright leaves falling from the tree
And each one of them was different,too
As quite clearly I could see.

The dawn before I watched the birds
Some brown, some red, some blue,
And I decided, then and there that
Nature planned for cats to be different,too.

I've decided each of Nature's creatures
Is unique in his or her own way
We're just ourselves and no one else
And that is perfectly okay!

DC Kitty, the feline filosopher

A VERY VALUABLE LESSON

Training your human requires patience, cunning and creativity. Humans like to believe they control felines, which, of course, is just another human fallacy. It is very much like the human fallacy that a human can own a feline, when, of course, just the opposite is true.

For example, I have discovered that it is very easy indeed to extricate my human from her warm cozy nest on a frosty morning. She is well aware that I am an early riser. However, she is sometimes slow to respond to my subtle suggestions that I require both her companionship and her services immediately upon arising.

When my human does not respond to my repeated requests for her to provide me with sustenance and companionship, further action on my part is indicated. First I walk up and down her body, yowling loudly all the while. If that does not bring the desired results, I repeat the process while extending my claws very slightly.

If she still does not render the desired response, I place the tip of my nose on the tip of her nose and yowl at maximum decibels. At this point she will respond appropriately by arising to provide me with the affectionate attention I require.

In time, by paying strict attention to my expert instruction, and by assiduously practicing my methods, you,too, may become an expert in the training of humans. For other methods proven to be helpful in training your human, return to this page frequently for further instruction.

~ DC's DIARY ~

Dear Diary,
I am forced to conclude that my human is altogether less intelligent than a feline. I have reached this conclusion based on my human's close involvement with a television screen and a keyboard. Worse yet she spends hours in front of a tiny little screen doing something with an infernal machine she affectionately refers to as "Big Mac." The following events support my evauation of her learning abilities.
A few days ago someone delivered an enormous box with a large quantity of styrofoam peanuts in it. It was obviously intended for me, but she insisted on opening it. She removed what appeared to be a zillion smaller boxes from its cavernous depths. She then began to open these boxes while I practiced my dramatic talents by pretending to be a panther hiding in the peanuts.
When my human left the room, I inspected the other boxes to ascertain their contents. One was open and there was a tangerine mouse sitting on top of it. The mouse's tangerine tail dangled invitingly over the edge of the table. It was evident that this was a toy for me, since all the other things were clearly HERS.
I carefully inspected the toy, then I picked it up in my mouth and began to practice my soccer skills. I practiced dribbling skills by running down the hallway, where I bounced the mouse on the tiles and making it carom from one wall to the other all the way back into the kitchen. It slid really well on the tile, and I greatly enjoyed pouncing upon it, then dropping it back to the floor.
It was then that this intellectually challenged woman actually shouted at ME! She took MY MOUSE and plugged itsTAIL into her infernal machine. Then she said something which puzzled me a great deal. "Wow, she said, MacIntosh makes GOOD mice!" So she put this mouse picture on my page with the tangerine mouse. This confirmed my estimation of her intelligence and her character. My human is somewhat lacking in the attic, but she has a kind heart.
DC Kitty

PS She bought me a catnip mouse today.

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