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Near Death Experiences	Mind & Body Thoughts
To Love	Letters to Cullen

I've started a page called
"Cullen's Letters"
that contains some of the touching letters I've received.
Please feel free to read them.
They are what makes this site worthwhile.

March 12, 2004
My wife and I were at Shands Hospital recently for my check up (very good report by the way)
and we like to visit those who are waiting for a heart transplant to let them know that there really is life after a transplant.
While we were talking to a patient in the hall, pushing her IV along with her, a nurse came up to her
and asked her to return to her room and call her family because they had just received a heart for her.
My wife and I were both crying as we hugged her and wished her well.

We all have Guardian Angels watching over us. We aren't always aware or ready to believe,
but the next time you hear that inner voice urging you to take a certain action,
or feel the need to hesitate when stepping off the curb, or some similar feeling..., believe!
There could be a car careening out of control coming around the corner right where you would have been.
Or when you are at your lowest and a stranger appears and asks you for directions, take a moment.
It just might be the answer to your silent prayer.

"Angel of Love"
Copyright by artist Bradley J. Parrish. All rights reserved.

If you will think back I believe you will become aware of the many times they were there for you, if you aren't already aware.

"My Story"

In 1982 when I experienced a massive heart attack that severely damaged my left ventricle.
That was the night the forgotten heroes, and the second of my Guardian Angels, "The Paramedics" who saved my life, appeared.
I died twice that night. Once while the paramedics were working on me, they used the paddles to restart my failing heart,
and again later in the hospital while they worked for 7 hours trying to stop the heart attack. That was followed by two different bypass surgeries. The first was a quadruple bypass, and the second was an emergency surgery about 5 years later when two of the original bypasses failed.
In 1992 I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. I remember the only way I could sleep was sitting up at the foot of the bed with my arms and head on the ironing board. I was literally drowning in my own fluids.
In June of that year I was evaluated for a heart transplant. I was told I would need a heart transplant or I wouldn't live to see Christmas. They gave me 3 to 6 months to live.
On August 30, 1992 I received my new heart!

Copyright by Danny Hahlbohm. All rights reserved by artist.

My first Guardian Angel was Mary, my wife, and still my primary one. She was with me the night of my heart attack and watched over me (along with her Guardian Angel) making all of the right decisions, starting with calling 911. I don't remember a lot from that night, I kept passing out, (they told me later that I died twice during the 7 hours it took to stop the heart attack),
but I do remember the look on her face. I saw that same look again when they gave us the news about my need for a transplant.
Each time this was followed by a soft glow surrounding her beautiful face, and each time I knew I was going to be safe.

Many of my Guardian Angels took on the form of nurses and, in some cases, doctors. I remember a couple of special ones while I was in ICU following my heart attack.

One was the head nurse there, she had a special aura that surrounded me when she was near. The psych nurse had a similar aura too.
They both showed up again when I had the two different bypass surgeries even though several years had passed. Early in 1992 I began to experience the signs of congestive heart failure.
While on a photo shoot for the advertising agency I worked for, I was only able to walk 10 or 15 steps without stopping to rest. I left the site and took the film to the processors to be developed. It was so difficult to walk back to my car I decided to go by my doctors office.
They immediately sent me to the hospital to be admitted to the Coronary Intensive Care Unit. After a short stay there my cardiologist sent me to Shands Hospital in Gainesville, Florida for evaluation for a heart transplant and fortunately I was accepted and put on the waiting list.
I was admitted to ICU at our local hospital in Orlando, Florida as my condition was getting worse daily. After 2 months in intensive care I was flown by helicopter to Shands' ICU for even more intensive care.
It reached the point where they moved me into MICU and brought a heart pump to the room ready to hook me up to keep me alive. I remembered being placed on one during my heart attack years before.

I can strongly recommend a teaching hospital, especially Shands Hospital in Gainesville, Florida, for heart care.
I have never experienced such dedicated and caring people anywhere else. It's a place that seems to attract special Guardian Angels. When you go through this experience you become sensitive to those special people who are surrounded by that warming aura.
My first contact at Shands turned out to be one of my special Angels. Her aura overwhelmed me immediately, and still to this day, sweeps over me whenever Susan appears.

Angels aren't all female.
There are other male angels besides the four Archangels.

The morning they came into my room in MICU to tell me they had found THE heart for me, my two male Angels, Dr Roger Mills and Chuck McGinn (one of the coordinators) delivered the news (grinning from ear to ear like a couple of Cheshire cats)
each bathed in that special glow. The feeling of relief was like suddenly realizing I had been holding my breath for the last 3 months. Since I had already experienced open heart surgery twice before, the transplant surgery was not a big mystery for me.
I knew what to expect. However, my body was in such a weakened condition that my recovery was a little difficult. I literally had to learn to walk all over again.
My muscles had deteriorated and I had to go through intensive physical therapy. But my wonderful new heart was working like a champ and helped me to a speedy recovery.

I remember meeting Dr Staples (he is the surgeon who did my transplant) at my first Reunion at Shands for transplant recipients since my surgery.
He cocked his head to one side and, smiling his special smile, said; "Oh, I remember you now. I've never seen you vertical before!"
His delightful sense of humor makes everyone comfortable with him.

---

Mary and I go for a long walk every morning right around sunrise, it's our special time together to refresh our spirits with a healthy dose of nature.
I highly recommend this, especially for couples.

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A Tribute To Donors

"In their last hour...
they gave a lifetime."
University of Miami Organ Procurement Organization Aftercare Program.

With every breath I say a silent prayer for my Donor and his wonderful family who agreed to allow his organs to be shared. The emotional rollercoaster one experiences with a transplant can only be shared by the recipient and the Donor family. I want my Donor's family to know that their son is my "special" Guardian Angel. It's very difficult to put into words the"Thank You" due every Donor family. But I certainly hope every recipient tries, even though it may take several months to recover enough physically and emotionally to find the right words without them sounding shallow. It's very difficult to express the gratitude through the fog of emotions that surrounds you during this time. Each person is different so the recovery and emotional reaction varies.
But the overwhelming feeling of gratitude is always there.

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The next time my two special Angels appeared to me together was to deliver the news that my second battle with rejection was over just as I had told them it would be. I had learned how to focus my mind and to visualize my body even to a cellular level so that I could help the healing process using my body's own abilities and to utilize the medications as they were intended.

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"Don't Ever Stop Dreaming Your Dreams"

Don't ever be reluctant to show your feelings, when you're happy, give in to it. When you're not, live with it. Don't ever be afraid to try to make things better, you might be surprised at the results.

Don't ever take the weight of the world on your shoulders. Don't ever feel threatened by the future, take life one day at a time. Don't ever feel guilty about the past, what's done is done.

Learn from any mistakes you might have made. Don't ever feel that you are alone, there is always somebody there for you to reach out to.

Don't ever forget that you can achieve so many of the things you can imagine. It's not as hard as it seems.

Don't ever stop loving, don't ever stop believing,
don't ever stop dreaming your dreams.

~ Author Unknown~

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As of this writing (August, 2005) it's been over 13 years since my transplant and I feel wonderful!

August 20, 2005. We attended the 20th Reunion for heart transplant recipients at Shands Hospital tonight. I had an unexpected surprise...I met John, he was the one who actually delivered my new heart 13 years ago. He remembered me and came up to us to tell us about that night.
What a thrill!

(June, 2002, I was diagnosed with Diabetes. With diet, exercise and medication I am able to keep it under control. This often goes along with a heart transplant partly because of the medications, but I also have a family history.)

(August 10, 2001, I had my annual check up with biopsy, angiogram, heart chambers pressures, and several other tests, and the results were so good that they said I no longer have to have biopsies. Normally you have to wait at least a full 10 years.)

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The mind is a powerful thing when you learn to get deeply in touch with it, and in turn get it in complete touch with your body. That, coupled with absolute positive thinking. A positive attitude can work miracles.

Don't allow any negative thoughts! It's a waste of valuable time and your life is worth more than that.

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In Memory Of
James Clark
1964-2009
Heart Transplant 18 years ago

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(click on the copy below for a special visual journey)
We Send You Our Blessings

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"The Dash"
This site is very inspirational and is offered for your pleasure.
(Click Here)

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Here's a piece written by my friend from Texas that made my heart quiver. I think you will enjoy it:

Bobby Lloyd Pitcock Heart Transplant Story
"One's life from beginning to end, is like a warm blaze in a fireplace from start to finish. Whenever a few logs are set ablaze, they seem to have a small gradual burn. When I see this, I am reminded of an infant crawling, then learning to walk alone.
The flames seem to get bigger and burn more briskly. This again reminds me of a youngster growing and experiencing life as it is, gaining knowledge and growing to adulthood.
At it's peak, the logs in the fireplace seem to emerge into a roaring flame. This brings to my mind, the fast pace part of life,in the years, when marriage, raising children, and working to keep life on track, takes up all of one's time. There never seems to be enough hours in the day. Life in this period, is fully roaring, with many responsibilities. But, like the fire in the fireplace, life can be very warm and satisfying, if one chooses to let it. Then, before you realize it, the logs begin a lower, more gradual burn, reminding me that with the children grown and out on their own, one may tend to slow his or her own pace down to a gradual, more peaceful life.
Soon, the fireplace has only red hot coals, reminding me of retirement years. For extra exitement and a bit more happiness, one only needs to stir the red orange coals for a little flame. When the coals turn gray and cool, that means to me that we've gone to Heaven to meet our Creator. Our fire has burned out in this life........
One more thought comes to me, is that when I received a heart transplant 14 years ago, it was as if God simply, and with love,....threw another log on my fire....

He also passed on this great expression:

"MY HEART HAS HAD AN OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE"

Bob Pitcock
Magnolia,Texas
hrttplnt13@sbcglobal.net

If you would like to see Bob's web site and the story of his transplant click here.

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Here's a story of triumph in life after a heart transplant led to multiple trophies at the US Transplant Olympics.
Gaea Shaw

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Leslie Keown

This is the story of the longest surviving pediatric heart transplant recipient.
She just graduated from high school. She's 18 years old!

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I strongly recommend checking out this site from the Mayo Clinic for an in depth explanation of the whole heart transplant process.
"Heart Transplantation:
A treatment for end-stage heart failure."

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For those of you who have received a new heart, or are waiting for one, I would like for you to visit
"A Second Chance"
for some things to consider. It's a very positive piece that I believe will help you and definitely give you something to think about.

"God, speak to me."

The man whispered:
"God, speak to me."
And a meadowlark sang. But the man did not hear.
So the man yelled:
"God speak to me!"
And the thunder rolled across the sky. But the man did not listen.
The man looked around and said:
"God let me see you"
And a star shone brightly. But the man did not notice.
And the man shouted:
"God show me a miracle."
And a life was born. But the man did not see it.
So, the man cried out in despair:
"Touch me God
and let me know that you are here!"
Whereupon God reached down and touched the man.

But the man brushed the butterfly away and walked on.

Blessings aren't always packaged the way we expect.

Author unknown

(For a special illustrated version of this,
please click
here
to visit the continued page "2" of "Guardian Angels".)

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I BELIEVE IN ANGELS

A drunk man in an Oldsmobile
They said had run the light
That caused the six-car pileup
On 109 that night.

When broken bodies lay about
And blood was everywhere,
The sirens screamed out eulogies,
For death was in the air.

A mother, trapped inside her car,
Was heard above the noise;
Her plaintive plea near split the air:
"Oh, God, please spare my boys!"

She fought to loose her pinned hands;
She struggled to get free,
But mangled metal held her fast
In grim captivity.

Her frightened eyes then focused
On where the back seat once had been,
But all she saw was broken glass and
Two children's seats crushed in.

Her twins were nowhere to be seen;
She did not hear them cry,
And then she prayed they'd been thrown free,
"Oh, God, don't let them die!"

Then firemen came and cut her loose,
But when they searched the back,
They found therein no little boys,
But the seat belts were intact.

They thought the woman had gone mad
And was travelling alone,
But when they turned to question her,
They discovered she was gone.

Policemen saw her running wild
And screaming above the noise
In beseeching supplication,
"Please help me find my boys!"

"They're four years old and wear blue shirts;
Their jeans are blue to match."

One cop spoke up,"They're in my car,
And they don't have a scratch.
They said their daddy put them there
And gave them each a cone,
Then told them both to wait for Mom
To come and take them home."

"I've searched the area high and low,
But I can't find their dad.
He must have fled the scene,
I guess, and that is very bad."

The mother hugged the twins and said,
While wiping at a tear,
"He could not flee the scene, you see,
For he's been dead a year."

The cop just looked confused and asked,
"Now, how can that be true?"
The boys said, ""Mommy, Daddy came
And left a kiss for you."

"He told us not to worry
And that you would be all right,
And then he put us in this car with
The pretty, flashing light."

"We wanted him to stay with us,
Because we miss him so,
But Mommy, he just hugged us tight
And said he had to go."

He said; "someday we'd understand
And told us not to fuss,"

"And he said to tell you, Mommy,
He's watching over us."

The mother knew without a doubt
That what they spoke was true,
For she recalled their dad's last words;
"I will watch over you."

The firemen's notes could not explain
The twisted, mangled car,
And how the three of them escaped
Without a single scar.

But on the cop's report was scribed,
In print so very fine,
"An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109."

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Please take the time to visit my other pages as they all relate to my experiences with the heart transplant or life in general.
I also invite you to view, and sign my new Guestbook after you visit my other pages, just click on "Home" to return.
I really value your comments.

Read my DreamBook guestbook! Sign my DreamBook!

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Please visit some of my other sites by clicking on a link below:

"Cullen's Guardian Angels" "Balancing Point" "Cullen's Thumbnail Gallery" "Cullen's Slide Show" Cullen's "Somewhere in Time" "To Love" "In Memory of Joie" "Mind & Body" "Near Death Experiences"

I've started a page called
"Cullen's Letters"
that contains some of the touching letters I've received.
Please feel free to read them.
They are what makes this site worthwhile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rev. John Watts,
who had a heart transplant in August of 2000, has created a site telling his fascinating story. It is also a call for others who have experienced this wonderful second chance at life, to share their stories. If you, or someone you know wants to contribute, please contact him: TransplantHeart@aol.com

March, 2004
John has written a book;
"The intimate, emotionally compelling, sometimes hilarious, yet inspiring and encouraging account of this preacher's miraculous heart transplant and traumatic near-death experiences"
I invite you to read it!

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ANNIE'S TREASURES
A collection of support sites.

Do not search for us,
we will find you...
Do not wait for us,
we are already here...
Do not whisper your name,
we know it well...
We have loved you forever,
Time will tell...
We are your Guardian Angels.

Author Unknown

Here's a sweet story worth spending a few minutes to read:
"Angels Among Us"

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GOOD FRIENDS ARE LIKE ANGELS,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SEE THEM TO KNOW THEY ARE THERE......

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The next time someone new comes into your life, take a moment and think, "Guardian Angel". You never know.
~~~~~

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you'll know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up, or out, and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that your need has been met, your desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your time has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that Love is blind but Friendship is Clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life......

Author unknown

Take a moment......,
take a deep breath........, relax........,
close your eyes.......,
and listen to the music through one complete cycle.
It will lift your spirits and cause your soul to soar!

This incredibly beautiful music is the theme from the movie "Somewhere in Time", the most romantic love story ever filmed. If you haven't seen it, please treat yourself and your loved one to a moment in time to be shared, and view it together.

Click on the banner below to visit my web site
"Cullen's Somewhere in Time"
a tribute to the movie.

I'd like to invite you to check out the "Index To All Of My Sites":

Maybe you would like to take a break..., sit back...relax...and see some of my photos presented as an automatic slide show. A musical and visual treat.

Some of the same photos presented as clickable thumbnails, just in case you are in a hurry.

This site is dedicated to Joie Armstrong, whose tragic death in Yosemite Park in 1999, affected so many lives that she had touched in her short life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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I want to thank Andy for this very special award created just for my site and for "the Butterfly" art on the "God speak to me!" piece. Thank you Andy for this special award. I hope you will visit her intriguing site for a unique treat that will make your heart flutter with delight.

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Cullen Newman is a member of the Organ Transplant Ring Click for the [ Next Page | Skip It | Next 5 ] Want to join the Organ Transplant ring? Click here for info .

Organ Transplant Information

You're invited to visit the "Continued" page 2 of "Guardian Angels" by clicking here.Thank you for your time.

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